Who raised the kind of men we have around these days?
I mustered the courage to leave an abusive marriage, Again.
I'm broke, scared and uncertain about what the future holds for me moving forward but for now I don't think there's anything more scary than living with a man who thinks it's ok to pour hot tea on my face because he's angry, a man who thinks it's ok to put his hands tightly on my throat and choke me so much that his fingers dig into my skin and make a mark; just because I'm "rebellious" (according to him), a man who threatened to kïll me and go to jail but "he will make sure that I'm not alive to see him going to jail" , a man who slaps me and throws weapons at me just because he's angry or there's a disagreement.
A man who locks me out at any slightest provocation and a man who beats me in public even when I'm carrying a sick baby.
I'm leaving when I still have shreds of self esteem left in me. I don't want to get to that point where I feel it's ok for my husband to "beat me into being submissive" where I feel I deserve to be physically a$saulted because I did something wrong, there's no justification as to why my husband would beat me, slap me, push me, seize my phone or lock me outside. He annoys me and I don't do that to him so why is it ok for him to do that to me for whatever reason.
Four years of emotional abuse and physical assault, four years of fear, suffering, tears and embarrassment.
I have become paranoid so much that my heart skips when I see him. I don't know when the next slap or punch will land on me. I'm constantly running in my mind because I don't feel safe. This is not a way to live.
I'm not a saint but if I have so much bad character that you can't tolerate or manage me is it not best to let me go. Yet he won't. Each time I do. He would beg and beg and recruit people to beg me but I come back he will act nice for two months and go back to default settings. Just keeping me running in circles, physically and mentally.
I need to leave for my sanity. I have become a shadow of myself and everyday I'm slipping into trauma. I may not have loved myself enough to marry this man because he was as$alting me during relationship but I still went ahead with the marriage because I was so scared of what people will say. but I love my kids enough to keep them away from a father who doesn't mind beating their mother in their presence. I'm tired of waiting, praying and hoping for him to change.
Anybody should feel free to mock me but it's better that I'm alive to experience mockery than de*ad and not see the eulogy that would be written on my pictures while typing R.I.P.
I'm sorry to my family and his family who will find this out from here but I needed to do this for posterity sake and to solidify my willpower.
I hope and pray for myself that I muster the courage and not bow to any of his manipulation and come back this time around.
Many people will feel insulted and disappointed that I brought this to the public but I want to say that if your intentions is to advise me to go back and make peace with this man. You're officially my enemy; the only time your feeling of disappointment is valid to me is if you intend to help me stand up to this man to leave me alone because obviously he's gonna come after me and probably try to take my kids.
Of course I will definitely do it the right and legal way by going to my family and have them dissolve the marriage so we can co-parent in peace (if he's capable of doing that though because he hardly does anything in diplomacy) because we're properly married but for now; let me put this out here because keeping it private has done me no good so far.
Come and take a hug girl! Don't ever go back and let those that will mock you do so cos leaving now that you can is better than staying there till he kills you
ReplyDeleteThere is a disturbing rise of the red pill ideology & narrative broadcast by the Alpha Toxic male community....All manner of podcasts are using their medium to propagate this dangerous ideology...
DeleteThis is aside from children that lack home training oh...
They are obedient movement boys. After smoking 🚬 weeds and taking colos they log online to abuse anyone who do not agree to their ideology. Ndi eriri eri na amaghu shi eriri ha.
DeleteOge has packed out, many Ngos have stepped in, published her access bank account details, phone numbers.
Na Keke she take pack out of there, no kobo to hire a cab.
Some men are evil.
DeleteCome and take a hug girl! Don't ever go back and let those that will mock you do so cos leaving now that you can is better than staying there till he kills you
ReplyDeleteI pray she heals and find peace away from him and get to have amazing life in Jesus name
ReplyDeleteShe chose life, sisterhood is proud of you sis.
ReplyDeleteYou have chosen urself and your kids as you should. No one deserves to remain in a violent home for any reason whatsoever. Wish her all the best!
ReplyDeleteGod's blessings in your future endeavors. Your kids would be proud of you.
ReplyDeletePour Hot Tea On You Face
ReplyDeleteWanna Choke You
The Man Is A Bloody Monster..
ThankGod She Have Sense And Ran Away for Her Life..
Hello iya Boys
She should start a go fund me
ReplyDeleteI will donate
May God heal you dear 🙏 🤗..
ReplyDeleteWhat a disgusting human being to take another person’s child and put them through so much torture and torment. Vile beast go away! You don’t even deserve access to those children because you will fill their heads with lies about their mother.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you for finally taking a stand. Anybody who will encourage you to go back is an agent of Satan and an enemy. Whether they are your family or his, anyone who encourages you to go back to that marriage hates you! I hope the right people see your post and reach out with help.
Right decision, you have contained the abuse enough.
ReplyDeleteI know it's good to hear from both sides, but my spirit believes her even without hearing from the man.
ReplyDeleteAaahhh... E reach to run and never look back abeg! It is well with you. 🤗
ReplyDeleteThank God you ran away from that beast.
ReplyDeleteOh dear😮💨
ReplyDeleteThank God for u
You really tried. Thank God you left while you're still alive. Never compromise your life for anything. Immediately he starts raising his voice against you during argument and threatening to hit you. Please take off.
ReplyDeleteMay God be your strength, you've tried, nobody should ever endure domestic violence.
ReplyDeleteI pray you find peace and also finance to take care of yourself and your children as well.
ReplyDeleteI pray you find closure and be able to get past these. Mental Trauma is not a good thing to pass through. Please continue to believe in yourself and trust God for healing and Grace. 🙏
ReplyDeleteStay strong, we live to fight again.
ReplyDeleteDon't ever look back, you made the right decision.
ReplyDeleteThank God she left alive
ReplyDeleteYou have made the right decision girl, never look back again
ReplyDeleteMe and thousand others don already visit the husbands page, the man is obviously sick, he keeps posting back to back, the devil didn't even lock his comment
ReplyDeleteSee them.. Awon sisterhood is proud of you for choosing yourself over abuse.. for getting out of the relationship alive.. Why are we sooo hypocritical??? Or do we think its only women that go through domestic violence? Men do too and only a few come out to say it openly. Some just pack and leave the relationship but we the judginas will not allow them to know peace. A case at hand is Tubaba. How many people know the REAL TRUTH about his marriage and what transpired??
ReplyDeleteNne kudos 👏 to you for taking this bold step.May the Good Lord guide , guard and Protect you, send you Helpers as you navigate this phase of your life with your kids.. Amen 🙏. I salute you.
When they say men go through domestic violence o hardly believe cos I feel they are more powerful. Until I came across MrKassa videos on social media, come and see how his wife is slapping and hit him everyday. The man is really trying to hold himself.
DeleteDomestic violence is dangerous.
Don’t be rebellious in your next relationship you hear, because me my tired is tired of reading chronicles like this, hearing who raised this type of men
ReplyDeleteWhat is the meaning of this??? So assuming she is rebellious, the man is allowed to choke her, beat her, dehumanise her???
DeleteShe is as much an adult as he is, and if she is rebellious it means he is times two. Haba!!!
Its as though he did her a favour by marrying her, he is all perfect and he doesn't do anything wrong. Common, as long as people push this kind of narrative, women and some men will continue to suffer.
Lady T, what is the difference between this one and the slow person equating verbal abuse with physical abuse?
DeleteHaba Mana!... Nobody has the rights to abuse another for whatever reasons. If you're tired of the marriage it's always best to take a walk if you can't cohabit in peace any longer.
DeleteThat's how you choke the rebellious women in your life right? Funnily, when you meet a man like you you won't be able to fight when they look for your trouble. You never meet babes wey dey gym. When dey give you one blow three akpus you will learn.
DeleteEka, both verbal abuse and physical is the same to me. There are words that will be said to you, it will be better the person beat you. Someone like me that hate swell words and curses, I shed tears if anyone curse me and I find it very difficult to forget and let it go.
DeleteSo proud of u
ReplyDeleteYou can not give what you do not have.(Self love) Some were damage from childhood and that sharpen their attitude and approach towards life's challenges.if you do not feel great about your self, you can never treat the person beside you right.
ReplyDeleteMay God direct your path and help you find peace.
Nothing can be compared to self love. I wish you well dear
ReplyDeleteLeave to live.
ReplyDeleteThank God you left while you're alive, may God send you helpers. Amen.
This is sad and heartbreaking 💔
ReplyDeleteThis is too much 🫂
Thank God you left your abusive marriage alive
You have taken that bold step and the right decision. I wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, congratulations for leaving.
ReplyDeleteBuild a small community that will help you stabilise. You will be fine.
You are already traumatised. And you need therapy. But it's good you left. There is no marriage in heaven. And marriage is not by force.
So take a breather. May God open doors for you.
I wonder if that is how men fight themselves at the slightest disagreement they have between themselves but they jump on their women with all their weapon of anger at the slightest disagreement. Too many toxic alpha men roaming the streets freely.
ReplyDeleteI no kukuma blame the men. Na the women wey put body down all in the name of submissiveness. Omo I go sneak out as you dey sleep. No be my body you go use practice male supremacy.
ReplyDeleteMy Kind of guy I enjoy choking 🤪
ReplyDeleteThe guy is a narcissist, pure one.
ReplyDeleteThings are happening. Its well. I wish you all the best.
ReplyDelete