EMOTIONALLY SANDWICHED BETWEEN TWO MEN
I have two important men in my life, let's call them A and B.
A ensures all my financial needs are met, even though he lives and works in a different state. He rarely calls to check up on me, but whenever I have a need, he simply asks how much and sends the money. Whenever he visits my state, he spends quality time with me. He will make sure I go with him everywhere he goes till he leaves to his location. Both of us are from the East.
On the other hand, B is from Edo, he lives in the same state as me. Whenever I ask him for assistance, he often reminds me that I am working and brings up the money he gave me four months ago. If I request 50k, he wil complain for two months, and after much back-and-forth and arguments, he might eventually give me 10k. Financially, he is doing very well.
B emotionally genuinely cares not just me but everyone I know around him but his 1k hardly drops . He calls every day to check on me. If he calls and you did not pick, be ready to receive 100 missed calls. He listens patiently to my daily work issues, and whenever I mention feeling unwell, he shows up no matter the time and makes sure I am okay but don't ask him for money for drugs or hospital. He is willing to spend any amount on food or drinks on me anytime we go out but he rarely gives me cash.
I am working, doing post graduate studies and professional examination (ICAN) so my salary and more goes on school runs. Both of them are aware how I spend my money.
I need to get serious about my life and choose between them.
I need your advice people.
Hmmmmmm you sound like you need a man who will be doing all these things and also giving you raw cash...Please none of these men are for you.....I am like you oh, even though i make my own money, i cannot be with someone who does not give me money and spoil me with whatever he has..Its a deal breaker for me , probably because of a poverty level that i went thru at a time that reset my expectations from a man..
My dear, move on!!!
You and I know Mr A is a married man while Mr B is a stingy man.
ReplyDeleteMy sister keep searching
Fan abeg no kill me with laff😄🤣
DeleteWow, I would have asked you to go for A but with what Fan said, please make sure you investigate to be sure he's not married. Since you are from the east, try to find out from his village. Indirectly ask him where he's from and go do the findings I his village by yourself without his notice . But if you find out that he's single, I would advise you to go for him.
DeleteExactly my thought, @Fan
DeleteTake both of them serious, both of them might end up marrying you. Someone that can not spare 1naira out of her salary for someone else is calling someone stingy. If it's easy to spend your hard earned money, why don't you spend on a guy also. You are working yet you are looking for who will be wasting his own money on you.
DeleteHahajahahah
DeleteFan, it's like You are right
Na ashewo you be. If na man dey fuck two women at the same time no be this energy we go get from una.
DeleteThis is exactly my thought about A, he's definitely a married @Fan.
DeleteStella move on to where kwanu. Poster search your heart and focus on one person. Stingy Men are not easy to deal with even if you have your own money.
ReplyDeleteB is a no no for me. If truly A is not a married man, pls go with him.
DeleteHmmm..this is tempting..
ReplyDeleteI really want you to marry from your tribe but he's not emotionally available..
The Edo guy is also kind but know that no man have it all..none is perfect..
Which of them has proposed to you?
Pray about it..
Dear Poster, Don't confuse attention with intentionality...
ReplyDeleteMr. A is emotionally stingy while Mr. B is monetarily stingy as well...Abort mission for both of them....They are not into you like that....You don't have to caught them off; just maintain a platonic level with them....
I will advise that you start now or once you complete your school, aim to get a higher-paying job while doing some side business to boost your income.... The main reason you are attached to them is the money you are getting or hoping to get more from them...
All the best....
Wisdom full this comment.
DeleteThank you phoenix, you've said it all! Poster be content with what you have and stop dating for money..Mr.A sounds like a married man like Fan said up there☝️
DeleteAbeg that B is a no no. He will bring up the 50k talk he gave you 4 months🙄. He is stingy abeeeeg. Do not settle for B oo.
ReplyDeleteHave you visited A in his location and ascertained that he is single?
ReplyDeletePerhaps, you are yet to give full details about him.
I was able to say the same thing Stella said. If you want to eat your cake and have it, then none of these men is for you.
ReplyDeleteYou need a man who has the balance of both men's quality and unfortunately, you cannot marry two men so I suggest you let them go and find another man.
On the other hand, Have you tried communicating how you feel to Mr A about your expectations of him? some men do not know this things until you spell it out in clear terms.
Nevertheless, Satan be damned if you will have to be reminding a man to call you.
Why can't she marry the two men?
DeleteWhat is left again with what she is doing with the both of them at the same time?
Marriage is the certificate or the bride price paid?
If so, let her go collect certificate with one and her family should collect bride price from the other.
17:22 so once a lady has men coming to sick her hand in marriage, it automatically means she's sleeping with them? What if both men started coming to her at thesame period and because of that she is left with the tax of choosing who is more suitable for her? Well, poster might be sleeping with them(with the way she's demanding money from the men instead of allowing them to give to her at will) but please don't use her to generalize that people sleep with men that are asking them out for marriage or relationship.
DeleteA is doing well financially and would likely continue or improve if you married him. Distance also influences relationships; the closer you are, the better the communication and emotional attachment.
ReplyDeleteB is physically and emotionally present, but he may not be financially present even after marriage; please keep in mind that his financial attitude will remain unchanged.
Money is a defense, but it may not be everything, so select wisely.
Money is a defense, but might not be everything, so chose wisely.
.....with ladies, it is always about money?...what about men, what do they get in relationship?..
ReplyDeleteif money is the issue for ladies...no body should expect a man to commit himself to only one woman.....
Nothing. Most men know this. Most men get nothing. Only few, men very blessed and favoured, or lucky, or well trained by their mothers on wife selection, or very intently selective do get anything. Maybe that is why the majority of men this side of the world do not feel obligated as expected by their wives.
DeleteA man will not hesitate to give even from the little he has it he truly values you. A woman will also want to do same from the little she has just to compliment the man for all the good things he's been doing for her . You cannot separate love from giving, they must go hand in hand , if not, it means there is no deep connection, the person is settling for you for settling sake and he/she will not hesitate to leave you if something happens to you.
DeleteMr A maybe married, the reason he doesn't call often as soon as he goes back to his base..B stinginess stinks. Keep searching you haven't found the one.
ReplyDeleteI hate stingy people with a passion
ReplyDelete15:25
DeleteMe too. I almost wasted my life with one, so now every minute I thank God.
if you are ready to be a second wife, go for Mr A.
ReplyDeleteMr A doesn't call you when he is outside your state because he has someone else who is more important to him than you when he is over there..
ReplyDeleteNo man on earth is too busy 24/7 in a world where there is internet plus SMS,and won't be able to check on a woman he claims to love.
Mr B is stingy with money but not with his time and advice;so it's up to you to decide if you need quality time and an ear to talk to;over physical cash.
An advice to you,in all you are looking out for in a man/Husband;look for a KIND man.
He would give you time,the little money he has,and full attention amongst others.
Also about you,are you what you wish to attract?
Are you kind? Cos it goes both ways.
The same way you have issues you have to sort out with your money,is same way every other kind person does,but they put their problems aside to satisfy you;that's kindness,so do same and get the same treatment
@MARTINS
Well done martins. Good to see your comment. Good advice.
DeleteWell said, Mr. Martins.
DeleteShe is using her money for her education - ICAN + PG studies.
But the man is not to better himself.
When she is fully upgraded with his money and he is still down, she will turn around to say he is not up to standard, or if they marry, she married down.
You're cheating on Mr.B and you're still expecting to chop his money! You're not a nice person..same way you have what you're doing with your money is the same way he has what he's doing with his money..I hope he dumps you first.
DeleteYes, Mr A might be married or has a relationship where he lives
DeleteI prefer Mr A.l think when you start staying in the same location,he will do everything MR B does.ls tiring begging a man you are dating for money.
ReplyDeleteAsk Mr A to take you to his house if you are talking marriage. Because experience has taught me that most men who give you money whenever you asked for it without question are married and know you are wasting your time with them. So it is a kind of compensation.
ReplyDeleteMr B is aka gum. Aka gum men never make good husband in Africa because African women always expect to be given by their men, no matter how much they earn.
Poster you need to research more about Man A. Are you sure you are not dating a married as it gives that vibe. Do more of your research because I know your eyes is looking that way
ReplyDeleteSo you need a Money man and caring man. Since you working and ok, why the need to always ask for money sef. What are you really trying to prove
ReplyDeleteMarry A and use B to compensate where A is missing. Finish.
ReplyDeleteKeep searching Nne
ReplyDeleteYou see that talk about a bird at hand is worth 200 in the bush
You don’t have even half at hand
My sister enter bush and search
One love
Chairman Anon
Poster why won't you be confused when selfishness is blindfolding you to see. From what you narrated there, you didn't mention the one you love rather you are comparing both to know who spends more. You are there because of what you are getting not like you are serious. Besides how much do they owe you?? Abi is relationship a business??
ReplyDeleteHope they wouldn't find out and dump you.
Both know her game
DeleteEach is playing with her by his own rules
I hope they dump her,she obviously does not love any..if she did she won't be dating 2 men at once..she's only with them because of what she wants to gain from them..
DeleteIf Mr A is truly doing the spendings, why can't you be doing the calling or what exactly is your own role in the relationship???
ReplyDeleteHer role is to enjoy their money lol
DeleteA is never single . What can you say to a man who only show you off to everyone and carry you around whenever he is in your state but once he returns back to to his base he will only send you plenty of money and nothing else. Na person husband money you dey chop so, just focus on getting your own man since Mr. B is a very stingy man.
ReplyDeleteAbeg drop B
ReplyDeleteThe frustration will be too much
Neither sound like peace of mind honestly. Either way you'll be settling. Only you can take a position on them.
ReplyDeleteGo for A, that B will make you pay maternity bills with your money oo! Dey play, you hear?
ReplyDeleteRun away from B if you are wise. But if you choose to be a mugu, make sure you keep your ATM card loaded, because it will be needed to pay hospital bills when you give birth...
ReplyDeleteNo nah,those men are the ones that are supposed to run away from her. She doesn't know what she want. Both men are trying their best. Mr B I think uses his head when spending,who knows maybe he must have known her type.
DeletePoster, in whoever you are choosing, don't go for a stingy man.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure Mr A isn't married or in a serious relationship with another person? Do your findings, because there are a lot of married men outside now pretending to be single.
ReplyDeleteMr B is a red flag, whatever he's doing now , he will do worst in marriage, a stingy person can never change before you will see shege banza in marriage, he might even withdraw all the affection and attention he's giving you now after marriage, that's how a lot of stingy people do because they're selfish in nature, look before you leap.
I would choose A if he is not married and i want to believe that you when guys get married, living together might help you see the good in him.
ReplyDeleteB is a no no for because a STINGY MAN will frustrate you after marriage if you have to depend on him for anything..
A stingy man is a no no please
ReplyDeleteAs it stands, you need a man that is willing to spend on you, and B doesn't even come close, And A is emotionally unavailable too, Abort mission poster.
ReplyDeletePray for a man that can give you money and love, trust me, God will answer your prayers.
"Run away from B" we chorus.
ReplyDeleteWe should first ask around if all men who lavish money on women in courtship do so in marriage?
What does a woman who earns want than a man who meets all 4 square needs in the home?
Truth here is that it is B who should run away from Poster. Well, maybe he knows already hence he does not want to invest his money in her or waste his money on her.
Thank you..Mr.B should avoid this poster,she's a cheat and just after men who can spend on her,after spending his money she will dump him for Mr.A or Mr.C.
DeleteWow so this blog still Dey Jesus
ReplyDeleteI remember the days of germanjuic, xoxo and the rest so wow 🤩 miss this blog
The blog is very much alive, still entering and engaging. You made ma remember German juice. Those are the old days, I wonder where the likes of Ghanaman, swag lafresh are.
DeleteKeep A and B while you search. When the perfect man comes, let go of the relationship with A and B carefully.
ReplyDeleteA is better than B please don't marry a stingy man ,it doesn't get better with marriage,.it gets worse once he know you get money.
ReplyDeletePoster do you also communicate? Are you also a giver? Life is a two-way traffic.
ReplyDeleteif i was in your shoe, i wont go for any of them. A seem like he is married
ReplyDeleteand unavailable, B is tight fisted mba.. meanwhile are you also generous with your money? ask your self. you dont have to put all your financial burden on a man but to an extent he has to give without reminding you of how much he gave months ago..
Why are you asking these men for money, when you are not married to neither...you, do you also give from what you earn?? Why are you so entitled to their money?? The excuse of you using your money for school is nonsense! This is Why Nigerian men will continue to treat you ladies like commodities.Zero self- esteem!
ReplyDeletePoster A might not be a married man necessarily but he certainly hasn't decided you are the one. He might like you but he probably has other women.
ReplyDeleteYou have to ask him questions and tell him your concerns to see if he changes but do it face to face. Have you ever been to his house? Do you know any of his family members? These are things you are supposed to know. If after talking to him, things do not change, you can call it off.
For B, he is a capital NO.👎 Drop him already.
I will go with B if I were you. Since he's emotionally there. Communicate with him and ask him why he's behaving the way he's behaving. He might adjust
ReplyDeleteWhat is love without care? If he cares about food and drinks then don't care abt your health, my dear run,A is married or have someone,so take Ma'am Stella advised.
ReplyDelete