THE DREAM
I woke up sad after a nightmare.
My ex invited me to come to his house.i did. Same house I've always known, but it was a mess cos I couldn't even have a bath.
I needed closure about what happened. He showed me a book. In the book his mum was a writer. She had written passively that his supposed wife was supposed to be an engineer. He stumbled upon the book on one of his visits to the village. This makes sense cos it was after a trip to his village that he ghosted me.
I became hysterical. Like you broke up a 14 years relationship over a passive suggestion in a book written years ago and the author, his mum, did not even emphasise (note that she is late).
The next day, I took a keke home crying. He came days later to apologise that we could continue dating that he wasn't so sure.
This hurts on a different level cos just I'm about to heal, I'm having this dream and this is not the first time....
This hurts on a different level cos just I'm about to heal, I'm having this dream and this is not the first time....
Maybe you should check the dream very well for closure.....Hmmm you really tried, you dated someone for 14 whole years and he didnt marry you?Please take heart.
14 years! and broke up over a mere written note. Did you guys start dating in secondary school?
ReplyDeleteWipe your tears. Keep him in your friend zone. Yes, you heal faster when you tell your mind to play superior and use him while you wait for your real man to locate you. When you need something, call him. When he needs you, give a ton of excuses. Let him grovel while your self esteem and heart heals. When he asks if you guys are back in a relationship, tell him you are still thinking about it as you don’t want to be hurt again. Allow him chase you, and this will make you glow and more attractive to other suitors. Take it slow so he doesn’t detect what you are doing. Just string him along while never completely saying no.
DeleteDear Poster, I am confused on what is the dream and the reality here...However, since you said this dream is not the first time, there is a message behind it that you have to heed to....
ReplyDeleteWow 14 years dating someone? For me closure is overrated...Since you guys are on different paths, take your L and move forward...
You don't need to face another heartbreak because he is still not sure you are the one...Consider dating other men...
All the best
Thank you phoenix, thank you so much
DeleteWhat stupid closure? One of the most abused words, like really?? Get your shit together!! Damn it!!
They be like closure yen yen yen, gosh!!
Toh, thought I was the only one that didn’t understand the chronicle
DeleteI can't comprehend what narrated.
DeleteI can't get over the fact that you dated for 14years. You better not take him back. Tomorrow he will come up with another story.
ReplyDeleteWalk away
DeleteDated for 14 years? You are a 🤡 and I don't feel sorry for you.
ReplyDeleteNormally, people would want to take advantage of you. That's expected and normal. As long as the World exists, some people will always want to take advantage of others.
What is not expected and normal is letting them take advantage of you. Like, how can you not love yourself enough to say, "I am not taking this treatment you are dishing out to me".
You deserve some correct hot slap
ReplyDeleteyou are in a relationship for 14 years, doing what na? what you both should be doing in marriage you have already done that in relationship.
God dey talk to us through dreams....
ReplyDeleteIf we listen well
Am I the only one who doesn't understand this chronicle?
ReplyDeleteYou're not the only one my sister.
Deleteyou are not alone
DeleteNot just you😂
DeleteIs well
ReplyDeleteI can never understand people that when a relationship ends, they find it difficult to move on, the worst part is that other people will be showing interest but they are too blind to see, too obsessed with the one that got away to forge ahead, my goodness!
ReplyDeletePoster not all relationships will end in marriage please. I don't even know what to tell you again cuz i may sound harsh
All the best
And many marriages don’t even stay married. I too don’t understand the need for closure, but I am wired differently. I wish the poster peace
DeleteI share this belief too, cry for a bit then move on abi kilode.
DeleteSis You Mean You Dated Someone Son For Good 14Years And He Has Not Wifed You,
ReplyDeleteAfter The Dream You Had You Still Dey Ask Jamb Question...
You Berra Dust All The Datable And Leg Work oooo..
You Have Seen The Revation ooo..
Ok Byeeiii
Hello iya Boys
Wow
ReplyDeleteIt is well oh
Poster, the man wants an engineer, either you go to engineering school or you move on with the realization that you were in a relationship with yourself. Even before he went to the village and found the book what stopped him from doing right by you? He was never truly connected or in it. You were the stand in until the real deal came along. You better make a clean cut and move on and don’t look back. It’s that looking back that always fck ppl up. Lots wife could not go forward after she looked back. Forget the awful past, blank it from your mind, blank any memories of this man and move on and don’t look back. Unless you plan on being an engineer forget it. Do you want to be with a man who will waste away your young years, and one who hold so strongly to something written by a long gone person. Holding on to a dream while being willing to let you that are there fall to the side. Is such a person dependable and reliable? You better wake up and realize that he is not even a good pick with his unwise flaky and flunky self. You are angry that you did not end up with him for life. Mtsscchhwww
ReplyDelete14yrs of relationship, My goodness what were thinking. And he even broke up with you over a flimsy excuse.
ReplyDeleteBut,you sound like the breakup happened in your dream,Anyway, just try and move on, cause a man that breaks up with your over a note, isn't your own.
Forget about the closure follow what you dreamt about if he left because of the village visitation what if his mother appeared to him tomorrow after he has married you that he didn't do what she said in that book just know that divorce is the end.Better face your future squarely
ReplyDeleteSincerely I can't say I really understand this chronicle. It is well with you poster.
ReplyDeleteHe said you guys can continue dating…. After 14yrs??? I guess he wants to make it a round figure before he would be sure.
ReplyDeleteI really do not understand your story if this write up is the nightmare or if this write up happened before your resent nightmare but never the less i would strongly advise you based on the story.
ReplyDeleteHe was dating an engineer lady prior to your breakup and that was why he brokeup with you. The lady might have other options which he has realized that is why he is trying to come back. That guy will only end up with you if he doesn't get another girl as you have never been his priority. If you go back he gets a girl or he and the engineer lady settles note that he will still dump you.
Please note that his mother book has nothing to do with his decision to dump you as the book story was a soft landing. Kindly Pickup your self and move on because i promise you he will disturb from time to time if you like take him back nah you sabi, even a blind man can see this guy does not want you.
Nne, I know 14 years is not easy to let go but then you're better off without him.
ReplyDeleteTruth is, the chances of him getting married to you is very slim. Dream or no dream, sister, take a walk. Men don't date that long to know who to marry.. From day 1 a man already know who to marry; that's why you'll see a man with a woman for a good number of years yet nothing but he'll meet another sister, in a year or two he's already talking marriage and making preparations. Men are logical! If you dated him for this long and he wasn't talking marriage or making positive moves then what are you going back to for???
ReplyDeleteMy dear, make a move now!!!
That is how i dated someone from my early 20's to my mid 20's years and we had an issue. we tried coming back and then I found out that he was asking God to send his wife. Send you a wife when I am here wearing your ring and hoping we get back together?
ReplyDeleteI broke the rship, moved on. Tried to get back (mumu me) amd he told me and i quote "I am not interested in any relationship. I want to use this time to chase money. If you see someone else who wants to marry you, move on." That was it for me. I cried, prayed but I learnt the sacrifice of praise through that incident. I never wished him bad, I continued to thank God and I always prayed that he would meet a woman who would treat him better than i treated him.
After some months, he came back. Came with a chip on his shoulder asking mw back in a cocky way. I said no.
I refused. He was on my case for months.
Note that I did not have a man and I was in my late 20's. During that period, God showed me who I was going to marry in the dream. That further even made me resolute in refusing to get back with him.
One year after I reconnected with my husband.
And i am in a FAAAARRRRRRRR better place.
My husband supports me like his life depends on it.
We have had our ups and downs but I married a real one.
My life even upgraded.
Poster, pray and bless him. Ask God to reward you.
God will settle you.
Lovely comment
Delete14 years of relationship feels exhausting. I wish you all the best
ReplyDeleteGrowing up I have always seen and known that love isn't about chasing clarity or seeking validation in shadows. But fourteen years? That’s a teenager who is about to get into SS3 or about to leave. So it is no small journey - it’s a lifetime of hope, effort, and dreams stitched into someone who never truly saw you. You were in an emotional coma.
ReplyDeleteThat dream wasn’t random; it was your heart gently - and painfully - reminding you of what you've been too loyal to let go of and your mind slamming the gavel, screaming, “Case closed! It hurts because it matters. But love isn’t meant to leave you begging - stop looking for closure in broken glass. You don’t need it; he already gave it the day he walked away unsure. You gave your all, in your long audition for a role he never intended to cast you. You don’t owe your past another second.
You deserve someone who chooses you without hesitation, not someone who hides behind ghosts and guesses. Healing isn’t waiting for him to choose you - it’s you choosing you - extreme self-love. Let him go, darling. You're not a character in his family prophecy; you are the author of your own becoming. Grieve if you must, but for heaven’s sake, move - and it will be your brave new beginning. It is finished!