Hmmm.....
COMPLICATED SITUATION
I was married for four years, and everything was peaceful until my parents in-law began to find fault in everything about me because we were TTC.
We live with my parents in law.
One day, my mother-in-law confronted me, demanding that I either give her son a child or leave, as he is her only son. My husband remained silent and didn’t try to defend or protect me.
During that difficult time, I reconnected with an old schoolmate who offered a listening ear whenever the pressure became overwhelming. One thing led to another, and I ended up pregnant by him. When I told him about the pregnancy, he said he wasn’t ready to be a father, went to stay with his elder sister in another state and completely cut off all communication. He is an only son.
I decided to move on with my life. Surprisingly, my husband and parents-in-law were incredibly supportive throughout the pregnancy. Two months ago, God blessed us with a baby boy. You need to see my husband. He and his parents treat me like gold. The only thing I do for my baby is to breastfeed him. My mother in-law does every other thing. My husband and his family are planning a big naming ceremony in a few weeks.
Two days back, my uncle, who raised me like a parent after my parents and twin brother passed away, came to visit. He mentioned that my ex came to visit him with a drink asking for my hand in marriage.
During that difficult time, I reconnected with an old schoolmate who offered a listening ear whenever the pressure became overwhelming. One thing led to another, and I ended up pregnant by him. When I told him about the pregnancy, he said he wasn’t ready to be a father, went to stay with his elder sister in another state and completely cut off all communication. He is an only son.
I decided to move on with my life. Surprisingly, my husband and parents-in-law were incredibly supportive throughout the pregnancy. Two months ago, God blessed us with a baby boy. You need to see my husband. He and his parents treat me like gold. The only thing I do for my baby is to breastfeed him. My mother in-law does every other thing. My husband and his family are planning a big naming ceremony in a few weeks.
Two days back, my uncle, who raised me like a parent after my parents and twin brother passed away, came to visit. He mentioned that my ex came to visit him with a drink asking for my hand in marriage.
He told him I was married but he went ahead to reveal to my uncle that the baby is his. He said if I deny it, he will opt for a DNA test, insisting he couldn’t allow his first son to grow up in another man’s house.
My uncle came to confirm if the child truly belonged to my ex. I explained everything to him and begged him to convince my ex that it’s impossible for me to leave my husband.
Yesterday, my ex called and threatened to show up at the naming ceremony to demand his child. I am deeply afraid. My life is crumbling.
My uncle came to confirm if the child truly belonged to my ex. I explained everything to him and begged him to convince my ex that it’s impossible for me to leave my husband.
Yesterday, my ex called and threatened to show up at the naming ceremony to demand his child. I am deeply afraid. My life is crumbling.
One mind asked me to ignore him but I am afraid he might go through with his threat because he’s stubborn and has always hated my husband with a passion.
My uncle has been begging him to reconsider but he refused. I feel completely lost. How do I face my husband?
JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH......so your hubby is the one with the problem? You should have ended the Marriage the minute you found out that you were pregnant.....
My uncle has been begging him to reconsider but he refused. I feel completely lost. How do I face my husband?
JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH......so your hubby is the one with the problem? You should have ended the Marriage the minute you found out that you were pregnant.....
So now you want to give another mans child to another? You are joking...You better end that marriage and move on faraway please or you might lose it all....
You are a very wicked woman and trying to put the blame on your in laws....You were asked to leave and you should have left , not to try this fatherhood scam.....One thing led to another indeed, Anuty you carried kpekus to gift another man to see if you will get pregnant...!!!
People need to understand that when a woman is TTC it doesn't mean she is the one with the problem. That aside, madam tell your husband, because he'll defintely find out. Passing another man's child as his is a no no.
ReplyDeleteI think the husband and his parents knows he is not capable of impregnating his wife. Now she got pregnant by someone else and they accepted it as if his their son that got her pregnant.
DeleteAll of them, including the parents are scam.
From shoulder to lean on to penis to lean into.
DeleteMarriage is honourable.
It should be started honourably and ended honourably.
I wish you had divorced your husband before this rubbish you did.
As it stands now, ask your uncle to come and break the news to your husband while you pack on advance.
The marriage has ended. If I were your husband I will fling you away with immediate alacrity.
Also don’t think that baby would be taken care of by your ex.
He’s just blinded by vengeance and the desire to have you grovel and bed and be at his mercy.
Call him and tell him to do his worst and tell him that if he makes you leave your marriage (which unfortunately may not survive this), that he must take care of the baby. If not, you would make sure he doesn’t see that boy got life
You should also consider relocating.
I’m sorry to say this sis, but you just derailed the direction of your life.
Lean on Jesus and not on a penis (pun intended) to help you make this right.
I wish you the best.
Mma Cee
16:03
DeleteAnybody in the business of writing to bias, influence, persuade, or spin who does not read this Blog's Chronicles and the comments under them is missing free thousands FX worth of masterclass tutorials.
What a spin!
Na omoale she be . Abeg give the child to the rightful owner werey
DeleteI can imagine the heavy heart you must have been carrying around as a result of that thing that happened. There was an avenue to leave but you stayed. I’m wishing you luck
ReplyDeletePoster paternity fraud is now a thing of past, sooner or later the truth will come out. Better go to your parents house and break the news to him over the phone. If you tell him in his house you may not live to tell the story
DeleteDear Poster, This is a tough one! A beautiful human being who is a blessing to your life is here. However, it came from a terrible decision of meeting with your ex...
ReplyDeleteNo one will agree that your husband has fertility issues because you strayed away in bid to save your face...
Now this has happened: The way forward.
1. I hope you have your own money like savings, investment because you will lose this marriage. This is one of the outcomes...
2. Your husband has to know the truth; there is no better way to tell the truth because it will hurt. I will advise that your uncle and a trusted mature relative be present to break this news to your in-laws. Don't do this alone because you are clearly outnumbered in your home.
3. Don't ever resort to blackmail with this your ex; don't pay him for any threats. You mustn't marry him because he got you pregnant but you can agree on how you raise your child & allow him be in your child's life..
Ask for forgiveness from God and your husband. Resort to making better life decisions as you have got a child now..
All the best 👍
What if that baby belongs to your husband? You never can tell.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts as well
DeleteJust carry the baby and run far away.
ReplyDeleteThere’s nothing else you can do because one day your sins will find you out
Zendaya
This can't even be true..u Even told Ur ex about the pregnancy..
ReplyDeleteI can't believe this..
you should have ended the marriage when you find out you are pregnant for another man. now you have made the situation worst
ReplyDeleteconfession is the only option now
May God help you
Well they were both being annoying at the time this happened
ReplyDeleteIn my mind, both of their feeling are transactional
This is what you should do
Before you upend or not upend your life, go and do dna test with your ex. Unless you were not sleeping with your husband at all during this period, you can’t be sure this is not his child. The fact that H is not questioning it, makes me thing you two were intimate during the window of conception
Do the test with your ex because you clearly can’t tell H what’s up without knowing for sure
Poster this is going a very long ride with sleepless night. Get ready because the wahala is just starting. You didn't do well at all.
ReplyDelete🤭🤭🤭
ReplyDeleteLet me give you an advice that will shock you by how well it will work.
DeleteTELL YOUR MOTHER INLAW!
She is desperate and will understand that her son has a problem. She has bonded with that baby and will find solution.
The best answer so far, tell your mother in law privately she will figure out what to do next
DeleteThis is huge o. Only God will deliver you from this. Tell them the truth and decide.
ReplyDeleteThis is pathetic and very emotional but there is nothing you can do now ;just disappear because even if you confess you will kill many people,your husband,his mother and if your husband turned up it may end his life.It is a very difficult situation you are,better find a reason to postponed the naming and flee to unknown place
ReplyDeleteIt's women like you that make the kangs here talk to women anyhow. You had extra marital affair, got pregnant and decided to give another man's child to your husband, what kind of paternity fraud is that, you are wicked oh. Take the baby to hia father ahewo.
ReplyDeleteThey will always talk anyhow whether or not 1 million or 0 chronicles about female infidelity was brought to this blog... Let's face it.
DeleteAfter all, there's constant news about deadbeat father's, abusive men and the likes... but no, the extra layer of scrutiny is only applicable to women🙄🙄
Anon 16:16, well said.
DeletePeople are all wired differently, some are fighters that can take on any army and others crumble at the slightest bit of struggle.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, the in-laws are abusive ppl. Your husband sitting quietly while you were treated anyhow speaks volumes. I wish you had the backbone to know your worth, but probably as someone without parents you felt you had to put up with any bad treatment. From the moment that woman placed you under an ultimatum to give them a child you should have left their place. That was reason enough to go no matter the love for your husband or vows taken. Never give your power away to anyone. You may not have parents in the world but you have love, family and God.
Maybe you stayed because of financial pressure. Maybe you stayed because your lover abandoned you. Now a mess of epic proportions is stirring. I honestly do not like drama following the birth of a child.
Ask for the naming ceremony date to be pushed back to buy yourself some time and sort out yourself. Find a clever and realistic reason for pushing back the request. Then take the time to figure out the best approach to resolving this. There is a 1 in 1 million chance that the child is your husband’s, so do a dna test of your own quietly. Find out from a lab what they need. If your dna test comes back as being for the ex, then you have to leave the marriage. But leave the home with the baby before you tell your husband. These kinds of confessions stir up different emotions and since those ppl are not nice, you do not want to be in their environment. Your uncle will have to be an ally and confidante. Things happen in life and unfortunately we sometimes create a mess of things through our actions. That you told the ex of the pregnancy tells me that you probably had some hope you would have ran off together, because if you were sperm hunting to get pregnant, you wouldn’t have said anything. Maybe you will still get your wish in a more dramatic way.
Exactly!
DeleteShe was hoping the ex stays with her.
Lmaooo
He relocated sharp sharp and cut off communication.
Who wants a cheating woman.
If indeed you wanted to pass it off to your husband, your ex wouldn’t have even had a ray of idea
I’m sorry poster but you no try oh.
God will help you.
You don fuck up be say tou don fuck up, no need to blame inlaws or any body. From thr first day you found out that you are pregnant, you should have ended your marriage with your husband and let his family know that you are okay.
ReplyDeleteYou did not also mention to us if you andnyour husband visited the hospital to find out why you both are TTC in thr first place and sort for medical assistance.
You gave your body to another man while still married to your husband, which other sin is more than this one? Allowing another man to claim you. You and your ex are useless people for doing this to that man, you should have walked away from that marriage than to sleep with another man all in the name of one thing lead to another. Your ex must disgrace you on the naming ceremony cos that is what he has been looking for and you granted him his heart desires.
Why didn't you and you ex get married in the first place, why did you marry your husband but felt your ex is the best person to discuss your challenge with ? You didn't have pastor, friends,colleagues, neighbours, group members, relatives who you could discuss with abi your husband is not your best friend for you both to discuss? You are losing this marriage plus all the respect you got from everyone around you. You better confess to your husband, let the naming be cancelled than you collect public disgrace from your ex. You shouldn't have told your ex that you are trying for a child, you shouldn't have told him you are pregnant. Can't you see this guy mean no good for you, he want to destroy your happiness and life.
You are correct. She took foolish decisions and now might loose everything. Like which married tcc woman tells an ex she’s pregnant, madam what we’re you expecting ?
DeleteMadam you are wicked just because you gave birth to a son, suddenly your husband and his mother are kind to you and you are there jubilating. End that scam of a marriage you never see husband yet. A husband that can't defend his wife. A mother in law that told you to leave when you had no child. Take your child and leave that marriage and STOP begging your ex because he has a right to the child. Start seeing yourself a single mother with a child.
ReplyDeleteMadam, own your mistake and stop shifting blames. No one is perfect nor above mistakes but the annoying thing is when you try to shift the narrative. You obviously have no conscience and to you it's all about you. You should have told the truth and let your husband decide if he wants to raise another's child or not.
ReplyDeleteI'm not supporting what your in-laws did to you (that's is if it's true) but two wrongs do not make a right.
Well, at least the world will know that your husband is impotent. I am a man but I hate it when men blame their wives for being unable to conceive, especially when there is no proof that the woman is not fertile. I also hate it when men blame their wives for having only female children. How can a man be ignorant that they don't even know that it is the sperm (x or y chromosome) that determines the sex of a baby?
ReplyDeleteThank you for this truth, the man was actually the problem but you will see him blaming the woman and even boasting hiw he could have impregnated other women
DeleteWomen please, stop making the opposite gender the shoulders to cry on when you're having trouble, especially in your marriage or relationship, they don't love you, let alone like you, they always use the opportunity to sleep with you if you're slack and vanish if it comes to taking responsibility.
ReplyDeleteGo and do DNA test to be very sure of the father, the baby can be your husband's, if he's your husband's, fine, if he's not, give the baby to the owner, you should have left before you had an affair.
This is a heavy comment for women. Thank you Grateful Soul.
DeleteSome men only have female friends who they tell virtually everything including what's wrong with their fertility and sex life. Theres one who's wife was uncomfortable with the way he chat women up with sensitive issues about them told her that he don't want to burn bridge
DeleteDear poster hmmm, you made a mistake by telling your boyfriend that you are pregnant then but the mistake has been made already anyways, Stella her getting pregnant from the guy is not all her fault TTC woman pass through a lot that they can even do anything to get pregnant so..
ReplyDeleteWhat you will do now is to tell him that after 4 years both of you stayed together that you could not conceive but met your friend once it entered but before this get ready for the outcome so that whenever the guy comes to claim the baby he is aware already if he throws you out too you see with your eyes
Remember to take care of your baby boy no matter what happens
Wishing you good luck
This is really serious.
ReplyDeleteI wish you didn't tell your foolish ex about the pregnancy. Now you have lost everything!
Wow
ReplyDeleteThis Is Really Difficult
May God Help You ooo...
Hello iya Boys
Why am i reading" Why did You tell the Ex??? Instead of asking Why did You Cheat.
ReplyDeleteIf na me I will never even tell my ex that I Don miss my period, I will jejely carry the pregnancy give my hubby make he dey feel like na man he be
DeleteBecause the world is not an even playing field for everyone. And ppl have had to do all kind of things to survive in this world. The shame of going back home for not getting pregnant, prompted the poster to take measures to avoid that shame and in the process has created a spider web situation. It’s 2025 and a grown woman is going to treat another woman like a breeding machine, telling her to get with child on request or face eviction. They likely are of lesser means if they are living with his parents, so she does the desperate and lay with another man in the hopes of changing her situation and keeping herself fed and a roof over her head. The people who are saying she should have kept her mouth shut probably understand having to make harsh life choices in the quest for survival.
DeleteThe poster is not a bad or wicked person, she is simply a person trying to survive and play the hand she has been dealt in a culture where a woman’s ability to bare children by any means decides the level of respect she receives and having security. I didn’t go in hard on her because I get what drove her to the choice she made, doesn’t make it right, but I get it.
Now, love has the ability to shift a situation and swing things in a remarkable way. What if her mother-in-law had walked through the door at the same time and told her not to worry about the difficulty conceiving, that she was loved and she would support her and be there for her as a mother, maybe she would have had the assurance of support and not look in the ex’s direction. But that mother was dropping words here and there, making sly remarks until she told her plainly it was a baby or eviction. What if the poster has nowhere to go or nobody to turn to. We as women need to do better and there are too many older women who treat younger ones like garbage. The poster doesn’t even have a mother of her own in her life, so she is likely craving a motherly love. There are too many older women who perpetuate toxic cultural practices and beliefs. People need love and support when they are down not kicks and being barked at.
The poster is no saint, but who on this earth is.
Anon 22:57 you ruined this lovely write up with the Last phrase" who on earth is a saint" there are saints in this world, you may not be one but don't paint everyone black just to make someone feel better. It is very wrong. TTC is a very difficult situation especially when one is broke and I sympathize with the poster and by the way no man has the right to claim the child of a married woman except her husband is not interested, that child belongs to the man who is married to the woman.
DeleteThe deed has already been done.you gave the devil the opportunity to mess your life and brought in confusion. Things will never remain the same again except God intervenes.
ReplyDeleteBe ready to accept the outcome of this.Confess to your husband now!
Postpone the naming ceremony and quietly do a DNA with your ex to be sure of who the real father is. Chai, your heart must be heavily troubled.
ReplyDeletePoster, are you very sure the baby belongs to your ex?why going to your ex for solace? You don't have a female friend or relatives you trust? You knew going to your ex could result to sex but you still went ahead.dose your baby looks like your ex? If you can afford DNA just do it secretly before breaking the news to your husband.
ReplyDeleteTo preserve your face, quietly leave the marriage with your child. When you found out you were preggie; you should have immediately faced your truth, told your hubby and left. But you wanna play the victim card. Haunty, please spare me....
ReplyDeleteNigerians and lies and more lies...you lot deserve each other! Scammers the lot of 'em!
ReplyDeleteYou don't have any female friend to lean on? No mother or sister? Must it be a man ?
ReplyDeleteFrom emotional affair to sexual affair to paternity scam . Madam please leave husband house.
These years did you both visit the hospital for proper checks?
Haba na. Abeg leave me
Poster you shouldn't have told your ex about the pregnancy
ReplyDeleteThat's why I don't agree with she's just a Friend, she an ex, I had no feelings for her etc, woman and man cannit be just Friend. They must knack
If they say they don't knack, it's a big lie to make their partner feel safe small
The truth is that if you don't confront the situation, it will still haunt you eventually. I don't know how people sleep at night knowing you're deceiving someone with something as heavy as a child. Confess and move on. Let me child know his real father, and let your in-laws know that their son is the one with the problem
ReplyDeleteWawu, my gender, is always quick to blackmail their foolishness for inadmissible public empathy - just to save face. Still, I'd like to sympathise with your chaos. At your age, you should know every choice and decision has its consequences - you didn’t think this through. That you were, pressured, abandoned emotionally, suffocated mentally, and in a moment of weakness, you chose what looked like an escape. But secrets are seeds; they grow into weeds. See ehn, you didn’t just play with fire - you also danced in gasoline while holding a match.
ReplyDeleteBe that as it may, you are in a tangled mess - a ticking bomb wrapped in silence. You gambled with deceit to heal a wound that wasn’t entirely yours. But you didn’t heal; you hid. And now the truth is clawing its way out with bloodied hands. No matter how warm the house feels now, it’s built on a lie that will eventually collapse. You can’t outrun a shadow this big. But if there’s a little doubt anywhere inside you, you may do a DNA test - privately, if you can afford it. And own your truth facing your husband.
This is an open wound, and it sore, will not heal anytime soon. So, tell your husband. Not because he deserves the shame, but because you need your life back. It will shatter him, but secrets rot the soul, and you're bleeding dignity trying to bandage this lie. Delay the naming ceremony, relocate if you must, and end your marriage - paternity fraud isn’t something that is forgiven once it goes public. Your ex isn’t interested in fatherhood; he’s interested in control and chasing revenge. Don’t negotiate with a man driven by ego. If he wants war, let him walk into a courtroom, for shared custody.
Stop indulging your mind to wander, and own your shame like armour. Stop managing optics and start managing consequences. Stand tall. You owe that child your courage. This is no longer about saving face but about shielding a child from becoming collateral damage in adult foolishness of paternity fraud. Tell the truth, even if your voice shakes.
One thing led to another 😁😅😆🤣😂 I have read this statement from ladies unaccountable and it always cracked me the ‘eff up’
ReplyDeleteSo you honestly think that your horseband doesn't know he is impotent?
ReplyDeleteShooting 7up instead of sperm?
You think his mother doesnt know or father?
Chai! Naive and foolish at the sane time.
Not a good combo in a country like Nigeria where vultures preside.
So what caught my eyes is this:
"He mentioned that my ex came to visit him with a drink asking for my hand in marriage.
He told him I was married but he went ahead to reveal to my uncle that the baby is his."
So this old school friend that you were joyously bouncing on his bonono, you didn't tell him you were married?
Lolll.
Who you wan deceive?
You deliberately got pregnant my love.
All of you should deal with the gutters you've created. All I see are level 1-5 scammers.
1 being most proficient and 5 being a learner.