Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TOUGH ONE
What would you do...
Your elder brother's wife is a big business woman. She is very nice, treats your parents well, is paying for your tuition at the university and has even built a house where your parents live.
Then you catch her cheating at different times with strong proofs. Will you tell your brother, or your parents or just mind your business. Remember, she could withdraw all she is doing for your family if you talk.
What would you do...?
Hmmmmmmm!!!!...I honestly dont know what to tell you...
Telling you to tell your parents and your brother would be scattering everything and it would be on your head for a long time...you might regret you talked..
Asking you not to talk would also be a wicked thing...
Please study the situation well and decide by yourself what to do....
Maybe you can talk to her directly instead of telling anyone? Tell her you know and beg her to stop......
Wait oh, telling her might put your life risk oh.....
Please study the situation and do what you have to do....Na asewo your brother marry so!
I will tell my brother, and let him do what he has in mind.
ReplyDeleteConcealing such information will keep me restless, no matter what benefits am getting from her.
DOZZYBEST.
Swear you haven’t seen a male relative cheat before and didn’t even think twice about it? And what makes you think your brother doesn’t know about it? He probably met her like that and married her for her other positive qualities.You telling him will have to force a reaction from him. So after you caught her the first time, she didn’t feel guilty enough to stop or change strategy but continued till you have to catch her many times, and you think your brother knows nothing of it?
DeleteMy advice, either face front or speak with her directly and hear what she would say. Who knows, what you connote as cheating may not be what’s going on. Did you find her in bed with the said men? Marriages are different, from what I have come to understand. One rule doesn’t apply to every marriage in this present generation especially. When you get married, you decide what is a dealbreaker for you. Leave your brothers marriage alone.
Thank you Ms Saphire
DeleteMake we kuku stop talking about or on adultery in chronicles.
DeleteSince Marriages are different; one rule doesn’t apply to every marriage in this present generation especially; and when when people marry they, decide what is a dealbreaker in their marriages.
A woman's adultery chronicles traditionally elicit pacifying and or sarcastic comments.
It is a man's adultery or polygamous decision that that gets the sticks and sour beans.
Would it not have been better to stop at interrogating the authenticity and veracity of the allegation/proofs?
Tell your mother and not your brother.
ReplyDeleteChances are he is aware. Your mother will know how best to broach the situation. But prepare yourself that you will very well become the enemy.
How difficult is it to just stay faithful in marriage???? How abeg? Especially if you are in a healthy marriage, why would u want to use ur hands to ruin things?
ReplyDeletePoster, it's like you people like money more than the right thing sha
Exactly Queen! Imagine asking us what we would do? When you should have done it already. You see this love of money it will lead to destruction. Are you not even scared that your elder bro might contract something deadly from this? Abi you also trust her to be sleeping with these men with protection as per say she get money???
DeleteEka, a ring or a marriage certificate is just symbolic and you can’t expect someone who has a particular lifestyle or character to change because you placed a piece of metal on her finger. I don’t believe marriage has the power of change people.
DeleteHunger go kill una o 😂
ReplyDeleteJust leave am . Their neck go long pass ostrich own. His brother knows sef.
DeleteHunger wey go training na him go finish them. Kikikikiki
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteMaybe his/her brother might even be aware
Uwa nke a sef
In this life, just try and have your own money, whether you be man or woman. Mouth wey chop dodo no fit talk ododo.if your brother had his own money and was taking care of his family, you wouldn’t think twice before you told the truth but you sef na beneficiary of your sister inlaw largess so think am well
DeletePoorer husbands always know as of course that their wives are cheating and ALWAYS accept it.
DeletePoorer wives never know as of course about their horsebands' cheating.
Poorer Wives mostly or always find out their horsebands' cheating by digging and snooping even when they had no prior grounds for suspecting their horsebands; or they find out by being told; or etc.
But they never accept it.
They are never advised to stay in or work at mending their marriage to avoid hunger.
If they stay to avoid clear hardship, they are taunted for it.
They are advised to leave and to seek how to strip their husbands of all or at least half of all he has even if he acquired them 30 years ago before marriage.
Adultery by any gender (that is the name for it) is not here supported.
But Man 8 na SOME (sorry, most of) una way.
Some of una even tagged the poster as "Oga".
That is the largeness of the 8 (LOL).
As if there is a woman who has no human male in her family.
#Yinmu
I feel your elder brother knows but cannot do anything about it because she is the breadwinner......I will ask my brother what he will do if he founds out his loving wife is a cheater, his answer would make me know how to table the matter.
ReplyDeleteAll the best, don't say it outrightly ooo.
Oga face front
ReplyDeleteSometimes what we see is not as we see it. Polyamory is on a steady rise and who knows what couples are agreeing to these days. With more men having erectile difficulties even from diabetes and hbp, only they know what allowances they are giving their wives.
ReplyDeleteIf you could find out more than once then that means others know. Have you prayed on it? Have you sought wisdom to show you what to do? Some years ago I had a dream that someone would lose a lot of money, I mean money that I would not know how to write the figures. I wanted to share it but decided to seek wisdom first. Well wisdom told me it would be dangerous to say anything. I opted to keep it to myself, a few years on and seeing how things developed, wisdom was right, it was dangerous for me to say anything and I would likely have gotten caught up in what I didn’t know or understand. Telling may seem to be the obvious right answer and the one loyalty demands, but wisdom is a divine energy from God and it never wrong. Seek wisdom!
I will advise you to be very careful and who knows if your brother is even aware of her waywardness.
ReplyDeleteIts a dicey situation. But why do i also feel like your brother may be aware of her adulterous acts since you've caught her several times.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe when your brother is in a very good mood, or your parents, you can create a fictitious situation that matches this story to see their reaction and then you'll get your answer.
You have to continue to keep quiet,since all of you are benefiting from the proceeds of her promiscuity. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteSo you are contemplating hurting your own brother because of the monetary benefit your parents and yourself is getting from a cheating wife?
ReplyDeleteThis is the height of Taboo where I come from😏
There is evidence and you are double thinking this?
How much is enough money that you are willing to betray your own sibling?
Money is a visitor,and the money she has today,can also be made by you or any member of your family!
Don't tolerate humiliation because of any financial aid,it will cause you your peace of mind and self esteem.
Send the evidence to your Bro,if he decides to still keep her as his wife,that's his business but what matters is that you have cleared your conscience.
@MARTINS
How do I like this comment a thousand times?
DeleteThank you, Martin's. You saved me from typing much.
Poster, are you a Christian? If yes, what would Jesus do? Would He advise you share in the sin by keeping quiet, or speak the truth to her spouse, your brother?
Pray then act.
Have a discussion with her and tell her to stop. Don't others know about it from you ooo
ReplyDeleteI will give my brother a clue, let him do his findings well . One must not close one's eyes to evil and pretend all is well because one is benefitting from it. Don't sell your conscience to money. What goes around comes around.A promiscuous or adulterous wife could kill. Remember, No free antiretroviral drug again oo and STD is real!
ReplyDeleteYou have strong proofs? Don’t tell anybody, open office on her head 🚶♀️🚶♀️
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
It could lead to his d@ath because she might want to get rid of him if she gets exhausted from giving..
DeleteAhhhhhh
DeleteFollow this advice at your own risk..blackmailing her can put you in harms way..never underestimate people who are being blackmailed.
DeleteI will tell my bros because of stds
DeletePlease tell your brother and let him decide if he will tell your parents or not.
ReplyDeleteDo not confront her on anything.
The truth is, who told u ur brother doesn’t know she is cheating? For u to catch her at different times with ‘strong proof’ means she is a chronic cheat. And if she is a chronic cheat, it means her hubby (ur brother) has also caught her several times. So pls mind ya business.
ReplyDeleteWhat if your brother isn't aware of the situation? You should tell him with wisdom, make him understand that you are just looking out for him and his well-being.
ReplyDeleteI mean his health is at stake here. If the sis-in law isn't careful, your brother is finished.
Your brother will hate you very well if you ever open your mouth because that info you want to leak will remove the comfort she's giving everyone in your family. Think twice
ReplyDeleteDon't tell ,use anonymous ways like text ,email with evidences anonymously to your brother ,pls it is deep deal with your brother only and let him chooses whatever is appropriate after all the woman is sinning against your brother not any of you
ReplyDeleteWhether your brother knows or not, tell him, anything that wants to happen should happen, what if she infects your brother with deadly diseases.
ReplyDeleteMaybe they are in open marriage, or she is feeding you people with the adulterous money.
Don't tell ,use anonymous ways like text ,email with evidences anonymously to your brother ,pls it is deep deal with your brother only and let him chooses whatever is appropriate after all the woman is sinning against your brother not any of you
ReplyDeleteVery dicey situation
ReplyDeleteThe Lord will give you wisdom on how to handle the situation
Let us know how it goes
Tell your brother but don't tell your parents. Let him decide for himself.
ReplyDeleteWhat's this bis statement 'the brother probably knows'? We keep excusing rubbish here all the time.
ReplyDelete@poster, I would say, catch her in the act, probably with another family member so she's aware the cats out of the bag.
Either way, don't tell your brother directly but inform an elder.
The family needs to know tho.
On an aside...a Nigerian sister in-law becomes uber generous up to that extent and you were all chopping without asking yourselves How Come? That kind of generosity, a Nigerian Woman,? How?? Something had to definitely be behind it.
Lol.
DeleteYou are surprised? You do not know that here:
A richer wife's adultery is always known to the husband and accepted by him.
A richer husband's man's quest for a second wife is a taboo and pure wickedness.
A rich husband's failed attempt at adultery is a "deal breaker for me", "how could he even dare do such", etc.
The highlighted comments show that the issue about polygamy and the "other woman" is inheritance and sharing of the man's wealth, which are enough enough for the typical woman; not love, not betrayal of trust, or not dislike for the proverbial "sharing of fluids".
However, as rare as it sounds, there are good "one in a million" truly blessed women who do the charity mentioned without the acts alleged.
They don’t want the poster to tell the brother, that’s all.
DeleteMy own is that she shouldn't kpai you silently to prevent you from revealing it. If I were you I won't tell my parents but I will go straight to my brother and tell him then he will decide by himself how he's going to handle the situation.
ReplyDeleteThe only time in this life, that most people have a problem with a cheat is, if the cheat is a broke person but if the cheat is very wealthy just forget!
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha
DeleteOn such occasion, MOST people go to SDKchatBot to get comments on the related post.
LOLzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
If you don't care about your brothers life you can keep the secret but if you do, tell him even if it's anonymously just let him know, it's left to him to now chose what to do
ReplyDeleteYou can send the evidence anonymously, in case your brother is already in the know it won't now be awkward. I was in a similar situation years back, she was a fiancee then but I did not hesitate to tell my brother, it bounced on my head though because the girl was diabolic, he went ahead to marry her, five years down the line they divorced and I heard my brother lamenting bitterly that I warned him but he refused to listen. Whether your brother listens or not, you owe it to him.
ReplyDeleteKeep quite.He will find out on his own.
ReplyDeleteWe all need to learn how to mind our business. It's not your place to say anything. Everything gets revealed with time.
ReplyDeleteThe way some of you throw the phrase 'mind your business' around is aggravating. He should mind his business, like his brother is not part of his business. It is not his business but it is your business, an outsider to tell him what to do about his family's business? He is the one I blame for bringing the matter here when he should be bringing update about how he has already exposed her.
DeleteIt's not his place?
Poster you better don't let anyone gaslight you or make you feel stupid for exposing everything. It is your place and no one else's to bring the matter to light.
Everything gets revealed with time? Poster, hopefully your brother doesn't suffer from an incurable disease by then.
Be careful the kind of advice you receive on this blog a lot of people give advices they would never follow .
Best comment.
Delete@ Anonymous 20.19
DeleteYou come across as quite aggressive.
Couples need the space to grow, learn, and make decisions within their marriages without unnecessary outside interference. It’s through their own experiences—both good and bad—that they truly learn and grow together.
Sharing unsolicited information or opinions about someone else’s relationship is not only intrusive, but it can also cause real harm. You don’t have to live with the consequences of the advice or judgment you’re so quick to give—they do.
Have you dealt with all the issues in your own life? If not, maybe focus there first.
That’s exactly why it’s so important to learn to mind your own business. If someone comes to you for help, then yes, offer your opinion with care. But don’t walk around like a verbal grenade, spilling everything you witness or think you know.
Words have impact, and if you’re not the one living with the aftermath, you should be even more careful about what you say.
07:23 I come across as aggressive? Oh well! You would know.
DeleteYou keep writing, "if someone else." Do you mean his blood or a stranger? You write as if you are talking about a random person who means nothing to him.
Poster, you would be very unwise to let outsiders tell you to mind your business when they should be the ones minding theirs concerning their lives. It's very demeaning and utterly rude for an outsider to boldly tell you to mind your business about your lives, because in the end it is more of your business than theirs. Their audacity, though! Well, you allowed it.
You better give us an update on how you saved your brother from an adulterous wife.
No one here is related to you or your brother, and nobody cares about the both of you. That is why most times you see nonsense advice flying everywhere. Do you think those saying "mind your business" would look the other way if they caught their sons or beloved brothers' wives in your sister's position? Not even once, imagining catching her countless times even. Very funny lots!
Words have impact but I guess actions do not, right? If the brother catches an incurable disease or he loses his life, will you be the one to live with the aftermath or the brother you are wickedly advising to ignore? A lot of you need to fear God. The way you give wicked advice and still stand by it is appalling.
What if she infection ya broda with HIV, aids, staphilococos, gonococos, syphilis, hepatitis B or c, then you go tok say Na bcoz da dota of Jezebel dey pay ya school fee. are you okay like this? TELL THY BROTHER, SOLONG AS YOU GAT THA EVIDENCE!!!!! 😡😡😡
ReplyDeleteYou dey reason say if you talk, she go stop to help your family, but wetin go happen if she give your brother disease wey no get cure? Money dey sweet, but e no fit buy back person health or life. Tell your brother, but do am with wisdom. If e pain am, na him choice wetin e wan do. No sell your conscience because of chop money - e go purge you later.
ReplyDeleteMy Prof, I no no say you dey versatile like this. See how you vomit pidgin seamlessly. Well done. And I also like that you kept it short.
DeleteIts very wrong not to speak.This woman might bring a deadly illness to your brother and you may regret not speaking up.In the sight of God, this is also wrong.
ReplyDeletePls tell your brother and also your parents.Your brother needs to speak to his wife and put his home back in order.
In some part of Nigeria,a woman who flirt with men outside her matrimonial home, brings curses on her children and her husband may likely die untimely.
Personally, I don't think the poster is finding it difficult to spill just because the family is benefitted from the lady. The truth is issues like this can be very dicey, depending on a lot of things telling the husband or the other family members can cause a lot of problems. What's to say that the husband is not aware? A lot is going on in marriages o. I'll advice the poster to look at the situation well to make a decision. Or has a lot suggested, do the spilling anonymously to the husband alone.
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough one, no lie. It looks like a moral chess game where every move has consequences, honestly. If you snitch, your family’s comfort could go up in flames - like ehn, the financial lifeline your family enjoy could snap and not recover. Then again, if you keep quiet, you’ll carry the weight of knowing your brother is living a lie - like the scent of a woman. Either way, there’s no easy escape. But ask yourself - can you comfortably sit back and watch, knowing he could get hurt, physically or emotionally?
ReplyDeleteDon’t go storming in like a hero. Play it smart. Drop the evidence anonymously and let him figure it out. If he already knows and is playing along, that’s his cross to bear. If he doesn’t, at least he has a choice. But don’t confront her; a cornered person fights dirty. And brace yourself - truth has a way of making messes before it sets things right. The lesser evil is that you get to sleep at night, knowing you didn’t trade truth for convenience or your conscience for comfort.
No matter anyone's innocence, the guilt will be on everyone who had benefitted in one way or the other, for what they thought right but didn't know rightfully.
I no support adultery
ReplyDeleteI know adultery carry death inside im pocket
But I dislike false accusation more.
So Wetin B your proof?
If you sure beyond the shadow of doubt, just drop the markers anonymously for your broda.
Let him follow the lead if he wants to.
If no B say woman adultery hard to prove.
And woman sabi defend adultery charge even when caught in the act.
I for say ...
Anyway, you know the right tin to do since.
If the food in your mouth no let you do am,
You don collect settlement. So let pipu rest.
Poster please mind your business,You won't be the one to expose her.
ReplyDeleteI feel husband and other family members know about her life style but money covers all atrocities.
ReplyDeleteYour brother probably knows. A friend of mine caught her sister in law pants down in her brothers’ hotel sleeping with their bar man in her office. She told her brother, her brother told her to mind her business that old things are passed away.
ReplyDeleteHer brother told his wife and his wife who had a very diabolical mother almost killed my friend if not for God. Someone very trustworthy told my friend that they gave her pictures to 7 native drs. It is a long story. The man is still married to his wife but for over 23 years he hasn’t spoken to his sister.
Marriage in my own view is a social construct and a difficult experiment. Every marriage is different, that is why it is advisable to leave couples alone. Let them make their mistakes and let them learn from it.
Share the proof you have with your brother anonymously. Do not tell your parents.
ReplyDeleteDo not put your brother in an uncompromising position, in case he already knows she is cheating.
Your brother might even be aware, but has chosen to keep quite because he's benefitting from it. Please keep quite
ReplyDeleteThere are very few men who don’t know when/if their wives are cheating, very very few. This is because of the way a woman body is built. Some may argue that “it doesn’t have meter” but if you hang out with men a lot, you will realise they know more than women give them credit for.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing is men have a way of telling their friends about their wives waywardness. This is because most men are rational and more objective in their ways, thus, react differently.
Do not involve yourself with your brother’s marriage. Let him sort himself out.
Poster ask yourself what you would want your brother to do if roles were reversed. God is the ultimate provider so not doing the right thing because of a morsel of bread does not end up well. Who knows if the adultery is the reason you all depend on her for money? I have been married for 34 years and have never once cheated on my husband. It is not normal. A woman who sleeps around can kill her husband. Period. Yorubas have a proverb that any married woman that sleeps around will eventually cause her husband’s death. That you are debating it means there is something diabolical going on. Do not tell only your brother, if you have conclusive evidence and are very sure, tell another family member just in case your brother has been “bottled” with jazz to not “see or hear”.
ReplyDeleteBe careful with advice from complete strangers like me. Be your brother’s keeper. Do not assume he knows. Make sure he and an older relative know. The 3rd witness is to hedge against being eliminated in case your brother is “finished”. This world is deep. Your brother & your family may start booming if the whoredom & adultery is purged from his life, who knows what the spiritual pollution of adultery caused in your family? Maybe it’s the cause of his poverty. I don’t know. Prayerfully do right by God.✌🏾