Hmmmm.......
UNDER PRESSURE TO MARRY
Dear BVs,
I am under pressure from family to marry and it really got to me over last weekend as i watched all the marriage proceedings of the actress' daughter that wed and all the noise that came with it...
Am i the only single lady that felt bad watching the wedding and wishing for a miracle? see even the Blog Miss Aboki has also married...
Since last weekend i have tried shooting my shot a few times but men of these days want to chop before any other thing and that's a risk cos once they chop, the might run and the process will repeat itself...
What do i do? what prayers do i need to say to find me a husband? why is it so easy for some and so difficult for some? It is not easy being a woman at all and sometimes i wish i can relocate far away so that i will stop getting questions and pity looks from my folks.....Imagine my mum telling me that after all i am not a virgin that i should check one of the men i have slept to see if they will marry me!!People of God i have never discussed anything like this with this woman to assume that i have had lovers! (well i have had)
How do i remain calm? Is there any man on this blog that is financially ready to marry? Or should i just look for money and move out of my parents house for my peace of mind?
lease i need advice because i am angry and confused and sad.
Hmmm!!!... Your matter strong!
Wey all the men wey you don gbensh before?If any of them is still single, please take your mums advice cos there is wisdom in it.....
Dont rush into marriage cos you will rush out of it..
If it becomes too uncomfortable, then please move out of your parents house for your peace of mind....
MOVE OUT AS SOON AS YOU CAN. Your peace of mind is important.
ReplyDeleteThis is also my take , move out dear poster. That's the only solution to your problem, peace is everything when looking for something and sometimes some of this things comes when you are not even looking or worried about them..I wish you good luck, the God that did it for Mrs Aboki will do yours sooner than later okay.
DeleteBetter take your time oh. Me i married at 32,when God said it was time,i ignored the pressure and its been 19yrs now. Peace of mind matters not mrs.
DeleteYes I seconded ,move out if you can, else your folks will drive you crazy.
DeleteWhere're the bachelors? Ready to settle this year, locate this lady
DeleteYou are still living in your parents house and marriage is your top priority.
ReplyDeleteInstead of you to focus on building your self up and getting your own money.
Having your own money before marriage is very important.
Someone that's not financially ready is looking for man that's financially ready. As if they swear for woman not to make money. If it's easy to be financially ready, you too be ready first na. its time we face reality, Nigeria currently is not easy for anyone, ladies that want to get married should start focusing on more than just finance. Everybody is struggling and your time is going. Stop deceiving yourselves, no odogwu is anywhere that will marry you. Make una wake up from una slumber..
DeleteMove out for your peace and sanity
ReplyDeleteYou have to look for money and get a place, move out of your family house for now till you are better cos the constant staying at home and your mum will continue to fire you. Do not allow anyone one to pressure you I to getting married before you make the wrong choice.
ReplyDeleteI was once on this table but mine I was staying alone, i gave my family members fire when the pressure was much and everyone stopped talking about getting married. In his own time God did it for me, I got married last month and I am very happy I got married to my husband cos I don't have any stress.
If you are desperate and all thr men know it they will never be serious with you. Fix your eyes on God and not thr situation cos if you fix it on thr situation, it will sink you but on God iteill not dink you. This is a temporary issue and God will do it for you.
Congratulations Excited courtesy. May God bless your union.
DeleteCongratulations to you.
DeleteCongratulations dear
DeletePls move out of their house and have peace.
ReplyDeleteI got married from my rented apartment. Gone are the days where a woman who lives on her own is viewed as wayward. As long as you have a meaningful source of income, no one will see you as an irresponsible lady.
Then for the eligible bachelor, check dating sites, be open to foreigners too and be careful not to fall for scammers.
How to meet a man for marriage.
ReplyDeleteJoin clubs, groups including Whatsapp groups and make meaningful contributions to discussions. Also attend any gathering like any ceremony and end of the year party of these groups and clubs.
Join full gospel business men's fellowship if you at a Christian. Mingle with people and see how it goes. Attend your colleagues or neighbors parties. Look good always and wear a smile.
All the best.
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteYou sound very dismissive and denigrating...What do you mean even Miss Aboki.....How old are you that you allow yourself to be pressured so much and acting desperate....
Check your attitude and character...Really evaluate yourself; stop the comparison...Love happens when you are not looking....
All the best
I'm just reading this and that part irked me so much!!!! You are better than miss Aboki abi? Nonsense!
Delete“see even the Blog Miss Aboki has also married...“
ReplyDeleteFor this statement alone, I doubt you have a good personality worthy.
Anyway move out. Stay on your own. Go out more. If marriage is meant for you, you will find someone.
God bless you! Very condescending lady. Do you know Mrs. Aboki poster? You better work on your dirty attitude first.
DeleteExactly what crossed my mind because what kind of statement is that ? Maybe na why she single .
DeleteIt's well dear. Just be positive and open minded. Our God will make all things beautiful in His time for you.
ReplyDeleteReading this I feel your state of mind right now, but when God up soon for you all these 👆 will be stories
ReplyDeleteMy own is sha don't be pressured into getting married. Even if you see a man that is ready for marriage, it will take some time before marriage talk will come in, you need to know about each other to a certain extent. Take it easy on yourself dear.
ReplyDeleteWhen you see wedding pictures on social media, be happy for them. It is not written that everybody must get married at the time for you to be desperate and be giving yourself unnecessary pressure or thinking that you won't get married ever again, maybe because your mates are already married., just wait for your turn.
ReplyDeleteIf the pressure from your mum is too much,then look for a means and move out but make sure that you have a Job or means of income.
Stay positive and stay guided while waiting for marriage.
My friend is either 45or 47 I don’t know exact but she’s older than me. She leaves with her parents and is unmarried.
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you a bit when husband was coming for her not 5 not 7 not 10 she had her heart tied to her dad,which is not wrong but it was detrimental to her. We could hang out as young women and she will tell you it’s almost 4pm her dad will soon be back she needs to prepare food for him and cater to him
She is the first girl,from a little age her mother always made her responsible for her dad.
You won’t believe this spirit of how will my father do,how will my father be okay if my mom is not around kept her in that house
Fast forward to many years later her dad was sick ,on his sickbed she was 24/7 by his side,after 3weeks he called her and directed her to where over 3.5m cash was in his room,that she should take it and keep it very well he will ask her for it later. Told her to bring his checkbook she brought it,he signed 7m with her name on it and asked her to keep it and pay it into her account in 2weeks
3days later he died what did this girl do…….
Hmmm chai I feel I beating this girl that time ehn
Hand Dey pain me abeg
Poster first move out you hear
Some good things won’t come as you are there
God comfort you and lead you
Make money oh
Because husband house too you need your own money
Hmmmm! What did she do?
Deletewetin she dooo? Yarn us so we learn
DeleteS#x is not love, turn to God, your God given patner is somewhere, you just need divine connection so that there will be a contact.
ReplyDeleteDon't be hard on yourself. Be thankful always 'cause may people will do anything to leave their so called marriage.
What if it's people's husband yahoo boys she's she sleeping with😹
ReplyDeleteMove out of your mother house at least to reduce the pressure and yes in life some had it smooth while some it is hard but all will arrive at their destination.Dont give me chop because many of them are born to taste even if you are good they might be playing that has never keep any man .
ReplyDeleteplease move out from that house. nobody should pressure you to get married. marriage is not compulsory but necessary. it's best marrying right at the right time. parents! some will never change. Marriage is sweet when you follow your heart
ReplyDeletein think is not all about gbenshing before marriage but knowing a serious person. i think when a lady see a serious person, you will know because women want am pass man sef. a woman will want to know if the gbola dey work before she enter the marriage
this is my own take
Just be okay financially, because money in marriage is very important
ReplyDeleteIf you are financially stable, I guess you need to move out of your parent's house; at least you should or you are an adult from your tone. Then focus on you. Grow yourself, academically, financially. Lastly, go to God in midnight prayers. Come back and give your testimony and sow me a seed...😍
ReplyDeleteGet financially empowered first. Getting married is not solution to real life's issues. 🤗🙏🏿
ReplyDeleteYour own money is important.
ReplyDelete"see even the blog miss Aboki has also married"
ReplyDeleteUsing me as an example in this context is derogatory pls. Deal with your issues and leave my name out of it.
Don’t mind the silly poster she would come back and tell you it’s harmless which kind even miss aboki very demeaning remark like say you no reach to marry or she better pass you .
Delete😂😂😂 I picked my jaws from the ground when I read that statement... So miss aboki wasn't supposed to get married? Abi she isn't worth marrying??
DeleteMiss Aboki it’s human nature to downgrade those they feel they are better than except God or home training
DeletePeople who don’t know you physically can have a mental picture of you by what you type here and what you consistently defend
Rather than anger,learn
Work on your mode ,tone and general communication output
Nobody on this blog will say even ———/—because of the way they carry themselves here
Carry yourself better.
God bless your marriage
Add value to your life. Modern Nigerian man is being strategic in choosing wife. You didn't state of you have stable source of income.
ReplyDeleteEven living in your parents house,add value and make things happen.
Advice your mum to always pray for you.
Psalm 126 verse 1
ReplyDeleteWhen the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream...
May The Lord God Almighty Grant You Your Most Special Heart Desires 🙏🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏
Hello iya Boys
Don't mind those advising you to move out of parents house most men respect a woman that lives in her parents house before marriage.
ReplyDeleteWhat you need now is to keep building your career, make more money, and don't show off, eventually the right man will come for your hand marriage.
Ignore this person with backward thinking
DeleteMost men? How did you get this figure? You mean most men in the olden days? Cos the last time I checked many girls get pregnant out of wedlock while still living with their parents. Living with parents doesn't portray decency.
DeleteI and my sisters got married while living alone and paying our own rent.
A girl should just get a good source of income and be responsible, husband will come if she is destined to get married.
DESPERADO!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePoster you are not fair to yourself.if you continue like this,I tell you, it might take forever to find a spouse.
ReplyDeleteDo you know we have ministering angels who constantly listen to the words of men? Even what we write on blogs are noticed by them and that's why sometimes,I pity those who troll or intentionally cause another pain.
Whenever things are going wrong pls constantly learn to keep professing positive words and calling those things you so desire to yourself(that's faith)not too long, that which you desire will manifest.
Life is spiritual and it's a combination of alot in the atmosphere.i.e air is a mixture of gases,so also the universe is a mixture of good and evil and they often come to man as a result of spoken words or evil imagination of man.
Even if the Devil brings it to you to test your faith, what you do,is to reject it and declare that which you want.
Take good care of yourself and hang around in godly environment.The right spouse will find you.God will definitely bring him to you because you left the battle in his hands.
Tell your mom you will get married soon.just like Hannah in the book of Samuel,she went to God in prayers when she was tired of being called barren.
Go to God in prayers and remind him of his words, you will not be single and your will carry your kids,if only you have faith as little as a mustard seed.
Dear poster build yourself, make your own money, men will come for you. Some want a wife that is financially stable
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't know they see her they are just not coming for her because she doesn't seem to have it together. Besides the way she describes miss aboki seems insulting. Poster may need to work on her character too
DeleteIt's not some, 99.8 percent of men want women that are financially stable, both the ones that are financially stable or not, the first thing most of them ask you is "what do you do for a living?"
DeletePoster, God will grant you your heart desires and you will never live your life alone without a good husband.
Poster that's life for you. Some have it smooth and easy. Some get it hard. Just hang unto God and pray for yours to come
ReplyDeleteIt's human to feel left behind sometimes when others are achieving a milestone, but it is unwise to let it morph into bitterness and compare because "Comparison is the thief of joy." So when you feel moody seeing others achieving what you also desire, quickly snap out of it.
ReplyDeleteYou see, the issue with comparing your life to others is that you fixate only on the positive aspects of other people's lives. You unwisely compare while ignoring the struggles and challenges they may have encountered along the way, as well as the daunting journey God made the individual go through to get to where you see them today. Meanwhile, there are other blessings you have had easily in life that these same people may be lacking.
You talked about a blog visitor getting married, but you don't know her story or what storms God has made her pass through in life to be where you see her today. Storms that you may not have survived if God allowed you to be in her shoes, because the truth is, success stories don't just happen.
You don't know the sacrifices they have made, the sweat, their labor that finally led them to their blessings; you only see the beautiful result God allowed. Therefore, learn to embrace your own journey while being genuinely happy for others. You said "even" while describing her, but for all you know, she may be older than you and felt the same uncertainty you are presently feeling at some point in her life before she got her blessings. You should be inspired not angry because, honestly, you sounded condescending.
You see people getting married, and you swiftly focus on the larger picture, ignoring the fact that there are likely some complexities at some point in their relationships that, if you were in their shoes, you would never have had the understanding or patience to successfully navigate, because of your personality, reasoning, adopted way of life, or pet peeves. These are some reasons you believe it is easy for some and think it is difficult for others.
I also see how you talk about the actress's daughter who recently got married, but you failed to acknowledge that there were ladies old enough to be her aunts who happily graced her wedding yet were "very" single. There are lots of single men and women on earth- if it's any consolation - and God will settle everyone in His own time.
You are asking if there are financially stable men on the blog, but you don't seem like someone who has her finances in order; else, you would have moved out of your parents' home ages ago to avoid their incessant prodding.
The advice I would give you is to get the hunger for marriage out of your system first and try to focus on how to improve other aspects of your life. Build yourself up and think of practical ways to excel in life and be a better version of who you are presently. In the process of working on your personal growth, when you are preoccupied with bettering your life and embracing emotional wellness, and you have the clarity of mind to know that it is not about getting married but actually staying married, that is when the one for you will appear, because it happens when you aren't even thinking about it.
Nice advice so far..May God bless you for this imput
Delete🙌 .
May God bless you for this imput 🙏
DeleteUna dey dey waste una time dey advise person wey no get sense!!!!
ReplyDeleteShe’s very senseless and envious. How can good come to her when she thinks herself better than others she doesn’t even know. Nonsense bitter woman.
DeletePoster firstly, regardless of your age, as a matter of fact remove age from this and focus your mind on doing something and succeeding... Build your life and take care of yourself removing your mind completely on finding a man to marry you.
ReplyDeleteBe very focused on what you do because it's while you are busy that a man will find you.
They no longer marry broke women.
Make money, exercise and drink plenty of water That way you will be beautiful and attractive.
'they no longer marry broke women'
DeleteThey never did. It is just that Women are just realizing it now.
Is not easy my dear especially if you're not contributing meaningfully in your family house , the pressure will be more and intense. You just have to move out from your parent sight firstly even if you don't have money to rent, most work places offer accomodations and you can just have a place where you can have peace till you equip yourself. Lastly pray without seasoning, is only God that gives good men as husband..... You can be desperate and devil will package his co tenant to you and that will be worst and you will regret ever thinking of marriage. Knock at heavens gate continuously
ReplyDeleteNever compare yourself to anyone, everyone have their race to run.
ReplyDeleteAnd stop judging someone because you know nothing about them.
You seem like one who compares self to others, in all life endeavours - which is an unnecessary mental burden. To each, their life journey. As for your post, you seem trapped in a house built on the opinions of others, suffocating your own destiny by others' timelines - by letting fear drive the car of your life.
ReplyDeleteOne of the understandings you should have as an adult is that marriage is not a race where the first to cross the line wins a trophy; it’s a lifelong journey that needs a strong engine, not borrowed tyres. Neither is it a trophy grabbed by desperation, but a lifetime journey best entered with a clear mind and near full pockets - you don’t fix loneliness with a wedding band.
Move out if you must - your peace is the soil where better things will grow. Build your own life first; money, peace, identity - because begging life for crumbs only invites vultures. A whole tree attracts better birds than a desperate branch. You don't pray a good spouse into existence; you become a partner a good spouse cannot ignore - then pray.
Relocate emotionally before physically. Anger is your soul’s way of screaming, "Choose yourself first!" Love blooms for those whose hands are too busy building to beg. Desperation smells louder than perfume, and good men can sniff it from a mile away. Dust off pity, wear your self-worth like armour, and let the right miracle meet you working, not whining. Sip easy; the right one will come to your garden when it is destined - prepare and be ready, like a well-cultivated land awaiting its harvest.
This is sadly the case with a lot of women these days. Just be yourself. The right person will come along. All the best
ReplyDeletePoster, I think you’re superficial and vain because I don’t see why the wedding of Iyabo’s daughter should make you feel a certain way when you don’t know her struggles or how the marriage will pan out though I wish her well. Then condescendingly describing miss aboki. Please work on your character, your finance and your mindset. You’re not ready to marry with the way you described your situation cos you desire marriage for the wrong reasons.
ReplyDeleteNigerian ladies and marriage, as if marriage is a yardstick for measuring success. Here you are looking for a financially stable man in the blog so he’ll fund your extravagant dream wedding to pepper the world when you’re not financially buoyant yourself. Poster, please focus on making money, then move out of your parents house, build your character cos you seem vain and condescending. When you find the man, please do a small wedding that you can afford. The success of the marriage is more important that the pomp and pageant or cost of the wedding.
ReplyDelete