Hmmmmm....
ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Please someone should advice on how to cope or come out from an abusive relationship
It has been going on since 4 years. Not married yet but we have 2 kids and live together.
It has been going on since 4 years. Not married yet but we have 2 kids and live together.
She said she no send marriage The oldest child will be four soon. She has been verbally and physically abusive. She will not let me go. She wants me to take anything she gives me. She will pretend outside like a good woman but inside house she is a devil. She is manipulative and wants to control my Life
Just yesterday, she stoned me with a strong iron spoon because I couldn't do what she wants me to do. I came back tired from work and I needed to rest. Out of anger, I threw a blow and she brought out a knife. I am not like this but she's turning me to a beast
I intend calling the police so she can sign an undertaking not to disturb me again or tell them that she should let me go so we don't kill ourselves one day..
Just yesterday, she stoned me with a strong iron spoon because I couldn't do what she wants me to do. I came back tired from work and I needed to rest. Out of anger, I threw a blow and she brought out a knife. I am not like this but she's turning me to a beast
I intend calling the police so she can sign an undertaking not to disturb me again or tell them that she should let me go so we don't kill ourselves one day..
This does not sound good at all....She does not need to sign any undertaking at all...Since there are kids involved, you dont need to ask her to leave. PLEASE PACK YOUR BAGS AND GO before blood is spilled.....She can attack you while sleeping or you can both start fighting and kill each other.....Its too toxic and its time to call it quits......RUN and leave to live...
You don't need advise on how to cope, you need to leave.
ReplyDeleteJust leave the house dor her. If you can cope with the children, take them along. Start looking for a place to rent and furnish it without her knowledge.
DeleteAsk her what she want. If she doesn't want marriage, let her go but please cater for your kids o.
DeleteYou started on a wrong side, why bringing kids when you are not ready for marriage?
DeleteOga you sef no try.
Na man type this thing?
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmm! Guy please leave in peace now before you will rest in peace.
Be taking care of the kids from afar.
DOZZYBEST.
Dear Poster, I am sorry what you are going through but you sound like you don't want to leave that situationship that might cost your life...how long are you going to endure that abuse...
ReplyDeleteYou deserve better; rather than undertaking why not file a restraining order and get a lawyer where you can share sole or joint custody whichever works....
You deserve better...Move out now and live better...
All the best
You guys are not even married. Do take a long walk. After sorting yourself. Make arrangements for the upkeep of the kids. Toxic relationship is deadly. ๐๐๐
ReplyDeleteIn addition, while you bring your financial support, please make sure your kids sees you when you are offering them financial support so their mum won't brainwash them tomorrow that you don't contribute to their upkeep.
DeleteI'm hoping you ran so fast, you sent in this post from where you are hiding ๐๐ฏ
ReplyDeleteShe is being reactive. She has two kids and she is now a baby mama of two. Which means in her eyes her chances of having other men interested in her for something serious is very slim hence her not letting you leave.
ReplyDeleteI doubt she was like this before, else, you wouldn't have kept sleeping with her till she gave you not one but two children outside wedlock.
You claim she said she doesn't send marriage but did you propose to her at all and she turned it down or you are hiding under that comment using it as an excuse not to marry her? Because if someone doesn't want marriage and you do, you would not wait around for them if that's what you are looking for instead you would leave them and go and marry someone else and not keep impregnating them and having never-ending sex with them without protection.
Most ladies who say they don't want marriage sometimes do it as a form of coping mechanism when they see that the man isn't forthcoming. I feel there is a lot you didn't write. I wished you had mentioned two or three things she asked you to do which you didn't that pushed her to react. But you purposely didn't reveal what those things were but instead redirected our attention to focus on her reactions.
Even though I won't deny she is hot tempered and violent but you, oga, What are you doing exactly or didn't do?
Poster pls ignore this comment
DeleteThere’s no justification for violence. Reactive or not.
Don’t ever dream of marrying that woman. It won’t change anything.
Leave to live.
Leave and move very far from her and get a lawyer to strike a deal on custody of your children.
Look at this epistle just because you want to make excuses for a manipulative and toxic co gender. Men have really seen it from you guys because they don’t usually talk.
DeleteYvonne Shebi you didn’t see where he threw the blow first?. So she shouldn’t defend herself abi?. Always looking for an opportunity to run women down…
DeleteDid you also read where she threw something at him?until men die in your hands they will always be in the wrong
Delete15:46You are the the manipulative and toxic one.
DeleteThe other comment telling him to leave are they not from women? But still you aren't satisfied. This is why I make comments without sending you and your kinds on this blog. Even the ones who wrote what you wanted to read today, if tomorrow they have a different opinion you don't like or agree with, you would trun around and be biased towards them. Talking about "you guys", despite the other women supporting the poster but no it is my comment you will perch on as an excuse to keep insulting other women.
She threw an iron spoon first anon, Yes there is no excuse for violence but poster needs to stop painting himself like a helpless person whose legs are tied. He isn't planning to marry yet he won't leave but he won't use a condom and they keep making babies and may have even aborted in between the two kids.
If you marry this lady, you will give her the ammunition to end you easily and quickly. Better receive sense, if not see you see death or imprisonment.
Delete15:15
DeleteHe 8s himself.
She 8s him.
You salted it with your man8.
Other women comments cannot remove your excess salt of man8 in your comment.
As the trite saying goes, you go explain taya.
#Yinmu
@15:57 in your haste to run men down, you turrned blind to the part where she threw an iron spoon at him, before he threw a blow in return out of anger. So he should not defend himself?
DeleteWho is explaining to you. I don't even rate you... someone that can't comprend a simple comment. Leave other women alone and focus on my comment alone, after all they are all saying what you were expecting to hear. What do you mean by, you guys? when you were addressing me alone? Why throw a jab at all the female gender despite their supportive comments to your gender? That's my point but it must go over your head.
DeleteAnonymous 15:15..I love you for that comment up there...
DeleteI am a woman, but kindly, ignore 15:15 comment. Don't go into marriage with her. Leave the long epistle alone. It is now toxic, from either or both parties. Plan and leave quietly, but stay in touch with your children through wisdom. You wouldn't want to be unfortunate, especially in your vulnerable moments... Probably when you're sleep etc
DeleteTurn you into a beast? Which beast? Oga you're a weakling! Your own woman treats you like a douchebag, no single respect. How did you degenerate to this level? You are scared of her? Is she feeding you? Since she no send marriage, dude! Be a man and kick out that beech! Let her take her children along! Stop raw dogging her and MAN THE F*CK UP!
ReplyDeleteAre you abroad? If you are, pls document the abuse if you don’t already have evidence and call the police, file a restraining or protective order against her afterwards. Good thing is you’re not married but be ready to pay child support and be lucky that it’s the only price you will pay for your peace.
ReplyDeleteTrouble loading, please run. This relationship is no longer healthy,this is toxic. Please run but make sure you're sending upkeep for the kids.
ReplyDeleteThe relationship is too volatile and it is not a healthy environment for the children to be growing up in. Please just leave. I know times are hard and supporting two households seem like a great burden, but there is no price too high for your peace of mind. Go with God and He will make a way out of no way. Do not stay there until your household become a statistic or even worst, end up on the national news.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean by,"let you go"? Are you locked in the house or what? Bros, abeg pack ur bags and leave before you become a statistic.
ReplyDeleteOga but why did you throw a blow? You forgot to tell us where it landed and where the blow landed her
ReplyDeleteMove on and stay away from her if she is all you described and then be sending money from afar
She threw an iron spoon at him, then he threw a blow
DeleteWhen you treat a woman like a queen she will reciprocate it in return treat you as her king,even mad people don't react until one looks for their troubles.poster it's a pity thing are going that way and I'm sorry for that,was that woman like that when you guys started dating? for peace why not move out?
ReplyDeleteWhat happens to when you treat the man like a king first. Some of you don’t know some women are evil just like the men you accuse daily. I have seen a lot, even a child came to me today to narrate the wickedness of her mum including the Aunt she stays with. Let’s keep deceiving ourselves, you only here complains when it affects us, if not men take the blame as usual.
DeleteYou are still thinking of calling the police? Na u til then kee you? Walk away now!!!
ReplyDeleteYou threw a blow and you expected her not to get her weapon
ReplyDeleteCan her blow match yours
You better go apologize for your bad behavior and stop looking for support outside
Poster You Threw " A Blow" because You were Angry and She Pulled out a Knife or is it Threw An iron spoon @ You because she was Equally Angry.
ReplyDeleteYou both are Reactive People!!!
You both need to Leave each Other...
Domestic Violence is involved...
People saying he threw a blow first,was it necessary for her to react with a KNIFE? A KNIFE !
ReplyDeletePlease, give her a long space for now. Whatever happened to blow for blow? Men are going through a lot but they endure.
On the other hand,Oga after having 2 children together what are your plans for her? She doesn't care about marriage, what about you? I hope and pray this doesn't get very complicated. Best of luck.
Yes China.
DeleteHe Threw a Blow, he started the DV 1st.
What if she has Collapsed and Died?
Where did his blow hit her.
I Hate Violence.
They should both Leave Each other.
They are both reactive people, They will kill each other 1 day.
Do you know that same blow can send her to mortuary? So why are you judging her because she brought out a knife.. she gats defend herself
DeleteYou can't beat a child and tell it how to cry
DeleteOga,
ReplyDeleteIsn't the abuse too much for you to leave? Is it when she stab you to dead you'll leave in casket?
I believe the red flags were glaring enough but you held unto this point. I don't waste time to leave once I discover a huge red flag. Pls leave now before it's too late. She's a wicked woman and an evil one too.
© TEEJAY
Make una dey send in full chronicles.
ReplyDeleteUnless you both are abroad living on the charity of the children welfare, or you the Poster is indebted somehow to the woman, or she is indebted to you in a bizarre way for benefit in your home country, this chronicle has no head. It is just the tail of the tale.
Why would two adults want to live under the narrated conditions.
By the way, I am a man.
Thank God you are a man! E reach to tell them your gender before they will say you are man-hating. I said it the story isn't complete. If the woman should send her own version, most people will change mouth.
DeleteSomeone is already bringing out knife and you’re there asking silly question.
ReplyDeleteWhich one is ‘how do they leave abusive relationship’? What do you want to hear? Are you a baby? How did you enter it? Wait there let us rent Elon Musk rocket and come and carry you out. Or perhaps when one of you knifes the other, we call Ndi Apams to come carry you with a hearse.
Perhaps the pussy is bomb and thats what is keeping you there because you have not said what else it is. Some of you men love dysfunction as long as it is attached to sugar pussy
Pack out and be sending upkeep for the kids.
ReplyDeleteYou two are not good together. You are not married. Pks have a temporary separation and decide if you really want to be together.
ReplyDeleteBy the way it is not by force. You have traumatised the children enough. Pls give them a break by going your separate ways. Otherwise, your children will grow up to be worse.
One question???
Must you be together?
Both of you need therapy.
Why did she get angry you don't do what she says. Are you owing her or indebted to her in one way or the other? Did you both sign an agreement and you refuse to uphold your own side of the bargain? You are not married to her so you are not tied down under law martially so why can't you leave her and you keep impregnating her despite her bad character? Is she the one that gave you the job?
ReplyDeleteThe guy gave us incomplete narration. Very obvious
DeleteShe was angry because she takes care of kids all day and wants help when he gets home
DeleteNot saying that’s right
Just that does piss off people
We ought to realize Satan is a spirit.He moves around the earth, dwelling in the lives of men who constantly live in sin.There's increase in divorce/separation today, why? Because the devil has refused to leave marriages alone.He knows the blessings attach to marriages.(Proverb 18:22)
ReplyDeleteGod himself, ordained marriages and instructed man to live with a woman,someone whom he could share everything with.someone who will be by his side to help when he's about to fall.But the devil knows the only way he can destroy a man/woman is by making them get married to the wrong partners.Mr A might be good for you but not compatible with another, that's why we must pray and get directions from the holy spirit before taking that decision.
This is a very big problem and it should be treated urgently.At this stage, there's should be a separation.
Co-parent from a distance abeg.
ReplyDeleteDo mot marry that witch poster, pick your things and leave osiso, run for your life if not she may send you to the great beyond or seriously maim you
ReplyDeleteDon't just leave, please do a formal reporting with the appropriate authorities. She seems like someone who would hunt you down.
ReplyDeletePlease make a move ASAP
you should report her to the police before you pick your things one day that she is not around and leave that home. This woman will end your life someday, you better walk away before is too late to do so.
ReplyDelete