SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED
Bvs help me pls, I'm confused
I am married with a child. My husband is doing business, I'm also into buying and selling and I'm an upcoming fashion designer too, still sewing at home, no shop yet.
However, I only have an OND certificate and I'm 42. I feel sad sometimes, I'm not fulfilled in life and I feel I can still be what I want to be in life, I had a dream of schooling and getting a Masters, PhD and moving high up the corporate ladder cos I was a very brilliant child but death of my father made me to struggle and stop at OND. I worked in private companies before getting married and now into business. I couldn't go back to school because of funds and my baby, hubby was struggling too. We are better off now as we pay bills more easily.
I love sewing though but would want it as a side business.
Now I recently have this emptiness in me and would want to go back to school.
Another thing that got me thinking was the recent civil service commission recruitment where they said only Degree holders and HND holders of less than 50 yrs can apply. It gave me hope. I also feel an opportunity can come my way tomorrow and my qualification may hinder me cos everyone in my family knows I'm brilliant with a good carriage and articulate in English language and they have been encouraging me to go back to school.
Our child will leave secondary school in two years time and we will start processing higher institution.
Should I go for HND full time and see if I can upgrade after that since it is less than 2yrs to finish it? Or should I go for distance learning program in a renowned university which takes 5yrs but I will get a degree? I have people who did it and used it to get promoted at work.
I have discussed with hubby but he said he wants me to continue my studies abroad. He said there are schools in Europe where I can get scholarship and pay small school fees for programs like 6months or 1 year course to upgrade my tailoring skills or any other skill and then move on to a normal degree, I would be able to work while schooling too, according to him..
He said I should go online and search for such schools.
I'm not buying his idea because it doesn't sound realistic.
I'm not buying his idea because it doesn't sound realistic.
I dont understand what your hubby means with what he advised you to do, Maybe someone else will understand......Or he doesnt want you to do it?
You can use your OND and apply for Direct Entry in any university, you will then do a 3 yr course instead of a 4 yr. Since it will boost your confidence, then do it. Good luck too.
ReplyDeleteNa money dey course all these things. ELROI help us
DeleteYour husband's ideas is very good. He wants you empowered in your skills,which is more reasonable than chasing a dream career.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he wants you to study nursing abroad and relocate the family
ReplyDeleteAunty, why not just go and make your research like he asked you to and confirm?
ReplyDeleteYour husband is a good one to have indicated interest and suggested a better option.
If the abroad idea isn't feasible, I think you should go for the HND first before doing the degree. That will give you the advantage to grqb an opportunity if one presents itself.
Who knows, after HND, you might get an opportunity to also leave the country for further studies like you desire.
All the best
Some schools in Europe provide low tuition for people in poor countries but you must provide proof of funds. This is money (millions of naira) that you will deposit in a special bank account as proof that you can pay for your feeding and accommodation.
ReplyDeleteSome countries don't allow students to work to earn money, others do. Studying in Europe isn't easy. Don't let anyone deceive you that it is.
Have you heard about National Open University (NOUN)? Every state has a NOUN center. Make an enquiry about the one in your state. You can run your business, study at home and get your degree with NOUN. Two friends of mine bagged degrees in Accounting and Nursing whilst working and studying with the National Open University. This is the surest path for you. Don't go to any Europe if you don't have lots of money.
I support this advice 👍
DeleteI was thinking of NOUN too.
DeleteApply for direct entry with your ond
ReplyDeleteThis your hubby's abroad thing doesn't look feasible to me with this your OND, I must confess. You didnt state your course of study let's know how to advise you better. I suggest you go for your HND, that will put in a better position for any job you want to apply for, then when you get the job you can either process your hubby's Europe dream school, or you further your education in line with your new job probably via certification or a part time degree. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHello Poster,
ReplyDeleteYou're 42, you've got a business, an emerging fashion career, family commitments, and combat the spectre of an unrealized intellectual ambition. Let's be real here: You are not a failure - no right-thinking person will accuse you of such. Your life didn't veer out of control - it took a different course, and you now find yourself standing at an intersection from that detour, distracted and confused by what you should be starving and not be feeding.
Your desire to return to school is one with which everyone can sympathize, but you have to define what exactly you're after - personal fulfilment, employment security, or societal sanction. You seemed somewhat confused about the validation you seek. Sometimes when life throws us lemons, it also equips us with tools to make lemonade out of it. We often don't search deep enough - you are having trouble reconciling introspectively with retrospect.
Please, I encourage you to lay the guilt to rest. You were a child prodigy? You are one now. Life got in the way, but here you are, still tough and driven. If you search wide, you will find a few people somewhere wishing they could have the this you have now. And that's a win. Don’t you think so?
Now, let's talk about possibilities. The recent decision by the Civil Service Commission upset you, but come on: Government jobs are not the holy grail. Even if you get a degree tomorrow, are you going to quit everything to take a desk job in your forties? Or is this something else, like showing yourself and others you were correct? Tell the truth.
Is HND full-time? Yes, it's a faster route, but it's two years of time and money outlay. Same as OND for Direct Entry, a 3-year program mostly. Are you going to put your business on hold for it? Full-time learning demands rigidity. Distance learning or Open University? Five years is a long time, but if you want a degree that badly and are certain you are going to use it, it's a good idea - especially considering that you have examples of people making money from it. Sounds more like a peer-validation syndrome.
Now, what about your husband's proposal? He's right, but dreaming big. Being abroad is possible, but don't romanticize it. It's not the fairy door to instant success people often imagine it as, but it comes good in the long-term with its culture of work demands different from what you are used to. And scholarships don't drop from above. Have you researched actual schools that offer such part-time or short courses? If not, that's another homework. If your husband is serious about your growth, he should be prepared to aid your research and not just parrot peripheral general propositions.
Later, what's your get-out plan? Your number one homework is deciding what you want - remember that the dynamics of 'family' now have a bearing on what that decision will be. Because you need to make decisions based on the end game? If what you want is financial security, expanding your fashion enterprise may enjoy faster returns than going for a degree at this point - because that's your primary passion. If intellectual fulfilment is it, get serious with schedules and commitments. Select a path that works for your end game, not a response to a job posting opportunity. Or peer validations.
Personally, the move I'd suggest to myself is to locate solid distance education programs and part-time ones near you (like NOUN) or anywhere in the world. Prioritize what will lead to realistic growth and liberty. Don't get a degree to prove something - get it if it actually will help you move on to the next phase. Commit, choose, and stop doubting yourself. You're not lost - you're just restarting. And every successful people you admire, go through these processes time after time to meet either their short-term or long-term goals. What's your end-game goal?
Poster, I know that feeling and it really is just the lack of accomplishment and unfinished business in life, it’s a gaping hole a void that needs to be filled.
ReplyDeleteI do not as a rule tell mature students to commit to any full-time studies that will take five years. Many ppl who have been out of school for a long time find it hard to commit to such a long program and anything can happen in life in five years. I prefer for mature students to do 2-3 year programs. The sense of accomplishment will then spur them on to further their studies if they want more. Do it in pieces and you have a better chance at completing it. Five years is a long commitment to wait for one credential if it is not a professional course like medicine or engineering. You could finish a 3 year degree and complete a Masters in the same five years. When you are older you don’t have time to play with. Think strategically and speak with student advisors who can provide guidance on the most strategic way to accomplish your goals. Also look into NOUN, you can go to school part-time if you need to work while schooling, and it is an accredited institution. Not overly competitive and can get you to where you need to go.
I am not going to tell you not to go the Europe route because it is an option. But the anti immigration sentiments and the high cost of living there may present challenges that you were not prepared for. Also consider your ability to learn a new language. Even if the program is delivered in English, you will still need to learn the local language to go about day to day life. But only you know yourself and it is worth looking into. Some schools offer good scholarships and bursaries and tops ups. It could work. But you need to do extensive research and make sure the country you are going to is friendly to immigrants.
sis I understand exactly how you feel. I worked down that road too . I went back to at 37, with direct entry, started at 200l and graduated few months before 40. you can use your ND and start from 200l and in less than three years you'll be a graduate! all the best. I'm rooting for you girl.
ReplyDeleteI love the fact that your husband is helping you pursue your dreams. One thing about us Nigerians is that we don't like reading. What your husband said is the absolute truth .just find the time to look these things up, I'm sure you'd be able to come up with something. All the best
ReplyDeleteMe I would do the research and come
ReplyDeleteYou might be shocked
If your husband is like many Nigerian husbands, he probably has money you know not about
Rooting for you too
ReplyDeleteNdi abroad, no time to read, stress of doing multiple jobs, the children? Guy man no want make u go school. Register with NOUN and follow your dreams
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud. Does your husband have schooling abroad money?
ReplyDeleteThere are scholarships in the EU but not for OND holders.
I ll go with your idea.
Do as your husband has said abd bring up your research so test he can assist you on all aspect. Remember if you both don't agree on anything, you will not enjoy that path upi choose.
ReplyDeleteGood morning all,
ReplyDeletePlease is YouTube no longer allowing us to download videos using other apps like 'safe from net' and 'Vidmate'? They keep telling me "not supported "