Hmmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SERIOUS SITUATION
A close friend confided in me about a distressing situation involving her stepson, a teenager who attends school from home. He has a history of s#xual misconduct, dating back to preschool, and has molested neighboring children. The boy started living with them at preschool age when she married his father. She later gave birth to twin boys, now 7, and subsequently two girls, aged 2 and 3.5.
Recently, my friend discovered that her stepson had assaulted her two young daughters. The 3.5-year-old revealed the abuse after resisting a bath, and medical exams by first a paediatrician and then, two gynaecologists in the same hospital, confirmed the assault. The younger daughter was also found to have been abused, although her h#men remains intact but weak according to the medical report.
The hospital wanted to involve the welfare department, but she pleaded to handle it within the family, revealing that the perpetrator is her stepson. This incident occurred while she was cooking and stepson with the children were watching cartoon in the sitting room. Given the stepson's history of s#xual molestation, she had ensured her work schedule aligned with the children's school hours, doing the school run herself. All the children, including the stepson, attend the same school but he is secondary part of that same school.
My friend wants to protect her daughters but is hesitant to allow her family to mediate, fearing it could escalate the situation, lead to divorce, and potentially put her children in harm's way if shared custody is granted. Her husband, aware of the situation, has not taken action. She suggested he enroll the stepson in a boarding school and only visit until the younger daughter turns 12 and can defend herself or report incidents.
For those that will ask the stepson's mother left the boy when their marriage packed up years before my friends involvement.
It was even after their introduction that he told her that he has a stepson and was previously married.This would have brought dissolution, but I don't want to believe he jazzed her. She was not heeding any advice at that time, she was just in her mid- twenties and earning well at her place of work. I believe either she was jazzed or after what people will say that her marriage crashed after introduction without knowing the full story, so, I guessed that's why she stayed.
Considering the circumstances, I want to advise my friend to find a temporary, separate living arrangement for herself and her children, including the twins, as the stepson's behavior s#xualizes everything. This would allow them to stay in the same area while maintaining a safe distance from the stepson. The husband seems unwilling to take action.
He only said he will tie the stepson's spiritually, which does not hold water.
P.S. The husband's fetish practices are not the primary concern, as the woman has intensified her prayer life since discovering this.
What are BVS thoughts on this situation, and please, drop your suggestions on how my friend can best protect her daughters?
Legal practitioners in the house , She needs legal advice too.
Thank you all.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!! he will tie his son spiritually? Your friend may be acting under the influence of Jazz because who will even spend a minite longer in that house after experiencing something like this? She does not want divorce? she dey crase.....If it is me, i will scream out until everybody hears what has happened...I have no advice for a woman who does know the right thing to do to protect her child but chooses to stay.....she will regret it!!!!....................i am so angry that i am adding E slap for her not taking action immediately...
She wants to protect her marriage at the expense of her children’s well being? SMH. No advice from this platform would make any difference to your friend.
ReplyDeleteThe woman has a point, if she leaves and they have equal custody. She won't be present when the gals visit and this guy will easily defile those kids. Nigeria has no law against these issues. If she is abroad, she will get full custody
DeleteThat's why she needs to report to the authorities.
DeleteHe won't see those children outside her house and the boy will not come close.
What is wrong with her sef? Your children over a fetish man? Tufiakwa. I hope the jazz falls off her eyes before it's too late.
Did she even ask around about the ex wife and what might have happened? God abeg o
"Nigeria has no law against these issues" @17:53 is very incorrect or, bluntly put, false.
DeleteThe Nigerian Law (the Matrimonial Causes Act) says that the welfare of children is the paramount consideration in deciding custody matters.
This provision is an umbrella provision. It is the same foundational principle found in all so called "better" foreign laws often referred to by some of us.
What favours the welfare of the children in this post? Joint custody for the boy to continue to life with the girls without even their mother's presence?
Please let us all advocate with/on facts and on knowledge of the law where the latter is necessary. Life is not a battle between men and women or the human male and female. It is a battle between good and bad/evil
#theLegalTrainee
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Ikunle abiyamo ooooooðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜. Stella use Ai to generate thicker palms for the slap
ReplyDeleteDivorce, is the answer here! And that evil child should be reported to the authorities...he should be placed in care! Protect your children madam, sexual abuse at a tender age is quite traumatic and has an effect later in life!
ReplyDeleteHmm Poster, Most times people that don't want to make hard decision always choose their lazy path of spiritualizing everything....I don't dispute the fact there are spiritual forces.....
ReplyDeleteShe has two young daughters whom she should stand up for but she would rather do everything to protect her stepson's sexual assault....Please ask her how long she will keep protecting him while he is destroying lives of her own children & other kids.....
He is just in secondary school and you want to worsen the situation by taking him to a boarding school to spoil other people's life....Tell her to get the children out of that marriage and demand a divorce; is she sick in the head? The molestation is enough evidence to dissolve the marriage (let her hire a lawyer)
If he is in Lagos, there are juvenile correctional centres to enroll him to stop this perverted character ; he must be addicted to porno....
God forbid
All the best
I’m still confused why she didn’t let the welfare department get involved?. Simp of a woman. Tufiakwa. I spit
ReplyDeleteSo there are simps
DeleteOr Women only do not like the word when used for men?
Lol
Typical African wife behavior they'll rather die than leave rubbish marriage and it's for their own selfish reason o nothing else. Let her stay and be asking stupid questions. A woman does not seek advice if she's made up her mind to do anything. Goodluck to the kids that don't deserve rubbish parents.
ReplyDeleteNo advice for the woman, I wonder why a child with a history of sexual misconduct at preschool age was not help as at that time,
ReplyDeletePoster pls tell your friend to prevail on her husband to send the boy to juvenile home, let them discipline him there. Pls research about juvenile homes, it is not a prison. He can learn a skill there too. Look for one in your location and make enquiry
ReplyDeleteIs a delicate issue but the earlier they find solution to these issues the better ,I mean what happened to the twins and the problem of the boy .She should just keep her children out of harm way .
ReplyDeleteSo wait, she'd rather remain married than deal with her stepson that molested her 2kids.
ReplyDeleteSexual abuse and molestation should not be tolerated lightly. The children will not forgive their mother if she doesn't do anything to protect them now. It will obviously happen again, and may lead to something serious(teenage pregnancy) Act now and protect your daughters; they shouldn't be in the same environment as your stepson.
ReplyDeletePoster do everything you can to separate your children from your stepson, he will not stop. Don't allow him to ruin your children.
ReplyDeleteNo divorce advice here with a woman like that she would never go for any divorce
ReplyDeleteWait, she’s choosing her marriage over the wellbeing of her kids????? If her husband won’t take action, she should pack her things and her kids and move far away from that boy.
ReplyDeleteI won’t be surprised if the stepson too was molested as a child. They need to seek therapy fast before he will do the one that he will now forever regret!
Maybe the father did it and blamed the son
ReplyDeleteYou are a man 8ta
DeleteUseless mother 😠😠ðŸ˜
ReplyDeleteNo words
ReplyDeleteNo words at all
So she rather stay married and living in that environment than to protect her kids? Then it's not ordinary..
ReplyDeleteShe should involve any person she have to involve just to protect her kids..
The kind of things some people cover and endure all because they want to bear Mrs somebody is frightening
ReplyDeleteYour husband is into jazz and your stepson has sexually molested your kids yet you are still there and asking questions
Well, maybe the jazz thing is not a deal breaker to you or you too are into jazz
Mind boggling
DeleteNot only to bear Mrs. or not even to continue to bear Mrs.
DeleteSo many issues are involved.
But that issue of the welfare of children is real.
Until it started happening to a woman related to us, we trivialise it.
There is a standard children are placed at and used to that moving them can and may destroy them.
Yes, fathers may be court ordered to provide at the same standard, but no court can make the exact order and it is never the same as in the matrimonial home.
So, some mothers and fewer fathers choose to sacrifice themselves by staying in the marriage for the children.
Knowing when it is enough is difficult when you are in it.
😠innocent children o 😢
ReplyDeleteSo you choose marriage over your children ?
Mamannukusdkblogceleb
Stell ehi and Carolina are fighting I have screenshot Caroline response. She gave ehi bloody nose 🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteYour friend is acting foolishly as if she is naive to the gravity and grave consequences of her reluctance to tackle this evil act heads on. Remind her that she needed to have woken up like yesterday and act in the now. It is more like she is looking out for herself rather than prioritising the well-being of her innocent children. She should forget about family harmony or keeping the peace. Her primary aim is protecting her daughters. Her stepson has a pattern of harmful behaviour, and ignoring it won’t make it go away. Her husband’s idea of "spiritual intervention" is a cop-out solution that may not come to be - he is his son let her not forget that. If he doesn’t act, she must, than to regret it later.
ReplyDeleteThe stepson cannot stay in that house. Whether it’s boarding school, supervised care, or legal intervention, he must be removed. Hoping things will change is reckless and hopeless. This isn’t a one-time mistake; it’s a clear habitual danger.
She needs professional help - child protection services, therapists, legal experts - wish she resided in Lagos. Keeping it “within the family” puts her daughters at further risk of lifetime trauma. If she’s worried about custody battles, inaction will only weaken her case. The law does not look kindly on parents who knowingly leave their children in harm’s way.
Her daughters will need therapy to heal. And she needs it too - to understand why she’s hesitating when she should be fighting for them.
She also needs a lawyer, now. If her husband won’t protect his children, she must be ready to do it alone. She’s already carrying this responsibility, being their primary guardian - she might as well make it official.
This isn’t the time for fear or half-measures. Her daughters need her to be their protector, not their bystander. She has one job right now: get them to safety. Everything else can wait and would indeed wait for her - only if she acted now!
What a sad and tearful narrative of a typical African wife's affirmative proclamatory behaviour, who would rather stay put than walk away from an inglorious marriage for their utter selfishness.
The title ‘MOTHER’ is earned and shouldn’t be carelessly thrown to just any female who births or can reproduce. There are many reasons I advocate that a woman shouldn’t venture into marriage or motherhood until she’s 30+. If she was more mature, grounded, prepared and experienced, this won’t be up for discussion.
ReplyDeleteShe knows what to do. She just lacks the maturity to be a good mother. Poor kids. Praise Fowowe has modules you can purchase online to help you prevent kids from predators. Use google.
O need to day anything to your friend cos she doesn't want any solution from us, she knows what to do but decided to protect that good for nothing man and his son. She is a very terrible mother for allowing hwr kids to stay under thr same roof with a boy with such history.
ReplyDeleteHer husband will do nothing to his son, who knows if the husband is event into this shit as his son. Tell hwr to continue answering MRS. and not protect her children. Someday those children will ask hwr questions why she didn't protect them.
Poster stop it. No close friend confided in you. It's all about you.
ReplyDeleteYour assumptions are wrong.She's emotionally overwhelmed and can't write or think appropriately now . She has no knowledge of this write-up or sdk blog. I intend to keep it hidden too. Her blood pressure is also elevated for her age due to the events.
DeleteShe is not afraid of divorce, but she wants to ensure that in the event of a separation, shared custody of the children is not granted to her husband in a way that compromises her daughters' safety. She is open to supervised visitation, but her primary concern is preventing unsupervised shared custody. How can she ensure that her daughters' safety is protected?
ReplyDeleteShe can do that by reporting it
DeleteThen the law will prevent them and the boys from being in the same house
She can let the father know her next step will be to report it, if he doesn’t separate the children asap.
If she wud tell the court thru her lawyers as clearly as she has stated it here, there is no sane judge that would grant custody to the dad so long as his son is still living wt him. Visitation yes, but custody, NO. Even the visitation, m sure it would be in an open space either a park or eatery or may be ur home.
DeleteLet her also have recorded evidence of this it'll help her case.
Delete19:30
DeleteWell said. With GOOD evidence of the allegation, no good Judge will grant joint custody
Legal Advice.
Had she allowed the welfare office to do their work this matter would have been handled the correct way. If her husband had accused her of calling police she could have stated the doctors abided by the mandate of the law. Had she simply allowed the law to work she would not now be concerned about how to handle the matter, because it would have been handled so her children are protected and the stepson go to a reform school or something.
ReplyDeleteShe couldn’t even protect her children while cooking, so how does she expect to protect them 24/7 while the predator is under the same roof? Will they enter the toilet with her when she goes to use it, will she sleep in the same room as them and be around them all hours of the day and night to protect them? Unless she uses the law, she can never protect them and God forbid she dies early or go under a bad illness. She better let the welfare office do their work cause she in her human power will not be able to. And if she does not act fast she could also be charged with being complicit to the abuse by having the children and the perpetrator under the same roof, and taking no steps to protect them.
Sending the teen to boarding school is not going to help him, he will just turn on the boys and girls at the school. He needs to be sent to a reform school where his problems are addressed and efforts made to drive those desires and fixations out of him by any and every means possible. If he is not helped he will become a prolific pedofile in adulthood. The time to act is now!
18:39
DeleteParagraph 1 very true and says all.
He did it to other peoples children, they kept quiet.
He did to her children, she said no to third party official involvement.
Methink something changed between Husband and wife that is why the issue of molestation has suddenly become urgent and important.
Boarding house is not the solution. He will come home on holidays, right?
Have they considered sending him to his mother?
Let her consider living separately as suggested by Poster. That may ease them into legal separation or divorce. At the very least, it will psychologically prepare all for divorce and give room for introspection.
ReplyDeleteAtlist Let her leave the house for The sake of her Kids..
House wey she suppose done run comot..
God Forbid...
Hello iya Boys
Omg!!! Her children's lives are at risk and she's still trying to cover it up? I'm amazed
ReplyDeleteI guess that the poster and her friend in the chronicle are the same person. Both of you should carry your children and run away from that evil condition you are calling marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster, tell your friend to remove the specks of money and comfort from her eyes to really look at and plan her strategy very well.
ReplyDeleteSince nothing new has come up, she may need the old case files and the hospital's "the hand of Esau," help on the matter. Otherwise, the husband will see it as undue vindictive attack on his son and react on that basis.
All said is based on the assumption that the whole matter is not an issue of stepson being oldest male and child in the house (the proverbial Stepson/Step mother issue). This is said because nothing is beyond step mothers.
You women here just make comments without deep thoughts and analysis. Everytime, leave the marriage - which most of you can't do if faced with similar circumstances. She has invested part of her life in the marriage and there are kids involved. So, the situation is not as simple as most female BVs here are taking it. It requires extensive evaluation before the right decisions are made. May God grant the couple wisdom to take the right decisions.
ReplyDeleteOh, so she rather protect her marriage rather than her girls. So sick. She is really sick upstairs.
ReplyDelete