Do you think its OK for relatives to live with the couple after marriage? I mean relatives from both sides wanting to stay and enjoy their brother or sisters money.....
I heard of a couple whose marriage broke down cos of siblings living with them, the stress became too much and the wife could no longer handle her in laws and she moved out...The man allegedly said he would never ask his siblings to leave....
Are you leaving with your spouses siblings? Are they easy or difficult? Do you agree that it is OK if siblings live with the couple? Are you against it?
I am totally against it, I will get you all a nice place to stay but no one will steal my privacy all in the name of my husbands siblings....
Are you a similar situation?
Lets gist!
I'm totally against it. I can't even stay in a husband's family house, I prefer starting small even if it's a room and parlour. Before see finish go enter
ReplyDeleteIf they visit and go back, I can still manage, but living for unspecified number of years is not possible. The only exception is if it is an aged parent who is sick and needs to live here and receive treatment because here is the better choice. I would accept that.
ReplyDeleteAre you a nurse and full time housewife? Why must you be the one keeping sick relatives? Do husbands do the actual daily care or only wives ?
Deletei have no issues with that provided he or she will not go beyond the space given. My sister's younger sis stays with us and she knows my rule.
ReplyDeleteI may be simple, nice and accommodating but craze dey my head small
Your sister's younger sis?
Delete@Pinky, did you mean to say your wife's younger sis?
DeleteSince my mother in law came to visit my husband character changed
ReplyDeleteYou can imagine 😔😔😔
DeleteThat’s how some men behave, when they see family memebers around they behave differently. They don’t want to be seen as weak or that the woman is controlling them. This behavior is what breaks marriages and not the third party. Don’t blame your mother in-law, better talk to your husband.
DeleteWarn your husband to behave himself and pray against manipulation
DeleteOne month is enough !
ReplyDeleteI am on this table right now
ReplyDeleteI am not in talking terms with my In laws because my SIL brought her children and her jobless self since October last year
They expected me to cook for the whole family, do house hold duties with my 7 to 5 Job
As I refused to be enslaved, I became their enemy. I no send anybody
Immediately we vacated, I pack my stuff with my kids to my hometown
They left before I came back last week Sunday
Kudos to you for applying wisdom, good riddance to bad rubbish.
DeleteNa wa o.
DeleteHehehehe Poshscents na my new bestie! I'm totally for kill them but don't soil your hands😜🤣
DeleteThe audacity of in-laws eh! Because what’s this ? How can a woman be shameless
DeleteYou really tried,since October. Why can't she go to her own husband's house or family? 🙄🙄🙄
DeleteVery good..
DeleteI don't pretend at all, when I'm not ok, I let it out
You actually die in silent .
DeleteIt is not advisable at all, it always have negative effect on marriage.
ReplyDeleteFrom both sides, they are allowed to visit and even stay for a few days but not live with us permanently. This is what we both agreed to during courtship and it has stayed that way. No issues.
ReplyDeleteTrue...these matters should be discussed during courtship. But some partners still go ahead to break rules after marriage.
DeleteI am against it, abeg. You can come visit, spend time, but to live with us, HELL NO.
ReplyDeleteCANDY
I don't like it, I was staying with my elder brother before he got married, immediately he got married I just started looking for my own apartment so that they can have there privacy.. what I can't take I can't do it to others..
ReplyDeleteGbam!
DeleteOk
DeleteNa so
DeleteI have been warned not to allow any sibling either from wifey or from my side to live with us. That's if we want our Union to last. Some have made interest but we disagree to them. Never. Not in this life
ReplyDeleteWe can help others, just set boundaries, and make sure they have sense. You don’t know if you will need others to accommodate you or your kids tomorrow. You got to this stage with peoples help, it is even possible you might have lived with someone before. Marriage breaks even without third parties.
DeleteExactly. We lived with my husbands friend for a year before he found his footing in lagos and moved on. Then my my friend stayed some months before she gathered money to move on.
DeleteNext my brother and husbands siblings come and stay briefly each time they’re passing through.
We both know our breaking point and we don’t cross it. If I’m tired, we buy ready meals until I can cook again.
Sometimes I ask the visitors to help. Etc etc.
see ehnnn. Many things in this life no hard if you have a reasonable man as head of the home and reasonable guests too. Everything dey gel. One time we had an unreasonable guest, we asked them to move to the BQ and stopped bothering about them. Whether they wash toilet oo or not oo or clean up. I no send. I never asked for their help and carried on as if they were not there. I made sure food always dey. If food no dey, snacks go dey.
I love crowd sha, I can stay with my spouse's siblings so far we are financially okay and the family are good people.
ReplyDeleteMoney is the koko. Most of these issues have to do with money, exposure and kind/unkind family or spouse
DeleteI am against it,they can come for a visit .
ReplyDeleteYoruba proverb says "Okere ni Omo Iya ti dun".
I agreed with my husband that we won’t have relatives live with us.
ReplyDeleteThey can come and go oh but they won’t live with us, we can even help them get an apartment.
We have stuck to it and I hope continues. I don’t have energy for problem abeg
I don't support over staying. You can come for visit and go.🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's a good idea. it's to your tent oh Israel
ReplyDeleteIf depends..
ReplyDeleteDid u or ur husband stayed with any relative while starting up life? If so, will u ask people who contributed to who are today to leave your house?..
Except there is no enough space or finance and they are mean people.. It's won't be nice of you.. Better still get accommodation for them else where..
No pls. Big no!!!!! You can visit and go but please my mental health is too important to me for me to now house a relative for a long period of time!!! Hell no!
ReplyDeleteTake it easy. Others have expressed the same point. You don't have to use thousands of exclamation mark!
DeleteMy greatest mistake
ReplyDeleteSo sorry.
DeleteEeeeeya, pele 🥹 Pls come and tell us what happened, so others can learn.
DeletePlease tell us what happened
DeleteTotally against it,you can visit but for a short period.
ReplyDeleteMy husband's younger sister, lives with me. This is 10years now.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet home girl. Never had any regrets at all. I treat her same way as my biological children.
I am not totally against it, I stayed with brother family before getting married though his wife shew me small pepper. My husband nephew also stayed with us during his HND now my own sister son is staying with us. Life has no manual we live as it comes.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteForget the pepper my dear. Also put yourself in her shoes small and you’ll see she sef try. May you find strength to forgive her on your own
DeleteI can't marry any woman that can't accommodate my families!!!! If I have extra rooms or extra buildings for them to stay back....... I will accommodate from both sides for whatever period they choose to stay, koko prayers be say Lord should provide for me to be able to feed them while staying
ReplyDeleteOnly selfish and undomesticated men who don’t stay home fully talk like this
DeleteMen who value marriage have empathy and prioritize the thoughts of their wives above ego and arrogance
I'm not married but if I eventually get married, I'm ready to accommodate my family and his, so far they don't go beyond their boundaries, I've lived with people who accommodated me without any issue, I will even be an ingrate to God, considering how many times he had used strangers to accommodate me when I was helpless in strange towns.
ReplyDeleteYes I need my space and I love privacy, but that doesn't mean I will close my eyes to my family, I will also extend the help to another person that needs it, we need one another to grow.
Thanks for this, people shouting no as if they fel from heaven. My younger sisters stayed with me for years, even my husband siblings too. Help people when they need it. I can’t imagine having a house, a place my siblings will stay and better their lives and not help out. What is Love again.
Delete