Hmmmm.....
SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED URGENTLY
Please treat as urgent.
I have been seeing someone for about 3 months now and just found out he knows someone I had a fling with while in secondary school over 18 years ago we were still young.
I don't know how close my boyfriend is to the other guy I had a fling with(my boyfriend brother inlaw and my fling are good friends) and I am scared to open up to him because I don't want to lose him.
Not sure they even see face to face.
We seem perfect together. Please what can I do, I need advice from even the guys too. Thank you.
Open up to him about what? who asked you? Is this your boyfriend a saint? Does he not have ex girlfriends? why are you shaking like this for a man? Do not tell him anything until he asks you and if does ,just tell him you were friends with the guys, deny any gbenshing occurred and move on, if he leaves you cos of that, then its his problem and he was not meant to be yours...
You did not commit a crime, please stop acting like one......And one more thing, please marry a man that does not wanna know about your past!!!
I never see young girls wey mumu pass nijia babes wey dey desperate for marriage. Weytin no reach to worry them na him them dey worry about. Just imagine this kind thing eh? You are compatible together and yet still afraid of a fling from 18yrs ago? The story no add up. Maybe you don sleep with your fling o.
ReplyDeleteOkay na Nijia babes with tag of mumu
DeleteMy boyfriend and fling know each other very well and sex happened.
DeleteMadam that’s in your past. My wife’s ex is my friends friend and heaven no fall. As long as he trusts you, that’s all that matters plus your relationship is young. It’s better for you to tell him now and find out how he feels early enough than to wait till yall are deeper. So pls tell him
DeleteAtleast Naija babes better pass Kenya babes
DeleteMao Akuh
Your boyfriend and fling knows each other very well yet you said they barely see face to face.
DeleteMake it make sense madam poster.
Everything Stella said!!!
ReplyDeleteAlso he’s not doing you a favor by marrying you, respect yourself lady!
Wetin be this???
I dont understand why you are worried o. something that happened 18years ago and you are shaking for someone you just met 3months ago. Did you ever tell your boyfriend you are a virgin and has never had anything with any man before? what if he finds out you had a fling with the guy 18years ago? so what? Abeg no vex me this afternoon o
ReplyDeleteStella has nailed it. Also keep in mind that you have only known this man for 3 months, you don’t know him much and while you may not want to lose him, have you even asked God if he is the right man for you or if God approves of the union? Be sure you know what you are so desperate not to lose is truly worth holding on to.
ReplyDeletePoster you are just getting to know him so don't reveal this to him yet...He has not asked you so what are you feeling guilty of..You barely know him enough and if he is worthy of your trust...Do you know his true intentions?
ReplyDeleteOne thing I have noticed about us ladies is that we often confuse Attention with Intentions...These are 2 separate entities....Because he is your boyfriend does not mean you will end up getting married....So if you tell him and the relationship does not work out, how would you feel knowing he has this information and he has gone along with it.....
You have to relax and pray for a discerning spirit....Don't just reveal yourself to any Tom, Dick and Harry that comes your way when you hear ''I like you or I love you''...You have to let the relationship mature, get to know the guy well and his personality, how does he handle issues or challenges on a normal day....
Confess it to God and ask for his forgiveness and keep it moving...In this life, it is you and Chi and you have to apply wisdom; be gentle as a dove but wise as a serpent...
All the best....
Keep quiet.
ReplyDeleteAs simple as ABC.
Deletedid your bf ask you any question about the guy in question? why are you looking for problem where there is non? you better face your relationship and focus. You can tell him if he ask and you are comfortable of telling him your past else just lock up and pretend nothing has happened before now.
ReplyDeleteYour bf has his own but will not say anything, when you tell some guys about your past they will use it to judge you. Make sure you don't go back to that guy even if you both meet face to face. Whenever you see him just greet hi m casual and keep moving. What happened in the past should remain there period!!!
Poster, you sound desperate which is not good. I encourage openness in relationships it saves one a lot of stress in the long run, that's if you have a partner that's reasonable though
ReplyDeleteShe is worried because the knows how people can be
ReplyDeleteSome people end relationships over this
I think you should tell him because clearly it’s eating at you and you don’t want fling guy to make a bigger deal of it when he tells your man
Unless there’s evidence sha, I’ll say the gist abc deny any gbenshing happened
Has he opened up to you his past relationship? Why disturbing yourself over nothing?
ReplyDeleteHas he opened up to you his past relationship? Why disturbing yourself over nothing? 18 solid years 👀
ReplyDeleteLet the past rest abeg
ReplyDeleteDo you even know his past relationship?
Nawa for my gender
They say let the past rest🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 .. The past can wake up alone day. If you know there is something that has happened in the past with him, please spill and let him choose between loving you or to walk away.
DeleteUr peace of mind is paramount
Pinky I think you’re correct. I don’t understand the mindset amongst the women on this blog about hiding things from the past, that is what actually reeks of desperation. You are so desperate to be in someone’s life that you hide parts of yourself. Why not give a person the chance to choose to be with the real you.
DeletePoster it is not a big deal. Mention it to your bf offhandedly like… “ah, you know bro John? We dated briefly in secondary school”. 18 years is a long time ago abeg, even if it is two years ago e no mean, as long as they aren’t Brothers or very close friends.
You have to tell him
ReplyDeleteJust tell him that the guy used to be your friend in high the school days. No detail needed. The devil is in the detail.
ReplyDeleteYou better tell him.
ReplyDeleteIt's over 18 years and he'll probably overlook it except in special circumstances.. but tell him, this one is not amongst those you don't need opening up about as both are friends and know eachother..
If you value this relationship which I think you do, you won't hide something like this..
My ex and I relationship was special because of this, there was no stupid secret, I wasn't scared of a past I didn't know of popping out.. I know everything necessary there was to know, I asked her to tell me everything she thinks if I found out I'll leave, cos it's better I know now and accept it or leave before it gets so serious, she was scared but opened up and I accepted her the way she was..
There was one man that wanted to use her to do Ponzi scam, I found out he is fraud and told her to cut him off so he doesn't rubbish her good name, the man didn't want to go down without hurting her, he called my number and wanted to blackmail her with lies, I was just laughing, told him not to bother that I know what she's capable off, she later called him when I told her to mock him and told him how she built her relationship with trust.. Shame won finish the yeye man Lol..
What are you afraid of ? Something of 18 years ago?,And he doesn't have a past?
ReplyDeleteYour problem is quilty conscience. Fear that your ex may expose you. After 18 years, both of you must have moved on from whatever the string was. Relax and get to know your boyfriend more.
ReplyDeleteYou are just giving yourself Headache
ReplyDeleteWhat happen 18years ago
Abeg Abeg you and you fling no know each other again ooo..Calm down Biko and Enjoy Your Relationship...
Hello iya Boys
Lol. My ex-husband had a o
ReplyDeleteMy ex-husband came to Nigeria years old and was introduced to a girl that kept him company all through the period he was in town. No relationship. Just s*x. His very good friend came months later that he has found a wife. Turns out that his friend married that girl he was gbenshing. Till today, my ex has never told his friend. Except that guy is not mature, he should keep his mouth shut. It happened a long long time ago. Let it go
ReplyDelete