ADVICE NEEDED
Good day.
Sometimes I think our mothers reappearance In I and my sister's life is not really a blessing, cos she came to scatter the bond we shared by openly showing her preference and comparison to my sister.
Now we barely talk to each other...
We were really close because we had no one else . Grandma raised us with so much love, she'll never beat one for the other, she'll never compare us with any of our cousins, we don't even know if she had any special grandchild, she treats us all equally.....
You and your sister and now adults right? If you were really close like you said, then this wont be too difficult...Before your mum does more damage, get your sister to a quiet place and talk things over........Settle it before it becomes too difficult to sort out....
Some mums have caused so much damage to their kids that it makes one wonder why they decided to be mothers...
Your mum needs deliverance
ReplyDeleteThey need deliverance
DeleteIf at this age someone can come and separate them
2 adults
Taaaaaaaa they should get out
Now, you'll see them admitting this is possible, but when that man said the other day that his wife turned his kids against him, they were calling him a liar, say the kids dey see so e no possible..
ReplyDeletePretending like we don't know how manipulative women can be..
We all know what we are doing
Omg!!! So you are back? Please if you can’t always address the issues on ground, stay away with your negativity… we don’t need any petty little fellow bringing gender war here!!
DeleteHehehehe
DeleteDante,
Be like say you go refill your bags.
Points well made anyway.
Most persons of each gender tend to support their gender.
But you are largely unbiased.
It is your bluntness that unsettles those of us here who want to have the best of each gender without the attached duties.
The mother needs to be cautioned by both of you. She should not be allowed to sow seed of discord between you and your sibling.
ReplyDeleteSome mothers don't know how to handle their feelings and emotions..
ReplyDeleteYou are adult just do what Stella said after all when your mother is no more ,you and your sister will be around with your children and grand children,so stop any generational fight
ReplyDeleteSome mothers are like that. I'm trying to be bond with my mum now after the death of my sweet daddy,I never have any connection with her because I felt she never love me.poster please go with Stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteAfter satan is some women! Any woman that will refuse their children's father to have access to them; will be eventually driven away by the children's spouses!!! As a woman, my mother never stopped me from seeing my dad!
ReplyDeleteThey are various reasons why some fathers are stopped from assessing their child
DeleteIf he’s not abusing his kids, there is no rationale for women to stop kids from enjoying the love of their father
DeleteGod help us 🙏
ReplyDeleteYour mum is not doing right. You and your sister should work on your relationship.
ReplyDeleteAre you both 10y olds?
ReplyDeleteHow is this her fault
DeleteI hate this habit of blaming both parties
Both of you should address this and if you were really close before all of these, then it should not be difficult.
ReplyDeleteBe open to her about how you feel and see how it goes. When things are finally sorted, both of you should ensure you don't allow your mum scatter you both again.
Ah, our mothers, like us mothering our own too - we are those enigmatic figures who breathe life into our world and then sometimes, without warning, set it spinning in directions we never anticipated. From my thinking, your worry is not so much about your mother as it is about the twisted dance of love, comparison, and belonging. It's not new; nothing is; this kind is as old as time, where the ones we expect to cradle our hearts sometimes drop us into the murky waters of doubt, forcing us to question the very connections we once thought unshakable.
ReplyDeleteYour grandmother sounds like a rare breed - a gardener of love who never played favourites, a quiet hero who nurtured unity without a hint of bias. It’s almost poetic, isn’t it? That someone who wasn’t directly your mother taught you the essence of what maternal love should look like - many of them do at that age anyway. She stitched a bond so tight between you and your sister that not even the sharpest scissors of jealousy or comparison could cut through it. Or so it seemed.
Now entered your mother, with her human flaws and inexplicable preferences. It’s ironic, isn’t it? The very person who gave birth to you is now the one driving a wedge between two hearts that once beat in harmony. But here’s the thing about wedges - they only settle as deep as the crack allows. And cracks, my dear, are not permanent scars; they’re just spaces waiting to be filled with understanding, forgiveness, and, dare I say, a bit of mischief.
You see, your mother’s preferences are not a reflection of your worth, nor are they a measure of your sister’s. They’re her battle scars, her limitations, her blind spots. She’s human - tragically, beautifully, maddeningly human. And sometimes, as humans, we get it wrong. We come with baggage, some of which spills over and stains the relationships around us.
But here’s what you should hold on to - your bond with your sister doesn’t have to be a casualty of your mother's mistakes. It’s tempting to let resentment creep in, to let the comparisons whispered into your ears become the soundtrack of your relationship put on replay or blip on a broken disc. But what if, instead, you and your sister became co-conspirators against this narrative? What if you acknowledged the absurdity of being pitted against each other, laughed in the face of it, and chose to build a fortress of solidarity around your shared love while pretending in her presence?
Think of it this way: your mother’s reappearance may feel like a storm, but storms have a way of revealing the strength of the roots beneath the surface. Are you and your sister’s roots strong enough to weather this? Can you dig deeper, anchor yourselves in the memories of your grandmother’s unconditional love, and emerge stronger on the other side? Have you both lost that sibling rapport that effectively communicates to your souls?
It’s not about pretending everything is fine or sweeping your feelings under the rug. It’s about choosing the narrative you want to live by. You can let this story be one of division and pain, or you can make it a story of resilience, irony, and a love so stubborn it refuses to be extinguished.
So, call your sister. Talk to her. Laugh with her. Remind her of the times when Grandma’s love was the glue that held you together, and decide, together, that no one - not even your mother - gets to rewrite that story. And if that doesn’t feel doable today, then start small. A text, a smile, or even a shared silence can be the first stitch in mending the fabric of your bond. Ask any sailor, they'll tell you storms come and go, but the roots you nurture today will hold fast for a lifetime. Choose love, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard. That’s where the magic happens.
May God lift away this yoke, and give you both the endearing love of this blood sisterhood.
That kind of mother from hell. Please you guyz should find your way back to one another
ReplyDelete