Hmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DISGUSTING DIMENSION
I need serious advice please...
I just started dating someone 8 months ago but we met physically last December, he lives in the US and has returned back to base but he is coming again this year for Easter.......I met him and it was too good to be true..
This good looking, easy going, free spending man ticked all my boxes and i have been walking on egg shells around my thoughts since i met him..
He has been asking me if i like 3some and i have repeatedly said NO but he keeps asking and wants to know why i dont like it and has been saying things like Naija ladies can pretend and always say no when they mean to say yes....
He has asked me if i watch p#rn and i said i used to but stopped and the next thing i woke uo to see my whatsapp filled with the kind of videos i walked away from......
This man and i are in love and he wants to meet my family, not for marriage but just to show that he is the one in my life...... This behaviour he has, are they not redflags? Imagine asking me if i have friends that like 3somes, i asked him why he asked and he said cos he has friends that do...I asked him if he does 3 somes and he said he used to but stopped but my mind tells me he is lying.....
Every convo with him all about gbenshing gbenshing gbenshing and i am honestly drained from it.......
He calls on videos all the time wanting to see me in my birthday suit and it makes me regret going intimate with him.....
Is this something i can fix or am i walking into a set up for 3some? this man gives me everything i have asked for and is even buying me a car this Easter but it looks like there is a price tag........
I need advice.....
Be there pretending as if you dont know what he wants from you... You want us to tell you that he wants to have 3 some with you and your friends with his friends...........Well if you are searching for fun, fine but dont marry this man cos no female around you will be safe, including your daughters...... sick behaviour.....
I need advice.....
Be there pretending as if you dont know what he wants from you... You want us to tell you that he wants to have 3 some with you and your friends with his friends...........Well if you are searching for fun, fine but dont marry this man cos no female around you will be safe, including your daughters...... sick behaviour.....
Stop pretending that you dont know, have a talk with him and tell him you dont like the convos he brings up....
Longerthroat. You Wan turn dog to husband tomorrow you go dey cry like weyrey. Abeg shift
ReplyDeleteI wish I could like this comment.
Delete🤣🤣🤣 Your question is funny...Which advice do you really want to hear.....Can't you see the clear, legible handwriting on the wall? Poster you know the answer to your question, you have something in you called INTUITION which many people like to say it's the lowest form of intelligence but it never ever ever fails....You have answered your question in your write-up...What else again?
DeletePlease you are seeing the red sea in him and I don't want to believe because he is in USA, you want to consider....He has shown you that he is fcukboy and you still asking JAMB.....Don't come back year later crying and fully of regrets....
Use your tongue to count your teeth....
All the best
I didn’t read anywhere he said he wants to marry though. The man may not even be interested in marrying her just to use her anyhow and finally disappear. Ije uwa
DeleteFan Emmanuel
Sister please runaway from that man. The material gifts is not worth endangering your life.
DeleteFor you to be asking question; is you thinking you can play him till Easter when he buys the car for you but you are playing yourself.
Exchange rate is favoring him, his looking for hungry naive girls to do and experiment all sorts of immoral and despicable things to. Nne FORGET love, you are the only one in love.
You know his everything WRONG but because you need the change you are beginning to entertain the damaged pyscho. Deep down you know the right thing to do. Honor yourself and flee from him but You won't as you will want to change him blablabla
You're right beautiful. Free spender isonu 🙄🙄🙄
DeleteIjeeee di ohhhhh
DeleteIje uwa.
Poster you are about to enter a marriage with a sexually deviant man. A marriage where your cousins and your friends would become your sexual partners, una fit dey host porn party.
Do you even understand how demonic such arrangements are?
God has shown you mercy! Run run run!
Or you can stay and drive car and mix fluids and spirits with random people
First, the man is just looking for someone that will satisfy his sexual fantasies. He has no plans to marry you. He is grooming you for a much more complex sexual relationships with him and others. Also, be mindful of the fact that, all your nudes or videos are not only viewed by him alone but with others. Also, bear in mind that he will give you everything you need, but you will turn to his puppet!....Accept this and you will be Okay. Anal, BDSM...etc..make up ur mind.
DeleteAll these girls with obsession over “abroad husband” do you know the kind of sick and depraved culture exists especially in North America?! A lot of the black men are either gay or bisexual or if they are not they are into anal sex, orgies, swinging, 3-somes and all manner of sick practices. You and this man “are in love”??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 dey play! No man who loves you would be fantasizing about sleeping with your friends or sharing you with his friends. This man will be filled all manner of stds. He wants to meet your parents but “not for marriage” I’m sorry but you seem very stupid, you are only just a sex object he wants to keep for when he visits Nigeria.
DeleteThis man is not just a Red flag but a black flag.
ReplyDeleteA man so interested on 3some with your friends is who you are still asking questions?
Please run away, or else he go knak you and all your friends join.
DOZZYBEST.
I think it’s the fact that he’s based in the US that is still making u ask if he’s a red flag because you know he is. Please flee from this man abeg. Imagine sending ur supposed serious girlfriend porn and asking if she likes threesomes. You clearly don’t like these things. End it!
ReplyDeleteThis is not for marriage but fun, don't even try to settle with this kind because he will destroy your mental health..
ReplyDeleteHe wants to meet her parents just to mark register as a temp and flingo not for future. NNe, if your plan aligns with his, by all means, tango with him. If not, plays walk away because you will not like the mainstream when the coaster starts rolling.......#thinkitthrough
DeleteLouder Dearie 🗣️🗣️🗣️
DeleteYou better Open ya Eyes ooo
Hello iya Boys
He is a wild one, you can't fix it.
ReplyDeleteDo not let him brain wash you with his freaky ways cos you will not meet up and when you don't, that's where the problem is.
For how long will you keep pretending just to please him? You go fit?
That guy doesn't love you, if he does he will not keep up with the questions about 3somes and all that. He'll respect your opinion about it and let it go.
Comot eye for the money make you for get peace of mind before he asks you to bring your sister for 3some.
I
word...... he doesnt love her. Girl, just like you, he is also chatting up other girls and making same requests. Some of them have enough time in hand. Just think it through and decide the path you wanna thread on. Remember, he isn't forcing you, YOUR DESIRES ARE so make the right chioce.
DeleteIf you are deceiving others better tell yourself the truth ,you are with him because he gives you but 3somes will involved another person in addition to him ,he is out to useless your live and you are there asking us to help you know what you already know;welcome to community sharing
ReplyDeleteLol.
ReplyDeleteNne nne ,either eat your money and shut up.
Or end this situations hip.
Gentleman is damaged and sick in the head. Nobody wants him in the US. That's why he has come back.
See you see your nudes online! You're simply his plaything, nothing serious. As per the money, a few dollars give him plenty naira to play around with. Follow your mind, he is not just a red flag, he is a red tent!!!
ReplyDeleteThe only reason u r still considering this man despite his sick behaviour is becos he is based abroad. If this guy was in naija, u wud have had the solution to this situationship.
ReplyDeleteMy advice: follow ur heart cos naija girls and abroad+ rich man that is even going to buy you a car, advice no dey for that one. Sha if u continue wt him, the answer u dey find, u go meet am for the marriage. Good luck!
Remove the free spending part of him, will he still stand a chance? Exchange rate made It so easy for abroad guys to impress Naija girls who place loves money. Everything is glaring, stop playing yourself.
ReplyDeleteFelicity
You have already given him the cookies at your first meeting, asking you to be in your birthday suite is not a big deal for someone who had seen your nakedness or had you do all sorts on him in order to please him as per obodo oyibo wealthy boyfriend. As far as he is concerned. You are a private ashawo, Money for hand. back for ground. If I ask you to walk away, will you agree?.
ReplyDeleteIf you feel bad about his questions and request. Stand your ground and ask him to stop, say it like you mean it and stand by it.
Take Stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
Poster he is a f,,ck boy. That's all they discuss. Is it what you want?
ReplyDeleteyou don't need me or anyone to tell you this man is a sick person, he want to have 3 and 4 some with you plus your friends. What kind of conversation do you have with him to generate see finish to the point of him sending you adult films? you better define this ship cos i see you dating yourself and not him.
ReplyDeleteyou better look for something to channel all the attention, time, energy than to allow a man destroy your life cos of material things. He has been spending on you so therefore you don't have mouth to talk to him.
Poster this one na confirm bad market, ahia mgbu. Putaba na uzo adigh. He is not a husband material samsam.
ReplyDeleteNa real samsam! o
DeleteWith all these Redflags what do you want us to say, no man asks a woman he wants to marry for a threesome, you better quench that your silly thoughts of marriage with him, he is just there for the fun and ready to pay for it.
ReplyDeleteThere is a remote possibility that the guy is testing the poster to determine if she is a wife material.
DeleteWell, that's another Point of View, but I doubt it, who will send a wife material pornography, I bet the guy is just there for the fun.
DeleteHe is a threesome addict.He is coming to see your folks but not for marriage but to let them know he is in your life.He is reintroducing porn to you.He always ask to see you nude during video call.The whole thing is draining you...Continue with the messed up relationship if you like ..I,m sure you are an adult .but you will regret it soon or later .I,m 1000 % sure
ReplyDeleteThat your man is not a husband material at all, he will sleep with all your friends and your sister them. Be careful with him shall.
ReplyDeleteI kinda feel for you because it’s like you like him but he wants things you don’t want to do
ReplyDeleteJust move on
The flag is "redder" Poster, Unless you are ready for his 3some, Do not marry this man for your sanity sake.
ReplyDeleteIs this Taiye, 40s from the US.
ReplyDeleteIn tech? Should be in Texas or so?
Married a couple of times like 2 or 3 times.
Served in Ikere Ekiti in 2006?
Sounds like him, always talking s*x.
Be there talking wetin you know, you are afraid of loosing all the goodies you get from him right,stay there and die in silent
ReplyDeleteContinue...
Poster, It doesn't look like... of course there is a price to pay. Wake up and act quick, RETREAT! This is really disgusting abeg.
ReplyDeleteYou know this is a red field, don't think you can change him.
ReplyDeleteWalk away and stop living in lala land. He won't change.
If you check well condom wasn't involved o another cp drama loading
ReplyDeleteI hope you know he is a fu**k boy 😂
ReplyDeleteLike what Stella said if you want fun then go for him but if it's marriage oh girl run 😁
Dear poster, I forgive you for the fraughting mannerisms your mindless avarice has enabled in this 'class act' of a situationship. The cheapest thing that man can give you is the easy money, easy spending he throws around, which you have sadly mistaken as love. And perhaps, just perhaps you validated that with a strong sexual alter ego - which is the cheapest thing you could offer him in return for the allure his presence had (from your story) held you captive. I think the first place you ought to have started with, since the physical attraction is game, is your values - are they similar or ways apart?
ReplyDeleteThis “too good to be true” man who waltzed into your life, wrapped in golden promises and red flags stitched together like a patchwork quilt of confusion. He checks all the boxes, doesn’t he? The good looks, the easy charm, the generosity that whispers, "I'm your dream come true." And yet, beneath the glittering surface, lies a dark truth that reeks of a transaction you didn’t sign up for. Yet you signed on because your heart hesitates.
The thing about walking on eggshells around your thoughts is that it’s exhausting. It’s a quiet betrayal of yourself, the kind of self-denial that whispers, maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe this is normal. But your intuition doesn’t lie. It’s the primal part of you screaming through the noise of his sweet words and expensive gifts, saying, Look closer. This isn’t what love is supposed to feel like.
He’s dangling the shiny car keys like bait, just as you would to the greedy mouse in your house, but what’s the price? His fetish behaviour - asking about threesomes, sending explicit videos, pressing for your "yes" when you've firmly said "no" - is not an awkward quirk or a harmless kink. You’re not being “set up” either for a threesome - you’re being tested, conditioned to compromise, to slowly accept what doesn’t sit right with your soul. It’s a fundamental disrespect just to see how far he can push you before you start breaking. And dear, oh yes, going by your narration, you are carving in already.
And that incessant talk of "gbenshing," as you call it - doesn’t it feel like you’re reduced to an object in his fantasy rather than a person in his life? Oh, I forgot, your avarice already offered you up off the shelf to the counter as an item - mtchwwww. The man claims love but spends more time probing your sexual preferences than your dreams, values, or aspirations. Nor has he sold you a vision of his own. Love doesn’t make you feel drained; it energises and uplifts. Love respects a “no” without demanding a justification. Love doesn’t make you question your worth every time you say no to something that doesn’t sit right with your soul.
Oh, and please do not miss the irony here. He accuses Naija ladies - to which I am, sadly yeah? Of pretending, but isn’t he the one performing? Claiming he’s over threesomes but can’t stop talking about them? Sending you porn while claiming he respects your boundaries? It’s like a bad script, you are refusing to proofread and you’re the unwilling co-star in the movie you never auditioned for but are desirous of taking it lead role
The truth you need to hear is that you’re not his project, his experiment, or his plaything - I'm sure you are already aware of this. You’re not his compromise, either. He’s showing you who he is - persistently, repeatedly and intentionally - and it’s not your job to fix his damaged righteousness. People don’t change because of love; they change because they want to. And nothing in his actions suggests he wants to be anything other than what he is - a man who sees relationships as transactions with conditions you didn’t agree to.
So, ask yourself this: is the car worth your peace of mind? Are the gifts worth the slow erosion of your self-respect? Because every time you allow a boundary to be crossed, you’re teaching him that your “no” is negotiable. That your boundaries are negotiable. But let me be clear: love doesn’t demand pieces of
Woww this is so nice
DeleteYou dnt need to Ask question,The Handwriting is All Over him...
ReplyDeleteWetin you wan help him fix, You Break anything , You Berra carry ya leg for Head oooo.
MR Man Nah Bull dog ooo🤣
Hello iya Boys
Why are some ladies like this? He is doing video calls with you insisting you are naked? Then one day you will wake up and say you are no longer interested and your nude videos will be on the internet? @poster, you have not found the love of your life. Stop showing anyone your nakedness on a video call! don't take that guy to your parents! He only want to have fun!. He will do 3some with you and your friends, and that will be the end of your relationship, he is only exploring, he's not in love!
ReplyDeleteJust know he doesn't have plans to marry you. If marriage is what you desire, madam you never see husband ooo.
ReplyDeleteHow many times have we said on this blog that you do not change your belief systems for anyone. If you are modest in the bedroom and like things modest, you are completely fine. Honour who you are.
ReplyDeleteStop talking to this person. He is who he is and there are women on his wavelength, let them find themselves. There are seckually modest men in the planet, let one of them find you. Never sell your self worth to anyone. You are unequally yoked! Let him take his good looks, easy going and free spending to someone else. The man for you may not be as good looking, may be of lesser means and not so easy going but he will give you peace and trust. You won’t wake up every morning tormented in your spirit. You won’t have to walk down the street seeing ppl giggle and worrying if they are giggling about you. You won’t have to fear picking up a virus or having hpv living in your throat and worrying about throat and mouth cancers. Have you ever seen what a mouth resection surgery looks like, you would never dream of entering that lifestyle for anyone. Practice abstinence so your emotions don’t get confused and you do not become attached to someone unworthy. I ain’t judging you, just older than you.
Love of money, and what it can buy. And greed. If it wasnt for money, he wouldnt tick any boxes. You're collecting gifts and dont want to give anything in return. LONG THROAT. You are all of a sudden no longer comfortable with what "seemed too good to be true".
ReplyDeleteYou are so greedy girl. Because he is rich money has covered your senses. So you are dating this unserious thing because of money? Hope you both went for HIV test before sleeping with him?
ReplyDeleteI don't pity girls like you.
Aunty, run for your life
ReplyDeleteDont run for your life. Be there asking nonsense questions.
ReplyDeleteMaybe in ur small head u think u will change him when u get married to him or u will match his urge. Same way Annie thought she will change Innocent. With all the 3some she organised and all d smoking, where is the marriage today. Laslas she dey ment join.
If u like stay there bcos he is based abroad.
My dear, runn...I hate it when a man is on a discuss with me and then all it centers on is GBENSHING. It turns me off especially if we are just getting to know each other.
ReplyDeleteWhat him bikonu? I am sorry to disappoint you but this red flag is too Red hot. Make e no go burn you o. Drop it like it's hot.
Please run for your life except you want to cry inside range rover.
ReplyDeleteUntil you see your nude on telegram, you no go rest
ReplyDeleteYour future kids in danger. Such people have no iota of moral uprightness, but the car and other goodies promised won't let you to see that you need to run
ReplyDeleteHas he asked you for anal or you have already given it to him? If he gets you real deep in this things, know that you are in for a big spiritual battle in the future to be free. Is it worth it?
ReplyDeleteWhen I read that you guys have done the Jigijigi,first thing that came to mind was,hope una use condom to do the do,sister I beg run for your dear life before every female in your life will be used for 3some practical.God can still send a responsible diaspora guy for you.Do not trade your peace of mind for any perishable thing.
ReplyDeleteChiloving
Poster, don't mind that request to see your family. Ap person can ask to meet your family and still end up making you regret ever having an encounter with him. You will learn! it you tow that part.
ReplyDeleteIf a man really likes you, he won’t ask you for those things or talk about sex all the time, he won’t ask you to have three some sex, anal sex, lesbian sex and stuff like that. He is a walking red flag and a sick fuck. Men who want just sex or speak about sex all the time and nothing important don’t like you. A man who likes you will want to get to know you, he won’t impose his will on you, he won’t force you or manipulate you into doing his desires. A man who likes you will be considerate of your feelings, will never be dismissive, will do for you before you even ask, will treat you with respect and go out of his way to please you and not himself. Just so you know, that guy has spoken to his friends about you and probably in a disgusting way. He is dangling stuff in front of you and dangling you in front of his friends and rivals. Those kinds of dudes are not kind hearted. Once you give in, he will try to isolate you so you can do more of his depraved sexual desires. If you have a problem with him he will tell the world about you. He could also record your sessions with him and others without your knowledge. These types of individuals will share you with their friends and in the end, he won’t marry you. My advise is for you to throw your emotions outside the door and collect as much as you can collect from him and move on when you or him is tired. You will know because he will start to tell you things like someone else likes you and ask if you are interested. At the beginning he probably sold you an I like you very much and I am looking for something serious story. They love bomb you until you agree after which they try to get you to do their heart desires. A relationship founded on sex and which continues to be about sex alone is nonsense. My advise is that you go do a comprehensive std and STI test and if you are negative on all counts, count your lucky stars. Also avoid anything with these guys as you know you can catch an STD or STI from them. Be careful out here because people are terrible masquerading themselves as your saviour. If you act up (which I highly recommend) and he stop talking to you, please thank God.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like one OBi guy that lives in the states, promises a lot of Naija babes marriage and spend alot on you, previously married etc but let me not say more before it comes out
ReplyDeleteIf you want to be with him for enjoyment, then by all means remain. But if you know you want something serious, my sister he's not the one for you. Shikena
ReplyDeletePoster you see how everyone has given you solid advice. Everybody is saying the same thing , so use your tongue and count your teeth. You self know the gospel truth but money is turning your head.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't listen to all these meaningful advice; then you're on your own.
This poster doesn't have values because if she does, you won't be here asking us yeye question.
ReplyDeleteSee you dating a mad person...no love there..this days they see parents to get in.he is most likely married just looking for 1 of his dogs
ReplyDeletePoster you know everything this man want, you're there because of how he spent on you, give yourself sense and walk away.
ReplyDeleteYour narration clearly indicates you know what he wants & the type of person he is. He seems to just want to have some fun. He wants to meet your people to show he is with you but not about marrying you🤨 He wants to hook you up with implied commitment without outrightly saying he has no plan to marry you. Do not assume any status. Have a candid talk with him. Let it be clear you don't want a part in his sexual interest. Do yourself well to read the writings on the wall.
ReplyDelete