Hmmmm.....
ADVICE NEEDED
I am dating someone who lives outside the Country and who comes and goes 3 times a year..He has proposed and i accepted happily cos i am going to be 40 this year and want to start having my babies as soon as possible...I dont care whether i relocate to him or not, I just want to get pregnant and start having babies...... I work so will manage if anything goes wrong.
My husbands sister who was so happy and cried when he proposed has turned out to be evil.....She invited me over to her house and i overheard her talking to her brother when she thought i was sleeping, she was coding badly but i still understood what she was saying cos most of the coded words, my guy had taught me what they can represent cos the codes are a family thing between the two of them.....
She was on the phone telling him so many horrible things about me.......She said i wet the bed (Big lie) she said that my hygiene was bad and she could smell me all over the house.....( her brother that tells me all the time he loves to gimme head cos i smell like butter) She told him she saw sticky stuff in my panty from gbenshing another guy but she didnt know that i was ovulating then and i put my pant in my bag cos i didnt want to wash it and leave it in her house...But it was well wrapped in my bag...So she went to check my stuff?
She told him that i am always on the phone with different men and that someone like me would not make a good wife...She then changed the subject to her friend whom she said would make a good wife for him and give more beautiful babies cos of her almost white skin......
The next day, i was so weak from shock that i refused breakfast and pretended like i needed to meet an appointment i forgot about...I got home and called my guy on video and confronted me......He was shocked i heard everything and said he played along just to engage her to think she is winning until the wedding would hold......He refused that i confront her and said it would create more problems for us.......
This sister is older than me and unmarried and with money to throw around...I dont know how she makes her money and my man said she never asks him for money.......
Should i confront her? Wouldnt it be better she knows i heard all the trash she said?Please advice!
Abeg confront the werey!!! Na jealousy wan kee am!...Tell such lies on your for what? Confornt her and if she misbehaves and you can, flog am with small koboko, then flog yourself join and say that she beat you up...Sebi she think say she sabi lie? Ask the werey!!!
Don't go and confront her and create more problem. So far your guy knows you well and hasn't lost interest,nothing else matters. That's very common attitude among some women.
ReplyDeleteBeware of a third party in a relationship, when you give them chance they will scatter.
Poster the sister did bad but that hygiene gossip I think you
ReplyDeleteshould look into it. Ask yourself questions
Fan Emmanuel
Please read again
DeleteStay focused and submissive
ReplyDeleteYour man said don’t confront. Leave it. Marry and get your babies
Fighting a man’s sister is not easy
Don’t overplay your hand before marriage
You dey mind the werey. After marriage you can fight
DeleteNever confront her openly. You may not manage your emotions and u may say things u won’t be able to unsay
ReplyDeleteI will say dont confront her. Just move on and stay with ur guy.
Zendaya
Never confront her openly. You may not manage your emotions and u may say things u won’t be able to unsay
ReplyDeleteI will say dont confront her. Just move on and stay with ur guy.
Zendaya
I agree, play the game of silence for now, your time will come. It always does. Don’t be distracted. Get what you want and more. You don’t fight your adversaries openly.
DeleteShe said she saw sticky stuff in your panties from ghenshing with other guys. This is how people misconceive people. She saw that and concluded it's gbenshing. I hope your husband to be don't read too much meaning into this particular pantie issue. Please explain that very well to him before he starts thinking the pantie stuff is truly an evidence .
ReplyDeleteHmm Poster, Na wa oh....This your chronicle ehn....
ReplyDeleteBeht wait oh! When your to be sister-in-law was telling your husband such gibberish...Why didn't he reprimand her both on the phone and in your presence too....From your write-up, it is not uhuru because for him to entertain such conversation and not call out her behaviour does not seat well with me at all at all....
Rather than you confronting her, let your to be husband confront your sister and warn to stop disrespecting you by spreading wicked lies and this should be done in your presence....She does not need to like you but she must respect you as a to-be-wife to her brother....
Lastly, you have to join your husband abroad; your marriage is too early for both of you to be apart....And when are you going to live after the wedding? Don't tell me it's your sister in law's place...If it is, start looking for a small apartment whilst you are preparing to join your husband...
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding
All the best
Sit*
Deleteyour advise is so apt! poster take this advice, your man should have shut her up immediately and tell her not to be rude to you. Insist that he confronts her as regards the wrong allegations she labelled on you. A man who cant stand up for his intended bride "no try at all"... BV GAO
DeletePls listen to your man and do not confront her…Keep your friends close and your enemies closer..Stella no give this woman advice wey go destroy her impending union o.
ReplyDeletePoster,no need to confront her at all. Your husband to be is already in the know. Envy is a deadly venom,confronting her will unleash more venom,you may not to be able to handle. Continue to pray ahead and God will bless your home. 🙏🏿
ReplyDeleteYour fiance has told you not to confront her. What do you stand to gain by having issues with her now?
ReplyDeleteYou have seen the person she is. It is best you avoid her like a plague.
If you confront her and it goes south, youll be on the losing end. First, because he told you not to, and you disregarded him. Second, she is still his sister and you are still the outsider. She can simply make his other siblings detest you.
Either ways, you dont win.
But what do i know? Confront her and give her serious warning, if that will make you happy.
Stella is that still your mood swings ?😂
ReplyDeleteDear Poster do as your Man says I hope you recorded your conversation with him or any other form of evidence... Let this slide first then you can manifest next time. Good thing is your Man is in your corner👍
dear poster, i think you should not confront her since your guy already asked you not to. obedience is better than sacrifice.
ReplyDeleteUr man said don't confront her so why are still asking?
ReplyDeleteThe important thing is u now know her well and knows that is never likes you so stay away from her.. Give her attitude until the wedding if it's ever holds because she can go extreme to even set him up with another lady.. So be careful around her and her family including ur man..
Pls listen to your guy.Use silence and Wisdom.Sometimes you can be right but if you don't handle the. issue well, everything will turn against you.And she is your future in-law.Becareful.
ReplyDeleteYou are still using plastic ID. Sha don't go near giveaway with it
DeleteWhy will you confront her???
ReplyDeleteDid she talk to you? That is your man's responsibility. Your man should not let you go to her place again unless he is around. And he should close the marriage as soon as possible.
The man you are going to marry and even calling “my husband “ already asked you to hold your peace, and you are here asking jamb question. The people that are urging you on to confront your would SIL, is that how they blatantly disobey their husbands? You had better be careful before you seek out on a wrong footing.
ReplyDeleteYou called her your husband's sister. Are you married to her brother? Is he properly married to you?
ReplyDeleteIf she was so happy and cried when your "husband" proposed to you, why is she against you now?
What went wrong?
Oh Stella o🤣 the way you say confront the werey got me laughing so hard 🤣
ReplyDeleteStella, I like your submission 💯
ReplyDeleteStella why the werey werey in your comment like that your blog fave, amotekun lawyer? 🤣
ReplyDeletePoster, listen to your man, don't confront her, don't give him the impression that you are a stubborn wife to be. Let sleeping dogs lie but make sure you avoid her henceforth, don't sleep over at her house anymore, if you must visit her. Don't let her visit you too. Be cold towards her and let her wonder why. Pls avoid her, she can poison you so that her friend will marry her brother. Also make sure you get pregnant as wedding preparations is ongoing because she can tie your womb just to frustrate you in the marriage.
ReplyDeleteDo not confront her, let's call this strike one, avoid her and marry fess, next time she comes for you bite her head off
ReplyDeletePlease ignore her, irrelevant people will talk, blackmail, assassinate other's character because of envy etc. You only make them relevant/important when you give them your attention.
ReplyDeleteWhile his sister's character is questionable; Hope your man is a good person in and out? Do not ignore red signs because you want to settle down/have your kids.
Confronting her is NOT necessary. Save your energy for better things
Your man told you not to confront her but you are here asking if you should, so that she will know "you heard the trash she said".
ReplyDeleteI don't know why some of una no just like to dey hear word.
Okay oh, go and confront her, whatever you see, you take.
Do you know the amount of "trash you will hear" when you get married?
Better learn to choose your battles wisely.
What will be the point in confronting her now when you didn’t confront her earlier and your man has asked you not to. I don’t think it makes sense sha and you will starting a battle you aren’t well prepared for.
ReplyDeleteWhy not begin to observe her from afar and learn how to keep her at arms length.. You are at an advantage now because she doesn’t know that you know her thoughts towards you.
If you confront her, a full blown battle will start and as desperate as you are for children, it may not be to your favor
This is the first test of your union. Your husband knows his ppl better than you, if he says do not do any confrontation then do not do it. Let your marriage go through in peace. Even if you confront, will she like you, will you become friends? You now know that she is an enemy and that is the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteIf you disobey and confront her, you may still find yourself unmarried till 45. Your woke attitude has gotten you to 40 and unmarried. Be humble please. Use wisdom.
ReplyDeleteOversabi
DeleteMadam you are dirty sha. It is better to wrap a clean underwear that is wet than a dry dirty underwear that is sticky.
ReplyDeleteThe woman might be envious but check yourself too.
Nothing wrong with it
DeleteHow dirty do you think one use made it
You’re the one who is dirty and forming clean. So you will wet the whole underwear and put in nylon so it can be musty and grow mold and what not? Not to mention the smell. Hian!
DeleteThis is really disappointing, what you could have done during the conversation was to codedly record the conversation. Do not confront her as your fiance had advised, but she needs to hear this after your marriage happened. People are simply evil honestly
ReplyDeletePlease note that if you plan to confront her, ensure you have solid evidence and record the conversation to avoid any potential misrepresentation.
ReplyDeleteApproach the matter maturely and firmly, but avoid creating a scene, as this could lead to misunderstandings or leave your partner with negative feelings about you.
Remember, blood is thicker than water until marriage unites both of you as one family...
Your fiancé told you not to confront her, but you are being recalcitrant. If you could hear most of the things people say behind your back or their hidden thoughts towards you, I wonder how someone like you would survive.
ReplyDeleteYou are hurt, and rightly so, but the joy that your fiancé is already on your side should override the erupting anger. He is not moved by it one bit, so why try to fight an already won battle?
You want to fight with her, and you think with time he won't be forced to pick a side when the whole thing escalates? Even if he picks your side as his wife, your presence in his life being the reason why he had to keep a distance from his family would not augur well; neither would he be happy being in such a position to choose a side, and with time it could make him bitter or resentful towards you, even though you are in the right.
Oh! You think when you confront her she would feel remorseful and have a change of heart towards you. You need to know people who speak maliciously do not care about your feelings. If you confront her, she is simply going to gaslight you or be forced to recruit other siblings for reinforcement.
What if you didn't understand the language? At least now you know how she feels about you, so you are already a step ahead of her and would know how to relate to her better and comport yourself around her. Not everyone is as lucky as you are.
Her brother should be the one to let her know he trusts you so she can relax and trust you too, instead of giving her an audience to disparage you. He was supposed to speak up on your behalf.
Now, don't try to see this situation as leverage to freely castigate or throw nasty remarks at his sister in his presence at every given chance you can grasp because you feel you have earned the right. Remember, to you, she is unpleasant, but in his eyes, she was just trying to have his back and looking out for him. He can't see the situation the exact way you do.
You don't need to give her an attitude/fight with her before or after the wedding; just respectfully keep your distance from her. Be civil when you meet but put the necessary boundaries in place.
That aside, I think you should have washed your panties instead of keeping them in your bag; after all, you were planning to sleep over till the next day. You wore them and kept them in an enclosed space, and who knows, the heat from your bag probably didn't help matters. You may pride yourself on being a neat freak, but some people have a sharp sense of smell—a rare kind—and who knows if that was what pushed her to go through your bag to figure out what was going on. You were going to stay over at her house till the next day; washing them shouldn't be an issue the next morning if you wrung them well and had them air-dried. I know to a greater extent she was being nosy and was probably looking for dirt on you, hence ransacking your bag, but who knows, this could also be another angle you may want to consider.
ReplyDeleteI’d be more worried about your guy not defending you right there and then. You think this kind of behaviour gets better after marriage?
ReplyDeleteIya Boys Has Spoken Confront the werey ...🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteSome people can be Mean Shaaa..
May God Help you oooo..
Hello iya Boys
Lol..
ReplyDeleteNa wa oh .
Old corn things..
I will respectfully pass
Poster please, please don't confront her ooo,focus on your relationship. It really pays to reply people with silence, it's more than' golden'.
ReplyDeleteThe greatest revenge is success,but in this case,your marriage to her brother will be better than confrontation cos the latter will do more harm than good. I dey beg you on bended knees don't confront her to be on the winning side.By the time you marry your guy,you can show her a tip of the iceberg cos she go still fumble.
Chiloving
Poster your man is on your side, never confront her,just mind your business and avoid her.
ReplyDeleteI’m not worried he didn’t defend her
ReplyDeleteHis sister spoke he listened. He didn’t act on it. That’s enough
My husband did not speak to his sister for 7 years because she implied that my daughter does not belong to him. He told her to mind her business and avoid his family. Immediately she brought up that topic your man should have shut her up. I'm not comfortable to be candid. You don't know what he told her because you only heard what she was saying. Please be vigilant and at alert. Anything can happen. I only pray for the best for you.
Delete20:37 Relationships are different
DeleteSome siblings doesn’t don’t like each other
If my sibling says something like that, I’ll say what did you see
We are too close for me to think it’s malicious
Even the one that tends to talk crazy to me, I still talk to
O stalle you will not ki me with laugh. O. Jesus I all must pee in my part.
ReplyDeletePlease next Time, don't honor such invitations. When I wanted to get married, my ex husband's mother invited me to come and spend ,2 weeks with her. My ex husband wasn't in the county at the time. My mum refused and said we can talk on the phone. Fast forward, the younger brother wanted to get married, the mother invited the lady to house again for 2 weeks. Well, they never got married and the guy is still single till date. Let's learn to keep boundaries
ReplyDeleteThank God say your guy dey code with you too,no send her no confront her they flo with your guy they go jaree
ReplyDeleteJust pray that your guy will finalize everything then you take in as planned, forget her biko
Don't confront her please. Leave her the way she is but try to avoid her, she is a jealous woman
ReplyDeletePoster pls don't confront her but just know how to deal with her going forward because she obviously doesn't want you for her brother.
ReplyDeleteI think you have told her sha 🤭
ReplyDeleteI feel like you know she reads this blog because you definitely provided lots of details
Confront her only if you are ready to lose the marriage. Your husband to be has told you not to but you want to go against his advise? After confronting her what next? You think she will cease her nonsense? On the contrary she will unleash shege pro max. Be wise. Keep mute and continue to observe. Also be careful with your husband to be, observe him to be sure you are not entering one chance
ReplyDelete