Kids in Polygamous homes behave better when the man has money and there is fear among the wives of their kids losing out over bad characters.....
Or was your mum the only wife but your fathers sidechics will not let her breathe?
Or do you know polygamous stories that will shock us?
If you are part of this conversation, as man swear down that two wives will never happen to you,Its horrible if you ask me....
Lets gist!!!
Never been in a polygamous home, but stories I have heard, has been shocking. A monogamous marriage is alot , not imagining bringing 2 or more rivals into same home
ReplyDeletePolygamy isn't new to me as someone from a Muslim/pagan background. My paternal grandfather has three wives though one is late. My dad sef married a second wife that year but the marriage died a natural death years later after my parents relocated to Abuja in the early 2000s. Second wife has long remarried and my step brother(born a week after my immediate younger sister) lives with his mum and her husband. Being the first born, I try my best to carry him along so he doesn't feel left out. I don't encourage polygamy one bit and will go the Queen May way if my husband ever decides to flex his "African masculinty" by marrying a second wife. I can never be numbered as a wife.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder you're troublesome. Hmm 🤔
DeleteThis one where I grew up , the man was always rushed to the hospital anytime both wives have misunderstanding. One was like juddy Austin. She doesn't give the other wive the opportunity to spend time with her husband. She's the dominating type, I wish the other wive had same dominant energy. The introverted one didn't really enjoy her husband from my observation. The introverted one dare not come close anytime the dominant one is with the husband, and she is with the man almost all the time. The introverted one is even the first wife o. I just pitied her.
ReplyDeleteLol, they always cast strong demons out of the dominant wife anytime they did crusade in our church then. As children that we were, we loved to watch how they cast out demons from people and that woman always had a very strong demon, choi! Even her daughters omoh!
Singular - Wife
DeletePlural - Wives
😉
The children of the First wive became useless. I don't want to say what I am not sure of but the way the dominant wife behaves, never allowing the first wife to shine, always wanting to take the lead, etc, one will conclude she's the brain behind the other children's situation.
DeleteThe second wife was the one that first birthed a male child so that's what is giving her the audacity to act the way she does.
Oh, I didn't even notice the wive-wife error
DeleteFrom our neighbors experience I would always jump and pass anything polygamy. it can never be me
ReplyDeleteNever experienced it.
ReplyDeleteIts a life of strife and competition . 😒
Compliment of the season to all blog visitors.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am a living example if a person from a polygamous setting.
My father married my mother first and had me as first child when he had nothing
Later in life money started coming in cause he turned to politics and had appointments. Then our problem started. They women fought themselves except my mother who had moved out .He had 17 children from 4 women. One of the women was formerly married to his very good friend and colleague at work. Very shameful!
The woman was very diabolical. As I heard she was responsible for her husband's death. When the man died my father took over and had 3 children from her.
I don't really know the other women but they antagonized us the children from first and only legal wife . My brother is a victim of their diabolical ways as they have have blocked his ways .
Money finished without any thing to show for it. I went far away from them. Till now I have nothing with them
When he died,there was no money for burial. I was the only one working and doing well but they did not know my whereabouts. His body stayed for 11 months in the mortuary. No house, no money for burial until I surfaced and kick started the burial ceremony.
After the burial 7 years now, I have not stepped my foot in that family compound or relates with them. They are now trying to be close to me but I have disassociated myself from the family.
Just imagine what his selfishness caused his family. All because of sex some people will never think of it's effect on the family.
DeleteAll I typed about my polygamy experience wiped away, courtesy of all this non-sense add. It's not a palatable one rara. Till when I have the opportunity and strength to type again, although it's not a good memory to remember because whenever I think of it, my mind is always messed up.
ReplyDeleteI tried it but two of us wasn't enough for the man he'll be infecting me repeatedly.because he still slept with others I just dump the fool. This year found myself a new bobo and kicked him to the curb. I sent the kids to him this Christmas while I chilled with my new man oniranu
ReplyDeleteLol@oniranu
DeleteWow! You really take the bull by horn , you can't come and kill yourself Abeg 😜
Delete"he still slept with others"
DeleteThe infections may also have been from the other woman. Except if you have solid proof otherwise.
Even as a Muslim, I don't support polygamy.. my husband comes from a polygamous home and it's not pleasant at all
ReplyDeleteIf you look at them from a distance, you ll think that are perfect, but from within, the love is not real
I don't wish polygamy on my worse enemy
I don't think polygamy has any benefit than envy, strife and running kitikiti up and down to protect their children.
ReplyDeletePolygamy very common in my place . I frown ☹️ at it. Ya Allah grant me , my heart desire. 🤲
ReplyDeleteI hate polygamy. I detest polygamists.
ReplyDeleteWill post my story before the day runs out.
Polygamy brought me unecessary hardship and almost ruined my 8 years friendship with my then love interest (now wife).
I consider men who have multiple sex partners the most senseless people on earth,
Children from the other woman dare not show up during family meetings which are exclusive to me, my mother, and my siblngs. No extended family member caan afford to risk a confrontation with me.
If not for Christ, I woukd have sent the other women andvher children to the grave.
Later...
Typos were not intentional...phone screen don kpai.
Take it easy please. But this confrontation should be to your father that brought in the second wife
DeleteSometimes we leave the master minders and redirect energy to victims. Men should be blamed a whole lot of time for situations like this
DeleteNo kpai them just distance yourself from them.
DeleteHaven't had any will be here to read comments 😌🙄
ReplyDeleteI was Born into a Polygamy Home
ReplyDeleteMe and My Step Siblings are all cool oo till now.
Step Mom died after A year My Father passed..
We are all Christians o,
We even have Family Whatapp Group..
My step sibling do send My Mum something once awhile..
May God bless Them for me🙏🙏🙏
Growing up with My Step sibling wasn't really bad, then people hardly differentiate Who be Igbo Woman pikin
And Edo woman pikin..
We are Fine and good
Check up on each Other..
Hello iya Boys
They are not step then they are half
DeleteHalf are related to you by blood by one parent
Step are not related to you by blood but only marriage
Anon abiakwa. Which one is half and step again? What do you mean by half siblings are from one parents again? How can they be from one parents and still bear the 'half' tittle?
Delete@ Slim, m nt the anon but lemme explain cos the anon is ryt. Half sibling is wen a man has two or more wives and all of them have kids, the kids are half siblings, but wen a man has for example a wife and kids, then he marries a second wife wt kids from her previous marriage. The kids she would come with would become the step siblings of his own kids with his first wife. And they would be his step kids too. I hope u understand now. U can use google too for a more detailed explanation
DeleteOh! Thank you so much anon 22:32.
DeleteI've been mixing this up all these while 😩
My papa is living in regrets now. Telling all his friends and family how he is suffering . I no blame am. Price of diapers don cost for market and to make matters worse, he is retiring next year . He never see anything cos as I am seeing his second wife like this, she came with proper second wife energy. She go continue to dey born until she levels the playing field. ie: birth equal number of kids with my mum.
ReplyDeleteI am from a polygamous family. No love among us. Competition,envy and spiritual wickedness,from different angles. The mental torture and the hypocrisy is top notch. I am still traumatised,can't fully relate with my half siblings. 😌😌😌
ReplyDeletePart (1)
ReplyDeleteThe Beginning
My parents were muslims and civil servants when they got married and started a family.
I am the first born in a family of six - Father, Mother, 3 Male children and one female.
Family life was fun, peaceful, and promising because my parents quickly climbed up the ladder as civil servants.
I recall numerous trips to Lagos for vacation. Life was good until 1987; but before then, I considered my father the most wonderful person on earth.
A Shift
My father resigned from civil service commission in 1987 and registered a limited liability company.
As the first born, I read the Article of Memorandum and learned about shares, allotment and other nitty gritty of family owned business.
Something...
During the business registration process, I was initially alloted 20% of the shares; but something happened - my father suddenly made a u-turn and changed the shares to 5%.
No explanation was given until we discovered that one woman who had a daughter for one popular magician (late) and four other children for three different men was made a shareholder. She had no children for my father until 1990.
There was an elaborate plan to set up a corporate bank account and shareholders' accounts for profits sharing, but nothing came out of it. Instead my father registered a business enterprise in his name and used it to do business.
The LLC did not transact any business till God helped me to leave Nigeria in the mid nineteen nineties.
A Change In Family Structure
From that point on, life became unbearable for us at home. My father abandoned us and started taking care of the woman and her children from other men.
Countless times he sent us packing ftom home until he finally brought the woman and her children to live with us. She occupied the first floor whilst we lived upstairs.
But then, to afflict my mother, my father insisted that she must use the kitchen downstair to prepare her meal.
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A bad marriage is – whether polygamous or monogamous.
ReplyDeleteMen and women weep too in monogamy.
Both the husband and the wives share equal blame in polygamy.
Some men asked for more wives.
Some wives ask for more wives (strange but true).
Some wives joined knowing that there is a wife or there are wives in the homestead.
It is a wonder why husbands mostly get the sticks even from children of second wives.
Some of us who stone polygamy are second/third wives’ children. But we never stop to ask why our mothers said yes. It is agreed that some of them had no say then. Can today’s second to Z wives say they also have no say on choice of husbands?
If some of us, the children of the first wife know what our mothers did and compare what we enjoyed in the marriage being a polygamy, we would support polygamy than the other option or condemn it.
Some husbands who are monogamous today are because of the lessons of polygamy not necessarily because of the pleasure(s) of monogamy. What they have seen in monogamy makes the men more understanding of the polygamous choices of other men or their fathers.
All the complaints and shaming against polygamous families/marriages exist also in monogamous families. The Chronicles we read here about marital challenges are mostly from women in or out of monogamous marriages or “relationships or situationships”. What about siblings’ issues? As this is being typed, there are siblings of the same father and mother of monogamous marriages who are in court over the right to inheritance or to a share of it. For now, forget about siblings who cross the marital spousal beds of siblings (Have we read chronicles here of such?).
The main problem with polygamy is selfishness. Where there is selfishness in monogamy it is as bad as or worse than it is in polygamy. The sad part of marriage is that monogamy does not guarantee selflessness of any of the parties.
A bad marriage is – whether polygamous or monogamous.
Men and women weep too in monogamy.
Is polygamy supported? No.
Does monogamy guarantee joy and goodness? No It only removes the second wife alibi for a failing husband or failing wife or both..
Part 2
ReplyDeleteBling Bling Attraction
As a principal mechanical engineer, my father periodically approached his rich friends to tender for earth moving machines which state government disposed of to make room for new ones.
So he got his friends to loan him money which he used to buy the machines as scraps. He fixed them and was in business.
As at 1987 each of four out of five machines (Two Graders, One Bulldozer, and one Excavator) earned 8,000 naira a day. On many ocassions contractors paid at least 20 days in advance.
My father came to money as a retired level 12 civil servant and did not bother about his pension.
He suddenly became a politician and was popular in the city. He had money to throw around, sleep with different women, took care of his trophy wife and her children; but did not consider his biological children worthy of his new found wealth.
Witchcraft
It was obvious that my father was bewitched.
One day he went to the other woman's room and brought out all mannet of charms, black clay pots with different fetish stuff.
The woman came back home, saw her charms displayed outside for all to see (my father invited people in the neighborhood into his compound). The woman packed her stuff inside and that was the end of the show. Nothing came out of it.
Seeking Spiritual Help
All my childhood friends left high school in 1986 but mine did not happen until 1989. No thanks to a motor accident that set me back almost three years (Polygamy was not responsible).
In 1990, a political associate advised my father to send me to a Polytechnic in the UK to prepare me for an admission into Oxford University. It was a program introduced for foreign students without "A Levels". The total cost for one year pre-degree program was 39,000 naira.
My father replied "FJ is not my only child." It was then I decided to step out for spiritual fortification.
By 1990, I was old enough to move around and I did fiddle with charms. There was war at home but my concern was spiritual protection and progress.
I went to several places lookng for protection and to gain my father's attention.
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Part 3
ReplyDeleteIt did not occur to me that my waka waka was going to cause problem in the future.
Divine Encounters
I started as a muslim indoctrinated to point out 'seemng contradictions' in the Bible, but when the other woman disrupted our family structure, I lost interest in Islam and took to charms, white garment churches, Rosricrutian, and other devilish practices. I was not mentally advanced (unlike now) to kill the other woman.
As fate would have it, the Almighty God used my quest for spiritual help to win me over through a chain of events and the war at home took a new turn.
I left Nigeria in 1995 after a two year delayed by June 12 saga in 1993 and a revisit in 1994.
My father did not have the tiniest idea how I did it. It was God. I handed him my admisdion packets (I-20, Admisdion letter and receipt of $500 deposit).
I believed God intervened because he gave me money to secure international passport. He also bought me a 30-day ticket with $500 BTA.
I left Nigetia without knowing anybody in America and no financial support from my father.. It was rough maintaining my student visa status, combined with janitorial work and professional certification...but God helped me.
I achieved the American dream by 2002 before God instructed me to move back to Nigeria.
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Part 4
ReplyDelete/b>A Shift In My Life
In 1995 October, the Lord graciously led me to the ministry of Watchman Nee. Through his publications, my spiritual life was deepen and I gave up all worldly ambitions in order to do the will of God at any cost.
I relocated to Nigeria in 2004 because God instructed me to...
The Other Woman Again
My father lost his business in 1998 and came to ruins. He lived on monthly allowance from me.
I gathered that my father took the woman to a customary court for dissolution of their union. I saw the jidgment. (I am clueless about their marriage arrangement)
She flagrantly flaunted her affair with other men so that my father would send her away. All these happened in my absence. They went their separate ways after 2 children - a boy and a girl.
So when I moved back to Nigeria in 2004, the woman came to greet me. Her children too frequented my house. (I have totally surrendered to Christ, so aggression. bitterness, and hatred were no longer in my heart). All I cared for was to lead souls to Christ but I was wrong.
I jokingly said to the woman in 2004: this is twenty first century. I was so fecking ignorant of the evil she was up to.
Money for WAEC
One fateful day, her first son came to me and asked for money to redit his WAEC exam. I gave her a sim of money in cash. The boy left.
A few minutes after he left, suddenly I saw him and his mother in an open vision. The woman was talking to him. She specifically told him to put the money he was going to collect from me in his left pocket. She warned him to avoid combining the money with his transport fate.
I was shocked to the bone by the open vision. (Open vision and Word of knowledge are my core spiritual gifts).
I called my father and invited him to my house. Told him what I saw. He asked "ki la ma se bayi?" ("What are supposed to donow?").
The truth came out when the second born came to my house and I asked if her brother had registered for WAEC. She looked at me surprisingly and said "he is not planning to write WAEC."
Long and short, God revealed a lot to me during a protracted warfare to equip me for a spiritual service. I discovered a lot about the world of darkness, spells from the other woman just to get rid of me. She learned by divination that I am the barrier between her and the properties she wants to get for her children.
Plenty unpleasant stories about polygamy.
I did not proofread or edit this note.
Sorry for typos and errors.
Don’t do it! It is not for the weak, nor is it for the sane. Not everything that is permissible is good to do. Our story needs a whole movie with tons of sequels and prequels, and messy too.
ReplyDelete