Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

WHEN A WOMAN HAS HAD ENOUGH.

I am a woman who walked away from a marriage. I walked away with two kids. We were together for 10 years and married for 5. I know how our society gives lesser regard to divorcees. I know walking away from something I gave 10 years of my life to is not the easiest undertaking. I know I will struggle with two kids but I did it all the same.

I met my husband as a fresh recruit into the organization we work in. I met him while trying to get documentation done. One thing led to another and we started ‘dating’. My husband has a spec, slim and petite ladies and I fit in. But I certainly was not enough. Our relationship was not really defined until I got pregnant. I panicked or rather we panicked and had it aborted.

My husband, is a smooth talker with his ways with women. He has an insatiable s#x drive that I tried to keep up with. Few weeks after the abortion I had, I took in again. I can’t explain how it happened. Needless to say, I was advised medically not to terminate it due to how fragile my womb is. In my culture, dowry is not paid on a pregnant woman’s head. Since my husband accepted responsibility, my people were okay with me staying with him pending when I gives birth and he does the marital rites later. I gave birth and my people were waiting. My husband, citing financial difficulties, kept postponing his visit to my people. Until I took in 2 years later. He was forced to go and do the marital rites after the birth of our second child. Monies were raised for him from different quarters to make that possible.

Let me mention at this point that my second child was through CS. I almost passed. We spent 5 days in the hospital. We got discharged. Yes that night, through pains, we still had s#x. My husband insisted.

My husband, was a low level staff(level 8) in the federal civil service and wasn’t earning much. We were was living on loans practically. He was collecting loans to pay loans. Loans from his bank and different loan apps were what he was using to push through until it became untenable. Rent, feeding and upkeep of family suffered. On several occasions, friends and family would give him money or foodstuff. 

Still a student, I was engaged in tailoring children’s clothes for additional income. At some point, my husband started garri business and was supplying to restaurants. With time, even that capital got eaten. My mother had to sell her land to give us some money to start a business. Nothing came out of it.

Through all these troubling times, my husband, could still find time and money for his numerous flings. It wasn’t long before I noticed. I am not by any means book smart. But if there is one thing I know to hell and back, it is cloning phones. I started seeing email alerts of my husband sending money to different ladies. I could view his chats with these ladies and read where he was booking hotels to spend time with them. I battled one infection after another. After each confrontation, he would promise to change. He never did. His financial situation improved at a point and he got a new phone. Relaxed and thinking I wouldn’t be able to keep tabs on him anymore, he became even more reckless. He would travel out with a fling to go spend time. Until I cloned his phone again.

What broke me was earlier this year, we arranged for a family outing to celebrate the new year. My husband had met a particular lady who was more than a fling this time. They were actually in relationship. They were scheduled to be together on the date I had picked for our family outing. I saw her messages and heard her voice notes where she was pleading and crying to spend time with him. I read his chats with her promising to make it up to her. 

Needless to say, I kept my cool. 

My husband continued with this lady(she is 19) for months. They were exchanging nudes as well. She got pregnant at some point and she aborted. He would tell me he is travelling but go to a hotel with her and spend days. I saw her one day and admittedly she was more beautiful than I am. She was his spec. I went home and cried bitterly.

I began plotting. One evening, I told my husband that I was stepping out to get some items. From his chats, I knew he had no plans to go out that evening so I left the kids with him. I went to a friend’s place and warned her not to tell anyone I was with her. Close to midnight, my husband started calling endlessly. I ignored those calls for two days. I only came out when I heard that the police were getting involved. On my walk home, I met my husband walking down the street. He didn’t go to work.

 He accosted me asking where I went to. I simply told him that I had found love as well and gone to spend time with my lover. He descended on me with blows but I equally gave as good as I got and bit off a part of his ear. A crowd gathered and separated us.

He called my dad demanding an end to the marriage. I saw his chats with his people where they were plotting to come and take my kids away. His mom had earlier called and I opened up to her about her son's cheating even though I had mentioned same to her several times past. Before they could take my kids away one particular noon, I moved with them. We took nothing but the clothes we wore.

I am currently with my people together with my kids. My husband’s people have met my dad to initiate the steps to dissolve the marriage. They have refused collecting back my dowry. Someone told them that if they do so, they will have no claims on our kids. I have asked him to be bold enough to get the marriage dissolved by collecting back the bride price. 

He is refusing. He has been bringing different ladies to our home to sleep with. They even wear my clothes. In one day, I was informed that 4 different ladies had come to be with my husband one after the other. As much as I found it disrespectful, I did not care. He can do whatever suits him.

Friends and family have tried talking to me and getting me to change my mind. It is all falling on deaf ears. I will not wish what I went through on any woman. As much as I did not want our home to break up, I cannot stand the emotional torture knowing that my husband prefers other women to me. Tomorrow our kids may understand or they may not. But for today, this is the best decision I have made for us.

OMG...Please stay where you are if it gives you peace of mind...The man will be a walking cocktail of diseases, please do not ever allow him between your legs again!!!