Hmmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED
I need some advice to help reset my mindset.....
It seems like he might have noticed my feelings, he often finds ways to sit closer to me and chat. Laugh out loud and handles most of my responsibilities without me asking. He keeps me updated on everything happening around him even things that aren’t particularly important.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle.
I need some advice to help reset my mindset.....
I work closely with a younger married male colleague, and honestly, I'm finding it hard to maintain my boundaries.
He is two steps ahead of me, always so kind and has a wonderful scent, and each day I watch myself looking forward to seeing him. I don’t want anything beyond being a colleague, as I’ve made a personal decision not to date younger or married men.
As soon as I realize you are married or that I’m older than you, every feeling dies instantly yet there’s something about this guy that’s driving me crazy.
It seems like he might have noticed my feelings, he often finds ways to sit closer to me and chat. Laugh out loud and handles most of my responsibilities without me asking. He keeps me updated on everything happening around him even things that aren’t particularly important.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle.
Come back and tell us how you gbe*********
ReplyDeleteSEE YOU, SEE FIRE
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Stella iri worski 😅😂 Madame Abeg quench thé feelings. However you wanna do it please sue the matter bc you are setting yourself up for office disrespect and marital interference. No let the devil sing reggae blues for your 👂.
DeleteWe have warned you 🙌🏽
Ahewo
ReplyDeleteKeep quiet you dimwit
DeleteShe has done nothing wrong.
Feelings are natural ,she overwhelmed with it and asking for wise counsel
If you have nothing reasonable to say keep it moving.
Do you know how many women who go through this have no one to talk to ending messing their lives up.
Your generation is ahewo
Rie nsi rijuo nsi onu.
16:43
DeleteWe dey sabi defend women walking towards adultery.
We know we are wrong that is why we use C words to scare further comments.
Like whistling in the dark to gada courage.
Like using a mallet to divide water melon.
#Yimmu
Please dear think far
DeleteIf you start anything and it goes south you will hate your job .
Fight it you can....
It happened to me with one of my customer but because I set the rules of never dating any of my customers
It was hard but I fought the feelings
Now he is always flaunting his babe and I said what if anything happened?
I choose my integrity over a temporary thing with any man
Wetin go come down my steeze if to say I fuckup
Stay away from street, neighbor , coworker or customers
You better respect yourself🙄.
ReplyDeleteNot only respect herself o.
DeletePoster, na Satan dey push you so o. He doesn't come with a rush, he starts by putting thoughts in our heart very subtly and you'll think they are your thoughts.
Eve didn't eat the apple in one day, it might have taken 10 years who knows. Flee from that guy. It will not end well.
At the end of the day, your decisions are totally yours. You made the decision on who to date and who not to, so why are you struggling with your own rules? You have the yam, you have the knife. What you do, the excitement and the consequences are all yours. You are not a victim.
ReplyDeleteBe careful poster. It is better you wake from your slumber, you are already lusting after him.pinch yourself and tell yourself ' you can't date him'. Hi pray he won't eat and clean mouth before the scales fall off your eyes. Try to avoid him and unnecessary chat with him as much as possible, he dey use you catch cruise..
ReplyDeleteHow is he using her to catch cruise?
DeleteDo you people have a default mode to blame a guy no matter the circumstances?
Woman see man wey dey happily married, she still dey trip for am.
Yet, na the innocent man you dey blame
My sister you Don over watch equatorial guinea office videos.....
ReplyDeleteIf you like him,, toast aam
no big deal
Toast a married man? You are advising her to put her fingers in a burning fire..Poster withdraw your closeness and avoid this man asap.
DeleteAnuty young male married colleague? Hmmm...Na genital meet and greet you dey find abi....You sure want to get burnt....No advice for you because you will still do what is in your mind.....And continue allowing him to do your work okay, when it is time for promotion or salary increment and your name is nowhere to be found...Don't start complaining that you were shortchanged.....
ReplyDeleteAnd don't play the victim oh...
All the best, lover of a young male married colleague...
Dey play. Till the wife na.ked pray against you for midnight before your eyes go clear.
ReplyDeleteAll that you see is probably the work the wife put in him.
After tendering her garden and it's budding, you want to reap? Lol .
Consciously limit your interactions with him and ensure you don't give room for you both to see often.
If he's all these at home and more, better ready to face severe consequences if you allow yourself to cross the line. cos the wife won't spare you.
There are other single men even better than him out there. Pray for yours. And if he comes like raw gold, try to also patiently and tenderly polish him to your taste.
Poster this is atomic bomb waiting to explode. Please distance yourself from him because it won't end well if anything happen between you two. He may start disrespecting you. See finish promax will be the end game.
ReplyDeletePoster Oshe Baddest. So you want us to advise you. Confam AheWO u there catching feeling.
ReplyDeleteThis is the devil trying to braid your hair, you better steer clear because he is young, married and smells nice and helps sometimes doesn't mean you should be infatuated, madam. Leave him the hell alone except you have found a new job and you like to be embarrassed after giving your cookies out to a married young man that smells nice. oshisko
ReplyDeleteRESPECT YOUR OLD AGE AND FOCUS
ReplyDeleteMao Akuh
By all means reduce the constant interactions with him, so cool you've set your boundaries don't scatter it with your hands dear poster. This colleague of yours cef to do bad thing dey him body 🙄😏
ReplyDeleteSister, no dey cut through corners. Na una type thunder dey find🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeletePoster, show some respect for yourself😒
She asked if it happens to you guys and you’re bashing her for something that happens to everyone including most of you. Instead of you to calmly advice her, you’re being hypocritical
ReplyDeleteExactly, meanwhile some of them even had a thing for their teachers in school.
DeletePoster, you have a breakthrough around the corner. Flee from temptation before the devil makes you stagnant.
DeleteAre you minding them! Their hypocrisy stinks.
DeleteMy dear its like na me and u reason am. So mean
DeleteThank you anon. The way everyone turns saint in this blog when issues come up makes me wonder.
DeleteSomeone is asking for advice and you are calling her ashawo. If she is ashawo she will not need your advice.
Never had feelings for a married man, except I had no idea that he was married. Wetin wan carry me go there kwanu? God forbid.
DeleteInfatuations and feeling exist but you can nail it before it nails and disgraces you on that job. You are not the only one that noticed his scent and aura, other women did too. They have eyes. He is already your colleague, can he be a colleague more than he is a colleague?
ReplyDeleteGive the several single men coming your way a chance and stop this iberiberism. After you people are done with your bad decision making, you will start blaming innocent people for the outcome of those decisions. Dedicate your youth into dating single and available men, then make a choice.
Your veejay is not a dustbin. Value it.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Your veejay is not a dustbin. Value it.
DeleteWell said.
So he’s your office husband. Please do not emotionally entangle this young man so that he strays from the emotional bond he should have with his wife and become dependent on you to fulfill only what his spouse should.
ReplyDeleteNobody’s boundaries are so strong they won’t tear them down if they want. People tear down their own boundaries every single day for reasons best known to them. So trusting on yourself that you are strong enough is not enough. Even King Solomon and his father fell when they thought and believed they were so connected to God and would never do certain things.
Just enjoy him being a good colleague
ReplyDeleteDoesn’t mean he wants anything
If you’re unsure then ask him if he knows any good guys for you…
Dear Poster, you are human and it can happen. I think what you need to know is that, satan tempt in different ways to make you fall. You are probably at the edge of a breakthrough you may not even know. Flee from this temptation for the sake of your advancement and also not to commit sin.
ReplyDelete2. Your love languages are act of service and quality time. Stop this guy from offering you help and stop with him from updating you about his life. Keep everything professional.
I'm rooting for you to Overcome this temptation and I know you will by the help of God. Don't forget to pray.
Likes
DeleteLeave him alone..
ReplyDeleteWhat advice are u asking for?
Don't start what you can't finish. I don't subscribe to any office or work romance at all. At the end of the day is usually insults, see finish, anger, hatred, monitoring, premium tears.
ReplyDeleteControl your emotions and create a boundary.
Yes! Everyone if we are truthful has been in this situation. As long as you are human, you have feelings.
ReplyDeleteSolution:
Stick with your values. He is married and can’t help you. There is always a saying that “things that are hidden are sweet until it comes to light”. The shame that follows will never be worth it.
As you make your bed (choices) so you will lie on it (consequences).
I can't advice you bcos you don already dey fantasies the gbola, na for the guy to bend u inside office remain SMH
ReplyDeleteDear poster,
ReplyDeleteI just want to tell you that it is OK to be attracted to someone who is not your partner. BUT, you don't need to act on these feelings.
You need to remind yourself constantly about this and also as soon as you cross the line, one or 2 actions, attraction go vanish.
Try to avoid him in a not too obvious and u friend way.
Keep reminding yourself why you need to.
Office romance
After drilling your hole and making you cum multiple times, he will dump you!
ReplyDeleteShe fit no cum sef.
DeleteNa long throat.
Na anoda woman husband dey sweet some women.
He knows that your are already falling for him. Your body language tells him so.
ReplyDeleteYou are older than him and he's married too. Don't disgrace yourself.
Stay away from him and mind your business.
Please whatever you do or planning in your head, do not make his wife shed tears. Her cries will reach heaven ooo
ReplyDeleteDear poster, you're not alone, I am very sure it has happened to most us. Just stay away from him, kill every feeling you have for him.
ReplyDeleteGod is your strength
In addition to the good advice some people here have given you, add intermittent fasting and prayer to it. This helps to keep the desire of the flesh in check.
ReplyDeleteAbort that feelings immediately.
ReplyDeletePoster, flee from temptation
ReplyDeleteSet your boundaries,reduce constant communication,you are working together so I guess you must always be interacting but make it strictly work ,it's well with you
ReplyDeleteThis thing called feelings ehhh.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, he knows that you have feelings for him.
Just try harder to work on yourself and feeling, by creating boundaries.😎😎
Hello poster, we are human and emotions are natural, but it's our responsibility to manage them. Stay true to your values regarding relationships. When I find myself infatuated with someone, I ask myself where this could lead. If we take things further, what's the next step? Will it be a meaningful connection or just a fleeting moment? If the latter, I remind myself that this person has nothing substantial to offer beyond physical attraction.
ReplyDeletePlease don't act on impulse and risk regret.
Colleagues will always be part of our lives, so it's essential to guard your emotions wisely. As XP would say, 'Use a padlock and lock your Veejay against that guy. He knows what he is doing by leading you on. He is enjoying the attention. Maintain a healthy distant relationship with him.
On no reason should you be found alone with him till this infuriation fades.
You will be fine.
"He knows what he is doing by leading you on."
DeleteDon't we get tired of shifting blames? Of using men as cannon fodders for our foibles? Of the woman refusing to accept responsibility once a man is in the equation?
If you read this story well, you would have seen that the green light was first given by Poster.
The best that can be said of this story is that there is a mutual attraction. That is what the Poster sought to achieve by her over explanation of her values, but it is clear she was/is hungry and , if at all, the man smelled/is smelling her advertised hunger. Is that what you call leading on?
A single woman advertising her hunger before a married man is being led on by the man.
Abegi
Better respect yourself and have self-esteem,sex is not everything,maintain your distance otherwise you will loose all that you have respect, motivational and that laughter and at the end he won't leave his wife for you period ,you will loose everything
ReplyDeletePls erase this feelings completely.he's married.The devil brings some imaginations and thoughts to us inorder to mislead and destroy,we have got to be careful with decision making.
ReplyDeleteThe right man whom God has truly destined for you will find you.
It's futile advising a woman in love/lust.
ReplyDeleteDear Ma
ReplyDeletePlease, PERISH that idea.
HE IS MARRIED
HE IS MARRIED
HE IS MARRIED.
Am sure you won't like it if a lady wants to start this with your husband.
Please, never be the reason another woman is crying.
He might just be nice, perish that feeling you have.
Catch up with Sunday Stella Mingles post, you can reach out to the guys that dropped their email and phone number
Just two questions:
ReplyDeleteWhat would you advise "horny you" to do if you are the wife of the man.
How do you feel when you read the tearful chronicles here of women married to adulterous men?
By the way, I am a male. I do not support adultery because I have seen its d3@thly consequences.
Nice advice! But I always try to never advise people along that line, though I get tempted to. One thing I have noticed is that it is a total waste of time.
DeleteMost people lack the empathy or the sensitivity to put themselves in other people's shoes. No matter how much they try, they just can't! If people put themselves in others' shoes, a lot of things wrong with the world today wouldn't be.
Most people are too self-serving and too unbothered to imagine themselves as someone else for a few seconds. Everyone feels they are better. Naturally, a man who has a wife at home but still seems to enjoy/encourage the attention (like she subtly implied) should repel her, no? But everyone believes they are special compared to others.
No matter how she tries to imagine herself as the wife whom the husband is being lusted after, she would never fully grasp the pain, anxiety, sadness, hurt, etc. that the wife would feel because it isn't her. Not until the day she finds herself in that position.
Poster, you should try and keep the relationship as platonic possible. Might sound cliché, but married men rarely leave their wives so what are you hoping to get from the relationship? You will only end up with a broken heart. Remain flirty friends.
ReplyDeletePumpkin
Nne just Close ya Eyes And Open it The Feeling will be going gone...
ReplyDeleteHello iya Boys
Poster is it a crime for somebody to be nice to you? So you want to start misinterpreting someone's niceness and friendliness for another thing?
ReplyDeleteYou want to make him start nurturing what was ,not in his mind initially? Leave somebody's husband alone please. I hope somebody flirts with your husband if you eventually marry.
It will never end well
ReplyDeleteReading through all the comments, it really breaks my heart the way the poster was called out and label as ashewo. In this life , being honest is one of the way we could avoid trouble. And there is nothing having feelings for people we don't have relationships with and sometimes we even fantasise about some people we love. That is where self control comes in.if you haven't give substance to your feelings, you are alright. All what the poster need is self control and setting boundaries to prevent her falling into unplanned relationships. They could still be very good friend;but with boundaries. Poster nothing is wrong with you, you are just normal human being like all of us who have feelings. Your own relationship will find you sooner than you realise. And to some readers it is not by force to comment, stop judging people harshly as if we are not all humans with feelings. I believe the poster will overcome this challenge and come out of the other side with victory without turning the other guy into her enemy.
ReplyDelete