Hmmmmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SERIOUS ISSUE
For eight long years, I was married to a man who couldn't handle the pressure of our childlessness. Despite his words of love and support, he secretly married another woman, tradtionally, without even informing me. His sister had to break the news to me from the traditional wedding venue with pictures.
When he returned, I confronted him, but he turned violent. I allowed him to return to his base as we live and work in different states.
I left the house, heartbroken to a friends house with few of my cloths. I needed company and someone to talk with. He didn't call or come after me. I went to our house after three weeks and behold he has packed our things to his base. I cried my eyes out that day. I still cry any minute I remember it.
He lied to his friends, saying I packed his belongings and left that is why he married another woman . I rented my own small apartment and thought I have moved on
Five years passed by without any communication. I tried reaching out once, but he ignored me.
July this year. I met someone in my place of work. One thing led to another and the result is pregnancy.
He is talking marriage and he wants it quickly. We had a deep discussion and My guy is my ex' cousin. The son of his dads elder brother. They are in serious loggerhead with this cousin due to land issues. They don't talk to each other. My world is crashing. I am two months gone already.
What is your World crashing for? You are finally pregnant after so long and it shows that you were not the one at fault...Must you marry him? Are you not old enough to takecare of the child?There will be a lot of issues with this family if you marry this cousin .....For now, just concentrate on your pregnancy...You did not tell us if you are properly divorced from your ex and you also did not tell us why you tried reaching out to him
Good thing is there are no kids between you and your first husband. My sister, ride on, nothing do you but will your new man be able to withstand the thought of his cousin nacking you for 8 years? Men worry about those things unless it’s not a serious relationship and it can cause friction in your impending marriage whether he’s in good terms with his cousin or not.
ReplyDeleteThis exactly my worry.
DeleteRide on baby. He nacked you for eight years but all he did in actual fact was shoot blanks!
DeleteEight years with zero pregnancy talk less kids, is nothing!
Ride on!
Whatever you decide to do, pls keep the baby
DeleteThis isn’t so much of an issue. Just marry him, the family will adjust with time. You’re lucky to be pregnant. If the situation gets out of control, opt for the single mom route. Everyone will adjust. In everything you do, put yourself first & think of the child. Do not on any account allow anyone influence your decision especially if it won’t be to your favor.
ReplyDeleteHow did you not know he is your ex husband's cousin? The surname didn't hit a nerve?
ReplyDeleteEver heard of maternal cousins?
DeleteDumbass
DeleteThere are some people that make thier children use their name has surname instead of the family and by this you see cousins with different surname.
DeleteThere are some people that make thier children use their name has surname instead of the family and by this you see cousins with different surname.
DeleteAnd Anons, you people don't see this or what? "The son of his dads elder brother"
DeleteInstead of you to think that it's possible for them to not answer the same surname, you are here abusing.
Poster if the guy is still interested in marriage and you love him please go ahead and marry him. If he’s not interested please be a happy you won. Raise your child in love and happiness.
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
Life is complicated and there should be a long discussion on the other side also because cousins are blood related .
ReplyDeleteSince they don't talk to each other it's your luck babe
DeleteNo one to oppose or talk to the guy otherwise about the marriage nah
Use the opportunity and tie the knot before one pastor will come and reconcile them o
Hmmm! He treated you unfairly, why were you trying to reach out after the maltreatment?
ReplyDeleteWhatever you think, don't take out the baby, your relationship doesn't have to end in marriage, you can both coparent peacefully and if he doesn't mind.... Carry go with the marriage.
Can’t comprehend how some people reason though. Someone treated you like trash, and you were still waiting for him to come beg you. He did worse and you were still reaching out. Thank goodness he faced his front , if not ehnnn, you were happy to be in a triangle
DeleteAverage Nigerian women's pick me attitude.
DeleteInstead of you to delete that mofucker ex from existence.
What are you still doing with your ex's number???
8 years?
Then flung you out like a used pad.
Left you with nothing but the clothes on your back in this harsh cold world.
You've finally seen a Nigerian man who appears like he can treat you like a human being and you're here wailing like a toddler.
Abeg just shift, the sun was too hot today.
Let me see sensible things to use my brain cells for.
Your world is not crashing Poster. You happiness is just beginning. Please take care of that pregnancy with everything you have got. That innocent child is all that matters now.
ReplyDeleteSo what is crashing ur world.. He is aware of ur history and still wants to marry you, so, you are even pregnant 💃for him and u are bother about any other person..
ReplyDeleteDid they care about u and ur feelings.. Please enjoy ur life and new marriage, this is ur second chance to love don't miss it..
Congratulations
He is aware of my history but he is not aware that the history was with his cousin. His reaction when I told him his cousin is my ex spoke volume. He shouted so loud and later calmed down. He has avoided the discussion since then
DeleteGive him time to adjust to the information..u can't change ur past,he is ur future, don't get too bothered if he wants you fine,if he can't live with ur past,good,the most important thing is ur baby and ur peace of mind.. take your time dear❤️
DeleteHa. The world can be simple and difficult at the same time.
ReplyDeleteYou finally got a much awaited blessing and now see questions Stella and society will ask. Meanwhile for a woman in your condition, you need a lot of peace, top health and adequate rest. Na wa
Anyway you have to the heart of a lion and hope that your lover is also bold to forge their path beyond societal judgment without empathy crew.
There are so many couples that are daring the society stigma or judgment to enjoy their happiness (as long as it's not a crime) check your celebs, and the society eventually adjust and accept those ones.
I appreciate your submission.
DeleteEgbami, how is your world crashing, abeg marry him it means you belong to the family, you don't owe anyone your happiness biko, congrats
ReplyDeleteMarry him. He said fck you so you say fck you too. Marry the man who has redeemed you before all to see, you here forming mumu. Eat well, rest well and let that baby grow healthy and strong in you. And have a good and easy birthing. Tf you care about anyone’s feelings for. You took the dyck so take the ring too and live your life in peace and happiness. You out here worried about the heart of a wicked man. Your ex-husband was a damn wicked man, what tf you worried about him for? If God doesn’t care about the wicked then why should you.
ReplyDeleteBeat you, tossed you the hell out, remarried within the blink of an eye, you finally get redemption and the chance at happiness and out here worried about some gutter scum. Instead of discovering news ways to love your man and the baby growing inside of you, there you are forming confused. You better reset your brain and thought processes!
Some women have no mind of their own. Seems she's one of them.
DeleteI am not worried about my ex. I am only worried about my guy and his immediate family. His parent and siblings. Will he still go ahead with the marriage?. Will his people accept me when they hear of my past.
DeleteThe baby is already made, the horse has already gone through the gates. Let you both live your lives and get on with it. I hope he has the balls to do the right thing and not look back worried about what ppl will say.
DeleteLife has a way of really messing with us. Of all the men that you could have met and procreated with in a country of almost 300 million ppl, it’s his cousin you found😂 I actually freaking love it, what his dyck couldn’t do the cousin’s did. My azz is too petty. Anyhow, keep your baby and May God protect and keep you safe throughout the pregnancy. I hope that you have a beautiful and healthy baby that brings a lifetime of joy to you both. Let the wedding bells ring👰🏾♀️
Those are the deep type if questions you should have asked before fli-inging legs open.
DeleteToo late for 20 questions now.
Even if you dont marry, you will not die, I promise.
You still have your baby.
I don't see any issues
ReplyDeleteI don't see any issues
ReplyDeleteHnmm this is serious o. Whatever you do please just make sure you take care of yourself and your pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I am so keeping the pregnancy with or without marriage.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have officially divorced your EX....?
Besides didn't the Surname ring a bell when you met or you guys just went straight to the point without consideration of details.
They answer different surnames. My guy bears his dad's name while my ex also bears his own dad's name. Maybe they stopped bearing their grandparents name due to family issues.
DeleteWhy is this a problem? You still worry about what he will think, he moved on and did not give a F about how you felt, why should you worry about being with his cousin
ReplyDeletePoster why are you stressing your self???
ReplyDeletePlease relax and take care of yourself,if he is willing to marry and support you,marry him.
Whatever decision you take poster, please don't abort your pregnancy.
If she aborts it, who will impregnate her again? She will remain childless.
DeleteAnon 17:10: I send that curse back to you. Did you read the Chronicle? You don't know my story except this chronicle so please take your curse and make soup.
DeleteCongratulations on your pregnancy..I wish you a safe pregnancy journey and that you get to meet your bundle of joy in peace.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I noticed here on chronicle is that, most of you women often omit informations and only narrate the areas that suit good to you people.
ReplyDeleteFor your information, you're still married to your husband if your bride price hasn't been returned to him. Why not go the divorce route if you both don't want to be partner again?
Beside you can still raise your child alone. Marriage isn't all there's to life.
© TEEJAY
Bride price returned. He refused to collect so my dad took it to their traditional ruler. No idea if he collected it from him or not. I don't care anyway.
DeleteThe man is the one who broke the agreement and marital vow by going to marry someone else secretly. He left, so why should she be stressing herself on how to return bride price? He should pay her extra for wasting her youthful years in that godforsaken marriage instead. Woman, if I were you, I won't return any price so long as the fault didn't come from me. He has moved on ,so move on and don't look back, the pride price paid before has served it's term.
DeleteThe only thing I am not totally open with is marrying her ex's directly cousin. E get as the thing be
DeleteSlim Shady,
DeleteSometimes your comment leaves me so disappointed. What do you mean you will keep a bride price? Do you know what that does to some persons traditionally if they get married to someone else without the bride price returned.
This same scenario happened to my aunt. I have shared that story here. Both she and the new husband died mysteriously. To think she was warned about returning it
© TEEJAY
Return of bride price is the symbolic finale of a traditional divorce.
DeleteIt is akin to a decree absolute dissolving a marriage under the Act.
It has nothing to do with who was wrong or right.
Where a man has clearly left a marriage, would you advice a woman victim married under the Act not to obtain an order of court dissolving the marriage ?
Poster, your family should return the bride price fast.
DeletePoster,you're too dramatic. 🙄🙄🙄. What's crashing your world exactly? That you had unprotected sex with someone,who happens to your be your ex husband's cousin? Or you're not ready to be a mum yet? 🤔🤔🤔
ReplyDeleteYou're still worried about what your ex husband would say or feel after all the maltreatment? Omo... you are one of the most stupid women to be born. Jesus! Instead of you to be happy about your baby, you are worried about land issue that isn't your concern. Na your land? Na your family?
ReplyDeleteKindly read the Chronicle again before releasing the insults. I am worried they are first cousins. I went through hell in the hands of my ex. I cannot imagine myself in that family again. I also don't know how him and his parent will take the fact that I was once married to his cousin.
DeleteDey calm down nah🤣 Haba, no be everyone get stone heart
DeleteWow! Congratulations 🎉❤️🥰
ReplyDeleteThis is complicated. You will definitely be called many unprintable names: both by the family and public.
ReplyDeleteThe men are first cousins, so the blood link is a strong one!
You only met this man 3+ months ago, yet 2 months pregnant. In my opinion, you rushed into s*x ... and you're lucky the only thing you "caught" is a pregnancy.
Do you know this man well? Are you sure he's not using you to get back at his cousin, for the land dispute?
I don't know him very well. I also don't think he is trying to get back at me because of the circumstances we met.
DeleteYou don't know him very well.
DeleteBut you knew him enough to have sex with him?
Lolllll.
You'll be fine.
Big girl actions.
Big girl consequences.
Congratulations on your pregnancy
ReplyDeleteMay God keep you and The Baby Healthy 🙏🙏..
Hello iya Boys
he may not marry you poster, cos of the shame men get. Did you know my bf said if he hears i dated someone in my city, he will dissolve the relationship lol. Thats how fragile these men egos are. Please start assuming he wont marry you. das all
ReplyDeleteEXTREMELY fragile. They are literally like little children. Funny and very sad at the same time.
DeleteWhy is your world crashing?
ReplyDeleteSafe delivery 🙏 👏 in advance
ReplyDeleteI follow my sister say congratulations to your pregnancy,that pregnancy is very important for now ok wether marry or no marry take care of your unborn baby Hanty Maka future purpose, after all you have waited for this preggy for years abeg get sense nah 🙄😳
ReplyDeleteOf all the men in the world, you chose your ex husband's first cousin!
ReplyDeleteAnybody that tells you this isn't a serious matter is lying to you. It is serious. Very very serious .
I'm being a realist here, so I'll advice that you start prepping your mind. In case your new guy denies you, get ready to be a single mum.
Children are from the Lord. So whatever you do, do not think of abortion.
You had no idea that wee related. Just enjoy your pregnancy in peace and worry less
ReplyDeleteTake very good care of that baby pls, that is the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteDon't rush into marriage, wait and give birth first
Allow God to take the lead.
Dear Poster Congratulations
ReplyDeletePlease, concentrate fully on your baby and worry less about your ex husband and his cousin for now. They will be fine.
Or are you still in love with your ex husband? Let him go please