Hmmmm..
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ANGRY CHILD
Happy Day Everyone...
I need advise on how to handle a father that pretends and lies to be broke alllllll the time but still uses every opportunity to take from his kids.....
I saw my father's account balance and was shocked he has over 200,000n yet he complains of being broke everyday and makes me sometimes go out of my way to provide for him.
I can't even boast of that amount even as a salary earner. I give him 20k every month out of my 100,000n salary and buy his drugs and toiletries for him.
Once I told him I was broke and couldn't give him the 15k he requested for; he got angry with me.
This is the height of wickedness.that is how he extorted 500 dols from my brother to get a passport. I feel hurt and disappointed.i want to stop giving him money every month as i used to; what do you think???.
Hmmmmmm...I dont see anything wrong with the money he has and his not telling you how much he has .....It is obvious that if he had told you, you would have borrowed all of him, the old man is a hustler, why blame him?His children probably do not give him willingly so he has to device means to collect money....You want to stop giving him money? why? cos you saw money in his account? it is not your business how much he has, if you wanna bless him as his child, please do it and stop complaining.......Most of us here do more for our parents...
When my papa was alive, he did not lack anything, in fact if i asked him how much he had , he would say he was broke, we knew it was not true and we knew he was hiding money but it was OK......I miss my papa!!!
Please if you dont have it, fine but if you have and wanna give then please do so...... If you dont feel good giving your papa money, you are a wicked child
This is my two cents and i despise children who do not look after their parents but complain and complain!
I don’t think you should be as upset that u stop giving him the monthly stipends you give him cos I really don’t think he’s done enough harm to warrant that.
ReplyDeleteYour dad is very selfish and that’s unfortunate. Please reduce his allowance to N10,000 for the foreseeable future. It’s not like you earn enough money. You are giving him 20% of your income yet he keeps complaining of being broke. Actually, your dad is wicked!
DeletePoster don’t stop giving him but this time don’t go out of your way to give, just give what you have.
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
Don't stop giving just don't over stretch yourself since you can always do better next time, some of our parents does that, in most cases another sibling of yours is enjoying the money or hes doing father Christmas. Somewhere.
DeleteHow was he treating you when growing up? If he treated you well overlook it
DeleteExactly, don't bend over backwards to satisfy him, do what you can and move.
DeleteParents should not deliberately make life harder for their kids, if no be contidion, parents are not supposed to be the ones expecting from kids, it should actually be the other way round.
It's one thing if you had the means, but the fact that he knows you don't have a lot of it, and he's still stressing you this much is selfish of him.
Blue pen don over plenty
ReplyDeletePoster some of us still look out and wish our papa is still alive. When I remember he's no longer here with us and the money I usually give him every first and second Sunday of the month for town Union meetings, it hurts in a kinda way.
ReplyDeleteThe voice still rings in my head how he'll call to imfirm me of his church donations, rents, meeting dues. I feel so bad those responsibilities stopped with him passing away.
Pls take good care of your papa. You can't compare that with what he did for your upbringing.
© TEEJAY
*gives
Delete© TEEJAY
Poster you need wisdom....If you have, you give him...If you don't, let him know....You giving him money and then you are resentful and angry about his account balance....Please choose a struggle...
ReplyDeleteYou know your father more than us...Just do as your purse reach, comot eye from his money...
All the best
Dear Poster, please don't stop giving him the little you have monthly, God honours parent prayers more than others. May God continue to provide for you.
DeleteDon't stop giving him money, but no do pass your power.
ReplyDeleteShikena!
DeletePoster don't stop giving him the monthly stipend as long as you can afford it. Remove your eye from his account balance.
ReplyDeletePoster in this life do your part as a child is it because you saw his account balance ,give him if you have it's a privilege for you to still have parents,the only amendments there is for you to voice it out to him that dad pls don't be angry anytime I told you I don't have ,you know if I have I ll always give you.
ReplyDeletePeople dey build houses for their parents in the little capacity you can give him remember you ll be a parent one day.
If you see where my husband dey buy things for him mama you ll think he is an only child he will tell you if you see what my mum passed thru while training us. So poster give your dad don't ever mind whether his account is full or not .
Kindly tell him when you don't have just pray for promotion at work ,let God bless your side hustle and may you never lack and while giving may you not keep grudges it's well with you .
Please do not stop giving him his monthly stipends.
ReplyDeleteLike someone stated, just don't do it when it's not convenient for you..
DeleteAnd please try not to hold any grudge against him.
Poster you can't come and k.ll yourself. Do your best, and leave the rest .
ReplyDeleteIn as much as we owe our parents to take care of them, some people's parents are entitled and inconsiderate. They don't care how their children live or survive, or the means these children get the money; all they want is to keep increasing their demands and making sure it's met, otherwise, gaslighting and emotional blackmail starts.
This is what has led many young girls and boys into pros.titution, yahoo and many ev.il vices.
A teenager or young adult has no business taking d responsibility of their parents or anyone, unless they are financially stable (by legit means e.g young actors. Even at that, the home responsibility shouldn't be placed on them).
Children are not cash cows.
We shouldn't raise and train them with the hope of them returning the favour. That's not love. Ideally, parents are meant to leave inheritance for their children.
To you poster, kindly tell him your budgeted plan for him each month. Which also includes the drugs and toiletries. And let him know henceforth, you can't exceed that.
Offcourse, he will be angry, but don't bulge. As you increase financially, you can increase it too.
Nothing is too much to do for our parents. But no loving parent will want their children to stress beyond measure.
Chronicles like this make me say "God thank you for mine. I'm indeed blessed and super grateful
It's well with you
I totally agree with this comment.
DeleteYour comment is perfect is the child is living outside of the home. If they are living at home, then they should be contributing.
DeleteThank you!!
DeleteYour dad has 200k in his account? Who knows, he probably saved that amount out of the money you give him monthly.
ReplyDeleteHe also extorted 500 dollars from your brother? But why extort? Shouldn't your brother give him the money easily without him having to ask or devise means to get his passport?
Well, your father feels if he doesn't ask, you guys won't feel the need to give, so he keeps asking. Though I think it was really wrong of him to get angry when you told him you didn't have money to give him, considering you have been consistent with your giving and you only couldn't meet up just once.
I understand how that may have felt for you, but in the end, he is your dad, and irrespective of how comfortable you think he is, you have to give to him and spoil him no matter how small.
See how you’re calling $500 like it’s easy
DeleteHow much do you think he makes each month
Geez! That's true! I didn't even think of that! But wait o, are you vexing already? 👀
DeleteAlright...I pray God elevates them all so they can do more for their dad without it taking a toll on them. 🙏
Please don't stop.. Continue he's ur responsibility, forget about what he has and just do urs as his child.
ReplyDeletePoster I understand you
ReplyDeleteYou’re not Stella and you don’t have her type of money. Your issues are different
Now that you know about the money in your fathers account, don’t let him pressure you to do more than you can
20k from your 100k maybe too much for you so you can reduce to 10k
Are you living with him or do you have to save for rent?
Poster I can relate with what you are saying. The Papa is not considerate at all, that is how many of them do.
ReplyDeleteDon't stress yourself too much. If u don't have ask him to use from his own money,.
If u have give him what you can afford.
Don't give urself HBP over the matter.
Country hard, nobody should kill anybody . Haba
You don't need to worry yourself. Give him your already planned monthly allowance with good heart so that you will earn the blessings of giving to parents.
ReplyDeleteThen if you have extra when he complains give him but if you can't afford to face front.
It's not easy to manage 100k per month as a lady talk more of 80k after fathers allowance
You don't need to worry yourself. Give him your already planned monthly allowance with good heart so that you will earn the blessings of giving to parents.
ReplyDeleteThen if you have extra when he complains give him but if you can't afford to face front.
It's not easy to manage 100k per month as a lady talk more of 80k after fathers allowance
200k or 200mil ? Poverty na bastard o. Chai. Omokomo.
ReplyDeleteNa u be Alainironu. I M not the poster thou. How will you be abusing him / her.
DeletePele OlowoIna
It is a privilege to have them around please do your best and leave the rest regardless of whether he has or not after all you are not the only child he has ?what of if those savings are from his other children will that makes you not to help him?
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel bur believe me most of them are like that, they pretend not to have.
ReplyDeletePlease don't stop giving your dad
Poster I get how you feel about been extorted, pls do for him what you would want your kids to do for you too. Remember we wont be having them around much longer.
ReplyDeleteLets try to make them as happy as we can while we still have them here with us.
Your Dad is using divide and collect amongst his children. Hahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteIf you all can agree on a communal monthly allowance, it may be better for you all.
Keep doing. But do not allow him to put you guys into the competition of who do most.
This
DeleteDon't stop giving him if you have, but don't give beyond what you can afford, because he has 200k doesn't mean you should stop giving him money, how much is 200k?
ReplyDeleteDo your part and leave the rest to God, the fact he trained you and brought you up mean you owe him, and you must take care of him in a way that you can afford.
Poster you need to know there's a reward for obedience. Just do your part as a child and leave the rest to God
ReplyDeleteYou can give to him if you have.Remember what you do for your parents while they are still alive is like a seed sown.your own kids will provide for you and take care of you when you are Old.its well.
ReplyDeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteStella u funny. He never wicked child Sha. Poster just do your best. Aged parents are most times like that they are always broke if u check account bal u go bow.Enjoy this precious time with them and laugh it out.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry, but why are we encouraging bad behavior on top we must support our parents. The poster said he asked for 15k and got angry that she didn’t have. Please, how is that good behavior. The Bible says a good father leaves an inheritance for his children. The Bible didn’t say extort your children. I’m a parent myself and my parents are still alive. If I mistakenly complain near my parents that I am broke, omo, my parents go drop alert. Na me go dey beg them self that make dem no worry. That is a parent! You chose to have children, them no beg you to born them. By God’s grace I will care for my children in the same way my parents still care for me in this my big age. Instead of extorting and making their lives uncomfortable. Such parents should really be ashamed of themselves.
ReplyDeleteOshe!! My everyday prayer is to never ever ever have to look up to my children for money or sustenance in my old age, I want to be able to leave trust fund for my babies to enjoy life and even extend money to my grandkids, that's my earnest wish, I cannot for the life of me imagine stressing my kids this much, say I have money in my account and I will still be trying to hustle the ones that are just starting life and struggling to find a balance for money? MBA, noo.
DeleteHonestly, 200,000 is peanuts. If a serious illness or crisis occurs it cannot do anything. Having only 200,000 in the bank is broke, not broke broke with nothing but it is still broke. Can that 200k do a proper grocery shopping for the month and still pay bills and medical costs. Come on now, even you must know that money is peanuts in the current economy.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he has that money and doesn’t want to touch it so it can be there to help bury him when he passes on. Do you know how expensive a funeral is? Let him preserve the little he has so he is not brought to disgrace when he passes on. Pinch and do like you have been doing and try to secure a better paying job so you can continue to contribute and be comfortable.
Houusehold*
DeleteI am assuming you live at home still and that is how you discovered the bank account. Maybe you don’t. If you are not living at home then sit your father down and explain why you are not able to give him anything bigger. If you are living at home then you must contribute to the household.
Poster I understand your pain and I'm sorry abt your Dad's attitude,You should be happy you still have your father with you,be happy you can provide his basic needs,just pray for more blessings and strength!don't get pissed by his attitude.🌹🥰❤️
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, sorry to hear that you're going through this but you have to ask yourself a simple question which is.... If you don't blow your triumpent, then who will???
ReplyDeleteI'm so thankful for my parents. Everyone is just trying to hustle on their own. If you give them, it's jara
ReplyDeleteDon't stop giving him money but you might slash it ie reduce the amount with complain untop of it🙄, no be only you get Papa before and if you are not there he will still survive abeg try and save too Maka future purposes Weldon
ReplyDeleteMy father was worse! I remember complaining about his demands but never stopped giving him his monthly allowance and more. He passed a year ago and I regret ever complaining. I miss him and if I could turn back the hands of time I will give him double for every request cos nobody dey carry money go heaven.
ReplyDeleteDeath makes everyone a hero
DeleteSuch is life
My mom used to keep meeting people money in her account, if you don't ask you will think it's her money. She was the oldest woman in the family so whenever there's contributions for major family issues like marriage, court case involving land dispute na she dey collect the contributions because the others trusted her. Please ask papa first before thinking he's wealthy.
ReplyDeleteWhat if the money you saw in his account is not his? And what if he he has been saving up the money given to him for the purpose of buying a property for you with it someday ?
ReplyDeleteGood morning everyone.
ReplyDeleteThanks ma'am Stella for posting.
I am not a stingy daughter.if anything i have been more than generous.apart from his monthly stipends i send money randomly when i have excess or he makes a request.200k is not much but what hurts is he always makes us believe he is completely penniless. He once lied he had just 59naira in his account when he asked me to assist him with money and to be honest i did not have at that time,so i said give me a week to raise this money and give you then he picked offense.
If i happen to ever borrow from him(5k here, 2k there) i ensure i repay him double of what I took becos i believe i should be the one giving not taking.
I visited home in may and I spent my money to fuel the gen and feed the house because he said he had no money. I sent him 10k while I was there with him since he complained of being broke only to peep into his phone as he held it(i sat beside him) and his bank app was open and saw 135k as balance yet he and his wife(my step mom) were starving. He also tells her he never has money. I felt so so bad thathe could be this mean to us.
I have heard you all and will reduce his monthly stipend to 10k.i know he will grumble but I don't care.
Thank you ma'am for posting.God bless you.