COMPLICATED SITUATION
Compliment of the day to you Stella.
I am just thinking of the best way to handle this situation.
My mother moved back to her village after retirement. Before then I was paying for her rent in the nearby city. She is divorced. The house in the village is a family house her father's house but only 3 of them( elderly people) there. The other 2 are brothers in their 70s who don't see eye to eye but are sons to my mother's late senior brother. That makes my mother, 78 their aunty. .
They lured my mother to the village thinking she was wealthy as a pensioner. Not knowing I was the one picking the bills silently. I was not happy when she moved to the village..
I managed to fix her room to make it habitable for her despite the fact that she never discussed this movement with me. I was shocked. We have not had the best of mother- daughter relationship. I don't know her village people. I have only gone there twice since she moved there..
My mother moved back to her village after retirement. Before then I was paying for her rent in the nearby city. She is divorced. The house in the village is a family house her father's house but only 3 of them( elderly people) there. The other 2 are brothers in their 70s who don't see eye to eye but are sons to my mother's late senior brother. That makes my mother, 78 their aunty. .
They lured my mother to the village thinking she was wealthy as a pensioner. Not knowing I was the one picking the bills silently. I was not happy when she moved to the village..
I managed to fix her room to make it habitable for her despite the fact that she never discussed this movement with me. I was shocked. We have not had the best of mother- daughter relationship. I don't know her village people. I have only gone there twice since she moved there..
The place is terrible. They are looking for someone to come repair the house which I am not willing to do.
Now in this family house, where 3 of them are staying, one of them, 75 years (a pensioner) has been bedridden for over 2 years and died sometime this year. The wife left him over 10 years and children are all away and never visited but they hired a carer to look after him and by extension the carer took care of my mother.
Since they were the ones that brought the carer they picked offence why the carer should look after my mother even though I was equally paying as I don't live in the village to be able to get a carer for my mother. The carer was not complaining cause he was getting salary from both sides.I don't know these children who are supposed to be my cousins. Never met them and they don't know me either. They are all adults .I tried to reach one of them who is in the same city as me but she refused to pick my calls. So I stopped...
Now in this family house, where 3 of them are staying, one of them, 75 years (a pensioner) has been bedridden for over 2 years and died sometime this year. The wife left him over 10 years and children are all away and never visited but they hired a carer to look after him and by extension the carer took care of my mother.
Since they were the ones that brought the carer they picked offence why the carer should look after my mother even though I was equally paying as I don't live in the village to be able to get a carer for my mother. The carer was not complaining cause he was getting salary from both sides.I don't know these children who are supposed to be my cousins. Never met them and they don't know me either. They are all adults .I tried to reach one of them who is in the same city as me but she refused to pick my calls. So I stopped...
When the father was alive he shared food with my mother. He has pension too.When I send upkeep money for my mother it is extended to all in the house and I never picked offence at the rate money finishes so quickly.
These cousins of mine kept complaining that the carer is not concentrating on their father.. When their father died,they sent the carer away even though he wanted to continue with my mother. The reason for a male carer for my mother was because the other brother cannot let any lady rest, he must climb her, hence male carer. He defiles anyone in skirts. Even his relatives are not spared
My supposed cousins don't even know me in person but pick grievances with me.
I am older than them. The only one that sends money for the father's upkeep is the oldest ,43 who is a love child and lives abroad. She is single and very cocky I learnt. Even, she was not accepted by this same father till her 20s She is now the Conner stone just as I am.
Now, their father died since July. None of them has reached out to me. Even if they don't have my number but they asked for numbers and reached out to others and informed them about the burial. They even collected their condolences but nobody reached out to me. Is it because I am a woman or what? Or mere bitterness.
I would have loved to contribute towards the burial as the man in question is my Ist cousin who shared same roof with my mother, while his children are my 2nd cousins. I even called to find out if the senior one that is coming from America their heaven is arriving via Lagos so i can pick her in the airport, nobody has given me response. What they don't know I frequent this same US.
Much as I want to attend the burial to pay my last respect, and see how burial is done there, I want to give them an envelope but I don't know what their countenance will look like.
They don't know anything about me even my name. Even my mother does not know the name I bear. Nobody in the village knows me and I am okay with that.
If not my mother moving to the village last year nothing would have taken me to that place cause they are not good people. Even my mother is now regretting moving there. I know the villagers will be waiting for me when God calls my mother. They don't know my story. But I am ready and looking at them with side eye. I am going for the burial next month But wondering if these cousins will greet me or accept my gift. Initially I wanted to do souvenirs but changed my mind.. They will not even know where I will put up or eat anything there.
These cousins of mine kept complaining that the carer is not concentrating on their father.. When their father died,they sent the carer away even though he wanted to continue with my mother. The reason for a male carer for my mother was because the other brother cannot let any lady rest, he must climb her, hence male carer. He defiles anyone in skirts. Even his relatives are not spared
My supposed cousins don't even know me in person but pick grievances with me.
I am older than them. The only one that sends money for the father's upkeep is the oldest ,43 who is a love child and lives abroad. She is single and very cocky I learnt. Even, she was not accepted by this same father till her 20s She is now the Conner stone just as I am.
Now, their father died since July. None of them has reached out to me. Even if they don't have my number but they asked for numbers and reached out to others and informed them about the burial. They even collected their condolences but nobody reached out to me. Is it because I am a woman or what? Or mere bitterness.
I would have loved to contribute towards the burial as the man in question is my Ist cousin who shared same roof with my mother, while his children are my 2nd cousins. I even called to find out if the senior one that is coming from America their heaven is arriving via Lagos so i can pick her in the airport, nobody has given me response. What they don't know I frequent this same US.
Much as I want to attend the burial to pay my last respect, and see how burial is done there, I want to give them an envelope but I don't know what their countenance will look like.
They don't know anything about me even my name. Even my mother does not know the name I bear. Nobody in the village knows me and I am okay with that.
If not my mother moving to the village last year nothing would have taken me to that place cause they are not good people. Even my mother is now regretting moving there. I know the villagers will be waiting for me when God calls my mother. They don't know my story. But I am ready and looking at them with side eye. I am going for the burial next month But wondering if these cousins will greet me or accept my gift. Initially I wanted to do souvenirs but changed my mind.. They will not even know where I will put up or eat anything there.
My mother is not even helping matters. Like I said we are not close. I was rejected and neglected as a child. She has never asked for forgiveness. I do what I do cause of God. They don't know I am very successful now though I'm not married intentionally. I have a child who schools in US. They have not met. Maybe my look will let them know I am not lacking. Even my mother has never called to brief me about this burial arrangement. If she calls it's for money. It's painful ,I have to nose around to get information.
How do I handle this situation with my cousins as per this burial? If they give me face or snub me, should I go ahead with the gift? As for my mother, the villagers will now know me cause we look very much alike. I don't intend to smell like a rose there
This is going to be the first time they will all see me physically . Please pray for me.
Thanks
How do I handle this situation with my cousins as per this burial? If they give me face or snub me, should I go ahead with the gift? As for my mother, the villagers will now know me cause we look very much alike. I don't intend to smell like a rose there
This is going to be the first time they will all see me physically . Please pray for me.
Thanks
I have a problem with your assuming that they dont like you but you still want to associate with them and attend the burial....
Stop trying to be friends with them...
Stop trying to reach out to them....
Stop assuming that they dont like you..
I dont even know what advice to give but please dont stop looking after your mum.
From your write-up, that family seems to have so amny negativities hovering around them.
ReplyDeletePlease be very careful because immediately they discovers you are rich, you will see them trying to perch around you like bees.
Most Villagers uses burial period to look for their next victim, be prayerful before attending the burial, drop whatever you came with quietly and leave that place immediately the man has been laid to rest.
DOZZYBEST.
Poster,please for your safety and sanity,don't go for the burial,nobody invited you. Send whatever envelope through your mummy.
ReplyDeleteI support this👍...Send whatever you can through your mum.
DeletePoster abort mission, don't invite ants infested wood o o.
DeleteStay quiet and if you can bring your mum to the city do so.
As soon as my father relocated to the village and re-married, even the photographer to their wedding lost their wedding pictures. Till today no wedding pictures, before you know it, sickness started. Let me stop abeg.
Poster, try make enquiry about tradition since she's a divorcee that has gone back to her father's house.
Mao Akuh
Poster dey your dey don't attend that burial.
DeleteBeautiful BB you have said it All..
DeletePoster You Done Hear so ..
Hello iya Boys
Na wah oh Madam. If you don't want to go then sit down in your house and just send them money if you want to. You are an adult
ReplyDeleteSooo many assumptions already from you. Chill please life is not that hard
You seem like a difficult person
Easy
You are the difficult person here. What has she said to warrant this?. Some of you lack manners
DeleteIf you no get advice e for better say you no comment because what is this? 😏
DeleteNa wah o
DeleteI thought money is the only problem in life but even people with plenty of it are not spared
@lagos mainland girl,
DeleteYou've read between the lines.. noticing the poster is a confused, negative minded person, vindictive, unforgiving and potential or even not a toxic character already herself now.
Talking of kettle calling pot black, in a subtle format ..narrative here.
Poster take in some deep breaths...Do this like 3 times......Relax and be calm.....Please don't overthink and get yourself worked up.....
ReplyDeleteYou keep saying you and your mom are not close but as hard as you try, you still care which is why you sent in this chronicle.....From all you wrote, this is what I can deduce....
1. You have no relationship with your cousins or relatives; so I don't understand why you have a lot of expectations from them.....If they did not invite you for any burial, can you let them be; they obviously do not want the relationship.....
2. I believe you should have gotten your own carer for her rather than using their own...You don't even have any relationship with them in the first place so it will bring wahala automatically...
3. I dunno what happened between you and your mom's relationship; give her that respect of staying in a decent place...Left for me I would have said she continues to stay in her previous accommodation because staying with the people in the village that have no cares; let them not harm your mom with frustration.....
Be still and know that there is God....Please calm so you can make the right decision....
All the best & E-Hugs
I was gonna advise that you don't attend, and don't try communicating, but I realise you already have a made up mind to go. Why, is what I don't know.
ReplyDeleteAre you looking for acceptance, and an extended family to call yours, etc?
Many village people are diabolical and envious. Coupled with this cousins issues, why do you want to expose yourself?
The peace and quietness you are enjoying are you tired of it?
Even your mom isn't giving you details because she doesn't want you to come and your cousin's too obviously don't want anything to do with you.
Look, family isn't necessary those from same bloodline. Look around you, see the lovely people God has positioned in your life and face front please.
You can send a message to any of the children you have their contact, to send their account details, so you send in your support.
Don't give your mom, cos she won't give them.
But, please don't go.
The less people know about you, the safer for you.
And who told you that evil can only be transferred by food and drinks?
Wouldn't you hug and shake people that day?
Did we read the same chronicle? The poster isn't assuming anything. They actually don't like her. Madam poster, face your front and mind your business.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, is it difficult for you to mind your business? Why trying so hard to mingle? Please leave them alone. My father's family is like that, both uncles, aunties and cousins of which I do not know many of them refuse to associate with me. I have tried my best and have let them be because my father now is late and apparently there is nothing binding us again. I don face my front!, family friendship or association is not by force.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to add, please do not go for the burial if they do not invite you.
ReplyDeleteI am the poster. I need to attend as I have an aged mother to see and know how they do burial.
ReplyDelete@blogBrity read again. My mother has not even gotten in touch with me since this whole burial thing started.
I am told she may not even know or recognise me when she sees me. It's that bad , Yet I am the one to bury her. I have accepted the fact that my cousins are not close to each other. Not just me alone. The whole family is in a mess. They don't like each other. So much hatred. Majority are illiterate. And I don't know tradition. It's only one cousin that updates me on situation of things and he is the one encouraging me to attend for sake of my mother but I need to be careful ,I know
Tell that one you can’t make it. Cos of security , before someone go plan something for you. Just Show up on that day, and leave without announcement too. In and out like Tom cruise
DeleteAbeg go see another burial and leave these people to bury theirs in peace
DeletePoster,go a day before the burial,lodge in a HOTEL and don't even tell your cousin that updates you,just give them a surprise visit and after the burial the next day,you can go and see your mom and have some discussion with her and leave the next day and don't tell them,you are leaving until you arrive your destination..
DeleteBest of luck
Poster, there is no how they do burial oh, na just money e go chop. Trust me when it is time for your mom’s burial, her village people will let you know how much you should bring. People living abroad do burial for their parents all the way from there not to talk of you who lives in naija.
DeleteI do understand that you want to see your mum and know her village, which is important, but maybe go another time?
If you must go for the burial, be careful not to show yourself or rub shoulders with your cousins, just treat them with polite courtesy and don’t try to form relationship with them so they don’t embarrass you. Remember, you were not invited to their event not even by your mother.
It's crystal clear they don't want to have anything to do with you. WHY are you still trying to force a relationship with them??
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I think you are love starved and you long to be loved and accepted by this family which is okay and I totally understand considering that you don't have a family of your own neither were you close to your parents especially your mother.
ReplyDeleteShould I tell you the truth? these people don't give a hoot about you or your money as they are busy dealing internally with their own demons,
You know how I know? You can't give what you don't have.
Do you want my sincere advice? stay your lane and care for your love lost mother until God calls her home.
Frankly, these people may never ever accept you, therefore take solace in the fact that; That is life and it is what it is".
Wish you well.
This poster wan use her own hand destroy herself. Aunty stay in your house oooo. Do not attend. Do not send contributions either. Do not itch to go show how successful you are o. The world is a wicked place.
ReplyDeleteShe just wants to show that the rejected child has made it .but it's to the wrong people them go do you strong thing o stay your lane
DeleteContinue being careful with them poster. Do not let them know you are doing well for yourself. But you still need to get to know that place and know someone as well because you will need direction when God will call your mum home.
ReplyDeleteHow will ur mother's burial be? Since this is how they are..
ReplyDeleteU don't anyone they don't know u.. Are u her only child?
Just attend and envelope whatever u want to give them..
Stay away from people who don't like u
ReplyDeleteThis is a feeling l got from the chronicle l have a feeling you are going to be showing off when you go for the burial- 'I also frequent America.' 'How much should l give them' mama they no send you. it's just a nagging feeling l got. But if you want to go to a place you are not wanted, please keep a low profile. Dress in very normal clothes, don't attract attention to yourself. Let those people not think of once the burial is over. All the best to you.
ReplyDeleteIf you can read and comprehend, you would have seen where she pointed she isn’t going there smelling like roses. She isn’t the cause of your bitterness you hear?. Drink zobo
DeleteI too get that feeling that maybe poster thinks if they know she is successful they will care about her.
DeletePoster please don’t go there and show yourself, the less they know about you the better. There’s nothing you can do to make them truly like you so please stay in your lane and enjoy the pole pole who already love you.
If I were you, I would attend. Now the reason for attending is to prepare grounds with the village people as per if you were to lose your mother.
ReplyDeleteAttend, go to church, head to reception and hand them an envelope together with your mum. Trust me, your mum is gossiping with them about you. That is why they behave that way towards you. Wicked People get worse when they get older. . Keep this at the back of your mind.
Go and find your village people in their canopy, introduce yourself jovially. Tell them you want to register as per their daughter, find out how much you’re owing, take their account number to pay LATER.
Find out how much is monthly dues, keep this up to date. Get one or two numbers from members who look reasonable.
When you head back , clear your debt and your mother’s debts and keep up to date with payments.
You should not stay more than two hours at that burial, no matter what. Just say you’re going to get something at the backyard and disappear. Switch off your phone.
They’ll figure out you’re gone by evening. Don’t stay back for any rubbish meeting o.
This!!
DeleteThis is great advice if poster must go for the burial
DeleteIf I were you, I would attend. Now the reason for attending is to prepare grounds with the village people as per if you were to lose your mother.
ReplyDeleteAttend, go to church, head to reception and hand them an envelope together with your mum. Trust me, your mum is gossiping with them about you. That is why they behave that way towards you. Wicked People get worse when they get older. . Keep this at the back of your mind.
Go and find your village people in their canopy, introduce yourself jovially. Tell them you want to register as per their daughter, find out how much you’re owing, take their account number to pay LATER.
Find out how much is monthly dues, keep this up to date. Get one or two numbers from members who look reasonable.
When you head back , clear your debt and your mother’s debts and keep up to date with payments.
You should not stay more than two hours at that burial, no matter what. Just say you’re going to get something at the backyard and disappear. Switch off your phone.
I agree with stella, why do you want to associate with people that are mean to you. Family is not all about blood relations
ReplyDeleteMy advice for you is to stay wise, protect yourself, and always consider the potential consequences of situations, especially when they feel off or too fraught. It’s sad that sometimes, just keeping a low profile or choosing not to participate in certain events can be the wisest course of action for your own safety and well-being.
ReplyDeleteThis story is similar to my colleagues mother that died after attending a burial, she complained of leg pain that defy medical interventions until she died, it was later the children were told that their mother came to the village to show off hence the attack.
Keeping yourself alive for your child is the most important thing. Life can be fragile, and the consequences of certain decisions can be far reaching.
A word really is enough for the wise. Stay cautious, stay wise, and take care of yourself, because sometimes survival in this world requires navigating through hidden dangers with careful thought.
Don’t go na
ReplyDeleteWhy do you people seek out these village peoples validation like this
Stay in your house. Donate money to charity if it’s itching you to help
Your mother moved back for company
To her all their wahala is still better than staying alone. Such is the family tie
If they don't tell better stay away from them ;or you wanted to show them what you have ?better stay where you are and let the died bury their dead
ReplyDeleteDear poster, your mother has aged, i think you need to have that conversation so that you lay some things to rest.
ReplyDeletePray about it and bring up the matter. Don't forget she was/ is divorced, she must have some painful things that have been hidden in her heart. Guide her by having this conversation so she can be free in her heart.
And with your extended family, i will suggest you tread carefully and wisely. This is transgenerational trauma. Added to selfishness and being self centered, which takes no one anywhere.
There must be a reason why your Mum is not filling you in with some information, I'm sure she has heard some conversation or seen some attitude that is hard to communicate, these things are there. Telling you things maybe adding to the Trauma you already have about them. Who knows?
It's a complex issue, because I don't see how taking care of your mum takes away anything from them.
Look for that same person to take care of your Mum, otherwise ask him to recommend someone who will do a good job like him. Or otherwise move your Mum out of that place, those people your relatives are malicious and can do anything. Do they think your Mum will inherit anything? Cos that's where my mind went to.
Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Take care of your Mum. You are giving her the honor she deserves even though the conditions or atmosphere is not right.
God bless and keep you.
Poster I understand you wanna identify with your family which is good,but from your write-up they don't want you, going to the village is not advisable,I think your mum knows the better,so just send your contribution through your mum and face front.as for your mum, you can still move her away from the village.you are doing well by taking care of your mum🥰🌹
ReplyDeletePoster do not give them cash o, cause of your safety, they might use the money to work bad juju against you, collect account details and do transfer to them. If they refuse to give you an account, sister lock up.
ReplyDeleteAnon1704. This is another angle to it. I was planning cash gift. But you have given me another idea.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I will take to that
Were you rejected as a child or your mother left you with your dad in the process of escaping the marriage. What is the true story? Did she leave you with a relation? What happened? There is a lot going on in your mother's house that need serious prayers and deliverance. It is almost like a generational transfer going on...can you not see it? You need to break curses and make sure it ends with you. Look at these stories you told us, something is definitely wrong. Are you a Christian? If you are not, accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. If you are, pray and pray and pray. Seek direction before you make any move. Don't go anywhere without praying. Your mother and your child needs you.
ReplyDelete.
Be selective with your association. Be wise . Seek direction from God.
Can your mom come and live with you or can you get a carer for her?
So sorry for what you went through.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Poster I feel your mum is the cause of your issues with your maternal relatives. They are relating to you based on what your mum told his brothers which they also related to their own children.
ReplyDeleteIf you can afford flight ticket for two please travel with someone to keep you company and watch your back around there. Don't eat or sleep in your mum house.
You cannot run away from them forever especially since you have an aged mother. No one knows when God will call her.
Attend the burial like a visitor, stay not too close but not too far to the venue so that you will see everything that is happening. How burial is done around there.
A day or two after the burial. Demand audience with the first son of the late uncle. Introduce yourself, condole with him and his entire siblings and suggest he gives you an account to send something as condolence gift.
Ask them to help you get someone to look after your mum since she is alone and promise to pay the person.
Give your mum whatever your brought for her. Promise to see her the next day but please return to your location that day. Don't communicate with them for a while and see if they will look for you. If they get in touch with you fine, if not mark them x and leave your life. Ask your mum to get someone to stay with whom you will be paying. . She is human, she knows the village, she can get someone for herself.
Weldone.
There is someone with my mother. I am paying. I have not told anyone I am coming for the burial except the only cousin I relate with. He too is very mindful of them in the village. I just plan to be there as a visitor and stay in a hotel and depart impromptuly immediately after the burial.
ReplyDeleteMy said cousin just told me I should have done one way ticket instead of return ticket to enable me study situations after the burial but No I will leave next day without letting anyone except that my cousin know.
He too is keeping his movement very secret.
Thank you all for the various advice
You too dey trust. Better tell him today that you’re not sure if you’ll make it. That is how they work into your life, by mirroring your values and fear, and when you’re ripe for rapping they start collecting and keep on collecting. Don’t be fooled by him. Keep your guard up!
DeleteHello Poster,
ReplyDeleteYour situation touches on familial neglect, complex family dynamics, and the weight (emotional impact) of returning to an estranged maternal side which you have never been a part of. You have personal questions you need to genuinely answer with an approach that balances empathy, self-care, and pragmatism if you have resolved to go ahead.
1. It’s important to identify why you feel compelled to attend the burial, given the estranged relationships. If your primary motivation is your mother and honouring the deceased, then let that intention guide you. However, entering this environment hoping for familial acceptance could lead to further disappointment, as it’s clear from your story and comments that the family has not been receptive or supportive. Approach the event with a mindset of respecting tradition and duty, not as a means to mend strained relationships.
2. Having gone over a few comments made by BVs, they highlighted concerns about your safety and the potential risks of attending. While some warnings may seem extreme, it's wise to exercise caution in environments that feel adversarial. Consider these steps if you are hell-bent on showing up:
Travel discreetly: Avoid drawing attention to yourself. Dress modestly, limit your interactions, and consider staying for a short time to fulfil your obligations.
Manage finances carefully: Avoid giving cash directly. If possible, transfer any financial support directly to an account for transparency and security.
Bring a trusted companion (if possible an elder from your father's side, one who knows another elder from your maternal side with whom he has a good rapport in a way): Having such a personality with you for support, even if it’s just for company or as a witness, could help manage stress and create a buffer if uncomfortable situations arise.
3. The difficult relationship with your mother is central to your pain and sense of obligation. While it may not be possible to resolve all past hurts, addressing unresolved feelings - perhaps privately or otherwise - could bring some peace. Because it is evident you have that innate compassion towards her, and your gestures show empathy. Many BVs suggested continuing to support her as an act of compassion, rather than expecting her gratitude or affection - an opinion I also share. If direct care is needed, consider relocating her closer to you, or hire a carer or caregiver that you can monitor independently.
4. Given the longstanding disconnection, it's reasonable to expect your cousins may not warmly welcome you. Their response may be indifferent or even dismissive, but you can still attend with grace. If you feel compelled to bring a gift, consider it a token of respect rather than a gesture meant to win approval. If their attitude is openly hostile, remain cordial but distance yourself emotionally.
5. Given the strained relationships, self-care and emotional detachment may be essential. Attend the burial as a gesture of respect, but refrain from overextending or overindulging yourself or seeking connections that may only cause you pain. Your success and independence are personal achievements that don’t require validation from those who previously dismissed or ignored you. Or never cared whether you existed or not.
6. Family trauma can deeply affect your identity, but in attending the burial, view this as an opportunity to close a chapter rather than reopen old wounds. Some BVs urged forgiveness; this doesn't mean excusing past mistreatment, but rather releasing the emotional hold it has on you. Focus on building a support network around those who value and respect you. In doing so, you may find yourself more at peace and resilient, irrespective of your family’s acceptance.
In all fairness, you are better off abstaining from this. It isn’t something you should be looking forward to. The whistling they hear of you from behind the scenes is a healthy buffer you should sustain. What people don’t know or see, they don't go about preying
Poster, I beg you in the name of God , do not go for that burial. I understand you need to see your mum and all, you can go some other time not on the day of the burial . Use that cousin that you are close to to your advantage ok...but do not go
ReplyDeleteLet her go body dey scratch am . She wants to go and watch how they do burial as if she's God. You better sit your crusty butt down.!!
DeleteIf they get to know your financial worth now they'll start taking you serious. That's how people like that are. They don't like to form ties with people they perceive that they are better than but the moment they notice that you are doing better than them, they'll want to identify with you by all means.
ReplyDeletePls,pls pls don't attend the burial,send money to your mom to give to them...just dey your dey...... Josaria
ReplyDeleteWhy are you forcing yourself where you are OBVIOUSLY NOT WANTED?
ReplyDeleteYou are nosing for info?
To attend something you were not even officially invited, to be with people who dont give a shit about you, fussing over types of gifts ..lolllll. Hilarious.
Why?
What are you trying to prove?
Let go of the childhood trauma.
You are not the unwanted, ignored child anymore.
If they had wanted you to know, they would have shared the info with 7 trumpets.
Face your life and your child with even half of that energy.
And let go of the childhood trauma.
You've tried your best. Now give it a rest
ReplyDeletePoster your case is truly complicated.
ReplyDelete1. You said you want to know how burial is done in the village. People wey de abroad wey dem bury their parents without their presence. Them bury them or not.
2. You no want make your child enjoy you till old age?
3. Be very careful of village people. I am warning you be very careful.
I don't if this is related or not but l will tell you my story. I didn't know my father because he rejected the pregnancy. My mum was young when she had me. So l was raised by grand ma then later uncle (all from my maternal side). Later when l was around 20 and at University l got to know my father's family l mean cousins, uncle's, aunties and so on. Even my half brother. Father was late at this point. I graduated from University and 5 years later l got married. I was working before l got married- temporal/ contracts/ internship. After l got married in 2015, a year later my contract was not renewed.. From 2016 till now, l have not had a job. Been searchingg up and down but to avail.My marriage is shaking but God is intervening. To cut the story short, it has been revealed that the person responsible for my misfortunes is my auntie from father's side who has bewitched and cursed me not to see a good thing in my life. It was revealed that at the time of my wedding, that is when she destroyed the foundation of my marriage and my job, name it, she destroyed it with two other witxhes. What's painful about this is that these see people who didn't bring anything when l was growing up. Didn't buy me even a pencil or book for school. But they welcomed me in their family only to bewitched. Only smiling but behind my back, then are stabbing me. I welcomed them in my life with all my heart but only to be hurt badly. What l am saying is just became full with new people, if you must. Stay far away from them. Remember this people are evil/ wicked. You can't know their intentions.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing that as a Christian we believe the lies of the enemy more than the victory. How sure are you about this revelation? Africans never want to deal with misfortunate and difficult circumstances in their life. No it must be attributed to a poor relative in the village. Girl it is this mindset that is holding you captive and without a job. If you continue to believe that someone has stolen your destiny, you would wallow in the self pity and poverty till thy kingdom come. Tell me how you have tried to upgrade your skills since 2016? People are cashing out on social media, learning tech skills and doing remote work, starting businesses, you are here moaning about village witches! You are exactly the reason why you cannot prosper. You have locked your thinking & prefer to accuse someone else with no proof instead of working on your goals. I hereby tell you that you are the witch that has bewitched herself. Now let me tell you how to free yourself- change your mindset, believe that God created you to prosper, go on YouTube, udemy, coursera,edit and learn a new skill. Dedicate 6 months purely to bettering yourself and come give me a testimony in 2025! Stop being the weapon fashioned against yourself. I hereby set you free from the clutches of self imposed witchcraft in Jesus' name. Now go out and find your purpose & thrive.
DeleteDO NOT GO!!! If anything happens to you who will look after your child. It seems you want to prove a point? Why? They do not like you and what they think of you does not matter. Send an envelope and I REPEAT, DO NOT GO!!
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