MARRIED TO A CHRONIC LIAR
I am married to a man who liesso much that it may not be wrong to add liar to his name....If my husband greets you good morning, it would be better you check the time.......In all honesty, i knew that he told small small lies when we were dating but i didnt see these as anything serious and never bargained for him getting a Phd in lying.....he became worse...My husband can lie so much and lies about everything....
Now I am really concerned cos it seems this behaviour is either genetic or he is privately giving our kids lying lectures...I just noticed that our young kids have started lying and i think it is time to qit this marriage and take my kids far from him for their mental health and mine....
Everyone looks at me like a joker for wanting to end my marriage cos of this reason and some even think i need help......
Dies this reason for wanting to leave sound funny? Is lying not something to end a marriage especially when kids are becoming affected? Please i need advice before i go crazy........
You said he lied before you married him so it is like you made your bed....You can leave if the lying is affecting the kids but will he allow you take the kids?Can he get help? This is a messy situation and this kind of lying can give one mental problems...Please stop around for people to agree with you, just leave if it for the good of the kids.....Lying and stealing go together
Sorry Poster you married a pathological liar!! And nothing can change him unless he chooses to seek help.....
ReplyDeleteAlso please stop looking for validation from others....Since your children are picking up the unhealthy attitude, separating or divorcing which ever comes first is not a bad idea at all....No need to go crazy.....Also be prayerful and have a trusted friend or family at every step of the way....
Plus the kids have a lot of unlearning and relearning to do so take them away from such environment...
All the best....
You cannot take the kids from him. Children belong to both husband and wife. They are not the personal properties of only women.
DeleteYou are an adult. Make your decision but never assume that kids you share with a man are yours only simply because the man falls short.
When taking responsibilities, they are the man's kids after all they bear his surname, but in situations like this they become her kids. Madam the kids belong to both of you, only you can not decide their future. No body asked you to go and marry a liar. I think it's time men take this taking of kids away from them very serious. This kids grow up and treat you like trash because of the lies their mother must have fed them with and the fact that you are not in their lives. If any woman want to leave you, let her go but fight for your kids with everything in your power.
DeletePls remove the kids from his house before he turns them into something else. I'm a man and I cringed reading this. What would prompt a man to lie like that, are you the breadwinner of the home?
DeleteChildren learn how to lie from school, playgrounds, by observing people do it, and to avoid punishment.
DeleteCan all the parents here who do not lie raise their hands and say their children have never lied to them?
The ways to stop children from lying is to teach them it is wrong and not severely punish them when they admit their mistakes.
Poster, if you want a divorce and separation and also want to take the children along with you, own up with your full chest.
It would, however, hard to get a divorce or separation on ground of lying without showing what he lies about and the material effect on you. For example financial loss, lying over adultery, etc. Just saying a man lies. Court will give divorce? Give it a try and please update us. Some of us are here to learn.
17:55 not all kids lie. I have never seen my sister's kids lie. Even the kids in my compound at home will tell you exactly how it is. The only time my sis kid lied was when some kids came back from Christmas and he was always going to visit and play with them. When we discovered the change in his character, we talked to him and he stopped, but you see the kids in my rented apartment, they can lie for Africa, unnecessary lies o,and their mum exposed them to it.
Delete17:55 there are levels or grades of lying, if you don't know
DeleteAnon 17.55 you are a walking contradiction aka liar too. From I HAVE NEVER SEEN MY SISTER'S KIDS LIE to THE ONLY TIME MY SIS KIDS LIE WAS. I thought they dont lie na. Long hiss. Na wa, it will be good to scan your head o.
DeleteWhy did u marry a liar? And u knew all along... Do what makes you happy..
ReplyDeleteInstead of asking for solutions to make your kids stop lying, you’re looking for who to blame…
DeleteYou were not informed that whatever a man or woman does before marriage will escalate after marriage, that marriage does not change people?
ReplyDeleteYou can leave before he makes you lose your mind. Just be prepared for all the big big lies he will heap on your head after you leave.
Did you put him in a situation where he needs to lie to just get over it with you? Why should a man be lying unnecessarily? What are the lies he always tells?
ReplyDeleteHe needs therapy.
ReplyDeleteLying and Stealing goes Together oooo.. but why did you marry him when you knew from The Onset that he's a Pathological liar..
ReplyDeleteMay God Help you ooo .
Just do what makes you happy and safe around The kids..
Hello iya Boys
My aunty used to say " a liar is a thief and a thief is a criminal". Poster use your tongue to count your teeth.
ReplyDeleteI relieved my staff of her duties and job yesterday
ReplyDeleteShe lies over things you can see ,how much more what ypu cant see
I think she does jazz i might be wrong though
But her confidence that nothing can happen to her and no one can do her anything is top gear
Called her on Friday to bring office keys within 30 minutes after one of her lying episodes,she sat put and did nothing
We work on Saturday,she went to work didn’t call me,didn’t come in fact ehn,for her mind nothing Dey happen
Went there on Monday and the rest is history
Lying is a no no
God help you dear
Lying is bad
DeleteMao Akuh
These kind of liars will make u feel like u are crazy
ReplyDeletePoster there is nothing like small small lies , all lies Na lies. I left a fiance because of lies, I couldn't cope. Stop getting approval from people to leave or to stay. If the lies do not harm you stay but if otherwise ha Omo take action oo
ReplyDeletePoster there is nothing like small small lies , all lies Na lies. I left a fiance because of lies, I couldn't cope. Stop getting approval from people to leave or to stay. If the lies do not harm you stay but if otherwise ha Omo take action oo
ReplyDeleteI wander why some people think can make someone love you.
ReplyDelete*lies
DeleteWhy not talk to him about how the lies are affecting the kids ? Let him see that the kids are already learning how to lie from him and this will give them a bad reputation outside the home.
ReplyDeleteYou knew about his lying abilities but went ahead to marry him. Talk to him about it and beg him to stop for the sake of the children.
ReplyDeletePoster I understand you. I use to see lying as normal thing (cos I lie too), until I met a chronic liar. This person lies can make you question your mental health.
ReplyDeleteYou see those men that talks too much, avoid them. Most of them lie for a living. I’m mainly concerned about the kids cos your guy is not stopping anytime soon.
Fan Emmanuel
This is my situation now. When they (men) talk too much, na lie full am
DeleteSo sorry about this. To curb d growing effect on d kids, you can both live in different state (note that this may affect d marriage ). Then put serious measures in place to stop d kids from lieing. Eg rewards for being truthful and consequences of lieing. Also, children department in a good church will help too. You also have to be an example and teach them what God's word says about lieing and its effect
ReplyDeleteI hate lying with a passion so to be closely connected to someone who lies at the drop of the hat would be living in hell for me. Living with a liar is like living with a complete stranger, you do not know much of what is real and what is fabricated. Other ppl are more tolerant of liars. However, I don't think his lying is the sole reason for you contemplating leaving, there are probably other things going on that was not mentioned in the chronicle. When you reach your breaking point you won't even have time to send in a letter, you will be letting us know after you have made your move. All the best to you and the children. If therapy is an option give it a go, at least give him the opportunity to seek healing and repair if he does not know that this problem is affecting everyone in the home's life.
ReplyDeleteThe kids are not yours alone. . They belong to you both. Next time , make your babies alone.
ReplyDeleteHehahahahha
DeleteSorry about your experience but we cannot tell you to leave your marriage because he tell lies, we cannot also tell you not to leave. As an adult, you should be able to make your own decisions. Tomorrow so you don't say some people told you to leave your husband, the decision is yours to make
ReplyDeleteAs it is, he is an adult, ONLY GOD AND PRAYERS can change him. If you love him, pray for him and don't try to copy his lies, let the kids know it's wrong to tell lies, teach them it's good to be truthful and be an example yourself.
The big question is will divorcing him stops the kids from telling lies, wat if lies is a foundational spirit in his life that has also been transferred to Ur children....why don't you create time and teach Ur kids the word of God and pray with them.
ReplyDeleteThe marriage institution...I think this generation has a very different understanding of what it is or what the true essence is. Can we try try to imagine a scenario where a man wrote in this chronicle? Honestly, we mustn't get married. If your only interest is motherhood then that isn't fair to the children.
ReplyDeleteYou saw flaws but ignored and now you want to break a marriage, a family with children. I guess you never believed in the sanctity of marriage and never had "till death do us path" as aspect of your marriage vow. No wahala madam. Divorce him please.
No body want to put in any effort now, everything is divorce.
DeleteAnd carry the children along with them on the man's expense. If he refuses to pay, blackmail him on social media as dead beat or make him lose his job.
DeleteMy ex baby daddy is a chronic liar, he lies about everything and anything when we were dating, he lied about so many things and about everything, it was later I discovered that everything he had told me was lie.
ReplyDeleteFunny thing is that my daughter wants to take his traits which I'm trying to curb her lies.
There is nothing like ex baby daddy, he is your baby daddy for life, until he dies, then he becomes your late baby daddy. Abi you have found another father for your child?
DeleteSo who is teaching your baby how to lie? Or your baby inherited it through genes?
DeleteYou that knowingly married a liar, I wonder what that makes you. There has to be names for people like you that willingly do such stupid things. Did you not know you were going to procreate with this liar when you decided to marry him? Now you act like you share no responsibility for the poor quality children you are raising. Yeye de smell.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she was desperate for marriage. You know marriage is the alpha and Omega of Nigerian ladies
DeleteYet Nigerian men no good o!
DeleteYou will create more problems for the kids by seeking divorce because their Dad is a liar. Take up the responsibility of being the moral compass for your kids. Train your kids with God's word. Show them the right way like Timothy's mother and grandmother did. By God's grace, they will turn out well.
ReplyDeleteAll of you guys saying it’s not grounds for divorce are delusional beings clouded by religion and void of actual lives experiences. Do you know what it would do to you as a person to have to deal with a perpetual LIAR? If I had a parent that lied about anything and everything, it would drive me crazy! So imagine the kid was sent on an errand and say the mother is looking for the kid and kid gets back and say my dad sent me to buy biscuit and the father said no, I didn’t send you anywhere. Now put yourself in that kids shoes and just imagine the multiplicity of damage it would do to that child over the course of their formative years. The years they learn self confidence, right and wrong, integrity, compassion……. You have essentially set that child up for failure in life. And NO amount of balance from the mother can reshape that life. I do agree that the decision is the posters but to suggest that this isn’t worthy of at least some effort to separate the kids from a potentially damning future is literally WICKED.
ReplyDeleteYour comment reeks of ignorance. Lying is not legal grounds for divorce anywhere in the world. Who lie pass lawyers? What kind of mumu example did you even type up there?. Calling people delusional for sake of say you want to use big grammar, just rude. You that know children that are set up to fail, so you are the standard of someone set up to succeed. Long hiss.
DeleteYou abused people without citing one law - statutory or customary - governing marriages, which permits divorce on ground of lying.
DeleteSome people might not understand where you're coming from, but I clearly do. My ex will tell so much lies, I had to leave
ReplyDeleteYou are still there asking questions
ReplyDeleteYou better remove your children away from that nonsense relationship.
The way some of us women lay claims to kids e e. Madam, if you have other reasons to seek divorce, please tell us. Is he a thief, robber, ritualist etc. Is there violence in your marriage? When you leave, will you mould a perfect Dad for your kids? We all are married to imperfect spouses! Put more efforts in training your kids. Use the moral values of your religion to guide and counsel them. Pray with them and pray for them. Do it with joy. It's won't be easy but it's possible. Some fathers/ mothers are chronic adulterers and liars yet, by God's mercy, they raised excellent, morally upright kids. Some yahoo boys you see were raised by spirit filled fathers. As a woman, you can influence your kids more than you imagine.
ReplyDelete