Hmmmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
How do you deal with a spouse that's so unappreciative? All he does is to nag from morning to night when he's home. He can never appreciate whatever i do but always looking for what i didn't do and faults everywhere.
He keeps malice too but sneaks to me at night for s#x. Some nights I allow him while some I refuse. I just lay down like a log of wood while he does his thing without emotions.
The annoying part is him expecting me to hold him kiss him and even moan!! For what??
SHUO!!!!.....What attracted you both to get married in the first place`???? What caused this break down of feelings between you both? I am a wrong person to advice in issues like this cos i have never experienced this kind and i will walk away if i am with a man with this description..Let me read advice but sha you are trying to still give him kpekus with this kind behaviour.
My dear nothing will change this type of person. Just do the right thing and ignore him.
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
I hate when a woman complains her husband nags eh!
DeleteNag the hell out of him too wake him up with nag serve him food with nag welcome him home with nag even make love with him nagging
Do you not know that when two powers jam the lesser one bows?
Some toxic people learn with same toxic energy
Nagging wey be say na we get am you open eye leave am for man
Nk, you badt gan-an. Like aura for aura.
DeleteBut seriously, if the other party isn't like that, one can run mad. How will the home be like when both parties are nagging at each other?
Keeps malice with you, but then expects you to xes him. Na wa.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, if u have mind to keep malice with me, your pr**k better keep same malice with my V.
ReplyDeleteHave you told him about this trait and how trying it is? Truly, he may have picked it up while growing up with a complaining parent. He likely doesn’t even know he has these negative traits that are not useful in a marriage. I would say tell him calmly that the marriage is not bringing you joy because of all the nagging, complaining and negative utterances from him day in day out. Let him know to go get counseling because it’s driving a wedge between both of you.
ReplyDeletePlease remember that ppl who are constantly criticized will start faltering, making mistakes and develop stress when this person comes around. They will start doubting themselves and likely develop low self-esteem and self-worth if they do not have a strong sense of self. It is not a healthy environment to live in, and children cannot grow up healthily in such an atmosphere. So, if things get too much take a separation and go where you can have peace. Protect your mental health.
Poster please go with this advice plus you guys can enroll with a professional counsellor before you go for a separation...
DeleteIn everything protect your mental health, when he nags just ask him 'I can understand how you feel so what do you want to do about this or What solutions do you think would resolve this? Don't allow him reduce your energy
All the best
Poster please go with this advice plus you guys can enroll with a professional counsellor before you go for a separation...
DeleteIn everything protect your mental health, when he nags just ask him 'I can understand how you feel so what do you want to do about this or What solutions do you think would resolve this? Don't allow him reduce your energy
All the best
I don't get how spouses or partners will be keeping malice or hate each other and still be gb*nshing, it can never be me, if you're keeping malice with me, you're also keeping malice with my kp*kus, it's under lock till we sort out our ish.
ReplyDeleteGod will fix your marriage.
Built up resentments. Pray to God to help you forgive. Also speak to him as well.
ReplyDeleteStella a lot of the time these men hide their true character. My husband was so quiet and agreeable when we married, only for him to turn into a nag soon as I moved into his house, nothing was ever good enough for him. I asked him gently to correct it, he ignored me and it became even worse. Then I decided to give him a taste of his medicine, but I was miserable whilst doing it cos it’s the opposite of my character, we were both very miserable, a lot of resentment built up, na me still use my hand say I no longer want to be this miserable joyless nag. We are both trying to reverse everything sha, at least I am. I just want to be doing what gives me joy, if he complains I will try my best to ignore or give him bad eye, or joke about it.
ReplyDeleteWo, poster, I understand mi compadre, na God hand we dey.
My thought about what Nk said up there. If you try to return the energy, you'll lose yourself and become more miserable.
DeleteThis is an unhealthy marriage for you guys and the kids. Before the sex one night,air out your grievances and pray together to God to heal your home. Marriage is not easy,coupled with the global economic meltdown.
ReplyDeleteTell him he can't get the best from you if he keeps malice with you and complains all the time.
ReplyDeleteCommunication is very important.
God abey ooo. How do a man keep malice. I don't just understand that habit. people in relationships and marriage need to grow up. This is just petty
ReplyDeleteYou dey Try shaaa
ReplyDeleteChaiiiii
Hello iya Boys
You can't be keeping malice with me or hating on me and expect I should be available for you in da oza room never !!!
ReplyDeleteSince I started giving people a dose, sometimes overdose of their own medicine, life has been wonderful. Dear wifey, from the moment he wakes up, criticize everything he does, start with how he snores, his sleeping pattern, maybe sex if you want to bruise his ego, tell him his perfume smells bad, he did not brush well his breathe stinks, his outfit does not fit him, his clothes are outdated, complain about his car that it smells you will rather trek than enter it, complain about his driving, the way he eats, the way he breathes sef. Write a list of things to complain about and DO 5 - 6 complaints a day even when he is keeping malice. The key is say it and walk away, do not engage, worst case say you are advising him( reverse psychology). Walk around with the biggest smile on your face, when he nags you, thank him for the valuable feedback but before you leave him, remind him to brush his teeth regularly with more focus on his tongue!
ReplyDeleteI’d leave out the sex criticism pls. There’s no coming back from that one.
DeleteYes o! Especially, the toxic ones. They only understand their own language.
DeleteIf a person can successfully revenge in nagging, the person was only waiting to be - a nag under cover.
DeleteIt is the same with those who do paternity fraud or support it as revenge for adultery. They are adulterous in spirit, waiting for opportunity to be.
Is marriage do or die?
Why is it only the bad marriage we advised should be revenged? If the Poster praised her marriage and listed material gains, how many would she be told to reciprocate to her husband?
My friend's ex husband kept malice with her for good 2yrs without saying a single word to her, but was sleeping with her all through until she got tired and left.
ReplyDeleteTry to communicate with him on how his action is Hurting you.
This is very funny indeed!!!
DeleteKeep malice but does not keep malice with the VJ?
Interesting!
This is very funny indeed!!!
DeleteKeep malice but does not keep malice with the VJ?
Interesting!
Sorry maybe we need o hear from him also because women knows how to construct storys to suit their narratives
ReplyDeleteHas he always been this way? What went wrong. Communication is Key, the both of you should discus as two mature adults who wants the best for each other. And most of all, commit it into God's hand. All will be well
ReplyDeleteCreate more room for communication.He's hurting your feelings and he needs to know.if this continue for too long,it may destroy your home.
ReplyDelete"He can never appreciate whatever i do but always looking for what i didn't do and faults everywhere."
ReplyDeleteMaybe, just maybe, you are really not doing enough, or not doing all you should do, or not doing well the few or those you do.
Most of us thought marriage will free us from accountability, but marriage demands bigger accountability than was on us as children living with parents, flat/room mates, employees, etc.
You say he believes you are wrong all the time.
You believe he is wrong all the time.
Is he really wrong all the time?
Are you right all the time?
Is this not a case of two weakness - incorrigibility and refusal to adapt to it - left to fester into sourness?
I can relate to this your story because I was in similar shoes. What did I do? When I saw that if I tried adjusting to his complaints, he'll only find something else to complain about, I stopped trying. I do the best I can while completely ignoring his nags. Also I started talking back, not to fight but to state my case clearly, because I noticed myself declining in self confidence and self esteem.
ReplyDeleteIn truth, he is better now and sometimes when we are gisting, I remind him that if I was a weaker woman, he would have succeeded in completely eroding my self esteem, and he tells me that was never the intention. @poster, let him know what he is doing to you, don't keep quiet please. And when he's painting a narrative that isn't you, please immediately counter it and reaffirm yourself in the process.
It is well with you.
Pray for him and commit the matter to God.
ReplyDeleteTRY NOT TO NAG HIM BACK
Ensure you speak to him during sex about this issue, that's the best time to get his attention
Do you even pray as an individual and as a couple?