Hmmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MUST ONE GO TO CHURCH
I have a very important question to ask because this is really affecting my marriage and giving me second thoughts... Is there anywhere it is written in the Bible that one must attend church? Is it maintaining a pure heart not important?can i not sit at home and fellowship via internet or TV? Where is it written that a wife should fristrate her husband every Sunday morning because of church?
My wife is choking me with nagging every morning and i no longer look forward to staying at home again.....Most Saturdays i sleep in a hotel on the other side of town and sleep and relax very well in the mornngs and get back home when i am well rested... she thinks i am having an affiar and has been making the house hot for me, I have told her the reason i stay away but she chooses to believe that it is because of a woman...Is my marriage not headed towards the end this way?
I have told her that if i see a lady who treats me right and understands that Church can be anywhere, even at home, I will consider getting a second wife .........She has laughed it off but honestly i am not joking.
How do i make this omwan understand that this Churchy behaviour is killing my peace of mind, the nagging driving me away and soon my clothes will vanish from the home.....We are married for a years without kids, she wants me to take church serious before she will get pregnant....
Stella please dont add provision store to your advice, my wife is very learned and works and earns very well like me, money is far from our problems.
AH!!!Are you for real? She has put having kids on hold because you are not attending church?giving conditions in the house? Isnt this alpha female behaviour? Oga if you try all you need to try and she refuses to change, please marry another wife!
You have the strength to be looking for hotel but don’t have strength to go spend 2hrs in church. Oga carry your lazy self dey go church osiso. For you to be considering second wife means you’re truly cheating. Onye ashi. How will you say the truth when you don’t go to church, how kwanu
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
Eweeee!!!!
DeleteSo it's only people that goes to church that are truthful? Wonderment!
DeleteYou really should improve the way you think and learn to see things from different points
Deleteof view and not just from your own little mind.
Some people aren't religious. I haven't been in church except like 5 times in 16 years and I'm sure God isn't angry.
DeleteFan Emmanuel, you that go to church how is your character any better? Or weren’t you the one advising a married woman to have a side cock?
DeleteAll Nigerian rulers are sworn into office on the Bible and Quran. That's why they are very truthful.
DeleteFan don't mind him. He is likely possessed and doesn't know it if not, why will he prefer going to hotel to church?
DeleteKai! Stella you stubborn gan. 🤣 You still add this your provision store put. 🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeletePoster, kindly send her the link to this post so that she can see things from a different perspective and adjust.
Hahaha poster,thanks for telling SDK to hold her provisions store advice. 😂😂😂. On a serious note,take your wife out,to a nice resort,for a weekend getaway. And tell her everything written in this chronicle. She's your friend before becoming a wife. Serving God is an individual choice and If you guys are married as a believer,then you're to explain to her in clear terms,your stand. After covid my husband too,didn't feel the need to go church,until recently.
ReplyDeleteL am a very churchy type but this right here is the wrong way to get a Man to follow you to church and if she has been studying her bible very well she should know or she's probably getting wrong counsels from somewhere. BTW didn't issues like this come up before marriage and why are you a sit-at-home on Sunday kind of person? Just curious...
ReplyDeleteI am a woman looking forward to gett married.
ReplyDeleteI have rejected churchy men. I dread being forced to go to church.
Imagine sitting down listening to one scammer trying to scam me?
Mr. Man, if she continues sue for divorce and look for your perfect fit.
Women who hate churches exist.
Sweetheart, not every man of God is a scammer. We have Pastors who scam because we have originals whose hands are clean and are being used of the Lord and are genuine. Don't let the devil scam and cheat you.
DeleteLol.. 🤣 SDK still talk provision store.. which kind wahala be this 😂..
ReplyDeleteMy guy,. You are a real man,. You are a real Gee,
You are not impulsive,. You don't rush to make decisions just like me,. You like to be sure you've exhausted all possible options before closing a chapter,. But I'll tell you this from a bro to another bro.. close this chapter, there's no life at the end.
The disrespect and see finish is too much. Imagine a wife refusing to get pregnant because husband no dey go church.. nah,. You are with a very shallow babe.. and you're even a Christian sef.. but that isn't enough for her.. you deserve better..
My mom attends deeper life, my dad na pegan.. actually when he married momsi, momsi was a catholic, the deeper Life levels came years later but pman has never been a church person..
When momsi started deep, she won come dey allow those ones talk plenty enter her head say she gats do something about her unbeliever husband lol.. na so her pastors them go won come dey preach to my pman,. People wey no know themselves.. to cut the long story short, the day my pman shut her up for good was one evening he came back and gave her a newspaper to read the story contained there, it was that Rev King stuff.. after she finished reading, he asked her if she wouldn't mind if he begins to attend church and he also starts to womanise and commit atrocities like these ashawo pastors.. mumsi just lock up.. my pman na responsible father and husband,. He no use our welfare play,. He no dey carry woman, if he did, we never knew cos trace no dey.. so wetin come be your problem, you have a responsible husband and father for your kids, na because say him no dey go church you come won dey cause trouble for peaceful home? You sure say you know your priorities?
That was the day the whole church talk stopped and with time she saw things for what it is, one of my pman close friend that's late now had a secret family and this man can sabi go church ehn😂,. If e even visited us na him dey lead morning devotion.. then one other worker in their church too who wanted to finish all their church girls also secretly married a woman that got pregnant for him in another state,. A married man with 5 grown up kids.. momsi don learn to value her pegan husband 😂
@Dante, you are asking him to close chapter??? This is not enough reason to walk away that's if i got you right. It's a matter of compromise. His wife should let him be. He must love his wife, let him try all ends before closing chapter pls.
DeleteDon't be in a hurry to ask someone to close chapter. How do you know there is no life at the end?? Anything can happen.
T,.
DeleteThere are boundaries in stuff,. Refusing to get pregnant because of church attendance? A wife?
Are you for real? If he was your brother will you be saying this?
Have he not been ridiculed and insulted enough..
Please, just avoid my comment make I no vex for you..
If you like marry and go and be constituting nuisance, frustrating a man's life and be saying it's not enough reason..
This man is already sleeping in hotels every weekend because of lack of peace, what if something happens to him outside one night because he is avoiding his wife's troubles
@Dante, you like vex, It's your choice. I'm far from you so while you stew, i can't see you or your face. Don't waste your emotions.
DeletePls read to understand, and also read in between the lines. God bless you.
Poster try to report her to people she listens to and state your fears to them. It is not a must to go to church, she should let you breath pls.
ReplyDeleteShe's a terrible woman for denying you peace. If she won't stop and take in for you, pls marry a second wife. What the hell is that behaviour for?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you encourage that nonsense from here. I don't think I will leave my home for a woman. It can never be me. Na she go visit her parents here. Give her a stern warning and not to interfere in your peace of mind. A woman's ruthlessness is nature punishment on a simp and weakling.
© TEEJAY
Teejay this comment up here is why u are still single. I don't support the part of not getting pregnant o. But you men honestly think this life ends here on earth. Poster your wife's approach to things is not right. But you sef think about your own soul. Think outside the box poster. In that hotel room, do you do your online service and pray? If your answer is yes, then give it time, your wife will come around. But if you seat there and drink beer and eat suya, then hmmmmm. Do not neglect the fellowship of believers. There are bad people/things in the church. Go bcos your eyes are focused on Jesus not the pastor nor members.
DeleteThis is what happens when ppl do not marry their fit. She knew having a husband who attends church was important, yet she went ahead and got married to someone who did not share her views. See wahala. The only people I think regular attendance at church is encouraged for are those who are born again. This is why Christians are warned not to marry someone that they are not equally yoked. If you are not born again there is no mandate for you to attend church, that does not mean she cannot still nag you. Nagging is possible with or without Bible verse. If things have gotten to the point where you are choosing not to sleep at home then you need to both see a marriage counsellor. If you love and respect your wife and this is the only issue then you should both try to fix it before the marriage deteriorates further.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure this happened during their courtship,maybe he was going,then stopped after marriage .
DeleteStella oooooo🤣🤣, you this woman, U be case.
ReplyDeletePoster, why don't you want to go to church with your wife? Marriage is a compromise, often times it's not comfortable but we do them because we love our spouse and we want to keep our home.
How I wish this was proper discussed during courtship.
If going to the church will make her happy, why not go rather than break your home because of flimsy reasons, which you will later regret.
If you are the type that get really bored or sleepy from sermon, choose church that have maximum of 2hrs service and attend with your wife.
Let me tell you the truth, couples that pray together, stay together. See church as sometimes your wife really want and do it to make her happy.
Stella and her provision store advice. lol. Oga, i am a woman and i completely support you. You are free to marry another wife if she doesn't change.
ReplyDeleteI hope she realises time waits for no one. I hope she won't beg "to be accepted back" when it's late. Attending service on sunday is good but should not be a condition to having children. Does she understand what she's doing or being deceived by an envious friend?
ReplyDeleteMay she narrate truthfully the complete story to her listeners by the time she personally destroys her home
Hmmm. God Abey ooo. Just going to church will scatter a marriage. Nothing no fit scatter marriage now. Oga you set trygo church nah at least once in a while
ReplyDeletePlease it's not compulsory for him to attend church. You can't force him.
DeleteWahala man you don't want to go to church but if she does fire prayer for you prayed in church and it works you will enjoy the blessings
DeleteGo away selfish man. Wife
too is at fault let her leave you alone
Poster, could you speak to any of her parents to talk her out of that or you both see a professional, because your marriage is ending somewhere not too good, it takes a little while before another lady smells what you yearn for and take an advantage of that.
ReplyDeleteShe's not going to get her desired result in this manner, what was her reason for marrying you when she knows she wants the church type.
Her reason for not wanting a baby with you yet is somehow, she should tone it down. You attend church not just the physical one, a wise woman would have turn to God in prayers to win you over Himself.
Felicity
I used to be a christian until my eyes opened and i started reasoning with my brain.
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine being forced to attend church again.
I understand, Poster.
I cannot imagine going to church again.
That ship has sailed forever.
If your wife keeps insisting, end the marriage and find a more compatible woman.
Meanwhile, enjoy the misery.
This stelikoko na serious case I swear!!! Poster clearly stated you should not add" provision store" to your advice, but alas you did. 😅😅😅
ReplyDeleteDear poster, while it is not a by force thing to go to church, it is an instruction not to forsake the assembly of the Brethren.
ReplyDeleteHebrews 10:25 AMPC
[25] Not forsaking or neglecting to assemble together [as believers], as is the habit of some people, but admonishing (warning, urging, and encouraging) one another, and all the more faithfully as you see the day approaching.
She has no right to insist or force you to go to church. It's your choice and prerogative. Here's my advice, you know your wife, maybe staying away from the house for a week will reset her brain. She can pray for you and trust God. I know people who don't go to church but are believers. Talk to someone who she respects to communicate this to her since she is not getting it.. Her right stops where yours starts, no matter what.
It is well.
Oga save your self the stress and go to church, at least please her for once. How many hours will you spend in church bikoo...You have the strength to spend hours and money in a hotel, all because you are avoiding church. Na WA for you abi you dey possess.
ReplyDeleteTo me, it's mentally draining going to church and ending up listening to nonsense doctrines and messages. I know I don't believe in most of their practices, so why should I sit down listening to them every Sunday? I don't know posters reason for not going to church though. I believe he may have a different reason from me.
DeleteStella he said you should not put provision shop, you still advise on getting provision shop🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeletePoster, it is well with you o
This is one of the mistake christian wives are making. Placing church over marriage. Mind you God didn't create church He only instituted marriage. Of you use your churchy to destroy your marriage.
ReplyDeleteBible it's wise womsn that build her home. So use wisdom. No be gragra
Like say na by going to church.
ReplyDeleteIt na by going to church or the other one, Nigeria for be a better country.
You don't force someone to go to church, unless na child.😎
This is not good at all. A home is where one should have absolute peace and not where you get panic attack. If she is not giving you peace, you should take a break from this marriage.
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly do people discuss or observe in courtship these days?
ReplyDeleteI disagree with Stella on this. He should go with his family to church. He wants to scatter his family. He should read Hebrews 10:24-25, Acts 20:7
ReplyDeletePersonally I don't go to church,I do my prayers at home, going to church at time I feel distracted.Poster did she know about this during courtship or you just changed overnight? Just take her out,have a heart to heart chats with her,how many wife are you going to marry? What if the second wife is the same
ReplyDeleteSee as una dey blame the woman. Na wa o. The man is the one who should be a father and husband to his family. Take them to church and gather them to pray. Or he join another group?
ReplyDeleteI go to Church With My kids only
ReplyDeleteTo be Sincere you dnt force An Adult to go to church with you, Sit her Down and Talk Sense into Her..
Salvation is Personal ..
Let her keep going to church and be praying for you One day you might change your mind and follow her..
Even she not getting pregnant because you dnt follow her to church is totally wrong..
She's actually a Sinner ,That is not how Christians behaves..
I hope she listens and Change for Good🙏
Iya Boys still Add Provisions shop again🤣🤣
Hello iya Boys
Even though church attendance is good, that should not be a reason for breaking a home. She does not need to nag about it. Pls let her read this post maybe this will help.
ReplyDeleteMy husband too has not entered church for the past 8yrs and I no get energy to force a full grown adult to church.
I only ensure I take my kids along when going.
One day, my son (10yrs old) asked him if he is a Christian, he said yes. The boys ask him why he does not follow us to church, he said his church is different from ours. The boy told him but you stay at home every Sunday..him began to shalaye..I no put mouth.
Though he reads his Bible and pray at home, he do say it is not about going to church it is about doing the right thing.
Dear Poster, to answer your question; yes the bible clearly says "do not forget the assembly..." (church)
ReplyDeleteAbout your wife's nagging, I don't support that but you see, sometimes as women we don't realise we are nagging. So I will say be patient with your wife and let her know she's pushingyou away. I don't understand why she's putting childbirth on the hold until you start going to church.
Were you going to church during courtship and stopped after wedding?
You not sleeping at home on weekends is not a good idea, same as the thought of 2nd wife.
Why don't you want to go to church? Is it because of "church hurt"? Is it that you don't like your current church?(
Your marriage is too young for this. Is it possible you can go with her every other Sunday and see if the nagging comes down? Finally can you both try counselling. It doesn't have to be in your church but with a professional.
No wonder I have been feeling somehow since morning 😙😙
ReplyDeleteMy visitor welcome although I'm expecting you.
Oga you need to create more room for communication.if you leave her without being led by the holy spirit, you might get another worse than her.The devil you know is better than the angel you do not know.
ReplyDeleteThis woman is very sad.She goes to church alone and finds other women with their husbands in church and remembers her hubby.
As a couple,it's important we cooperate and live as friends.Pleaae even if you aren't used to going to church, can't you do so for the salvation of your soul?
Yes! You can still be in your room and fellowship but the bible wants us to live in love and fellowship with one another.(Hebrews 10:25) not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing but encourage one another and all the more as you see the day approaching.
(John 12:31),it tell us Satan is the ruler of this world (earth).he will bring nothing to you rather than pain and sorrow.our fellowship with Christ is very important.
When you commit and embrace fellowship with God's people, you gain opportunities for joy, mutual comfort,unity, encouragement and peace.(2 cor 13:11)
But if na the man dey complain say the wife no dey gree go church if he wants her to, the comments will tell her to try and be attending to avoid issues.
ReplyDeleteYou are obviously a Christian and in her head, she married a Christian which in the real Christian sense entails going to church, if not everytime, at least from time to time.
What exactly is ur reason for not wanting to go? Is it because of tithe and offering that you feel they want to scam u off? Last I checked, those are not even compulsory. It’s like u enjoy the nagging, if not, you’d have tried to meet her halfway
lexxon
ReplyDeletei am a 'church man'....
ReplyDeletechurch no be by force...
for my fellow church people here..
ps note...you win people with love...not by any other means..
this is the Lord's messge to israel through jeremiah...Jeremiah 31:3
I am not sure she just decided to force this church thing on you, its either you changed church wise or something else happened.
ReplyDeleteBecause I'm not sure she would
have married you knowing you dont like church.
Poster, I can imagine the frustration. That's why it's good to marry the one you reason in thesame frequency with. The one who shares same views with you on religious affairs etc or someone who is willing to learn.
ReplyDeleteYou are very wrong if you have not explained to her about the things you know about religion which has made you to stop prioritizing the religious activities. If you don't teach her, how will she understand your plight? It really makes no sense to just tell someone that cares about you that you don't like going to church without sitting her down to teach her the things you know about this religion and spirituality and let her share her own view and in the end, both of you will know whose point is baseless and who has a better point. Do them with scriptural backings. There are many passages of the scriptures I use to stand my ground on why I stopped prioritizing religious activities anytime they try to make me feel like I don't love God because I don't go to church.
Please share your knowledge to with her. You are not being reasonable at all because I didn't see where you wrote that both of you have sat down to have a study about God's standard of worship with biblical references.
For me , I know that the bible says that a time will come and that time is NOW! when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth. For indeed, the Father seeks such to worship. You will not need to go to this mountain or the other before you can confirm that you have worshipped God, meaning, you won't need to go to Redeem or Winners or Chosen or CEmbacy or Catholic or Anglican before you can worship God. The true worshipers will worship God in spirit and in truth even from the toilet, in the vehicle, anywhere they find themselves. Everything about a true worshiper is just to build a one on one relationship with the father. Building themselves towards holiness everyday. Trying to grow in faith and spirit. I know say you no sabi these things, because some people don't just want to go to church without valid reasons, just flimsy excuses.
I am not encouraging any body to stop going to church. If your place of worship practices sound doctrines why not continue fellowshipping with them? Afterall the bible says that we should not despise the gathering of the believers. If I find a place where they don't preach garbage I will join them in fellowship. For now , I am on my own.
Any error you see up there abeg correct them with your eyes. No time to proof read.
This should not scatter your marriage.
ReplyDeleteLet me ask you oga, where you like this before she married you or you were attending church before and then changed after marriage?
Let it not be what I ordered versus what I got.
Some people marry their choice in all areas including religion, if you changed after marriage, it's unfair on her.
On the other hand, if you had always hated going to church before marriage and she married you like that, let her know that she saw you like this before marriage.
Honestly.
DeleteThe last statement just reminded me of my stupid ex who met me wearing trousers. In fact the first day we met I was in trousers . Never did he mention to me that he detests trousers until we were several months into our relationship. Just one day, boom he was talking rubbish that I have to stop wearing trousers and stop making up.
I chose my peace mind and left the relationship for him to be with someone with same mindset as him.
Thank God we didn't get married before he even opened up.
People should really stop pretending and just say what their views are immediately to avoid wasting people's precious time.
I think you should go to church with her and I’m not churchy
ReplyDeleteThe fact is she’s probably feeling a little deceived like you did bait and switch on her
She married a church going guy and now you’ve switched. Just go with her and gradually drop off if you must
It’s 3 hours out of a whole week and you’re doing something she enjoys doing . Heck I spend more time doing things for others than the amount of time it would take for you to follow her to do this. Just consider it an activity
It will make her happy and she may even decide on her own to stop going
Where you going to church when she met you? Did you marry in church? If yes, you're hurting her by not going to church again. If I were her, I will feel bad. There is no blank space in spirituality as something must fill it up ; consciously or subconsciously. Shebi VDM carry his babalawo boldly go Abuja for the riskygate. Who and what do you carry. Church fellowship is an important aspect of Christianity. You are free to choose another spiritual route and let your wife know your stance. Life is spiritual so you cannot sit on the fence. Go to church or quit being a Christian!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat guarantees you people advising him to marry a second wife that the 2nd wife will be perfect in all ways? Was poster going to church before marriage? Did he tell the wife he won't be going to church after marriage? Mrs O
ReplyDeleteMy friend, go to church.
ReplyDeleteNa akwaghari na hotel every Saturday. Na so una dey form hard guy, old age you will start looking for what is not missing.
Better use your youth to serve the Lord. True worshippers worship God everywhere including in the church.
If I were her, I will start looking for husband. She is unequally yoked with you. She want her children to know God early and with a father like you, they may be indifferent. Ladies and Men pls take note of this while dating. Know your priorities. Date people that love the same thing.
KING XOXO MYSTERY