REGRET
I did something I'm regretting not because I'm at fault but because this isn't me.
I had some disagreement with hubby. He asked me to carry out an errand.
I did and told him the outcome when we were talking on phone and the next thing he started shouting at me.
I was so embarrassed that I was crying while on phone in the place he sent me to. I later went home. He came back and started shouting and I couldn't keep quiet and I flared up. He said I was challenging him and he said I'm behaving same way my mother behaved to my late dad.
I became furious because he insulted my parents and went physical. I regret my actions but he brought out the worst in me. We've been keeping malice since then but I'm sorry for my actions.
Hmmmmmm how did he know about your late mum and Dad? Probably something you confided in him? Hmmmmmm.
You should have walked away cos now you have physically abused him...Apologise and stop telling him thing s he might use against you during altercation
The deed is done already. Keep apologising to him. Don't like people that involves family members in their squabble. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteI wish this man will walk away from this marriage. No matter what you should not abuse anyone physically.
DeleteHope you know verbal abuse is abuse ?
DeletePoster Sorry about your ordeal...It is sad that betrayal will come from someone who you should confide in , would use same to insult you during a fight or quarrel... That's not nice at all....
ReplyDeleteI believe this has been going on for long...Stella he physically abused her not her physically abusing her...Omo I hate emotional and physical abuse oh....
He should be the one apologising to you how dare he insult your parents and hurling insults on you...
Stay neutral, don't share intimate details about your family anymore, try to manage your emotions (he is a toxic person)
All the best
Poster Sorry about your ordeal...It is sad that betrayal will come from someone who you should confide in , would use same to insult you during a fight or quarrel... That's not nice at all....
ReplyDeleteI believe this has been going on for long...Stella he physically abused her not her physically abusing her...Omo I hate emotional and physical abuse oh....
He should be the one apologising to you how dare he insult your parents and hurling insults on you...
Stay neutral, don't share intimate details about your family anymore, try to manage your emotions (he is a toxic person)
All the best
No, I think she physically abused him
DeleteNo, she was the one that physically abused him
DeleteOh Thanks Eka and Dante for the correction...Haa poster please apologize to him and then enrol for counselling for both of you....Cook him his favourite meal and apologize...
DeleteMost husbands will use what you tell them and use it against you. Apologize and don't beat yourself he used reverse psychology on you. We all make mistakes. Let it go.
ReplyDeleteBut don't confide in him again about your parents. He has shown you what he can do with information.
Next time you can listen without hearing what someone is saying.
Reverse psychology now when a lady is abusing a man physically. I thought you people said no matter what a man should not abuse his wife physically. You see the double standard you people are operating. Now you see how some emotional abuse is far worst than physical abuse. Think about this chronicle when you start raining abusive words on your husband the next time
DeleteStop beating yourself dear Sis. Just apologize and free your mind and you would fine.
ReplyDeleteDid you slap him?
ReplyDeleteYou're feeling bad so I'm assuming he didn't hit you back and maybe walked away.
Apologise and mean it. You know your husband more than any one else. When he forgives you abeg don't try it again and apply wisdom next time or stay quiet.
Apologise to him. Just so you know, you're both at fault. He's wrong for shouting at you even when you got home. You're wrong for raising your hands on him. And he's sooo freaking wrong for insulting your parents, no regards for them.
ReplyDeleteThe moment you hit him, you lost all leverage to win this issue. No matter the provocation, you should have never raised ur hands against him. If he insulted ur parents, you should have returned it to his (if at all you needed to react) and not resort to hitting me. Now, you have no legs to stand on this.
ReplyDeleteGo and apologise for hitting him. Apologize profusely and when all is well, you can raise how u didn’t like how he shouted at u or how he insulted ur parents. You are not a he-goat, no one should be shouting at u.
You're right about your first paragraph and that's exactly how it is now.
DeleteI've apologised and he said no. I wish I can give Stella his number so that she can beg him for me.
Anon don’t beg him again
DeleteIf you call someone’s late parents into an argument whatever your eye sees you should take. The nerve of him to insult your mother and pout about it. Nonsense
Eh! Without defending your flare up, no one deserves to be shouted at, if that’s what he really did
ReplyDeleteHe needs to know it’s unacceptable and you both need to sit down and agree on what is acceptable/not in your partnership
Keep quiet,una no go gree. Small pr*ck when your body , you don table your family matta. This is just the beginning,he will still you more from what was supposed to be your family secret.
ReplyDeleteI'm a firm believer in keeping somethings private when you enter marriage as a woman.
DeleteAs long as it's not something that negatively impacts your marriage, keep your mouth firmly shut.
No be everything be gist.
Don't be running mouth like a sewing machine, talking about wat your mother did to your father, what your father did to your mother, how your brother stole as a child, how your sister raised pant in the middle of market..when your husband and inlaws want to table your matter, you will not survive it.
If your mouth is 'scratching you, go and buy that min-me chin chin that is like rock and eat.
17:10 r u sure u want to make this heaven that all of us are eyeing?? Haba, see the way u made me laugh. Wai mouth like sewing maching n minimi chin chin like rock. Kai🤣🤣🤣
DeleteStella, partners know about their partner's families beyond confided matters.
ReplyDeleteSome families still do pre-marital investigations about their children prospective partners and their families.
Some partners snoop (It is supported here by some blog visitors, right).
Some families do not hide their weaknesses. Even on the day of first visit by a prospective in-laws, they show themselves.
Most families show themselves during preparation for the marriage ceremonies or during the ceremonies.
Some fathers and or mothers talk down their partners in public or during visits to in-laws homes.
Some couples know their families before marriage
Some families show their behaviour or fullness/emptiness during crisis by their married children. For example, a married man/woman has a serious problem and no family member shows up to assist or care. The partner of that person will induct or deduct what type of family the person has.
15:50, pls @ ur first line, add some. Dfntly not me going ro tell my husband somethings that happened between my parents. They also have a right to their privacy, if they find him worthy, they would tell him their stories themselves, but dfntly not me telling him about things that even within our extended family, not everyone we wud tell. N it’s mostly women that do this rubbish, on a normal day men won’t even tell u personal stuff about their close friends, then is it personal secret btw his mom n dad that he wud tell u??? Haa
DeleteLol..
ReplyDelete"If he hits you once, he will hit you again,. Sis, leave to leave,. He is a beast for hitting you, only a coward hits a woman, they cannot challenge their fellow men, it's only on a woman body they have power,. I wish you can get him arrested or invite your brothers to come and beat him up,. If you don't have brothers, go and pay boys to beat him up,. Them leave that marriage with that animal "
Now change the 'he' to 'she'.. 👌
Hehehehe
DeleteDante! Dante!! Danteeeeee!!!
You saved the template for a day like this?
Man don laff taya.
Hahahaha
Ina akogheri ka! Goshhh
DeleteHehehe
DeleteABI shey now you see them advising apology,. We're not seeing the equivalent of "don't accept even if he apologize, leave to live and if you're going to forgive him, call a family meeting first and report him to both family so he would never try that again"..
Na why dem no dey like my comment be this 😁
Abi the "there is no excuse to hit a woman" na so then go write an in capital letter,. But see as them dey excuse am because of shouting,. So there is now an excuse to hit, depending on who does the hitting 😂
DeleteBecause of shouting or because he insulted her mother ?
DeleteDante the difference Is that a woman hotting with her hands is nothing compared to a man just wozing a woman. It's very different. Same reason why woman and men don't compete against eachother in sports except relay race and even that, there are rules. Testosterone no be moi moi. Stop comparing
DeletePoster so sorry , just keep Apologing to him oo, pele everything is gonna be alright...
ReplyDeleteHello iya Boys
I know their type men your secret is not safe with them.
ReplyDeletePoster please apologize immediately because i do not support physical abuse in any form, you can take him out for dinner then use beter knack and seal it after 😜
ReplyDeleteWomen stop telling your partners things they may use against you tomorrow..be warned!!
He refused to eat my food.
DeleteIf I greet him he don't answer me.
My own is that hope you beat him well sha? Because you've now reset his brain hopefully he won't try such again. That's how I reset mine own brain. I gave him serious beating since then it's over 10yrs he hasn't tried it.
Delete18:54 are you kidding me? you beat up your husband?hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahha wetin i dey read so?
DeleteHead of house dey keep malice like tata.
ReplyDeleteEven after apologising.
Wonder where you women pick your trash from.
Pẹ̀lẹ́..just apologise to him. You know him better, so you know how best to go about it. But you both need to talk about what led to the abuse.
ReplyDeleteOn keeping secrets - Do women and wives think their secrets are not known or will never be known by others apart from husbands and sometimes their children?
ReplyDeleteThe real issue is being left unaddressed for "You told him secret hence ..."
Poster, admit that your marriage had challenges before that day. It was rocky or had undercurrent that erupted in your both actions.
Ask yourself: Was that the first time he raised his voice at you? Did you handle the errand well? Have you had history of mishandling family errands and being guided right without adjustments by you? How good or well generally was you both relationship as a couple before that day?
If you like alibi the incident. On your reason for being physical, you need not apologise. Just relax. The steam will ease out and you both will go back to the status quo. It is the status quo that matters. If you both do not change, the incident will repeat again and again. If you like go and hide your family secret(s) in Fort Knox. You cannot hide you. We are essentially who are parents are or how living with them impacted us, or who we choose to be instead of being our parents or what we learned living with them.
You both are at fault
ReplyDeletePlease don't beat yourself too much on it
Apologies to him and don't share your secret with him anymore
Some men Sabi run mouth like tap
Uhhm sorry for the regret but he won't forgive you for this just hope for better and talk with him politely
ReplyDeleteHe will forgive her
DeleteHe’s pouting
He was wrong too
Poster stop cooking for him and rest for now. Pray to God and let God take control
There is something wrong with the union at the core. No matter the problem, in a loving union there is respect between partners and that respect created a boundary of how far you go with each other. Both of you did wrong in this situation which probably means that a breakdown happened in the union long before this incident. Now, with this fracas things are worst. A marriage can come back from most things but it requires real commitment from both.
ReplyDeleteSince you did the most and took the situation to the extreme, then the onus is upon you to apologise. You will have to be the one to broker the peace here. But don’t just try to go back to the way things were, work on the foundation of your relationship because there were cracks already before this awful incident. You both need to learn respect and humility in your marriage. When did you stop being lovers and best friends?
This is how it starts, hope you won’t hit him again if he eventually forgives you. You hit him because you knew he wouldn’t hit you back, I wish he gave you small beating so your eyes will clear. If you can hit your husband, any one living with you will be receiving the beating of their life always. I pity people around you.
ReplyDeleteYour man is going to emotionally finish you. Shouting at you like a child that you even started crying. Sorry poster. All the best in that marriage
ReplyDeleteEven some wives use their husbands secrets against them. Both gender are guilty of most things. Let's not turn "we" women to the saints in marriage please.
ReplyDeletePoster apologize, keep apologizing and be remorseful then trust God to touch him
ReplyDelete