UNSTATISFACTORY MARRIAGE
Stella
Stella
I have been married for ten years now and i those years i don't think i have 'COME' ten times, yes i was counting, i have complained and complained, how can my husband just open your legs and just wade in like that regardless, then do whatever and leave me hanging all the damn time?
Sometimes when I even start to feel it, he is done, then he will be like we will continue later, for where, then weeks will pass then the same thing repeats itself.
When i go to him and start to touch after konji want to wound me, he will just lie down there like a log of wood, i will be the one touching and carresing and licking and all, he will won't touch, next thing he go in and finish without considering me, very selfish m#ther focker.
Recently i wanted to go meet him again but i was like, what is the need when after everything he will leave me high and dry. I am not a maniac or anything, I just want to atleast 'COME' or enjoy it whenever we get around to doing it or am i asking for too much?
I am tired of all this nonsense, to think we are both in our early 30s, like is this what i will see for the rest of my life?
I have told him that i no longer enjoy GBENSHING with him and complained about how wack our GBENSHING life is, at least to me, cuz it seems like he is enjoying himself, only for this man to start hammering on the statement i made about not enjoying gbenshing with him, and trying to make a big deal out of it and just giving me attitude.
When i go to him and start to touch after konji want to wound me, he will just lie down there like a log of wood, i will be the one touching and carresing and licking and all, he will won't touch, next thing he go in and finish without considering me, very selfish m#ther focker.
Recently i wanted to go meet him again but i was like, what is the need when after everything he will leave me high and dry. I am not a maniac or anything, I just want to atleast 'COME' or enjoy it whenever we get around to doing it or am i asking for too much?
I am tired of all this nonsense, to think we are both in our early 30s, like is this what i will see for the rest of my life?
I have told him that i no longer enjoy GBENSHING with him and complained about how wack our GBENSHING life is, at least to me, cuz it seems like he is enjoying himself, only for this man to start hammering on the statement i made about not enjoying gbenshing with him, and trying to make a big deal out of it and just giving me attitude.
He is expecting me to apologize for the statement, please is there something wrong with that statement? I just want to have 'COME', plus i really hate to m#sturbate.
Please dont use lwed s#x words, code it so i dont need to edit this post or delete
Didnt you see this red flag before marrying him? This complaint is why most women look outside oh...
From your explanation i dont think he will be able to change or do what you want,if you cant help yourself, please shut gbenshing down in your mind and put all the energy into a hustle....I cant advice you to read any motivational nonsense on this....You married a man that is emotionally dead.....
Na why some ladies dey like to gbensh before marriage oooooh...seeing is believing.....my dear doh!!!!
I am not an expert is this area.
ReplyDeleteAll the best!
The first 2 yrs of my marriage was sexually exciting but after the kids came and the house filed with domestic staff and relatives...I started having your kind of experience. At some point I gave up on it and focused on other things that are wonderful in my marriage. We were like that until the very first week we relocated and settled abroad. The guy just changed o and I was more than excited to keep up. We do a lot of sneaking around the children to get it hot for the past one year and it's exciting like mad. We don't even really do anything in the bedroom anymore and we don't have a live-in nanny. We are like mischievous teenagers sneaking around and I LOVE IT?😄
DeletePoster relax. He heard you. When the time and condition is right, he will surprise you.
Ms Saphire, I may be wrong, but it seems like your husband no longer had access to his side things when you guys relocated hence him having to focus on you. I may be wrong but hey
Delete@ 19:53- chai!!! You are who Yoruba calls tuletule- home wrecker. Despite the reasons sapphire gave for the dwindling sex in Nigeria , your evil surmise was her hubby had side something.
Delete19:53 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteMay God fix it
DeleteMao Akuh
Dear Poster I would advise you to use the SANDWICH method going forward when you want someone to improve on something especially for a topic as delicate as lovemaking with your husband or wife......You sounded too direct hence your husband's reaction and defense when you said he is not doing it well...Did you ask him if he is going through stuff? It could be financial, emotional, healthwise or psychological......Have you tried teaching him about knowing your body? No sex, just explore your bodies together to locate your sensitive points or areas......
ReplyDeleteFirst off, praise him first to massage his ego, mention at least 2 or 3 things he does well during your sexercise (this should not be hard for you) and how it makes you feel, then you say ''Babe I have been sensing you are distant during our lovemaking these days...Are you going through anything, you know I am here for you so we can resolve it together'' something in this line....It shows concern & empathy....Then you tell him '''You know I love you and I want us to still have it good like we always do''....Give him that assurance….You could also tell him other things to improve e.g Don’t say ‘’You don’t always take time to do enough foreplay’’ instead say ‘’Baby do you know when you do this or that, you hit my G-spot?
Always use the word ‘’What or how’’ not ‘’Why’’ because what or how makes the person open up to you effortlessly while using the word ‘’Why’’ makes the other party become defensive and at the end of the day, you both won’t be able to communicate well…..
With this approach, it gives room for open conversations, sensitivity, vulnerability and care…..Be genuine about it....
All the best
Poster read the above response over and over again. The best response so far. Having healthy conversation in relationship is key but is not part of our culture. Be very close to him through honest conversation. It takes time for some men to learn how to understand women body. And physiological issues could hamper men performance. Or it might be he is suffering from premature ejaculations.
DeleteNice one Phoenix
DeletePoster thhis right here is so
Weldone Phoenix. You deserve a blog of your own o, pr a consult of some sort. Many of these women, indeed persons here will benefit from you. Pls think about it.
DeleteThats why i look forward to your comments, always a delight to read from you.
DeleteDear poster pls read this.
Please get a side boyfriend or buy a vibrator. Yes that’s what I will do if I’m in your shoe. I will even get a female bestie but she must be a married woman oo, maka casting
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
Very wrong
DeleteSo make she cheat be dat. Na wa ooo
DeleteShe should get a side boyfriend and that’s what you will do. You should be very proud of yourself.
DeleteJesus in the most high😱😱😱😱😱
DeleteAbeg if you don’t like my comment waka go down go comment your own okay. Make thunder no fire una this afternoon
DeleteFan Emmanuel
Yeeee😂😂😂😂
DeleteWoman no dey cum for 10yrs, you expect her not to cheat because she’s Virgin Mary.
DeleteToday na 40k I use buy half tank, tell me what else will relief my pain if not cum. Make una jejel carry una sanctimonious self out of my comment.
Fan Emmanuel
I always knew this fan doesn't have sense. But she continues to confirm she lacks more than sense. She lacks empathy, home training, integrity, discipline and the list goes on
DeleteShe even lacks self respect. Kai!
DeleteSmh
DeleteAbeg make una leave fan . She's not the problem of the poster she only gave her advice give yours and keep it moving. As if man for bring this as chronicles e go cheat tire.
DeleteChizoz! @Fan🤣🤣🤣. Sorry about the cost of living and fuel situation. Such can either kill your libido or spike it through the roof. In fact loosing the libido is a sign the situation is defeating you so it's better it's off the chat. No matter what, chest the situation and do exactly what ensures your mind and body stay intact.
DeleteThank you my darling Ms Saphire. God go help us.
DeleteFan Emmanuel
And some people xes is not important. IT IS OOO. Yoir hubby is selfish when it comes to xes. It is meant to be enjoyed, not one person feeling satisfied and other not even close to it. Abeg, get a dildo if you can.
ReplyDeleteCandy dear, there are satisfaction dildo can't give a woman. She sure needs a good hot XXX.
Delete© TEEJAY
Madam get a vibrator for Christ sakes! Ignorance is bliss
DeletePreach! Extremely important.
DeleteI will never forget the day my boyfriend told me he had finished in the middle of foreplay. The way I screamed WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE COME, he had to restart his engine fast.
Candy candy candy
DeleteApostle must hear this
Teejay, as he's not doing what he should, then she should satisfy herself by using toys.
DeleteAnon, louder pls.
SpectacledPrincess, sorry I had to laugh,but whaaaaat!!
Poster,are you me?
ReplyDeleteMe I have taken my mind off it,na to take care of my children remain.
Very annoying something.
I enjoy it more in the dream now than in the physical, one thing I know is I will never never cheat.
Dream ke
DeleteChai!!!
Pele
For sex that's so sweet and pleasurable. This can't be me. Me wey active😁😁
ReplyDeleteOkay let me be serious.
Tell your husband how you want it. Be nice and romantic about it. He shouldn't just dive in and jumps out as if it's a stressful task. He should spend some minutes pleasuring you as to get you wet, set and ready. Not just to rush and insert d**k like one who's being chased. If his nature of work is the reason behind that, then he should choose a better day he won't be stressed and do it rightly.
If you're the kissing type, you should start with that with him while his two fingers goes down your V with a gentle thrust, then increase the tempo gradually while still kissing you or have your nipp** in his mouth.
You both belongs to each other. So feel free to explore. If you have a great hygiene and super clean down there, he shouldn't mind giving you a good head if he's the type that don't frown at such. You equally reciprocate if he's clean down there and good hygiene as well. All these puts you into the mood properly with a vibrating legs begging him ''Daddy f**k me.'' ''I want you in.'' Though some women climax on just being fing**** and suc**d. If he can thrust up to ten minutes the first time without pulling out, I think it's a good start. Men generally cum faster on first ride. So ten minutes or more on first marathon is a great one.
Some men don't know how to do it right at bed. They just do the missionary and get done. You're experienced, so you can talk to him how to get it right. Who knows, he might pick up and starts doing very well.
Next time don't let him cum or dive inside if he won't pleasure you too. He should touch you very well and get you set.
© TEEJAY
A lot of women don’t reach orgasm from penetrative sex.
ReplyDeleteYour husband may be very vanilla or he’s dealing with some sexual trauma he hasn’t healed from.
I know you are very frustrated but your approach was not right. Sex is a delicate manner and should be approached softly so it doesn’t trigger certain insecurities.
Sex therapists exist and can be used. But they can be expensive.
Alternatively, sit him down, tell him how much you love him and you want it to translate to exploring each others bodies as much as possible.
Play sex games, watch a few erotic (I didn’t say porn) movies, ask him about his experiences and preferences, tell him yours and both of you act it out.
You may want to get alcohol and music involved. Introduce anything that makes him free from inhibitions and gets him lively. For example, I typically get my own wild side started with a private latenight hangout, some alcohol, deep gazes and heavy petting.
It’s a gradual process and don’t expect change all at once. Any small change you see amplify it and show excitement.
If he’s not a romantic person and doesn’t typically go the extra mile for you, then my dear this wouldn’t work. You may have to explore toys to get you to where you want to.
Best of luck.
You’ve done well by telling him
ReplyDeleteNo tell him to channel is anger to the place 😁
You both need to see a Sex counselor, it's not what you can do alone.
ReplyDeleteSex counselor sef dey experience sex disorder bayii
Delete@16:19 it's not by responding quickly. Respond with sense.
DeleteE go loud today o with the advice
ReplyDeletePoster,you have to apologise to him because you bruised his ego. You had a valid point of view to discuss with him but you went about it flippantly. Take him out for a date and tell him nicely your pains. Then crash at a nice hotel. And give each others,your best. To me sex is food And it must enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteAre you married?
DeleteApologize for what exactly?
Who told you he does not know she is not satisfied before the outburst?
There is nothing to apologize for.
I have told u before except he doesn't care about ur feelings and doesn't want to learn...
ReplyDeleteDownload bestseller movies with lots of lovemaking and watch with him, show how u want him to touch u with u, how u enjoy lovemaking, he may not know how to make you come...
Tell him beautiful nonsense, how much u love him, apologize to him and stop fighting him by talking down on him.. Teach him..
Poster. I feel ur pain oo. Have a heart to heart talk with hussy. Another angle madam u no get problem oo. We wey dey fine food plenty for street na Gbeshing na him dey worry you. u go gbesh tired evidence nur go dey.
ReplyDelete@excess3code
Someone wrote the other day that majority married women don't enjoy sex.
ReplyDeleteSocial media and the lies people tell about this "coming/come" of a thing is deceiving you.
ReplyDeleteI follow a page on Instagram where 95% of what they discuss is all about sex and you will read stories of how their legs were shaking because of this "come" of a thing. Most of the stories are lies.
You better focus on your marriage and talk to your husband politely and sincerely about it.
Although from your write-up, looks like your husband is selfish, I think he's just trying to protect his ego by making it look like it's nothing but he might be worried too.
Just be polite.
How did you know the stories are false?
DeleteChaiiii
ReplyDeleteWill I say he's Selfish
Abi you go buy dildo
Abeg I dnt like that thing oooo
Is just to avoid cheating ooo
It is well...
Hello iya Boys
So you can’t make any comment without adding oooo to it
DeleteI wish I solution to give you. Your husband is selfish by the way.
ReplyDeleteSha don't consider gbenshing outside marriage, cos it seems that's where your thoughts are going before sending this chronicle. Please follow Stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteTry to hold your yourself be feeling reluctant about it whenever he comes I don't advise you to cheat oo I believe that your attitude will mk him to feel jealous, and he will give you attention
ReplyDeleteOr better still get a vibrator for yourself and mk he sees it even if you are not using it mbok
Do people still have the urge for gbenshing in this economy ?
ReplyDeleteI love xes soooo much
ReplyDeleteI can’t imagine going through this
I met a man one time he had so much and generous too,,kind and considerate man but when we got to do the do
He just licked my breast,put in his blokos and that was it
Haaaa Oga what did you just do?
What is this?
I literally started crying
I couldn’t deal
Me,that an akpe akwa ibom touched and changed my story,my ima ima,my ima fiop,my afang soup,my one and only akwa ima,the one man that is my complete package,chai I am getting wet ohhhh,my generous and kind soul,my one in a million man……..I sang in tongues and spoke in languages unknown,I walked on the clouds and caressed to the peak
Needless to say,I didn’t give that man a second chance I ran,I fled,I flew,i disappeared
Nah….. starve me with everything else not xes
Chai sorry poster
So sorry
Marry someone that has very vast xxx experience. Don't settle for newcomers.
DeleteYou dey crase see as you dey write like weyrey.
DeletePlease go and buy a good adult toy and use on yourself by yasef...
ReplyDeleteAt least you can cum in peace and still have peace in your home...
Economy good or bad, people go gbensh.
Poster, be calm and gentle with your hubby when discussing this kind of issue. He might be going through a lot and not happy himself, just using 'gragra' to cover up. Meanwhile don't even think of looking outside your marriage for 'solution ' that lies in there in your home. Don't even think of it.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain poster! I have never had an orgasm before. I started having s#x when I was 19 and now I am 35. Not cut, so that's not the issue. I recently got divorced and my new man got me a vibrator. Now I know s#x can be pleasurable. Plus he gives fantastic head. The big "O" hasn't happened yet but I am getting more comfortable exploring my body. Only downside of the toy is that I get too sensitive when the pleasure is building. I will totally recommend you get one. Most men are selfish, or at least the ones I have been with when it comes to pleasuring women. You have to help yourself.
ReplyDeleteI have been married for 24years and never once experienced orgasm.
DeleteI learnt to take it as my fate after he didn’t change nor care after lovingly pointing it out to him many times.
I now Chanel my energy into my children and work.
I have not done the do for close to 5years now.
Get yourself a vibrator my sister. You would be thankful you did.
DeleteAnon21:27 you say? No xes in 5yrs? And you are married? You and your husband dey same house? Wow!
DeleteNext time when you go to him, don't allow him jump into you, take charge of the game, ride, yes ride him and be watching his movement and move, once he acts like he wants to cum, pull out, and wait a little by playing with him all over again so that he go don calm down by then, then climb him again. That way, you go don satisfy yourself.
ReplyDeleteNo be everything them dey talk too much, before e go enter nagging.😎😎😎
So skilled. Hmmmm
Delete@Didnt you see this red flag before marrying him?
ReplyDeleteIs it not you people that always preach against premarital sex? How will she know? Now look!
Shooter Gyal
Your man ain't the least bit romantic. Don't even sound like he gets you revving before going in. I don't know. My last two pap smears were horrible and left me in pain for days, some how this kinda reminds me of that.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to tell you and I really do not want to hurt your feelings by being blunt. But we have to go there and dissect what is going on. Was you marriage one based on love or necessity? Were you his heart's choice or were you second or third choice? You also have to ask yourself if he is physically attracted to you. He is your husband, he is literally the only one you can go to for this so it is a big deal. Why is he not getting turned on when you are initiating? Could he be bisexual or batting for the other team? You are both young and in your best years seckually, he should be all over you and want to go at length, especially since you are a receptive person and have a strong libido. There is something else going on and you will have to find out what it is.
Sorry poster but have you tried to put the rod in your mouth while playing with the two golden balls? That is heaven on earth to me.let him touch your C and your nipples and there is no way you won't be in cloud ten and your cum will happen. If you don't cum,while in this act it's punishment.
ReplyDeleteAfter you cum, what next?
ReplyDeleteWhat next?
You get excited and you are in cloud 9 and it fades, then what next? You Cum again and again. So what is next?
All the people that have cum and will still cum, what next?
Can you not keep your mind active with more important issues.
Is sex food?
Enjoy your boring sex and think about how to contribute effectively in this Nigeria. Do not leave 70 percent to chase 30 percent except 30 percent is now your priority.
There are men that will give you that sex, hang your leg and bury your womb but unto what prize?
Go and love your husband, work out things or forbear it.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Why is this comment making me laugh so hard. Sorry they just want to cum, that's not bad nah. The economy does not concern her poor. Let just be Cumming for now to ease things
DeleteI still believe constructive communication is key.
ReplyDeletePoster still find a better way to communicate your concerns with him because from your write-up you still want your man.
Poster Pẹ̀lẹ́. I think you were too direct due to frustration. Our experienced bvs have given you suggestions. Please take the one that is most appropriate to you.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a terrible situation to be in. And you guy's are too young to be in this mess. Are you sure you guyz won't seek therapy?
ReplyDelete