This post is also about if the woman who earns more puts more or the table or she expects her man to put his all...............
The first question about the woman earning more between spouses is because most men are jealous when their wives earn more money and the Nigeria man may order her to stop working and be a sit at home wife...I hear some women opt for Jobs with lower salaries to respect their men....
The second question is because some Nigerian women (If not all sef) expect their men be totally financially responsible for the running of the home while they hide whatever they have...
On which of these have you found yourelf and how did it end? Are you presently a sit at home wife because your man wants it that way or because you cant find a job? Or are you a wife that earns more than her man?What is his reaction? Who contributes more to daily upkeeo.....
Lets gist!
Currently a sit at home wife because I’m still job hunting but in a way, I’m still somehow contributing financially.
ReplyDeleteI’m basically home with the kids till they are of free school age (this way, I’m saving expenses that would have gone into childcare, a lot for that matter). I’m also looking for a remote job because of this as well. This means that even if I’m working, I’m still helping to save expenses by still looking after the kids.
Now, when I was working, I contributed what we both deemed as fair, only because my husband’s salary back then wouldn’t have conveniently carried us and still allow him to save as much as he would have liked.
You are right, nne. You are saving not only school fees, you are also saving daycare related illness expenses. Sit at home mums are heroes. I earn way more than my husband and i take care of over 80% of the family expenses. I don't mind doing it. I still ask him for money when I want to buy expensive things for myself. He gives me money as well in appreciation for doing the kid's hair or things like that. As long as he is not lazy, not wasteful, not spending his money in a secretive way, i don't mind footing the bills. It is our family, our expenses, our happiness when bills are paid. I love making money and i love using it to make people happy, just don't try to fool me!
DeleteMay God come through for you regards the job search.
Delete15:43, this ur statement hit me ‘I love making money and I love using it to make people happy’.
DeleteThis is exactly how I am. I find it difficult to splurge on myself, Infact, I’m sad when I do but I derive some kind of inexplainable joy when I spend on my kids, husband, family and sometimes, friends!
I love your mindset @15:43, you are doing well 💐💐💐
DeleteThank you, Joy and Lora! Life itself is hard which we can't help but certain life choices can make things easier and lighter! I appreciate gifts and when my hubby spoils me but it is not a one man's job. I always tell me daughters to strive to be the 'president and not the wife of the president' It is not pride or arrogance but teaching them women's life and worth do not revolve only around men. A home belongs to a couple, anything you can contribute do it without keeping tabs! It is 'your' home not 'his' or 'her' home
DeleteI work and also support my home as it should be, although my hubby's contribution is more.
ReplyDeleteI earn close to N1m per month while my husband earns 1/3rd of my salary. It has never been a problem to me. Although his ego gets in the way sometimes. When we have small quarrel he’ll start to say because I earn more and all. Money has and can never be a deal breaker for me. I take my money as ours really and I help out as often as possible. It’s just money , it could be him earning more tomorrow so not a big deal.
ReplyDeleteI share your sentiment too. My husband has always been the higher earner from day 1 and so has always contributed more into household running and expenses, but if tables were turned, I would not mind contributing more in the least bit, life isn't supposed to be that hard.
DeleteAlso, I don't believe my husband will feel any type of way if I start earning more than he does at this level of his, or will in anyway try to stiffle my growth (he does the exact opposite even and is always pushing me to aspire for more).
Thankfully, money has never been a topic of debate/quarrel in our union from day 1, we don't even have any expenses cast in stones, we run it as the spirit and pocket leads (either of us can pay for anything ranging from rent, school fees, feeding etc and it's been working fine for us). He's been solely paying the rent the last 2 years though, I don't bother him for money if I want to pay for anything provided I can afford it, and if I can't, I tell him, and use his card, and vice-versa, no stress. If we both can't afford it, we rest.
Anon 14:16, take a long leave and stay at home. Tell him you are on leave without pay. Make him pay for everything. Sometimes we need to help our partners to see our worth. Na you wey use your mouth confess how much you dey earn mess up. Start billing him for everything from today.
DeleteWhich kain talk be that one now???. Hope you have emergency savings . Cos frustration tends to build up to dangerous levels with time
Anon 16:30: you and your advice should be avoided like plague
Delete@16:30
DeleteTomorrow, this advice would be denied if it is adopted and does not yield the expected result.
A young woman once lost out on a fair relationship. In her chronicle, she accused older or other Female Bvs of following their advice regularly given here not to help boyfriends. Una deny well well dat day. This is another of such advice.
A woman should take a long leave to teach her husband a lesson.
Try that in some companies or organisations, that is the end of the job. The position is either declared redundant or filled by another person or a better person at same or even lesser pay
Nose cut to spite the face!
If you are married to a good partner who understands accountability and reciprocates in whatever capacity they can, and doesn't take you or your efforts for granted, do all these matter?
ReplyDeleteI believe you won't even wait or need to be told to step up to the plate if you are the one who earns more. This should come naturally if you are 'one' in every sense. All this unnecessary scrutiny won't come to the surface! It is a partnership, not an avenue for keeping score.
True
DeleteI like reading your comment
DeleteGod bless you
Delete💯 true
DeleteI concur.
DeleteYou don't notice who earns more.
Ours is more like a partnership,you do this while I do this the moment his salary steps up, he refunds me fully while hailing me "oli ego na úkó ego" 😂
IF !
DeleteThe real first IF is - If the person is good.
The second IF is - If the good person is married to a good partner.
So, it is IF TWO GOOD people are married to each other.
We are keep looking outside for good for us to be good or before we do good or ...
God bless you Gaby
DeleteYou have said it all
Marrying a kind partner and being a kind partner can't be overemphasized.👏
Thank you 👍
DeleteThanks, Zaram. 💛
DeleteAmen. You too, Lora.
XP, you both seem like a playful couple. That's nice.
Amen. You too, FMW
You are welcome, BK.
I earn 750k a month while my spouse earns 500k, he thinks I earn 250k because I told him so.
ReplyDeleteI know his kind of person and I am glad I didn't tell him the exact amount I earn. I have been using my extra cash to get gadgets I need, I have gotten everything I need except a dishwasher which I plan to get next week.
After getting the dishwasher, I'll find something else to do with the extra money, maybe invest
He provides for the house, pays rent and takes care of every other necessity.
That a girl!
DeleteHow will u feel if he does the same to u?
DeleteU can still tell him and still get those things except he's a spender and not accountable
My wife is hiding how much she earns not knowing that I know but I don’t really care. Sometimes I feel stupid because though she hides her money, she still squeezes my income with bills because she thinks if I have extra money, I will do shina.
DeleteThis is bad, you earn more but he is still the one footing all bills and paying rent in the house. Kai Kai Kai.
DeleteIf he's good to you why hide your earnings.
DeleteI think it's wickedness though
👎
17:35, for your wife to think like that, you were not faithful at a point in your marriage or dating days. If you were a faithful man, she would not think you would cheat if you have loose change
DeleteI earn £10K per month, my spouse earns £4800K.
ReplyDeleteNo I don't tell him how much I earn. My ex-partner stole £20K from me the moment he discovered my worth and not paid back till date.
My spouse thinks I earn £4k monthly, I am using my money to build generational wealth for our kids.
Abeg what field are you and your husband in. I wan earn good money abeg
DeleteChai poverty die! die!! die!!. I had to covert the £10k to naira🤔
DeleteSome graduates will work for 35 years in Nigeria without saving half of your one month salary.
Congratulations Nne. Na God run am for you.
These figures. Hmmmm
DeleteI think its about the couple's understanding of the situation.
ReplyDeleteIf a man is jealous of his wife earning more and taking on more other house expenses,then he should try his best to earn higher and be the highest spender😁
That's just it for me.
It is bad English to compare two people or things and use superlative. The correct thing to say is-higher spender
DeleteThank you so much but it is hard work with long hours as nothing is easy. I work 50+ hours a week to be able to earn this which also affects my family life. I am in health care and this hard work is just temporary for a few years and also for my own sanity, but it has been very worth it.
DeleteWho did u marry?
ReplyDeleteDepends on the person u marry,who earn higher is not important.. marriage is partnership where both parties are doing everything to make it work..
Very true
DeleteCorrect 💯
DeleteWho are we.
DeleteThen,
Who did we marry.
If we like it another way, turn it around to
Who did you marry.
Who are you.
Some like the first way. Some like it the second way.
Since we cannot control other people, the first appears better.
Some people are never changed by others. They would rather leave or not be joined than be changed.
Some know their partners so they hide 75% of income.
Question: What part of the declared 25% goes into the family.
See that few or none stated that?
Question:
Why is it that those who hide the amount of their full income always know the FULL income of their spouses/partners?
Is it not because that is who they are - hiders/shirkers/selfers first? The only exception are those who got married to people who really changed or got changed by external factors after marriage.
Before we externalize -
Who are WE seeking to be married?
Ten gallons of red poured on half a gallon of white would not give a tangible colour change.
One gallon of red and one gallon of white will give a very tangible colour change.
#facts
Delete19:55 you can analyze o. You are another intelligent person. I think I will learn from you.
DeleteMost of you women can’t take half the shit you dish to men but when men turn around and mess you up you will amplify it like you didn’t trigger him.
ReplyDeleteIf I come this life again I no go marry, there’s too much selfishness in marriages these days and it’s alarming.
ReplyDeleteI earn 2 million naira and my husband earns 120k and maybe like 200k from his side gig. I foot all bills. Its nothing to me. If I could, I would have got him.a better j9b since I can't, I take care of everything and still give him at least 500k monthly. We are happy
ReplyDeleteGod bless you more
DeleteThe most important thing is that the both of you are happy..
Hello iya Boys
All I can say is that "E no go better for poverty". Na poverty dey worry all of una. Patapata 60yrs, life go tire you. All the fighting over material rubbish go tire you and life still goes on.
ReplyDelete