Hmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
I will try to explain this as much as possible so that as you read, you will understand why i am confused.
I am dating someone and we have been together for 7 months and i am three months pregnant for him....We didnt plan it but i was not looking forward to getting pregnant becos i have never been pregnant before.........
I am in my early 40's and was once briefly married to an impatient man who could not wait for me
to get pregnant and called me barren....I left the marriage for peace of mind...
I have been married over the years becos i noticed that i have never been pregnant and i always got careless cos i wanted to mistakenly get pregnant to see if i am OK.....
The man i am pregnant for is also in hi early 40*s but i am two years older...He doesnt mind.
The problem is that my boyfriend and i talked about pregnancy and hemade me understand he does not like kids and never wants to have one.....I told him that i have never been pregnant and have a medical disorder that prevents me from getting pregnant...He told me that he was careful about dating desparate becos he does not want to reproduce...
I am suprised that i am pregnant and will to let go of the relationship for this baby but how do i tell him? I need help on how to tell him
Take him out to lunch or dinner and just do it.........Do not stay in a private place and stand your groundDont mince words or start crying...
Simply tell him you are pregnant. He might leave because he told you he didn't want children, and you told him you had a medical disorder. At the back of his mind, he'd feel you are trying to trap him. Shaa, all the best when you tell him, and congrats on your pregnancy.
ReplyDeletePoster na wa oh....No matter how you wanted to take us on a rollercoaster 🎢 you got pregnant for utter motives...A case of cunny man die cunny bury am...
DeleteYou want to eat your cake, have it and still leave some in the refrigerator okwaya...I fear you but I no go run...
Congratulations 🎉
Only a truly pregnant woman could write something so confusing. Mommy brain in full effect.
ReplyDeleteThere is no special formula to breaking up with someone. You could ghost him or do as Stella suggested.
Whatever you do, do not abort. I will rather you call him over the phone and tell him make sure the call is recorded. Whatever reaction from him. He should be far from you so that he doesn't hit you etc. No matter what he says or tries to do, don't eat or drink from him. Safeguard this pregnancy with all you have got. All the best.
ReplyDeletePoster why are you bothered about this person instead of thanking God for this precious gift. You should careless on his feelings, even your family will support you. In old age do you think this man will be more important to you than your child? Please blank him until you give birth then you can tell him and keep your mind 50/50. You don’t need anything that will bother you now cos miscarriage is real oo, better be happy and carry your child to full term. I’m wishing you all the best
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
Take this advice!!!
DeleteNo need for JAMB questions!
She should care less about the feelings of the father of her child, someone she claims to be in love and in a relationship with, na wa for una o my gender.
DeleteWord
DeleteHe doesn't want kids and was pounding raw. What was he expecting? I guess plasma or refrigerator.
ReplyDeleteHow do you come to the conclusion that you're medically unfit to reproduce? Where you told by a doctor? If no, then that was a deception from you.
I'll advise keep the baby and tell him. Either he walks away or accept it. In anything you do, don't get rid of that child going by your narration on how you've suffered conception.
© TEEJAY
Ezege, that man has zero blame here. You don't have to include him in the blame to satisfy "the people"..
DeleteFirst, he told her he doesn't want kids, she accepted, and then told him she had a medical condition that won't make her get preggy.. also, from their agreement as adults, whether medical condition or not, she's not supposed to get pregnant..
She no be small pikin, let's not pretend or act like we all don't know what to do to avoid pregnancy..
Now she's pregnant, if she wants to keep it, she should tell the guy and if he doesn't want it, she should respect his decision and not guilt trip him, calling him a deadbeat and playing victim nonsense..
N.B.. if you're not Ezege and you reply me,. I go swear for you cos as you can see, I didn't mention your name here
You're very right bro. My apology on the first paragraph. Even in a law court she already dug her 'grave' it simply means she reneged on the agreement which is a contractual breach which is an offence punishable by law.
DeleteThe agreement should be binding. Tomorrow if the man is absent in the child's life, she'll labeled him deadbeat father whereas she brought it all upon herself.
Knowing how desperate and lying Nigerian women are, in such arrangement I won't go raw but use protection.
© TEEJAY
It is the carelessness for me.
ReplyDeleteIn your words OP, " i noticed that i have never been pregnant and i always got careless cos i wanted to mistakenly get pregnant to see if i am OK....."
This is the height of rank and utter stupidity. Bringing a life into the world not because you have an intentional mindset towards it but just because you just want to make sure you are okay. And you want to force a man into fatherhood even though he had clearly told you he didn't want children. So what happens when he asks you to terminate it? You gonna start wailing like a banshee?
You are a very selfish person. You planned this all along. I am only surprised you got a man who should have known better to fall for it. Enjoy your single motherhood
This is too harsh nau!
DeleteShe is permitted to be selfish as long as she doesn’t try to force or coerce the guy into taking responsibility.
Any single lady in her 40s who has the mind to fornicate, then get pregnant should take full responsibility for the child and not expect any support either physical, financial, emotional etc from the man. He just donated sperm unknown to him and should be treated as a donor.
I would only be concerned if he has some congenital issues that are transferable to his offspring hence his decision.
If I were you, I would ghost him and carry my pregnancy to term with pride.
No need trying to guilt trip him to change his mind.
Omo laso o, not oko…
Take it easy, you always sound harsh and off...
DeleteAnon. 16.14. Did the man ask to be a donor? Abi he doesn't have a right to say he doesn't want his DNA up there? I wish you women who think and do things like these will be punished with such unrewarding and truly disastrous children. Children who literally kill you people. So that next time, you consider the feelings of the men you take advantage off. Nonsense.
Delete17:49, just hold on to your holey brief for a moment. If a man is that freaking against being a father then get a vasectomy or wear veterinary grade condoms. How the hell you want to be all up in there feeling the heat and wetness but not remember your boys are swimming. Do you know some men never sex without a condom because they care about their health that much. Even married men wear condoms so gtfoh with the sentiments. If you don’t want to a child then wrap that shyt up, even if all you got is a plastic bag and some Vaseline use it!
DeleteIf the man doesn’t want children, getting a vasectomy is a very easy procedure. Both of them deserve whatever they get from this selfish union
DeleteThe man has the option of doing a vasectomy if he truly does not want kids. Both are adults. Both are to blame. If women are never to be trusted as you constantly claim, why leave things to chance? At lease he has the option to walk away and sign away all his rights. He enjoyed the fork too. Mchew.
DeleteAnons 17.49 your comment cracked me real hard
DeleteThe Most Complex B
This life sha, full of twist and turns
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck poster
This life sha, full of twist and turns
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck poster
Congratulations to you, just follow Stella's advice and if he still doesn't change his mind about having children receive strength and wisdom to raise your child alone.
ReplyDeleteExactly 👍
DeleteNne keep your baby o jare!
DeleteYou want a baby, he doesn't want a baby......be selfish o because na only you come this life, let him go if he can't stand it but don't compromise at all
That's a blessing you're carrying. I support you on letting go of the relationship if he feels upset. But do not terminate the blessing you're carrying. Also draw nearer to God because the pregnancy period is a critical period in a woman's life.
ReplyDeleteNigeria currently has 12million blessings out of school, why not adopt plenty if you want many blessings? Abi na only the one you born be blessing ni? Shior! It's the rubbish talk people like you have used to make many others raise the curses we are all experiencing today. From Akpabio and Yaya Bello as bad leaders to Bandits, Kidnappers and killers. Abi where they not children whom if you were there when they were born you will them blessings too ni? Children are liabilities, burdens that only becomes assets through rigorous, intentional and strategic upbringing, investments, including serious prayers and spiritual guidance.
DeleteAnon 17:54, come take a hug. Your head correct well, well. We think alike.
DeleteWell, congratulations to you. He already told you he doesn't want children. Don't beat yourself up, you probably thought you'll never get pregnant, I guess that's why you were careless with your sexual life.
ReplyDeleteYou should have a face to face conversation with him. The outcome of the discussion will determine your next step.
Goodluck!
Most sensible comment.
DeleteThis is like the story trending on X ,women pls when a man says he don't a child pls if you don't have the strength to cater for it alone abort mission, getting pregnant it's trapping/forcing the person to fatherhood .
ReplyDeleteParenthood should be a joint effort and agreement if you tell him and he leaves pls cater for your child alone since you ve had issues from the past concerning having a child.
Cheers to you safe delivery in advance
Is there any other way than to say what you planted has germinated pure and simple
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to you dear poster, you will carry the pregnancy to term in Jesus name, Amen
ReplyDeletePoster, keep your pregnancy. I hope you have gotten all the details about him like his family name and home town for future reference just in case he rejects you
ReplyDeleteHe told her upfront he does not want kids, she should not tread that path of involving his family members, he was truthful to her.
DeleteHe should not be forced to become a father.
Poster, don't coerce or force him, and don't let people make you believe he'll look for you and the child later in life, there are people who have made up their mind on procreation.
Someone sent a chronicle in that regards few years ago, Ayo Mogaji story is similar to it.
Felicity
Poster please don’t search for him. Respect his wishes. Just inform him and tell him that is why you want to end the relationship. Get ready to cater for the baby 💯 100 percent. If you’re not ready, please do the neeedful
DeleteCongratulations on your bundle of joy but be prepared to raise the child alone as he told you from the onset that he doesn't want to be a father.
ReplyDeleteYou can inform him but be ready to for his reaction (which is likely to be he doesn't want the baby). Pls send the relationship with him or be careful as he can decide to abort that pregnancy without your consent through food,drink or inserting drug into you. So I think you are better off walking away till you birth the baby.
If I were you, I will carry my pregnancy to full term, whether he accepts the pregnancy or not, don't you know that's your own blessing.
ReplyDeletePlease make sure to guide anything going to your mouth very well, especially if he's around you, before he will put abortion drugs in your food and drinks or send someone to do it, and don't let him know where you do your antenatal, so that he won't connive with the hospital workers and do you strong thing.
You will carry your pregnancy to full term in Jesus name and the baby will be successful and grow old in Jesus name.
Like SDK suggested,go out for lunch or dinner in a crowded place and break the news to him. He didn't do much for a man,that doesn't want to have kids except you took the condom.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations
ReplyDeleteHmmm.....this is complicated but it has to be said.
ReplyDeletePregnancy is no childs's play and from your write-up it was a consensual act.( Not like you guys was expecting soft fried dodo combined with better porridge beans)😂😂
If he doesn't want the child I pray You're financially and mentally stable to care for the child.
All the best sis😘😘😘
Pls don't abort the baby,if he doesn't want the baby. fornication is a sin but God put that baby in your womb for a reason,don't let anyone take that joy of motherhood from you.🌹❤️🥰🍾
ReplyDeleteCongratulations..no matter what, do not remove the pregnancy
ReplyDeleteAbeg carry your Baby make you born am ooo
ReplyDeleteCongratulations nah God bless you with this baby..
Still tell him you are pregnant for him if he insists that he does not want to take Responsibility
Na Wahala born your baby
God Almighty will provide...
Hello iya Boys
When a man explicitly says he doesn't want children please ladies listen!!! Men if you truly do not want children get a vasectomy. Ladies if you don't want pregnancy, close your legs. Celibacy is not a crime. I've been celibate for over several years as a christian. I've never had to worry about my vaginal ph or STis or pregnancy.
ReplyDeletePoster, did you ask him why he doesn’t want children? Could he have some potential birth defects in his genes that he doesn’t want passed on to an innocent child? Women! We really need to be strategic thinkers, if you wanted a baby really badly, you could have gone for assisted reproduction. Since you are in your 40s, the chance for birth defects like autism and Down’s syndrome is higher than for women under 35. Can you afford to screen for birth defects while pregnant? Could you possibly cater for a child with special needs? Do you know fathers have a stabilizing effect on a child’s upbringing? May God protect that innocent baby.
ReplyDeleteHow come it's now that you need help on how to talk to him? How have you been talking to him before? You both are adults in your 40s and communicating to the person you said you live should not be an issue no matter what
ReplyDelete