CONFUSED
Hello SDK and BVS, I am writing this with a mix of concern and confusion. My husband, a federal government employee, stopped going to work three years ago. At first, he claimed he was on annual leave, but as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, I sensed something was wrong
He has been evasive and secretive about his situation. I have grown accustomed to the days when he would leave for work, even though he spends a significant portion of his income on other women. His staying at home has affected our already strained relationship as we quarrel every second and it is also affecting our children. I was working before we got married but he asked me to stop so I am a full house wife.
I can't help but wonder how a young man like him, far from retirement age, can suddenly stop going to work. I hear him talk about salary during month end
The uncertainty is unsettling. I long for the peace that came with his daily departures, but now, the silence is deafening. What could have happened?.
He has been evasive and secretive about his situation. I have grown accustomed to the days when he would leave for work, even though he spends a significant portion of his income on other women. His staying at home has affected our already strained relationship as we quarrel every second and it is also affecting our children. I was working before we got married but he asked me to stop so I am a full house wife.
I can't help but wonder how a young man like him, far from retirement age, can suddenly stop going to work. I hear him talk about salary during month end
The uncertainty is unsettling. I long for the peace that came with his daily departures, but now, the silence is deafening. What could have happened?.
LOL...If you wanna find out what happened..Buy some fruits and pretend like you wanna visit him in the office....IF the people at the gate dont tell you the full story, move closer inside and be very friendly.....you will hear what happened...You really need to know!
As for your man being quarellsome, it takes two to tango!
Poster why are you not working? Do you have a source of income because if you were, it would have been a disaster from your husband's philandering way..
ReplyDeleteAnd you said he stopped for months? Is he still providing for the home or he is giving you stories because I need clarity...
Your chronicle has me asking so many questions..You just want him going out daily, why are you both not trying to resolve your issues...
If you are not working, please get something doing..I am indifferent about finding out if he is still working or not.
All the best
** been a distraction
DeleteDid you read or just in a hurry to type?
DeleteStopped working ' 3 YEARS AGO'.
You see all this my husband stoped me or doesn’t want me to work is just an excuse to laziness.
DeleteMadam this your sit at home won’t help you or him
ReplyDeleteLook for something to do
Whatever you will go to find out will strain whatever is left.
Be worried about your financial status
You should talk to your man. Do as Stella has suggested.
ReplyDeleteFederal govt job is very secure and I don't think he was sacked except if it stealing that is if he really was a staff there ,just do what sdk suggested you will get the full gist but very rear he was sacked :
ReplyDeleteRare not rear
DeleteFederal govt job is very secure and I don't think he was sacked except if it stealing that is if he really was a staff there ,just do what sdk suggested you will get the full gist but very rear he was sacked :
ReplyDeleteStella this your advice na daa chi !!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteSince he still collects salary, it means he wasn't sacked.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he got tired of going to the office everyday and decided to be chilling at home as a ghost worker, while still receiving salary.
"The uncertainty is unsettling. I long for the peace that came with his daily departures, but now, the silence is deafening."
ReplyDeleteSee life?
You really just want your husband out of the home at work hours to minimize your both quarrels.
But you do not care how he has gotten money to pay rent and provide for his household without working at home or going out to work in three years. Or do not appear to so care from the tenor of your chronicle.
The first issue is where the money you are fending with as a full time house wife is coming from.
The other real issue is what is he doing with his time. Some of us wish we could go back in time to use our time (age 23 years upwards) better.
Maybe your husband is one of the redundant people being paid by govt for doing nothing. Just like the man that resigned yesterday because he doesn't want to continue receiving salary for doing nothing.
ReplyDeleteYou don try, I completely loathe men like this.
ReplyDeleteI think it's time you both sit down and have a decent conversation about what exactly happened. You maybe surprised, he will be soft. I personally think he has bottled up so much, for whatever reason it maybe, it's not easy losing a job.
Poster,you're judging him for not working? Please look for something to do. I won't say business,like teaching job,secretary job. Also find time to befriend your husband. The quarrelling will scar your children. Be humble and prayerful.
ReplyDeleteSince you're tired of seeing him at home, get a job so you too can be going out regularly
ReplyDeleteI've have not been going to work since COVID. I do my work from home so outsiders may think I am a full-time housewife. It's like you're not interested in your husband, you're only interest in history job. He might be doing his job from home.
ReplyDeleteAbeg which work are you doing at home cos I'm looking for what to do now
DeleteDear Poster
ReplyDeleteThere are obviously issues in the home, he cheats and also keeping things from you. Whatever be the case, he should be open enough to share his issues with you, that's why you both are married having someone to rub minds with so one does not do life alone.
You shouldn't have agreed to be a house wife, Nah, o wrong gan ni, every woman should be given the chance to have something doing no matter how small, you have your own purpose and dreams in life, marriage shouldn't prevent you from doing something.
Please, it's not too late to start learning a skill or dust your certificate and look for a job or start a business.
See, prepare him his Favourite meal, make it delicious, after he eats and he is satisfied, Ensure you guys make love, sweet one oh, the type that will make him forget his name. During the act, use style to ask him about his job and any other thing you want to know about him.
May the Lord add honey to your home
Nigeria is tough already and can be tougher if you have no one to support you.As it is now, you need to be on your feet and find something doing .
DeleteYou were created for a purpose, apart from being a wife and mum what else is your life centred around?
This life to be fulfilled ,you need to pursue your goal(s) marriage is an achievement, its beautiful but you need to be MORE as a person,
What are the things that you are passionate about? What is your purpose? It should be purpose before marriage, but since you are married already, nothing spoil,you can still find your purpose in marriage and get started. You can talk to God,ask yourself, talk to your husband about what you can be doing as a Woman Of Value,remember we all are here on earth for a reason /purpose ,e get why God create us .
Please Do not limit yourself because you are married or because he told you not to work,you cannot be just this because you are married, you can still do exploits.
Maybe he is mentally unstable. He met you with your work, then tells you to quit, he eventually quits even though he sleeps around. He is a man full of surprises, you better start realizing that you need to look out for your self and children first, because your husband is looking out for himself alone. Your horseband is neither a good family man nor a good leader. But like I said before, maybe he is mentally unstable which means that you have to be watchful and prepared for his surprises. Go back and get employed and if you earn 50, tell him you earn 10, if you earn 100 tell him you earn 20. You get me? Be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove. Stockpile and secure something that is known only to you! If it gets too much, take a walk and if the walk is not enough then take a run and don't look back.
ReplyDeleteHmmm
ReplyDeletePoster pls follow Stella's advice you will get the answers you seek.
ReplyDeleteHe hasn't been going to work yet he pays the bill! Talks about salary. Always at home yet you said he is philandering. He doesn't panel beat you despite the quarrels. You hate seeing him at home. Poster, sorry o but I think you're the problem.
ReplyDeleteOga And Madam is not working
ReplyDeleteHow una come dey feed kwanu
Mayben Oga dnt like going to the office shabi you said every month he talk about salary..
He still dey work nahhh
Hello iya Boys
All this get a job people it’s like you have another husband for her. Hubby said don’t work
ReplyDeleteSome Nigerian marriages can be so draining. I wonder why he cant tell you exactly what's going on. So devastating
ReplyDelete