WORRIED
I live in the West and I since found out that the culture here is very toxic. Sadly, the Nigerians here too do not help matters as they see their fellow Nigerians as competition.
I have made many friends and connections in the Nigerian community and regretted it, hence I now roll solo. I have also come to understand that the way to keep a job and get promoted in this society is to have a sponsor.
How do you get a sponsor when the natives don’t like blacks and your fellow blacks are more likely to compete with you than support you? How do people thrive in a toxic culture where drinking, clubbing, gossiping and bullying are things you must practice otherwise even your colleagues will not want you around?
If the place does not favour you then please change Countries nah:::About regretting the friends you made in the Naija community, you dont need to keep Naija friends na.........
If you are in Rome, please do what the Romans do to stay on top!
Poster first off Ehugs.....Migrating to another country with a different culture, different people can be overwhelming....And it is disappointing that the Nigerians you met could not offer you that community spirit to cushion your transition phase.....Take deep breath and relax......
ReplyDeleteDon't solely focus on the negative sides; instead have a foresight on how the odds can play in your favour; have an open mind, observe, explore and understand your environment and maybe you might consider moving to other towns of the country or emigrate.......
Focus on doing your job or skill you are engaged in and just serenade yourself with positivity & happiness....It is not easy but it is possible....
All the best & rooting for you....
Dear Stella, thank you for posting. I don’t want to join in evil just to be at “the top” for what will it profit me if I gain the world by being at the top for a maximum of 30 years meanwhile I lose my soul to hell fire? I am a believer and my relationship with God is more important to me than acceptance in the West.
DeleteLife outside the shores of Nigeria is totally different and difficult. When you come out, you will notice that most work cultures are based on wickedness, cruelty, toxicity, dishonesty and ruthlessness (racism, harassment and bullying). Nursing and midwifery UK 2024)
DeleteEspecially health sector. (FACT).
If you must live there, there is no in between. You will either be hot or cold (as in biblical terms). There is no sitting on the fence.
Kindness is seen as a weakness! I repeat Kindness is seen as a weakness.
This is when you as a child of God will be tested in all ramifications. You will need God more than ever, especially in the UK.
The antidote for success abroad:
Always prayerful,
Always vigilant.
Improve yourself and relevant skills,
Work very very hard (emphasis on very), because that will help you when the fights come.
Avoid ima kwa ndi anyi wu kind of people.
Have a good support system. You need your own people because oyibos ‘no send you’ (they don’t want you in their country anyway).
I wish you good luck. (You will need a lot of it).
That's how they are o. Especially the uk. Just be prayerful. God will lead you to the right source. Pray for favour and be nice to the oyinbos. The oyinbos are even better than the blacks.
ReplyDeleteThis same UK? I'm still new sha, 3years. I feel it depends on the individual and the friends you want to keep. I'm a paediatrician here and trust me, na dem dey rush me. But I was told to avoid Nigerians.
DeleteExactly, make friends with onyibo or people from other countries.
DeleteI have lived in the UK for more than 20 yrs...again the people you associate with whether black or white matters. Talking about sponsorship: Is nt your work place suppose to sponsor you?
DeleteI actually avoid Nigerians, but have and mingle with the very few I can trust.As a migrant learn to adapt to the country you migrate to, this goes a long way in influencing your success in that country...it amazes me how people expect to be blessed in a country when they hate the indigenes and speak evil of them.One universal principle is not to 'curse' the land you eat from.
Anon 15:17, oyibos are NEVER YOUR FRIEND. It seems like you are new abroad or don’t work/school with them. They will never genuinely like a black person and will only socialize with you if you have a lot of money or they see you as good for sex.
DeleteNa wa must be really hard for you because Ehn from this write up i cannot begin to imagine what you are going through . You must not have Nigerian friends and you must not practice the ills of the society .
ReplyDeleteJust like Stella said have you considered relocating ? Why not try other options .
Ohhhhhhh
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you oooo
Hello iya Boys
Poster,it's not only in the west. Humanity is almost extinct. Find balance and try as much as possible,not to appear as goody two shoes.😒🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteYou didn't see much good in the Nigerians you met there and even the locals , you've ruled out they don't like your kind. Yet every other day we have interracial marriage and collaborations.
ReplyDeleteJust know you will always attract your kind. You will meet people who judge and stereotype you. What is so wrong with competition among a people? They are there to excel yet if you look closer, you will find some who are best friends, who found their spouses in this same place you ruled out to be toxic. Just step into a dark place holding up your brilliant light and the darkness with disappear.
You need more positivity in your life so you can attract positive people.
Poster, I forgot to remind you that promotion comes from God. Whatever you are doing, make sure you do extra with joy and optimism,I assure you your time will come. Your promotion may not even be within that organisation. If you know how the Law of attraction works. But the more you complain, you sabotage yourself.
DeleteI wanted to say this. Someone up there even mentioned uk.!. This same uk that I know many people with wholesome relationships and friends. Myself included. Please oo.
DeleteUpgrade your self, so that you can find friends who are on an upgraded level.
It is well with you. Please don't limit your friendship to only Nigerians, there may be other nationals with good character that you can vibe with , just be careful in choosing your friends. I don't have friends and I'm very okay with that but that doesn't mean I don't mind having good friends
ReplyDeletePoster this is no western thing . Your complaint is just about humanity now. when I see the competition even in Nigeria now I take a step backward to allow those trying to get to heaven first pass. Sometimes I wonder with all the toxicity
ReplyDeleteMe that's looking for where to japa to, my dear change country. The country you are complaining of, may be my dream country to japa to. Atleast the place better pass Naija, manage'am and be prayerful.
ReplyDeleteMao Akuh
Poster, I can imagine your plight. I came into UK briefly. Mennnn the blacks , even fellow Nigerians are terrible. Very horrible and sneaky People. You can't go to them for help. You can't get any truth from them. The whites are even better.
ReplyDeletePlease try find yourself one or two friends
I can imagine. UK is so boring a place. I wish you the best as you try to find your feet
If you're saying every Nigerian you've met are bad, please look into yourself, it's easy to blame others. No offence
ReplyDeleteI hope you find the right people to mingle with. Also, don't limit your options and try out new things not necessarily the negative ones you've mentioned. Sometimes, adjusting to a new space takes time. Be prayerful too.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you really can't cope, i think it time to move.
I want to think I understand you but to make this Oyibo’s like you, you need to appear extroverted. Program yourself in the morning to smile and say hi. You can not be an introvert and want to make friends or expect people to like you. Give compliments whether it is true or not. That is a conversation breaker “oh I love your dress or shoes” “you are glowing this morning”. Compliments make people like you. See u don’t have to do a lot but attend after work parties and drink water and smile. You are in the world but you can make it work
ReplyDeleteNa wa o, Oyibos are so unaccomodating, why should a person change their personality to be accepted? We don’t expect them to act like us in order to treat them well. Extreme narcissism is their problem.
DeleteYou have to understand yourself properly, by knowing what's important to you in life, being able to stand firm in your decisions and be focus in life, and not to allow anyone to influence your behaviour by their culture or lifestyle that does not arline with your goals and visions, so that you can be successful in your life.
ReplyDelete