OLDER SUITOR
There is this colleague of mine, a young lady of 23 years. She is in her third year as a part timer in the University ( she is a teacher) .
Her dad died 10 years ago and she is living with her dad's younger sister who also sponsors her education. There is this man coming for her hand in marriage, an Anambra man.
He is 38 years old which is making her afraid because the age gap is much. She wants me to advice her but I really don't know what to tell her.
How do i advice her?
Wait.....Coming for her means they have not briefly dated and she knows nothing about him? Not even his genotype? It is not what she knows (His age) that she should be scared of, she should be scared of what she does not know.....The age should be the least of her worries,let her check genotype and then study him for a while....I hear some Anambra men are very difficult
So if you advise her to marry him, without dating, will she go ahead?? Let her get to know him first o. 38 years old doesn't mean one has sense. She should go on dates, know whether he has skoin skoin or not, know what ticks him off.
ReplyDeleteShe needs to date him to know him. But I'd she's already turned off by his appearance and age, then no need to date.
ReplyDeleteBefore you consider someone for marriage, you must have known them to a reasonable extent, and come to d conclusion you can live with that person.
So dating is an essential criteria.
She needs to date him to know him. But I'd she's already turned off by his appearance and age, then no need to date.
ReplyDeleteBefore you consider someone for marriage, you must have known them to a reasonable extent, and come to d conclusion you can live with that person.
So dating is an essential criteria.
I don’t understand. Someone will just come and ask for a lady’s hand in marriage, just like that? Cos it doesn’t look like they’ve been dating . Do they still do that nonsense in this age and time?
ReplyDeleteThey do o
DeleteYes they do especially in the village.
DeleteMy brothers from the east do it alot.
DeleteYup. It’s still done
DeleteIf everything else is in order, including finances, friendship, and love, then age is the least to be concerned about. Moreover, the age gap is only 15 years.
ReplyDeleteI’m not a fan of huge age gap. In a lot of instances, men like that are not actually looking for a partner to love and build with more like one they can control and lord over.
ReplyDeleteIt may not be the same in this case but this is my belief about this kind of situations
Poster,please let her make her choice. Do you know if she likes older men? 🤔🤔🤔
ReplyDeleteIf he is an Anambra man living in Anamabra state
ReplyDeleteDating is not on his list
He wants to marry straight
She can go around his house,village,business place and make enquiries
There are good Anambra men who don’t want their wife to suffer
If he is
Congratulations
Welcome to enjoyment
Is your friend Anambra
As she’s an orphan God give her a good home
Poster the age difference is too much....Most men that do this want a woman they can control and manipulate....Hence na marriage straight...No room to date and know each other....
ReplyDeleteI think the first place to start is What does she want for herself? What are her dreams and aspiration? Is she ready to get married now? Does she have money, resources to sustain herself in the marriage? For me she is still young and has a lot of years ahead of her....She has to think this through....She might be seeing this guy as a father figure in her life and these are 2 different things when it comes to marriage.....If she is not convinced enough, please let her complete her education, work to earn her own money or learn a trade and become a woman of her own....
All the best....
I hope they listen.
DeleteThis kind marriage still they happen for this kind time
ReplyDeleteAbeg she should get to know him first
And see how it goes..
Wish her well
And
Good luck ooo..
Hello iya
Dear Poster, if you like him, then you both can start getting to know each other first, go on dates, communicate and gist, please remove xes from it oh.
ReplyDeleteWe wish you luck
38 and 23yrs ? He just wants to control her ! Such a wide age gap! He’s 2yrs shy of 40yrs ! At least he could have gone for someone closer to 27yrs or so but 23yrs ? He doesn’t have good intentions for her .
ReplyDeleteNot like she’s going to listen to us sha,she will go ahead and marry him and see whatever
20s is a good decade to talk marriage. She is 23, the major reason he wants her is because she is that young and naive and he believes she will be easier to "handle". Girls should spend their 20s single, childfree and equipping themselves mentally, financially and having fun. He wanting her isn't for anything to her advantage; it's all about him. The possibility of her regretting marrying him in her late 30s and 40s is very very high.
ReplyDeleteThey are "catch-them-young" type of opportunistic men.
I’m more concerned that she is even considering someone that she knows nothing about. She herself does not like the age gap so why even consider it. Perhaps the man is already established why she is even asking for your input, what of her own sister’s input? Best she focus on her studies and complete them and graduate with the best class that she can get since she is a sponsored student. When someone else is sponsoring your education there is no time for distractions. If he is so interested he can wait until she is finished with her studies and has her credential. Tell her to remain focused!
ReplyDeleteShe better say no ,the age is too much and from that part, na slave the man is looking for not wife
ReplyDeleteConsidering her situation, her aunty will have a great control over things.:.:
ReplyDeleteAs a 23 years old, she needs to know the basics as advised by Stella before making her decision.