STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MEETING THE SAME KIND OF MEN
Why is it that all the guys I've met in their early fifths and single all have horrible temper.?
My ex gets easily irritated and is hot tempered. I just met another one and just within a few days I had to run for my life cuz of his hot temper.
This guy practically complained about everything from where I stay to what I wear,to my hair style.
He met me on low cut and just one day of agreeing to go out on a date the next day he said i have to start fixing my hair and wear bigger tops to cover my big butt.
I had to ask him if he thought we could have a long term relationship since all he does is complain about me and he just went off on me accusing me of trying to force him to marry me when I haven't even visited him yet or met his parents or done all the things he asked me to do....
I ended up with a bad headache with all the shouting I had to shout him down, cut the call and cut him off.
I can't allow anyone push me into having high blood pressure cuz I want to get married....
I had to ask him if he thought we could have a long term relationship since all he does is complain about me and he just went off on me accusing me of trying to force him to marry me when I haven't even visited him yet or met his parents or done all the things he asked me to do....
I ended up with a bad headache with all the shouting I had to shout him down, cut the call and cut him off.
I can't allow anyone push me into having high blood pressure cuz I want to get married....
You need to also check yourself cos you are attracting the same kinda men....I know a lady who only divorced broken men who kept using her and dumping her to marry someone else...
Check that the next man you meet will not have same qualities, if he does then you are the problem- you keep looking for someone to scratch the 'wound' to bleed again.
People who are easily angered are angry with something within themselves or the outcome of their life. This has nothing to do with you.
ReplyDeleteTell yourself a new story, something like, the most amazing man who is a perfect fit for me is entering my life very soon.
Follow Stella's advice.
DeleteGentle Poster Stella nailed it!! Have some self reflections, self-awareness and practice a lot of mindfulness....
ReplyDeleteHave you stopped to ask yourself why you attract the same kind of men? And with all what you have highlighted, what are your plans? What actions do you want to take to avoid meeting these kinds of men?
Look within and point out those qualities you exude that attracts such men....You can't control how people would react to you, however you can control how to respond to their actions.....When the man complained about your low cut and how he would you to wear you hair long; your response should have been short and sweet ''Thank you but I prefer to keep my hair cut because that is what I want''....Referencing about long term relationship and all was not necessary in that conversation because you were just getting to know him....
You can say things in shorter and direct sentences than saying longer words, that way you come off as a more assertive and confident lady....
All the best.....
I thought hot tempered people calm down as they grow older.
ReplyDeleteHas he called since this happened or you blocked him?
I think he doesn't want a serious relationship. He's only looking for a woman to have "fun" with anytime he wants.
"Why is it that ALL the guys I've met in their early fifths and single all have horrible temper.?
ReplyDeleteMy ex gets easily irritated and is hot tempered. I just met another one"
How many are "ALL" the men?
You mention two the last and this in your chronicle.
IF truly ALL the men you have met....
You are looking for something they all have, they know you are looking for, and they know or believe you are not qualified to get from them. So, they will all treat you cheap.
ALL men you have met; same behaviour?
Hmmmmnnn.
Well said
Delete''I had to shout him down, cut the call and cut him off.''
ReplyDeleteThis right here is it a good character to you? Be sincere to yourself. I understand one shouldn't be desperate towards marriage but when multiple persons have a constant complain on you, don't you think you need a solitary moment to reevaluate yourself and see where you're getting things wrong.
You see my first paragraph where I quoted you, I would also run away from a woman who does same to me. Shouting a man down is a bad sign of a marriage that is bound to fail. No man wants such a woman that challenges him.
Please check within yourself where you're getting it all wrong.
In the end, we accept the love we think we deserve.
© TEEJAY
Hmmm
DeleteYou are right
Why didn't she sit there and accept the abuse and control so it can escalate in marriage?
She is foolish, abi?
Perfect answer Stella keep it up
ReplyDeleteLike Stella said. The change should start with you. You need to be introspective and find out why you're attracting the same kind of men. You obviously don't like their character, so find out what you're doing wrong and make necessary changes.
ReplyDeleteWow SDK your last words are food for thought. Poster please change your circle and orientation. I don't like quick tempered people,I avoid them alot.
ReplyDeletePoster, take your time, don't marry a hot tempered man out of desperation. But come to think of it, the guy only advised you to wear a long top next ime because of your big butt, well that isn't a bad advice. 🤪.
ReplyDeleteI will tell u for free that there’s a reason why they are in their fifties and still unmarried despite the fact that they are not the gender that actually have to wait to be proposed to but are actually the ones to do the proposing.
ReplyDeleteI can only hope you eventually get to meet the right one because even though there are a lot of them that are single because of their bad character, I’m sure there are some that are different.
I have a friend that was dating someone like this. It was always one issue or the other. Today, u have to start making ur hair (he met her on low cut), tomorrow, it’s you have to stop wearing trousers. He even lamented on why he’s never seen her tying wrapper. It’s always one issue or the other and they will never stop.
It’s good you have blocked him because if u go back to him, premium headache will be ur portion, day in, day out!
This!!
DeleteWhich responsible man will be single in his 50s,?
God bless you Eka. A single man in his fifties is a huge red flag.
DeleteStela, if the men didn't have anger issues in them, they wouldn't bring it out. Yes poster needs to work on herself but she shouldn't be blamed for a grown man's behaviour.
ReplyDeletePoster, I think you need to sit with yourself to ask some deep questions why you are attracting such men.
Lol, I agree with Stella. Why do you keep meeting same kinda men? Nne, check yourself. Don't worry, the real one will find you soon.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's because you entertain them. Even though I admit your response to the second man was pretty forward, still, if he wasn't in the least temperamental, he sure would have responded differently instead of going off on you like that.
ReplyDeleteThat aside, your response reveals you don't take yourself seriously. To think after all the dos and don'ts he laid out for you, you even still had the courage to be worried about building the future with someone like that when you were supposed to be taken aback while trying to decipher if you heard him properly. I surmise that was the reason he could respond to you that way. I feel the very first time they complained, you never respectfully asserted yourself, so it morphed into a habit for them.
You also said they are in their 50s, right? I am wondering if it’s an age thing and for some strange reason, they have a low opinion of you because of the huge age gap.
It's not about what you attract; rather, it's about what you entertain. I think you may have poor boundaries, and it also does not help that you are prone to being forward in your responses or actions, so work on that and always remove yourself from the situation at the slightest sniff of disrespect; else, it escalates.
You nailed your last paragraph 👍👍
DeleteYou nailed it Gabi👍
Deletechange your circle, change your dressing, change your mind cos you keep attracting hot tempered people.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteStella nailed it
ReplyDeletePls check yourself and make amends
From all the comments read, every one Is saying..'check your self, check your self'....I am not the poster but I want to really learn.....how can one 'check herself' to prevent a future re-occurence of attracting the same kind of partners....What evaluations can the poster in this case do on her self to make amends.
ReplyDeleteWell, it's about doing self-reflection which takes time and a willingness to dig deep into herself. It may require sitting in the discomfort of realizing some glaring flaws and repeated patterns. It may be the discovery of childhood incidences in perhaps how she was raised and ideologies that were transmitted, it may be realizing that there are generational issues that keep repeating themselves in each new generation, and the realization that she will have to end those cycles/traumas/tendencies. When she has done a full and complete self-reflection, which is not necessarily a one day thing, it could take weeks even months or years of continuous self-assessment, she will know what to stop doing, what to modify and how to develop good mental health and self-worth along all lines.
DeleteShe could also ask those close to her their honest opinion of how they view her, sometimes how we see ourselves is in vast contrast to how we are viewed by others - this is only for the brave because things may come out that are painful and could harm a relationship. Nobody should ask if they cannot handle what is returned with maturity. However, good self-reflection does work.
This experience you had, I know some people that are complaining about the same thing. Single men in their 50's sound so frustrated
ReplyDeleteDyck problems, body pain problems, memory problems, women not rushing them like before, balding and graying, kids don't worship them no more; yup, they got a whole lot to be miserable about.
DeleteMost Women will never admit, they are wrong.
ReplyDeleteIn Oba Solomon voice. Obirin
ReplyDeleteAll all men in their fifties are red flags. Some concentrated in achieving a lot that's their reasons & I have a friend like that.
ReplyDeleteThen I have another that is in his early fifties and he will be doing sex acts on chats with his female friends ,he's a big red flag and he's very handsome & light skinned
Do a self-check poster, bearing in mind that change starts with you. There could be something you're not doing right
ReplyDeleteEverything is not red flag. Just choose what type of relationship you want from the person and move on. No need pinning for unserious people.
ReplyDelete