Hmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED
Two of my niece (8 and 10) came over for holidays and will be leaving this Sunday. Their mum is my only sister and she is everything a sister is and more. Because of this girls, I took some days off work to enable me have more time with them during their stay and also make them comfortable.
I left to get something at the market but forgot that day was sanitation for the market. The market open by 11am as against the normal 7am. I decided to go home and return to the Market later....
As I approached my door, I heard someone moaning. Initially I was confused where the sound came from so I gently opened the door met the 8 years sitting and smiling at the parlor, immediately she saw me, she jerked up,. Her action got me curious. I quickly opened the bathroom where they sound came from lo and behold this my 10 years niece was using carrot on herself. She was so lost in her emotions that even when I opened the door. It took her seconds to get herself back.
Two of my niece (8 and 10) came over for holidays and will be leaving this Sunday. Their mum is my only sister and she is everything a sister is and more. Because of this girls, I took some days off work to enable me have more time with them during their stay and also make them comfortable.
I left to get something at the market but forgot that day was sanitation for the market. The market open by 11am as against the normal 7am. I decided to go home and return to the Market later....
As I approached my door, I heard someone moaning. Initially I was confused where the sound came from so I gently opened the door met the 8 years sitting and smiling at the parlor, immediately she saw me, she jerked up,. Her action got me curious. I quickly opened the bathroom where they sound came from lo and behold this my 10 years niece was using carrot on herself. She was so lost in her emotions that even when I opened the door. It took her seconds to get herself back.
Out of anger, I dragged her out of the bathroom and forced her to clean up and wear her clothes which she did. I sat her down for a discussion, she was crying and shivering and I could not stand her tears. I left her for sometime and allowed her. At midnight I woke the 8 years up and asked her what she knows about s#x. She said it's only the 10 years and their neighbors daughter that use to play with carrot.
They warned her not to join them because she is small and most days they do it in her presence. I have been in so much pain but trying to hide my emotions from them. I have been staying calm but each time I look at her, I shiver and she has been restless around me. I have invited my sister, she will be around on Sunday. My people what can we do. I am torn.
Tell your sister about it. Don't hide it from her. At this point she need more enlightenment about sex and the consequences of unwanted pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteShe has been taught by her peers and I'm afraid she'll not stop doing that. She can only be guided at this point not to bring shame and ridicule to the family.
© TEEJAY
Hello Teejay. I've dropped you a message on previous posts but I guess you haven't seen it. Can I please have your email? A friend has the same condition you had and needs surgery. I'd like to ask you a few questions if you're open to it. Thank you.
DeleteSorry, I didn't see the comment. I've been busy lately and hardly revisit a post I had dropped a comment earlier until when I'm done or late at night.
DeleteMy mail is enabled on my handle. I'll be glad to help in your inquiry.
© TEEJAY
So, family dignity is the most crucial point in this issue?
DeleteMs. Saphire,
DeleteYou should understand what I meant by that. When a daughter turns this bad, it's always the mother at the receiving end. Haven't you heard things like, ''Who raised this child?'' Or ''How where you raised?'' ''Like mother like daughter''
All these rubs negativity and bag image on the family especially when the parents are doing their best to raise godly children. You should know a child who have chosen to be bad and headed towards destruction won't adhere to wise counsel.
© TEEJAY
I get you @TJ. Family dignity is important very secondary. That child's welfare, what should be done to protect and correct her and how to ensure she doesn't become a danger to herself and other children around her is far more important.
DeleteHave you encountered an abused abuser b4?.
Mother’s will be eagerly subscribing to and watching BBNiaija then they are horrified when their children are sexual at a young age.😏 Drinking tea and minding my business.
DeleteHonestly,May God help parents.
ReplyDeleteyou all need to calm down,ask her questions and afterwards she need to see a therapist.
Henceforth,her mum should find a way to be her best friend,discuss age appropriate sex education with her,so she can open up on anything bothering her.
All the best!!
Tell your sister. She should be gentle with her daughter, and ask where she learnt such. Find out who is responsible for teaching her that.
ReplyDeleteThis is sad. She has tasted d forbidden fruit and can't stop. At this point, it's only prayers, close observation, and teaching of God's word that can help her gradually stop it
ReplyDeleteKnowing the origin and removing it will help too
ReplyDeleteThe children around now are mostly like that o,Only the ones caught.but most are doing it
ReplyDeleteThere are no more child(ren) these days. God please help parents
DeleteYou say 10?
DeleteI am tired of this new world I found myself in
Is it the emergence of social media or what?
What could have taught this kids about this?
Hei! I am scared o
Don’t be too alarmed. Thats why it’s good to have this discussions with kids as early as possible. Let them know there’s time for it but that time isn’t now if not they’ll do it in secret. Also show your kids that they can talk to you about anything, be close to them, have conversations with them and ask questions. The world is moving very fast these days and kids are moving even faster. Talk to your niece and ask ur sister not to beat her o. Have continuous conversations with both of them about sex.
ReplyDeleteI would have said remove her from d compound, but it wont eliminate it. The Dan.ger right now is, she's now a threat to children in school, church, née neighbourhood., etc. If you had kids, she would have influenced them already.
ReplyDeleteSo you didn't say or do anything to her? Not even punishment like kneeling down?
ReplyDeleteHmmm, is 🥕 that smooth for a 10yo girl's V? Didn't she get hurt?
This is very disturbing.
Parents should stop giving their children smart phones. Majority of them watch adult films on their phones.
If you are one of the parents that give your children smart phones loaded with data, then, you should be blamed.
The punishment won't make her stop. She needs to handle it with utmost care and responsibility if the goal is to help the girl.
DeleteKneeling down and any other sort of "punishment" is not what she needs,it will further scare the young girl from her(aunt) or even her own mum;and she would continue in private till God knows when.
DeleteSex education is what she needs;an active counselling is also needed where she can talk about her challenges freely and without being "punished" but rather guided.
She has already started so now there is nothing to be hidden when counseling her,teach her about the implications of early sex,why she needs to avoid wrong cliques;why she needs to stop masturbating,why she needs to keep her mind busy with her education,and so many other things.
Emphasize about the implications of sex addiction at her age and why she needs to stop,google videos of others talking about what early sex did to them psychologically and physically,then watch with her..
What she needs now is thorough guidance and counseling from you,her mum,and a professional if possible..and not flogging,kneeling down and the likes.
Everything will be fine with time and the right actions.
@MARTINS
Punishment k'e? Nah
DeleteOkay o, if you people say so.
DeleteI still think that the silly girl should have been beaten and punished when she was caught.
counselling and others are follow up.
There's a way you will punish a child and she won't dare try such again unless she's an addict.
How can a girl of 10yo be inserting 🥕 in your V? Is she okay?
If she thinks she's smart, I will let her know she's not but foolish.
I was confused and did not know what to do moreso she was crying so hard that I could not stand her tears.
DeletePls don’t beat her o. Explain the dangers to her, dangers of getting diseases, being pregnant early and ruining her chances of getting properly educated at the right time.
DeleteIt will not be well with all those out there molesting young girls & boys. A lot of children have been molested. If not at home, then schools or their neighbourhood.
ReplyDeleteSame sex is on the rise. That's the first form of sexual experience most children ve had and know and they're passing it on. Parents protect you children. The best form of love you can show them is by making them your best friend so they can confide in you and not outsiders.
Dear Póster, your nieces and your sister should invite the neighbour that introduced them to it. Let them spill all they know... They're so young and need re orientation on how sex works that's if the neighbour is a child too but if its an adult, then you handle it the adult way by arresting the person.
God help us all.
According to her the neighbor is a child too. 10+ old.
DeleteWow! My Goodness. This was the Holy Spirit that moved you back there. Please ask her questions especially the nanny that has been taking care of them or the neighbors nanny.
ReplyDeleteChai! I am scared and worried now.
ReplyDeleteThis parenting task hennn! Lord have mercy abeg.
I just can't imaging how devastating this will be for their mum.
Same here o.
DeleteI hate reading things like this ( anything bad about children sha), it breaks my heart
*imagine
DeleteThese are the results of poor parenting, being unavailable, failing to teach them certain life lessons, and failing to keep an eye on your kids' friends and activities including phones.
ReplyDeletePlease tell your sister everything so that the youngster can receive counseling and rehabilitation and be spared from further harm.
This is pure biology
DeleteYou don’t even have to watch or see anything to gradually learn that your body feels a certain way if you do certain things
God bless you, Anon 16:40
DeletePoster please tell your sister and be diplomatic about handling the issue. Don't beat her please because it won't solve the problem. Talk and pray for her and consell her.
ReplyDeleteAwww Poster Ehugs....I can imagine and understand your emotions right now but I am glad about the events that happened and the works of the devil has been exposed....Thank God the 10 year old had some remorse even though I am mad that she was introduced to this unclean habit at a young age most definitely by an irresponsible adult.....Here is what I will advice you....
ReplyDelete1. Your emotions are valid however please don't treat your nieces any different and try as much as possible to separate the act from them....It is the unclean habit you want to stop: don't be hostile to them or let your countenance change towards them......
2. Please I want you to be cheerful and don't carry your emotions on your face, still be that doting Aunty you have always been.
3. When their mother arrives on Sunday, tell her about the incidents that happened as calmly as you can, please no shouting, yelling or beating, no apportioning of blames of the 10 year & 8 year old girls....Please no drama so there are no complications to this matter....Draw the 2 girls closer with their mother and let them speak to you both about how it all happened, who introduced it to them and the next actions to take...
4. Both of you should assure them both that you love them dearly but the act done is very wrong and you all will work on how to stop it and also dissociate from those who started this act...Please no stigmatization, no comparison so they don't lose their self esteem and self-confidence.
5. Confront whosoever it is that introduced them to this bad habit and then your sister & her husband should be more observant about the places, the neighbours they visit, the books, the contents on TV they are being exposed too...
6. Both girls might have to see a professional counsellor while backing it up with prayers and regular accountability.....Please give them the little support that you can.....
Don't worry the Devil lost it big time!!! And they will be grateful that you were there for them....
All the best and do well to update us on the outcome...God bless you (Amen)
When you notice that touching your genital or inserting something in it gives you pleasure, you are on your way to sex addiction or masturbation addiction. Make sure your niece is never left alone. Someone should always stay close to her. Don't make her feel guilty. Try to make her understand that she can confide in you. Counsel her and pray for her.
ReplyDeleteI started masturbating 19 years ago. The bad luck and stagnation I experienced is not something I'd wish on my enemy .
I made several attempts to stop but I couldn't. The longest I went without masturbating was 2 and a half months.
I haven't masturbated since July this year and this time around, I will not go back to my vomit. Those tap mining games on Telegram are, surprisingly, what's helping me to stop the habit. Anytime I feel like masturbating, I start mining on Telegram.
🤣🤣🤣
DeleteYou’re a grown woman and it’s your own body
Before you know
DeleteYou shall over come it.
No gain.
Don't give up
To the glory of God its been 3years since I stop the nonsense.
Anon, 16:41 Amen🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
DeleteAnd I am so happy for you that you stopped it since three years ago.
If you want to stop, play gospel music around you all the time. Don Moen, Ron Kenoly or anyone you like. Learn the lyrics, sing along. Invite God into your atmosphere and he will grant you grace to overcome 🙏🏾
DeleteWhen my sister cousin was about 7, she came visiting and laid on my bed beside me but a little lower. She came closer and Suddenly started breathing heavy and slowly was coming up to where my boobs and face were as if she wanted to kiss me. Immediately I tapped her and she smiled and shifted. It dawned on me that she has been introduced to it. That evening they left. She's a young teenager now and whenever I see her photos i remember that act and hoped she didn't explore more.
ReplyDeleteI never had the opportunity to meet her again.
Back in the day, I once caught my neighbors kids making out. I was a teenager at the time and the kids in question were 3 to 4 years old.
ReplyDeleteThe boy was giving the girl a head. Not that he was doing it like a pro. He was just licking it like ice cream. She closed her eyes and she was making noises( obviously she was enjoying it). This incident happened at the barracks. They hid close to our shared toilet. If she hadn't closed her eyes, she'd have seen me. I had wanted to scream and beat them, but I knew hell would freeze first before anyone would believe that I caught 3/4 year kids making out. I tiptoed and called two of my elder sisters., and they saw it themselves. After watching them for some seconds, we screamed at them. They looked so guilty and embarrassed.
Sadly, we didn't even tell their parents. We just felt no one would believe. The kids were too tiny, so people wouldn't have believed that we caught them doing what they were doing.
Heyii!!! What am I reading this afternoon?!
DeleteYou did well by not telling their parents because they will not have believed you and you will become an automatic enemy.
DeleteTrue, Zaram. If my sisters and I didn't see it happen, we would never have believed that toddlers could do a thing like that. We knew nobody would believe us.
DeleteThey hadn't even been enrolled in school at the time. They were really really tiny. As in tiny with a capital T.
This is deep. As a public health expert in reproductive and health matters. I would advise the girl's mother to take the child for hymen and virginal test just to rule out any possibility of rape or penetration of any kind. STI’s test inclusive.
ReplyDelete2. After the test, she should have a one on one conversations with the child, that is if ascertained her hymen is indeed broken.
3. Get her to open up who the culprit is/was. When It happened, how it happened and how many times it has occurred.
4. If 2 and 3 is correct, get ready to file a case of rape using the evidence gotten from the hospital and the girls confession.
5. If 2 and 3 is ruled out. The mother of the kids should Put a parental control on their Television. If the house they occupy is a room self-contain, the parents of the kids may have to consider moving to an apartment with more space. Sex education should be introduced asap cause there’s no statutory age for this. A carrot would progress to cucumber next time and to a more advanced stuffs such as sext toys if not adequately checked. Overall, sex education should commence immediately. And by sex education, I mean teaching a child about her reproductive health, her sexuality, body parts and the difference between a man and woman, her actions and consequences of certain behaviours.
In all, everyone should calm down. It’s not too late to sail the ship against the wind and put it right back on track. Love and light.
@ are you seriously asking if there's been a penetration and if hymen was broken? Did you skip the part she mentioned CARROT? Or you thought she was chewing on the carrot and moaning in the bathroom?
DeleteA girl that has been inserting carrots into her privates, when any doctor examines her, would definitely see evidence of penetration. So now if she doesn’t open up, it wud b hard to prove if a boy/man penetrated her or it is bcos of the items she inserts.
DeleteMs Sapphire , don't come under my post to spew trash if you are not in this field of profession. Did you not see the part I mentioned rape ? If she inserted carrots then there's a possibility that an adult may have tried something on her . It can't be ruled out. The essence of the test is to check for any sperm deposit or foreign vaginal floral.
DeleteRather than take a seat back and learn or two, you are here sparking like transformer cable .
Well noted. I have forwarded this link to my sister.
DeleteI sparked? Read me again. There's absolutely no need to insult or call me names, Caren. I am merely pointing out that the poster said she's been using carrots on herself and of course that answers your question about penetration and the state of her hymen.
DeleteOh Jehovah
ReplyDeleteOh my God
ReplyDeleteOh God, pls, help parents to raise their children right. Poster, pls tell your sister about it.
ReplyDeleteGod have mercy. Talk to the children and tell thier mum about it. God help us to be alert enough to guard our children against this evil called immortality ravaging our society. The househelp should also be queried because this helps most of them are corrupt. As a child It was the help that started molesting me bfr I realised it was wrong as I grew in the knowledge of Christ. It's a crazy world that's why some mums say never leave your child where you are not at but then again how can we do this as we are not Ominipresent like our heavenly Father. God will help us Amen.
ReplyDeleteJoro to joro. All these stupid chronicles and stupid advice. Pathetic.
ReplyDeleteIt happens. I have cought kids of 3 to 5 years using somethings on themselves. It was a girl of same age bracket from another place who came to stay with them for some time that introduced it to them
DeleteHmm... it's a bad situation, but we have heard worse, far worse. I have read of some parenting kits/modules that are scientifically developed to prevent and also help young victims of sexual exposure. When Praise Fowowe was handling these topics over 10 years ago, I had always thought "when I have children I will get them". Now he has relocated to the US. Since last week I have been procrastinating on reaching out for those kits/modules since my children are growing and I take this chronicle as a cue to do the needful for prevention sake.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do, don't make too much fuss about it so you don't cause more damage on that little girl. You need a professional, tested and trusted approach to this. Don't send the girl to a therapist o!!!. Just buy the modules on-line and apply the teachings by yourself. You can google Praise Fowowe, get his website and ask for help.
This is why I do not believe in young children going into the homes of others and sleepovers and stuff like that. I have never heard of a child using a carrot on themselves, usually they will rub themselves on pillows and the arm of a sofa, which is a fairly normal occurrence in child developing, as children do use it as a form of soothing. However, the use of a phallic like apparatus means there is some further knowledge that has been received somewhere along the way and the loud moaning confirms that for me.
ReplyDeleteOnce sexuality has been turned on in a child it is near impossible to turn back off, the parent can push it into dormancy to allow for the development to happen as it should. Getting the child involved in sports and other activities that keeps them more occupied and burns off excess energy is the best approach, and also having a frank talk about appropriate and inappropriate conduct is helpful.
I hope one adult somewhere is not molesting her, no need to punish her, what she needs is monitoring, counsel, and prayer.
ReplyDeleteThis is my greatest fear for children, especially females, I pray God should guide them, and don't let us be put to shame on them, while we are also trying our best to guide them.
*runs outta post*
ReplyDelete🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️
Ahhhhhhhh
ReplyDeleteLord have mercy ooooo
Please Abeg inform the mother oooo
Infact the both of you should sit her down and talk sense into her ooo
Make the mama self Add prayer join very important ooo..
I believe with Prayer and good Advice she will change
In Jesus mighty name 🙏 🙏 🙏
Abeg make una no shout for her Ejooor ooo
Hello iya Boys
God have mercy and protect children out there 🙏
ReplyDeleteAbomination ehhh!!!!
ReplyDeletePlease why giving her sex education make sure you include the younger sister who also has knowledge of what her elder sister does. Educate both of them but do it individually. If you don't educate the younger one now, she might want to try it out when she gets to the 10years old that her sister told her about.
ReplyDeleteThis is sad
ReplyDeleteShe needs counseling
Poster calm down ok, i was like this almost same age as your niece years ago. What caused mine was because i was initiated or rather molested by my neighbor’s daughters, from there i joined them intact i almost started trying it with my sister.
ReplyDeleteWhat saved me was that God helped to remove me from the environment, in my new environment nobody to do it with and God helped me a molester didn’t find me
Although later in life i struggled with pornography becos does thoughts were deep in my head and found lesbian pornography
With God on my side that addiction is gone 2 years sober, i am married with kids too
Pls find the root cause, who taught her that act and remove her from that environment. Take her for deliverance cos these perversion had its on spirit who will not want to let her go. She is still young so it will be easier, then take her for counseling and you and the family should keep talking and educating her.
With time she will get better but above all you all should be vigilant and pray
May God help parents and children in Jesus name
ReplyDeleteMy problem now is the 🥕
ReplyDeletePoster, this child got the 🥕 from your fridge abi and if she wasn't caught she'd return the 🥕 to where she took it from then you'd eat or cook with it.
I wanna throw up 😰😰
Poster you're supposed to grind atarodo and put inside that place and she will NEVER try that rubbish again.
10years? Lord have mercy.
ReplyDeletePoster inform your sister, the other kids should be summoned as well, so that the origin of this disgusting act will be known. Further steps will be taken from there
Oh my God..this is just so terrible. You have no choice than to let your sister know. It's only her that can handle the situation better
ReplyDeleteChildren who can't respect their parents, respect their aunties and fear them so much so immediately you saw that ,using a cane should have corrected this situation and follow it up by telling d mother what you will do when next time you hear about that
ReplyDeletePls tell the mum let her be aware they need counselling and sex education
ReplyDelete