LOADING CHRONICLE
The guy I am dating right now doesn't measure up to me in any way, physically he is my spec(6'2, dark, full beards,muscular and handsome), s#xually he gives it to me just the way I like it but in every other aspect he is lagging behind .
The way he chews irritates me, he eats food and doesn't remain a grain on his plate, his jokes are completely unnecessary and are cracked at wrong times, not good at holding conversations, the clothes he wears are just somehow. I wonder how a guy with a great physique dresses like an old man, he is not doing so well financially (no assets or investments at 35) and he is too much of a lover boy(every time "how much do you love me??, "you've not said you love me today", "I miss you so much") and always wants to be around me like a cat.
I am 30 and I really want to settle down and be done with childbirth by 35.
If we eventually settle down, it's going to be the same case as the chronicle poster of Thursday August 29, 2024
The guy I am dating right now doesn't measure up to me in any way, physically he is my spec(6'2, dark, full beards,muscular and handsome), s#xually he gives it to me just the way I like it but in every other aspect he is lagging behind .
The way he chews irritates me, he eats food and doesn't remain a grain on his plate, his jokes are completely unnecessary and are cracked at wrong times, not good at holding conversations, the clothes he wears are just somehow. I wonder how a guy with a great physique dresses like an old man, he is not doing so well financially (no assets or investments at 35) and he is too much of a lover boy(every time "how much do you love me??, "you've not said you love me today", "I miss you so much") and always wants to be around me like a cat.
I am 30 and I really want to settle down and be done with childbirth by 35.
If we eventually settle down, it's going to be the same case as the chronicle poster of Thursday August 29, 2024
Some of you will ask why I can't wait to meet my spec, the answer is I am an inside person, an extreme introvert, I work from home, my current jobs are really demanding and I hardly socialize or step out except for gym sometimes and morning walks. Even my groceries and clothing shopping are done for me by someone or I order.
With the way my life is programmed, I feel I might just age inside this house if miss this opportunity.
Met this my guy at the gym and he started pursuing me, when we were getting to know each other I knew he is not someone I'll want to settle with on a normal day because I've always had a picture of what I want. I'd love the guy I end up with to be ahead of me in every aspect but this is not the case with this one.
Conji pushed me to start something with him. He has fallen for me completely and is looking between April/May for us to settle down.
I am game but If I find someone that ticks my boxes before that time, I'll take a walk.
We met late last year and started dating February this year. I've tried my best to make him more "demure" but it seems whatever it is is just in him. No changes or improvements at all.
I'd love for my kids to have his height and features tho, he is cute for days.
You sound self centred ....look at the reason you want to marry somebodys child? na wah oh.....I pray that you do not have a potpoirr of chronicles to send in later...
Please leave him. Allow him find someone else. He doesn't measure up to you, but you are still dating him. 🙄
ReplyDeletePoster, what you described is exactlymy husband. Let me share my story with you. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years now. He’s incredibly tall, dark, and handsome, with a fantastic physique. I always look forward to making love with him, and he never fails to make me feel like I'm on cloud9. From the moment we met until now, he has never looked at another woman or cheated.
DeleteHe’s my number 1 fan, constantly encouraging me to be bold and confident. He’s also a great help around the house and an amazing father. His love and support have been instrumental in my career growth; I’ve risen from a junior staff member when we first met to now being an assistant director.
Of course, there are times I get annoyed with his bushy or uncouth behaviour and feel like walking away, but then I remember the protection, care and love I experience with him, and I choose to stay. Our children are absolutely adorable, taking after him in their appearance. However, one of them is struggling academically, and I secretly know it’s because they take after their father in this regard.
One of the challenges we face is communication. I’ve asked that we only speak in proper English or our native dialect, especially around the kids, but he feels more comfortable speaking in Pidgin English, which I dislike because our children are listening. Sometimes, I wish he could speak proper English fluently, but that doesn’t seem likely.
In the end, it all comes down to your own priorities and what truly matters to you
Anon 20:13 is that your hubby you described like that? Nawaaah ooh...Let me burst your bubble statistics shows that 98% of children intelligence comes from their mother.. intelligent women begat intelligent kids. So no dey reason am at all.
DeleteI pity you! If u marry that man, you will be making both of u miserable! You will treat him poorly and he will eventually lash out. Hope u will be able to bear the aftermath of ur desperation
ReplyDeletePls leave him for the people he’ll measure up to. Don’t go and marry someone that only appeals to you with his dick and looks. Marriage is wayyyyy more than all of that.
ReplyDeleteKeep walking 🚶🚶🚶you will never love him, even inside the marriage..... Nothing beat peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteSis can you let this one go. This is why we have high rate of divorce. you just want few years of marriage and that's it. You don't sound like you would be long in marriage with this one
ReplyDeleteOoohhh! Still you see one deh complain
ReplyDeleteMy own is that, you have seen him how he is, just be aware that you’ll be the beat winner and a whole lot of things. You might cheat or he might cheat. The marriage will break down, and y’all will be single parents
ReplyDeleteOP you sound educated and well learned. But your reasoning is few steps removed from an imbecile. What is this?
ReplyDeleteYou are using that young man! If he is bloody good enough for you to open your legs for him to pound you, then why isn't he good enough to settle down with? What's that you say? You lowered your standard? Madam standard building, weldone.
It is either you go out there and make yourself available for the kind of man you desire or you mold one yourself. There is no love in everything wrote. Stop leading that man on. Peoples emotions are too important to be played with.
Imagine if it was a guy saying what you said about you to others.
Question @last para of DG
DeleteAnswer:
Na insults at him and men for full the comments section be dat.
Lover man gbenshing introvert user thinking he has found love.
Abi na user demm dey gbenshing use sef and she dey think say na she dey in charge?
For the first time I agree completely with you. That young lady many be educated but she is not wise. Do not smell what you don't want to eat. Her introversion may be a huge turn off to the accomplished, go getting type of man she craves. This is how some people throw away real gold for fool's gold.
DeleteAnother chronicle loading.
ReplyDeleteMadam, you'll still cheat after marrying that young man. It's written all over you through this comment. I blamed the guy anyway. This is what I posted yesterday or a day before about killing a woman's ego and someone asked if women have ego. If this right here isn't ego, then I can't help anyone thinking otherwise but advise they seek help in knowledge.
ReplyDeleteTo the Kings here,
Let me drop this piece I shared two days ago here which this madam's chronicle just confirmed with this her lines.
👇👇👇👇👇
''and he is too much of a lover boy(every time "how much do you love me??, "you've not said you love me today", "I miss you so much") and always wants to be around me like a cat.''
Rule #1: Don’t Act Excited
Stop acting like you're thrilled to be around her or eager to know everything about her.
When you play it cool, she starts to doubt her own appeal.
A woman with a fragile ego needs constant reassurance.
Deny her that, and she becomes vulnerable.
Rule #2: Never Validate Her
Compliments on her looks? NEVER.
The more you validate her appearance, the more you boost her ego, making her see you as low value.
Only praise her when she earns it through actions, not appearances.
Keep your validation rare and valuable.
Rule #3: Don’t Show Interest in Sleeping with Her:
Don’t let her think you’re desperate for sex
Women can sense when you’re overly eager, and it boosts their ego.
Be the guy who's not desperate, who has options.
Women are drawn to men who seem like they don’t need them.
Take this rule serious. You can see she confirmed it already that;
''and always wants to be around me like a cat.''
Rule #4: Never Be Too Available:
If you’re always at her beck and call, she’ll take you for granted.
Show her that you have your own life and goals.
Make your time and attention a luxury, not a given.
Rule #5: Dress Nice in Public:
When you go out, dress sharp.
If you look better than her, the attention shifts from her to you.
This not only boosts your status but also chips away at her ego.
Women are used to being the center of attention.
Change the game.
Rule #6: Look at Other Women:
Don’t be afraid to check out other women when you're with her.
It shows confidence and destroys her sense of security.
Make her realize that you have options, and she’s not the only one who can turn heads.
She’ll start working harder.
Rule #7: Never Get Jealous:
When she tries to make you jealous, stay cool.
Show no reaction. This conveys confidence and signals that you’re not easily threatened
Women respect men who don’t crumble under pressure.
Your calm demeanor will make her question her own worth.
Rule #8: Never Ask for Commitment:
Never be the one to push for a commitment.
Let her chase you for it.
If you ask her to be exclusive, you’re signaling that she’s won, boosting her ego.
Instead, let her work for your commitment.
This keeps her on her toes.
Gradually increase the distance and let her chase you for once.
© TEEJAY
TeeJay na redpill you don swallow so o
DeleteYou calmed down this Sunday morning to write this epistle on top someone else’s life issues Teejay?
DeleteTeejay are you high on something?
DeleteSomething Dey do the boy
DeleteWhile these are the characteristics of so-called bad boys and make them tick, you don’t need to exhibit them for a woman that genuinely loves you. It is absolutely unnecessary and can be counter productive.
DeleteForget the rules. She doesn't like him.
DeleteWe always bend the rules for the ones we love and that isn't gender specific.
Teejay and mis yarn 5&6 real men don't even need to abide by this your epistle
DeleteYou see them crying under this truth of a comment. Please kings Teejay just gave the best guide lines to follow. Truth is always bitter in this ladies hear....
DeleteTeejay you forgot to add the name of the author at the bottom as usual.
Delete@Bambulu 2.0
Teejay that xrap you typed can only work on the insecure and on women with very low self esteem. Frustration has pushed you into red pill agenda which is a huge shame. Even doggedity made so much sense. You have just lost a potential benefactor. Again, big shame.
DeleteYou fit dey plan to use uncle make uncle dey plan to finish you patapata but no panic. May the best gamer win.
ReplyDeleteWell said.
DeleteLmao. No mind am
DeleteU don't love him at all.. U are just with him because of konji, please leave him alone, if he ever settle with u, he will be miserable all his live..
ReplyDeleteNa poster go dey miserable. Not all cry like that man married to the lecturer.
DeleteBest of luck but nobody have it all
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't measure up to you, but his manhood does abi.
ReplyDeleteSluttychic.
You dey mind her
DeleteKonji pushed me to start something with him. Yeye
If you marry him;please save SDK's email because you would need it more for future chronicles.
ReplyDeleteYou have your spec,which isn't bad;but you would be selfish to continue with that marriage where you aren't proud of your spouse to a reasonable percentage.
You only want him now because he is the only available option;so after childbirth what next? Resentment and all sets in and you would wish you never got married to him.
And with what you explained;there is no room to love this man,plus you would need more than a fine face,good height or a gymnastic body to keep a marriage going;so quit now and find someone you can love plus tolerate for life.
@MARTINS
Tell yourself the truth, you're just managing him because you have no other option.
ReplyDeleteJust stop at gbenshing him, because marrying him will be unfair to both of you.😟
If is that Bad make you leave am and go look for Your Spec
ReplyDeleteHow come you do not love him and Enjoy how he does it chaii
Hello iya Boys
Use am hold body till you find your spec, but if not, marry am like that, you don dey old oo, time is not your friend.
ReplyDeletePlease don't marry him o.. else you will be miserable for the rest of your life.
DeleteOld? At 30? Na wa oh! Na wa for Nigeria and Nigerians oh!
DeletePoster, if this guy love you as you said , there’s nothing you will tell to do and he won’t do it.
ReplyDeleteFor his dressing : You both can shop together or get him the kind of clothes you like and tell him , how great he looks in this type of cloth.
For chewing : You can do same too when you both eat. “Like babe don’t chew like this do it this way” and please, don’t look serious when saying this.
For not leaving a grain: That’s not a bad idea as long as you he is not doing it with plate scrapping sound.
For the jokes: Have a conversation with him about it.
You are privileged to have a good job and doing well for yourself others aren’t so. Encourage him and you will see positive changes in him.
I pray the young man is genuine.
I think you like him
ReplyDeleteAt least you like some things about him
But he has refused to be polished
Why not try direct talk and be like look I like you but I need you to improve some things
Find and watch Tunde bakares funny video of how his wife polished him include teaching him to close his mouth while eating
Not every time run
I shouted with laughter, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Osanobua o! Nsogbu di kwa
ReplyDeleteYou are not serious my dear, you can't have it all you hear, human beings are not perfect including you
See your mouth like he doesn't remain a grain of food in his plate? What is wrong with that?
Girl your wahala is too much
Poster,leave him alone or you will be the miserable one at the long.
ReplyDeleteWFH doesn't mean you literally have to work from home.
ReplyDeleteThere are shared office spaces like WeWork, IWG etc. They are great for networking and creating a work-community.
You can also work from low footfall cafes or restaurants in vantage areas. The "IYKYK" type of places, that are hidden gems for lowkey people.
P.S.
A man has a beard...not beards.
The correct phrase is ... "He doesn't leave a grain on his plate".
My dear, don't do it! You will regret it!!! Take it from someone who settled, and is now divorced after just a year in marriage. You will be miserable. I married someone I wasn't attracted to. I tried to change him and it was a disaster. He tolerated me when we were "dating" as soon as we got married, Uncle wanted to put me in my place. Don't do it if you love yourself.
ReplyDeletePoster better listen to this. Marriage is hard enough, dont complicate your life. don’t get married to this man thinking you will use him, he can sense that you’re just tolerating him. Once you marry, na you go dey find him face oh! And you say he’s handsome, other women will help you to tolerate him. Better wait for your someone you will treat well.
DeleteBesides, all this plan of you want to finish childbirth at 35,… let me tell you a little of my story…
I finished University at 21, had a lot of suitors, planned to marry before 25 and finish childbirth by 30. I got married at 22 all right, to someone who was good enough on paper, didn’t love him exceptionally but I liked him enough and tried to polish him as much as I could, he had the money anyway. I did not last more than 2 months in that marriage because after polishing guy man, he would wear the nice clothes I picked out while shopping to go chase other women, na wetin pain me pass. I ran for my life the day I found out.
Now I’m married again, I met my husband through a mutual friend because like you, my life’s situations didn’t let me meet a lot of people. I still had suitors alright but nobody I really wanted to settle with. Things went fast and we married within a year. I had my first child at 31, praying that I will be able to have the number I want, I no get time limit again. So calm down, you can meet someone else within 3 months and marry in 1year plus.
Ladies and stupid entitlement, "you polished a man with his own money" why will he not leave you when you have nothing else to offer. why don't you people just seat and think about this words coming out of your mouth. As a man I wondered how some ladies brain works
Delete@19:38 your ego will be the end of you. So if you have money and someone helps make you into a fine member of society, it is a crime? Yes I polished him, because he was crass, also used to dress funny, but I thought to myself, everyone didn’t have the opportunities I had. I would show him where to buy good items of clothing, how to pair them, encourage him to lose weight, in some cases, suggest better ways to speak to people, better ways to deal with people. But all you see is ‘his own money’ poor man mindset. FYI I had my own money too! Sheesh! And if I don’t polish him with his money, you expect me to come collect from you?
DeletePlease continue to wallow in your ignorant ego that lacks substance, all of that is for the woman that ends up or ended up with you. Thank God I have nothing to do with people like you anymore, trying to find a mate is what puts one in the path of low lives in the name of finding husband.
I was earning at 22 most probably more than you were at 30, and my now husband is way better than my ex in every ramification including financial, I and my husband are in same career so you know the implication, I’m financially better than my ex. I have no regrets, I’m just glad I was able to extricate myself fast from that mistake of a marriage. Last I heard he was promising another girl marriage whilst being a husband and father of two. Everyday I do thanksgiving that I had big iron balls and left a bad husband not minding what society had to say.
I pray God sends his destined woman his way.
ReplyDeleteMe that like someone to be all over me I no see. I won’t even polish him. I’ll leave him as he is. Imagine polishing him for other women na you go cry
DeleteAre there not dating site for introverted ppl? What about connections through friends and family. Even introverts go to church. If your poosay can be extroverted then I am sure you can make an effort. Join a charity, club for something you believe in, volunteer, there are ways to meet ppl. Please! Bout you introverted with extrovert poosay. Girl, you better stop!
ReplyDeletePoster no man is ugly oooo always pray for a man with inner beauty not the physical beauty.
ReplyDeleteI promise you, a person with those exact qualities you have picked in your head exist. You only need to learn how to manifest it. I am sure you know books you can read to help you through how the Law of attraction works. If you marry this guy, you will hurt him and frustration will almost kill you. Trust me, I know.
ReplyDeleteIf you're an indoor person like me, I'm sure people enter your DM. You can meet other people through that means and explore other options . please don't settle
ReplyDeleteIf you're an indoor person like me, I'm sure people enter your DM. You can meet other people through that means and explore other options . please don't settle
ReplyDeletePoster free the poor guy and look for your mr perfect, stop punishing him now and later is this is who he is and he will not change into the picture in your head. Allow other girls to date him and love him just the way he is.
ReplyDeleteYou are desperate and this guy has seen that in your eyes, you are not to be with him please. Wait for someone else.