Hmmmmm na wah oh....
Sunday, August 11, 2024
37 comments:
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True words 👍👍👍
ReplyDeleteNo gree ooooo. Many marriages cannot withstand external interference. All the points she raised are valid but not final. Over the years in marriage,I have learnt to be very flexible,even in life,nothing is absolute only God.
ReplyDeleteExactly,over the years I've become more flexible too. I don't see anything wrong with what she wrote,she made exception of sickness. It's not all marriages that survive when mother in law is living with the couple
DeleteAre sure about that your last paragraph?
ReplyDeleteThat's why is good to pretend small until after marriage
Inukwa
DeleteAnon 13:32- you are dangerous
DeleteI also prefer not to live with my mother or mother in law, but if situation warrants it, no yawa.
ReplyDeleteIt's not even advisable for anyone to live with a couple, especially if they're newly weds. I'm with her on this.
ReplyDeleteYou are right my sister. We all need our privacy. Let everyone remain in their tents we can still bond when we can
ReplyDeleteThe guy whose experience got posted a few days ago mocked his ex for being single, the same as this lady. I don't understand their need to always gloat about their exes still being single, though... Meanwhile, their reason for being single may not even have a thing to do with the issues you had with them.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, his reason for seeking reconciliation does not negate his initial stance, so you did well to refuse to take him back because your views on that issue will always clash and likely cause issues for you guys in the future.
But not you trying to make it look like the fact he got separated after some months proves you right, as if he had a happy married life gives credence to you being wrong. When it all just boils down to having different perspectives.
In my next life, not even living in the matrimonial home, even living in the same area with them, i will not agree because of too much interference.
ReplyDeleteThat was my situation. We lived as next door neighbours and my MIL tried to control even the kind of clothes i wear and the kind of food i cooked for her son. She wanted to be in charge of everything that had her son in it, some i compromised and others i rebelled. For the ones i rebelled, i was tagged arrogant and disrespectful.
Fast forward, we moved out of the area and i have seen peace ever since that time.
Now, my husband brother married this year, and is living as next door neighbors with them, to cut the long story short, they are already not in talking terms with his wife, the relationship has soo degenerated to the point that the girl doesnt even greet her. Now the question is, why does she have problem with the wives of her two sons? I have been vindicated, bcos that girl did not even tolerate half of wat i tolerated.
Dear men, when you get married, keep ur wife away from your parents, so not keep them in the same location, let there be distance, that way respect would be bred among them. Any of the parties can visit and go but don’t ever keep ur wife where she would meet ur parents every single day. It never ends well. Ur mom will never let u guys grow, she will not give ur wife a chance to make her mistakes, learn from them and build her own home the way she deems fit.
Like they don't know that already. They do, na foolishness dey worry them.
DeleteCan they agree to live with their mother in-laws?😏
Nigerian men expect you to change to who you are not to be called wife material. Just do you, your own man who have the same mindset as you will come.
ReplyDeleteMy friend!!!! Stop generalizing!!! You have dated or married all Nigerian men to come to that baseless, vexatious, unfounded conclusion????
DeleteMost Nigerian men have a bad attitude towards marriage and lack leadership qualities
DeleteMany of them are misogynistic, so they are management not marriage material
They don't have value for marriage so cheating, emotionally being unavailable, financial , verbal, reproductive and physical abuse is nothing to them
I'm with her on this. I share the same opinion as her.
ReplyDeleteI never had any issue with my parents inlaw staying with me, how long do they even have to stay in this world sef...My husband is an only child so there is no way my parents inlaw will not come & stay in my house, if I don't allow his parents come to our house, what mouth will I have to tell him that my parents are coming, me that love my parents like kilode. For me that has never been an issue, I've leaved with more than eight total strangers from the time I started staying on my own till now. Thankfully my husband doesn't have issues with people staying with us, provided you didn't come with ill motives, surprisingly all of them are now doing well that we have become a big family. One of the reason why I do that is bcos I know what it means to be without a shelter not to talk where the next meal will come from, I just believe that if I could provide shelter & even if it is one meal for someone, they can think straight & look for something to do.
ReplyDeleteAn abundance mindset!..anon, you are a special being 🙌🙌
DeleteThis mindset that are mother in-laws are bad is wrong❌..
DeleteU all ladies will be mother in-laws someday, be careful what u ask for.. As long as there is space and we don't lack..
There is nothing wrong with having my mother inlaw live with me as long as she's a good person..
So if she need her child or can't help herself as she grow older, shes not welcome to her sons house? I don't want daughter in-laws that won't want me in my son's house....
That's because they behave alike.
DeleteSome people are unbearable while some are considerable.
God bless your heart.💙
Thanks for rendering a helping hand when needed. I did the same, I got married to the first son of 6 kids. All the siblings passed through me. It was so difficult, but we couldn’t abandoned them. We didn’t have much then but had to do it for the family. That sacrifice cemented the bond they have for each other today, They take me as their second mummy, I can practically call any of them if I need anything. This is the relationship I want for my kids with their fathers siblings. Peace is everything.
DeleteBy His grace, we are going to be mothers-in-law in future, however, situations are different, it worked for you does not mean it worked for others, you accepted to do that doesn't make you better than the others who did not, so everybody is right in this regard.
DeletePeople have had different experiences with in-law living with them. The fact that you can do it doesn't make the other person who can't, bad, do what works for you.
Boundaries should be set, why would I go and live with my son because he is an only child? If I have accommodation issues let him rent one for me ( if I do not have the ability to do that). If I need caregiving, let him get me a live-in nanny.
The lady has said her mind, do what works for you. How many men would want their MIL live with them? Both spouses should be considerate to each other.
God bless you
DeleteThe post is not about in laws visiting but living permanently with the couple.
DeleteExternal intervention? I can't deal. I share same opinion with her...
ReplyDeleteBut To Be Sincere ooo
ReplyDeleteHe no Easy ooo
It is well oooo
Hello iya Boys
In as much as I love my space, I can cope with reasonable people.
ReplyDeleteNo be say I go come die before my time because I wan please person.😎
Mrs Sharon, that’s the kind of selfishness we have today. Wife’s want peace and space while mother should be far from their sons life. We forget that tomorrow we might meet the same faith. You as a wife is also a problem if you don’t know, everyone should run out because you got married to their son. Some women already have battles in mind when entering marriage. This life is all about compromise, but some want all that will please them all the time.
ReplyDeleteI'm just surprised
DeleteWell she is saying this with all assurance now. Never say never until it is your turn to become a mother-inlaw. Why are people trying so hard this days to tear down the walls of unity? Mind you I am all for peace of mind and all that boundary stuff. But if the persons in question are no threat to your peace of mind, why create a division. Well.shencan still find a man that is with her together on this table.
ReplyDeleteYou didn’t lie
ReplyDeleteShe never said her MIL will not come and stay for some time,but does not want any of their parents to live with them.They are 2 different scenarios here. Pls understand before commenting.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteDon't mind them.
DeleteThe Most Complex B
You are the one that don't understand what the word comprehension mean. Go and do a good research on the word.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day the relationship you are trying to protect may still scatter my sister.
ReplyDeleteI like my space too as a mother-in-law soon to be. I can stay for few days with my son's or daughter but not to live there permanent. May be when am old they can decided whom to live with me in my own house.. some ladies come into married with war in their mind but what they don't know was that they too can not have peace of mind .
ReplyDelete