Read the ORIGINAL Chronicle HERE
Stella, I haven't been able to get a good response from him because he has refused to respond to my messages on Whatsapp. He claims to be too busy for us to talk on phone. I asked for a small sum to put our child in summer class of which he said he'll send it but till today, nothing. Before I had asked for that money, he was always calling our child but stopped since the day I asked for the money.
This guy just locked up. Contrary to some bvs conclusion that I tried to pin him down with pregnancy, I'm not a big fan of marriage and besides there's nothing I've gained from him, it's the other way round. I tried to be the supporting girlfriend while her guy is struggling but he's proved to be laid back and prefers you spend on him. He's never den ashamed to collect money from me and never returned them. I'm confused, this period is really hard.
I don't want to destroy ties with this issue because of our child in his mom's custody. I'm thinking of sending him another message telling him I won't enrol our child in school this session if he doesn't start sending money for her. I don't need his money to feed.
The financial load is affecting my business. How do I grow if I'm saddled with so much. All my savings to buy things for my business is almost exhausted. Family problem, Baby challenge. God help us.
Thanks for your platform. God bless you.
This issue is so frustrating...what kind of animal did you procreate with? if destroying ties is what will solve this problem, then do it...what is the use of keeping the ties and having him act so useless?
ah i dont pity you at all......
You are one of those who don't believe in marriage but believe in being a baby mama.
ReplyDeleteThat's one of the consequences of your belief. Face it.
BBC tell them!! The devil sold a theory for them and they bought it hook line and sinker, he forgot to tell them the downsides.
DeleteIf you insist on flinging legs open as a women, know that you will SUFFER if you are not financially, mentally and emotionally prepared comes with it.
DeleteKeep your body and mind holy and clean.
There is nothing cool with sleeping around and racking up partners like numbers on a receipt.
Nothing.
She doesn’t believe in marriage may be now, because she couldn’t get it then. Poster cut down your expenses and train your child, it’s only one child we are talking about here. If he comes around fine, if not do your best. You are lucky she spends time with her grand ma. Also talk to his family if they can contribute, if not face front.
DeleteCan u homeschool ur child? if yes please do or get cheap ones,.. Just manage, this too shall pass, don't send ur child to anybody..
ReplyDeletePoster, enrol your child into govt primary school (Govt primary school now nursery class)
ReplyDeleteI just read the original chronicles and I'm here to tell you that you're not a serious person.
ReplyDeleteMtcheeew
Why is she an unserious person?
DeleteYes I agree with Dante. It's obvious she's unserious.
DeleteShe's even being unserious with her child right now...
If you cannot cater for the child, send her to her grandma since you can visit. And stop opening your legs FGS!!! That man will not marry you again. You ain't serious anyway.
ReplyDeleteSince you don't believe in marriage and you can open your legs then continue your single parenthood ,good luck
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong if you want or wanted marriage. From both posted stories/explanation, it is quite clear he doesn't want to have anything with both children. Your older child has been abandoned by the father and mother by being left with the paternal grandma. Please don't do the same with your daughter. You are on your own here. So stop it up, get both your children together and sort yourself out - you can do it. I hope this is a lesson for other women. If the man was not present for the first child and still strayed, why open yourself up for another child. Even if the mam didn't use a condom, you should think for yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will carry that baby for 9 months and go through the joys and rigours of nursing. Basically your life will be on hold. While the man goes on his jolly way. I commend you for not terminating the pregnancy as he wanted. But now, you have to step up and care for bothnuour children - that's why you are their mother. If their father has failed them, don't do the same. You'll be fine. It will be hard some days, other days easier. That's just how life is. All the best.
ReplyDeleteIts really fun how alot of Nigerian lady don't consider the cost of training a child before trying to pin pregnancy on a struggling dude..I know this card trust me a lot of female play victim to gain sympathy... Its best you make peace with the father and know what's going on with him..trust me he might be struggling financially ..support him with prayer and love .
ReplyDeleteMe I'm of the opinion that whether married or not you should birth the number of kids you can take care of in case one of the parent decide to be deadbeat, you born the first one,you guys went to dump for grandma yet you did not do anything to protect yourself from pregnancy when you know the kind of person you are dealing with and you know fully well that you can't cater for the kids you are birthing. This your situation has nothing to do with being 'fan' of marriage or not cos even if you are married and you know you are dealing with that kind of person then you should birth the number of kids you can take care of alone if you insist on procreating with this kind of man. I don't have advice for you cos you brought it upon yourself
ReplyDeleteWe need to be brave. My body, my pregnancy, my baby, my decision, my responsibility. Once you have this sorted and prepared for, anything help you get from the child's father will be received with gratitude, especially when he never made you any commitment in marriage.
ReplyDeleteHe said he wasn't ready for another baby, one would assume you were ready for the responsibilities since you didn't do much to prevent it. Even if you go to court, since a child is already with him fully, he owes you no further support since it will be assumed the responsibilities are equally shared between the two parties who brought them to earth. He is not more responsible for them than you should be.
My advice is cut your coat according to your pocket. Put the child in a school you can afford, feed her the food you can afford, dress her in the ones you can afford. Motherhood is not a destitute situation. What if he left both for you? What if he was dead?
This isn't true. She can go to court and seek for custody of the first child and welfare for both.
DeleteIf you desire to be a babymama be sure that your pocket is full. You can't force a responsibility on a man when he is not ready for it . If you want a baby without a husband , do not expect the man to give by fire by force .. If he accepts his responsibility be grateful, if he didn't be grateful at least you had what you want 'baby'
ReplyDeleteIt's because you're still looking up to him to do something that's why you're yet to figure out that your child's welfare is totally yours the moment you decided to have a baby with a guy who isn't ready.
ReplyDeleteAlot of women with less resources are taking care of their kids alone, dust yourself up and take up the responsibility, may God help you
This is a really tough spot, shouldering most of the responsibility for your child on your own. It's completely understandable to feel frustrated and overwhelmed, especially when the father isn't providing the support you need. It's hard to move forward when you're struggling both emotionally and financially. Some of us have had to cater for our children all by ourselves until fate smiled at us.
ReplyDeleteFor now, try to focus on what you can control. If he's not willing to help, consider finding alternative support—maybe family or friends could assist. Looking into more affordable schooling options could also ease the financial burden. It's okay to take a step back and think about what's best for your child and yourself in the long run.
Communication is key. If you decide to reach out to him again, try explaining your situation calmly, focusing on your child's needs. Sometimes, people respond better when they understand the impact on their children. If this doesn't work, don't hesitate to seek help, whether that's from a mediator or legal advice to ensure he meets his responsibilities.
You're one amongst many. It’s common for single parents to face similar challenges. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your child. You're doing the best you can, and that's what matters. Stay strong, and keep moving forward one step at a time.
This is almost what I'm experiencing. It's terrible
ReplyDeleteYou need to find a way to double your hustle, and then go get your first born. Someone said something up there and it’s true… your first born has been abandoned by both mother and father, it’s not a fun situation to be in and I hope they don’t resent you for it in future.
ReplyDeleteOur actions have consequences, negatively or positively. Ladies we're more at the receiving end especially on matters like this.
ReplyDeleteI said it before and will say it again, make we dey try get sense the close leg ohhhhh. Stop defiling God's own temple