ADVICE NEEDED
Hi Stella,I need to air my views.
A few weeks ago, I met this lady in church. She should be in her late 30s. We started talking through a friend. At first, I wanted to be friends, although I am single and want to settle down.
We started to communicate, and I kind of like her. I randomly told her I was hungry and needed proper Nigeria food as we were in the diaspora. Can you believe she sent me 6 pans of different Nigerian dishes.
I like her, but I already see masculine traits as I believe it's my duty as a man to provide. I feel she earns more than I do, and it's concerning. Did she do this because she's just nice, or is she desperate to be hitched?
Will she be domineering in the relationship or submissive?
Mind you, we have spoken about marriage, and she said we should take things slowly.
I have been introduced to and speak to other women, but she seems different. I am 40, btw.
Please post for your followers' input. Thank you.
Why not take it slow and easy...? She has shown that she is Interested by sending you these soups...Does it matter that she cooked and sent? please take eachh step and correct mistakes as you see....You difficult sha...
A few weeks ago, I met this lady in church. She should be in her late 30s. We started talking through a friend. At first, I wanted to be friends, although I am single and want to settle down.
We started to communicate, and I kind of like her. I randomly told her I was hungry and needed proper Nigeria food as we were in the diaspora. Can you believe she sent me 6 pans of different Nigerian dishes.
I like her, but I already see masculine traits as I believe it's my duty as a man to provide. I feel she earns more than I do, and it's concerning. Did she do this because she's just nice, or is she desperate to be hitched?
Will she be domineering in the relationship or submissive?
Mind you, we have spoken about marriage, and she said we should take things slowly.
I have been introduced to and speak to other women, but she seems different. I am 40, btw.
Please post for your followers' input. Thank you.
Why not take it slow and easy...? She has shown that she is Interested by sending you these soups...Does it matter that she cooked and sent? please take eachh step and correct mistakes as you see....You difficult sha...
Bro no make pans of food deceive you.
ReplyDeleteMost ladies at that age range can do anything to attract a man.
DOZZYBEST.
Hehehehehe (copied)
DeleteHe really urgently wants our ingredients (sorry inputs) that he forgot to tell us whether or not the soups were tasty.
Poster,
It is believed you know that soups can be ordered (even across countries) in the diaspora. So what you got and eat may not be by her though she has shown she is kind.
Anyway, most women (except does who have cooking in their DNA) do not keep up with cooking after marriage. So better judge on the matters more important than home made food. Take that from a married man.
So, what are you both needs of a marital partner?
Use yours in measuring her as you let the relationship unfold. And make a diligent effort to quickly find hers and measure yourself if you meet the standards.
Forget the Nigerian mindset of being the one to have more money and be the overall provider. Even here, some men are not looking for that STATUS. Is a man a beast of burden in a marriage? So long as you can fend for your needs and some wants by yourself without a woman, she cannot "domineering" you because you both are a couple and she earns more, double or triple.
Like my Sister has told you take each step at a time. Just do not waste her time if you are not so interested.
#theIsokoMan
That's a lie,
DeleteNot every woman in her late 30s is desperate, at least I am not.
Understand that marriage isn't a do or die affair for some people.
The lady just told you that she gallant gidigba
DeleteBro, is it the making food for you with her money that makes you feel she is acting desperate??? I can't conclude but you should also check yourself if you suspect every good deeds by a woman at your age. I see insecurities here, please don't take this relationship further than just being friends. My small advice.
DeleteAnon 15:01,
DeleteYou are a useless goat. I had a married colleague whose wife had not joined him abroad always complain about hunger. I cooked a very tasty big pot of stew with my own money, and delivered it to him with nothing in mind at all. You want to know why? Because I am kind. Yes, there's something called Kindness which is very alien to you as I can see. I never let him visit me until 5 months after that gesture and it was simply because I wasn't mobile and needed him to pick an item for me.
Again, I say you are mad.
And you mr poster, I hope this lady doesn't give you the light of day. And that you end up with the "feminine" woman that will ruin you just as you deserve. Disgusting pile of shit.
She gives problem, she doesn’t give wahala…. Men! 😣
ReplyDeleteLucent
I tire oo
DeleteFan Emmanuel
I just tire
DeleteLike ehhh!
DeleteMy tired is tayad mehhn.😣
Hmmmm she is raising the bar......
DeleteEven if I enter my late 50s if u send me text of you are hungry omor na you go still send me money to use cook am or order am even if I earn five times your salary.
Some women dey try o
There is an art to every thing.
DeleteKnowing the art is the icing on the thing.
I wonder what some men want.
DeleteJust take things easy and be open minded.
Asin eh..make God help pesin.
DeleteYou see, that gender can never be pleased. Most of them are cynical. Them go dey shift goal post up and down hoping to prove what is non existent. That's why I don't pity them when they finally end up with their illusion of a feminine woman for a wife.
DeleteWhat do some men want exactly?
ReplyDeleteNdi "what do you bring to the table" don see table, fear n gree am sitdown there. Ikwakwakwa.
DeleteAnon 15:48 lmao 😂 . This is a real Onye ‘what do you bring to the table’. See as he said she has masculine traits, ndi alpha malu. He don see wetin she bring to the table now, fear no gree am chop. That is to tell you that these set of men are confused bitter beings who do not know what they want in life.
DeleteOga poster, at age 40, you don’t know what you want in life, you are writing to us so we can tell you what exactly? Do we know this woman? Did we eat the food she sent with you? How are we to know if she will be domineering or subservient or submissive?
If you know what you want, you will either observe her for a bit more to see if she’s what you want or you drop her let her go her way. She has kuku told you to take it slow, but your stomach will not allow you, na wa!
Women, this is why they say you should not do too much, don’t be a pick me. Aunty don quick cook 6 pots of food and all brother can do is come ask strangers if she will be domineering or submissive
Omo, e Choke.😁
Delete16:53
Delete"Oga poster, at age 40, you don’t know what you want in life, you are writing to us so we can tell you what exactly?"
50years+ women have written in here to seek opinions on life and marital issues.
Remember to ask the same question of a 40years old woman who comes here seeking life counsel.
Even the Bible says that in the multitude of counsel a plan is established.
16:53 That your last paragraph ehn, correct!!!
DeleteTake it slow, but if you feel threatened by her independence then keep it moving, many women will happily submit and have no opinion of theirs if you wed them, because it seems that's the sort of woman you want.
ReplyDeleteThere’s no dependent woman abroad! He knows this too. This poster is not serious!!
DeletePoster your self esteem is too low to marry, build your esteem first
DeleteIf she was desperate, she wouldn't have said you should take things slowly. She would have agreed immediately when you talked about marriage.
ReplyDeleteIt's obvious she likes you but I don't think she's desperate.
Spot on!
DeleteExactly BBC
Oil dey your head
Thank you 👍
DeleteAnonymous 19:39, Amen! Thank you. 🌹
DeleteBabe Kaima, 🌹
DeleteSix bowls of soup na restaurant? Some of them won’t keep up with it after marriage o. Why you sef single at 40? Red banner
ReplyDeletePoster please don’t marry her. She seems like a selfless person while you are calculating.
DeleteI repeat, please marry your fellow calculators
This Oga wants someone educated but not very educated.
DeleteHe wants someone earning money , but not earning too much. Tufiakwa. You want to marry someone and then proceed to clip their wings. That is extremely wicked
Just take it slowly. You expressed a desire and she met it. I'm sure she is a good cook or also likes local foods. Pray and watch out. No need to be in a hurry.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean with if she will be submissive?
You would have been disappointed if you found out she could cook and didn't make a move about your desire for local soups. For some people it is not a big deal.
Best wishes as search.
Inukwa, this poster is funny o. You requested for something and she met your need. Which masculine trait are you seeing, biko zuo ike. Just know that there are still good ladies. I do that a lot when someone request for something I can provide, I won't mind giving you my house even as a married woman.
DeletePoster is a walking red flag
DeleteAnon 20:35, GBAM!!!
DeleteWhat do men really want? They send you food - wahala. They ask you for food - wahala.
ReplyDeletePlease ask
DeleteMy2cent:
DeleteAs in 😅😂😂😂. I weak!
It's a tiring something.😁
DeleteI'm am very sure that this man would have also thought of other 'alarming reasons' assuming this lady had said 'oh your're hungry, ok..why don't you go figure out how to eat (something along that line)',, instead of bringing 6 dishes of meal for him to eat. Baba...e be like say na you gaan gaan get problem in your present relationship, no be lie!
DeleteChai Chineke Poster Ogini di! Which masculine characteristics again you dey see....Why not be friends with her and know her on a deeper level....These questions you are raising na wa oh....Is there something you are afraid of? Relax and just be friends for now....
ReplyDeleteAnd try to expand your notions and reasoning around dating women!!!
All the best
Dear poster, if you know you cannot be with a woman that earns more. Kindly break up now.
ReplyDeleteHonestly don't mess up her self esteem..
DeleteMy2cent:
DeleteAbi, he just keep walking, so as not to attribute everything to "is it because you are earning more than me" 🙄
So what exactly is the problem? You told her you were hungry and she sent assorted Nigerian delicacies to you.
ReplyDeleteNow you feel she is masculine because she innocently helped out? You are even already feeling inadequate that she earns more than you!!
Bro, are you for real??? If she were my sister, i'll tell her to flee as far as possible from you.
I am a man, but i can say for a fact that you are very, very big red flag🚩
And he comes of as fickle, uncultured and unworldy.
DeleteRed billboard.
DeleteLol, Oga!
DeleteRead hungry in context of craving for country home food.
Why won’t she have masculine traits, is she not in her late 30s and have been doing everything on her own all this time and has to know how to do it all. Just because she is able to manage herself in the world does not mean she has lost her femininity. You all want women who bring something to the table yet expect that she is going to bring that something without sacrifice. Mtsscchhwww
ReplyDeleteShe wasted her good food on you. I hope she is a BV and see this chronicle and find greener pastures to go into. If the food makes you uncomfortable simply tell her you appreciate her efforts but not to go out like that again. If portions of her personality makes you uncomfortable then please leave that woman alone and do not string her along. Her age, kindness, and bold nature all bother you so leave her alone. Someone else will find her. Women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s marry everyday. You met her in church not in the gutters of a slum, she will be just fine.
Toh thank you oh! They way they spew this masculinity and femininity thing…. So the woman should have kept herself poor while she was waiting for a husband so that when you finally arrive, you will use your money to lord it over her? That will be feminine enough for you I guess
DeleteHe told her he was hungry, because he hoped she'd prepare something. She did and it's a problem. If she didn't he'd be the one to say she no sabi cook. 🙄
DeleteLet’s assume she’s desperate to marry
ReplyDeleteWhat’s wrong with that
At least she’s honest with herself
If you’re interested go for it fully and she’ll appreciate you loving and wifing her when she was desperate for it
If you’re not interested, pls don’t collect another soup and do don’t friendship
Clear road so she can continue her search. It’s the kindest thing you can do
You see why they say men are confused beings bah. They go about shouting that they meet only amoteks and baddies now that don't bring anything to the table now this one has seen a lady of value he is scared.
ReplyDeleteNah dem amoteks really fit una. Please if her financial status is a problem for you kindly let her go before you will drag a lady down and infect her with your insecurities
What exactly do you men want???
ReplyDeleteNigerian men’s obsessive desire to dominate women. Your obsession with submission is appalling. I hope she stays away from u.
ReplyDeleteThe epidemic of insecure misogynistic control hungry ,financially abusive men who have no personality beyond mediocre funds
DeleteI totally understand where you are coming from. She came on too strong and seemed so eager to please. Her kind gesture, which may be well-meaning, is enough to scare off any man with the best intentions. You feel she secretly has an expectation she hopes you meet without verbalizing it.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for her, honestly, because it seems she doesn't know that at her age, every little gesture of hers would be mistaken and alluded to the fact that she wants marriage, and she isn't even helping matters. She sent off a desperation signal without realizing it, and it's enough to scare or make you feel you have to step up to the plate real quick.
You bring this here because you doubt that she wants to take it real slow, right? To you, her actions scream otherwise. Well, you are a man, so it's only natural you will definitely interpret things differently. You didn't even plead with her to cook for you, but she willingly did and went overboard with it.
Don't just write her off and start judging every aspect of her personality based on that singular act, except there was any other behavior she enacted that made you believe she could be domineering. Or is it because she earns more than you do, so you have conditioned your mind to become biased towards her? Because I don't see how financial disparity should be a problem in marriage; she doesn't even seem like someone who minds. But if you know it is going to be a problem for you in the future, kindly let her be.
Which desperation signal did she send? Abeg, you people should relax. People give good gifts/do big favours everyday. No desperation in this.
DeleteGaby is right abeg! The babe wasn't desperate but that is how the guy will see it. The babe flop big time,. You don't handle potential love interest with the same method you handle friends, colleagues etc. They are not even dating yet sef hian!!! He is hungry for local dishes and not broke. She should have given him address of local restaurant instead or Instagram vendors
DeleteThank you, Gaby.
DeleteYour comment is well balanced.
As a man, all you said are true.
Poster should read your comments and digest it very well.
Only a greedy man will lick free 6 pots of soups from woman or anybody without stepping back a foot.
Poster should only free himself of the Home country mindset and see if the woman too has freed herself. The rest should be an invitation to Stella and or any BV in their country of residence.
#the IsokoMan
💯💯💯 thanks for this perspective. I believe her intentions are genuine. She may have gone overboard but poster should at least appreciate the efforts.
DeleteAs always I always look forward to your comments. Well done ✅
Anon, you are welcome.
DeleteYou are right, Phoenix; she tried! But sometimes, some goodwill can have a counterproductive effect, and this right here is one of those times. He got overwhelmed, even though she never meant it like that.
I think the only snag was his complaint about her higher earnings. But let's not pretend like the stereotype about the idea of women out-earning men and not being submissive has not been entrenched in the minds of most for long and was recently reinforced by the current discourse in the internet space.
I noticed some BVs, both male and female, even reiterated that the moment a woman outearns a man, he is in trouble because of the sad experiences of people they witnessed. But suddenly, we are all acting shocked that he feels concerned and jittery. Who knows, he's probably formed his beliefs around that while ignoring the fact that it all boils down to the woman's personality, the man's maturity, and his understanding that people's experiences are different.
It takes a special breed of person to marry such a woman and not hold resentment at the littlest sign of imaginary feeling of being slighted. So if he knows deep down that such a union isn't for him, then I won't only advise he avoids a woman who earns more, but he also needs to avoid one who earns less, because what if, a few years down the line, she earns more than he does? Will he divorce her or try to frustrate her into resigning? He simply needs to marry a stay-at-home wife/mom who doesn't want to work or a woman who isn't ambitious and not the lady.
Someone he just met like three weeks ago. He doesn't even know her real age yet, just guessing. One pot is still manageable but six all at once. If the soup finish will she cook another six pans again and again. She did too much too soon.
DeletePoster, did you eat the soup?
Gaby has said it all
DeleteGaby, again, you scored well.
DeleteLet him find the kind of woman he wants. It is allowed.
Those of us who looked for 50/50 women could not find one.
We found higher earners who found us worthy of marriage but were also afraid we would not be able to take care of them - the reverse fear of Poster.
The uproar by women on the post is therefore a big surprise.
Even in the diaspora,you still have this type of mindset? Please end it.
ReplyDeleteHe left Nigeria but Nigeria didn't leave him.
DeleteScary mindset.
Archaic mindset o.
DeleteThere are men and women like that.
DeleteRemember the man's chronicle of a fully employed diaspora woman/wife who has two property abroad and two in Nigeria who still bill her husband for children candies, plenty pots under her bed and VV full of incisions?
Anon, 18:58 I remember
Deletebut I don't know why some do not bring feedbacks. I wonder what later happened to the man and his wife
I thought they said Nigerian men who live abroad don't think the way you are thinking abi you just relocated abroad ni?
ReplyDeleteShe sent you food and now it's a complain, what if she never sent you food you would have labelled her as being stingy.
I see no issue here at all but seems you are intimidated or threatened by her already if that's the case then let her go because you are likely to cut her wings in marriage
It's in DNA .😎
DeleteShe may not be desperate but just nice. I have a friend that can be this nice and go extra mile to make others happy even if she is not part of that happiness.
ReplyDeleteShe probably wanted to surprise you. Don’t overthink it cos she may have ordered from a caterer and not necessarily cooked them. All the same an unmarried 40 year old man is a red flag for me sha. She wants to take it slow so that’s a good thing. Take time and pray about it. If you can’t cope with her earning ability or independence then please let her be.
ReplyDelete16:42
DeleteWhat about an unmarried woman at 35 years and above? A Red Banner, Billboard, Sky, or Ground as the age goes up by 5 years?
We need to realise that we all come from different backgrounds, have different expectations and have passed different routes in life.
I blame the poor woman for sending the meals to you. Yeye man
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣 e pain me pass you.
DeleteUna wahala too much walahi
ReplyDeleteIf to say she no give you, you for talk say she too stingy, now she carry food give you, problem!
Oga biko if you know you dey sure, free her ASAP, ahn ahn
Posted you need to encourage your self esteem. You seem to not have a lot of it.
ReplyDeleteBro you are insecure and toxic. Pls leave her alone. She did what she did out of kindness. You seem like a user. Why did you stylishly ask for food? If she was masculine would she have sent it? Pls resolve ur issues in therapy before seeking a relationship. Its clear you have insecurity issues you need to resolve. Are u not 40 and looking to settle? So whats wrong if she wants the same. If she didnt send food u wud have sent another type of chronicle. Honestly truth is ur not man enough for any woman right now
ReplyDeletePoster you need to unlearn some unpleasant Nigerian mentality, you need therapy first not a relationship talk less of marriage
DeleteWhen they say 40 plus men are red flags, the poster just affirmed it for me. So because a woman did a kind deed, she will be domineering and she is desperate. Wonders shall never end.
ReplyDeleteAbeg send the dishes of food, ah ah! What is wrong with you? Just joking.
ReplyDeleteTake Stella' advise.
Poster you are wicked yes I said it,hope the lady is a bv ,gets to see this and leave you. That’s how I became a baby mama because I met someone who was in his late forties and me in my middle thirties,thinking that we are both on the same boat only for the guy to leave me and marry someone else his reason being as the ones you mentioned 😀😀😀😀. May God save that lady from you because you will leave after stringing her along .
ReplyDeleteI pray she walk away without looking back.
DeleteHmmm!!
ReplyDeleteEverybody should just do what pleases them for this small life wey we dey.
Some people are just impossible.🥴
Because... The confuse is confusing mehhn. 😢
ReplyDeleteThat's the reason it's not good to be extra nice as a lady to a man, especially if you're in your late thirties, any act of your niceness to a man will be taken for desperation.
ReplyDeleteThank you o! I think that's what a bv said up there. If only woman know that men don't see their kindness as kindness but desperation after a certain age.
DeleteA nice person cannot stop being nice cos of some insecurity men. She is nice, she decides to help a friend who needed nice meal bit look at what the man is saying.
DeleteThe poster is a Very confused beggy beggy gender with a touch of inferiority complex.
ReplyDeleteYou beg for food, a feast was prepared for you and you're tagging the lady as "desperate and masculine. Talking like your pronoun is not HE.
You better work on your difficult
and I know it all attitude before devil package his favorite patient cousin for you.
You wanted Soup she sent it to you
ReplyDeleteAs she come dey nice now
You begin see her as desperate
Is she not the one that told you to take things slowly .
If she did not send the soup now you will still say she's is not wife material
Why Are you Confusing yaself..
Hello iya Boys
You have insecurity issues, if she didn't send you real Nigerian food you will complain that she cannot cook but now she sent you food she is desperate. You that is 40 you are not desperate because you are a man right?
ReplyDeleteYou have already drawn conclusions that she is desperate, she earn more than you do, bla bla bla. You didn't even allow your friendship to grow, get to know her well she see if she is desperate, if she will respect you and if she will even avvept to marry you. Calm down and enjoy the friendship and see how things will unfold.
Once any lady hit 28 years, you see some insecurity men will be shouting she is desperate. Abeg pack well.
Poster you already have a Warped Mentality. Free your mind, get to be friends with her. It's just too early for all this your drama.
ReplyDelete@Teacher NK exactly.
DeleteThat the world is bad does not mean we don't have good people. She has told you to take it slowly. I tell people before you get into a relationship especially if you hard relationship that didn't end well, take some time & heal from the wound, forgive yourself, make amends. Tell yourself the truth about where you are right now & what you want, this way you can start on a clean slate. It is better to build friendship & let it give birth to a relationship.
From the beginning I make.more money than my husband but that does not make me disrespect him, I don't know how to ask him for money, we both know what we earn & what we spend in the house, when the month end he credit my account, I also add to what he gives me. At the beginning of the year, we plan what the project for that year would be & start to save towards it. No matter what happens we don't shout at each other or sleep with anger, we talk about it settle it apologise where necessary & move on. As a rule there is no third party between us, not our families, friends, Church or anybody, God has not allowed us have problem he has not granted us wisdom to solve. Set your mind right, forget about what you've heard or seen women do, yours can be different.
Pls do not confuse generosity with desperation, some ladies are naturally good. She has told u to take easy, why not do that and be observant.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteI beg you to be kind to her. My cousin often advises finding out if your partner has the same goals as you when embarking on a serious and meaningful relationship. Some people decide to court someone quickly and determine that it should be brief and straight to the point, while others take longer because of their personality, their prior experiences, or their fear of being committed.
I believe you're second-guessing and overanalysing this woman without checking to see if your perspectives line up. You come out as more desperate than she does based on what you wrote. People should enjoy their relationships as a way of understanding their partners better. Intentionality is key to a serious relationship - it shouldn't be overly serious.
It's excellent to think back on your emotions and worries. Rather than demonstrating desperation, her sending you food could just be an act of kindness and concern. Although it's admirable that you regard yourself as the provider, your insecurities regarding her income call into question this. She doesn't have to undercut your position to make more money. For liberal males, seeing their women in better financial standing is a source of pride. Your worry reflects a conventional understanding of how modern mid-class marriages work. To comprehend her objectives and deal with your fears, be honest with her about your worries and emotions.
Women with masculine characteristics don't necessarily have to be bossy. You, as a man, also have feminine traits. Many women who possess these qualities can nevertheless be caring and encouraging companions. It's clear from her counsel to proceed cautiously that she appreciates moderation and a thoughtful reassurance that you both want the same thing on the same page. In my opinion, that is what a woman means when she says, 'Let's take it slow'. This takes me back to my original point: it's important to comprehend her perspective on a committed and healthy relationship.
Pay attention to how she makes you feel and whether you can imagine a future built on respect and understanding shared between you two. Meeting other ladies is acceptable until you feel secure enough to commit. To create a solid foundation, communicate honestly and trust your gut. Make sure your dreams line up with your aspirations, life, and objectives. The decision to marry should not be made solely based on feelings and emotions.
Consider whether you could live up to her expectations of you in her absence and whether she could do the same for you. I adore ladies who enter into relationships financially empowered because it serves as a filter for insecure men. I'll close with a comment from my cousin: every relationship has a motive; once you understand what that motive is, you can make an informed decision. So find your purpose and decide.
If only Stella will post.
ReplyDeleteComments from Female blog visitors are mostly stereotypical and tending to the insulting. Some even say an unmarried man at 40 is a red flag. If the same is said of an unmarried woman at 50, okay 45 or 40 or 35, what would you all say of her? Do we all have the same life journeys?
Again, here is why some male Bvs say that a man writing in for advice may not get what he seeks onblog if he is not discerning to sift the grain(s) from the chaff of cacophonous snide and sarcastic comments from female Bvs.
It appears we forget that a man at 40 may be getting into his first real romantic relationship due to his pathway in life. Instead of gently guiding him on, we talk to or on him based on our 10 to 15 years of unmarried serially broken romantic relationships or marriage experiences
A woman who seeks advice on how to cause a fight with her boyfriend so she can rely on that to go complete her already started marriage rites with another man is counseled in cool or jovial tones. But a man who asks for clarifying guidance from mostly women on how to handle a woman gets mostly insults.
A question for the married female BVs on this post: When was the last time you set a full dinner table for your husbands on a work day? Okay, what about a lunch/dinner table on a Sunday? A similar or related question was asked here recently on a BEP. We know the answers some of us gave that day. Yet you lampoon a man who stepped back when a woman sent him 6 pots of different soups on a simple request for home made food!
We should not forget that no chronicle tells the full facts of a matter. This chronicle is not an exception. The man only expressed his understanding of the vibes and non-verbal feedback in the relationship. He may be wrong or he may be right.
And yes. There is nothing wrong in a man seeking a submissive woman or in a man seeking to be the sole provider or major provider in his home or both. The real issue is what he does with the woman's submission or how he handles his duty of provision in the marriage. There are submissive wives who are the brain boxes of their marriages, and most of them will not even let anybody know they are the CinC of the marriage. There are men who provide all and still do more than some of your husbands you wear ranking trousers with in your homes.
Marriage has no unbreakable rules. What works for a couple to their fulfillment and in marriage and purpose in life is what is best for them.
Dear Poster, if you were my younger brother, here is what I would have told you -
You are old enough to know what you want in your matrimonial home or your life. Unselfishly go for it. All your concerns are valid. Resolve them in your courtship. That is the essence of courtship anyway. And Be prepared to pay the price on the tags on them. Nothing changes a man's life for good or bad as marriage. Luckily, you may be in a country where pre-nuptial agreements and other legal marital arrangements are permitted. It is better you make full use of all of them to secure yourself and to assure any woman you move on with.
Best wishes.
Mr. Mann
Your fears are valid. No one knows the true intention of these people. Just take things slow like she said. The truth will be revealed in no time
ReplyDeleteWhat do men want in this life. She is kind, you call it masculinity and desperation. She acts hard to get, you call it pride. Wahala
ReplyDeletePoster, you really need reorientation of your mind set. The lady in my view was just being nice and kind to you. Some people are naturally like that. I believe your self esteem is at play here. You need to work on yourself. Pls, just stay away from such relationship because you will always find fault in whatever she does because of inferiority complex.
ReplyDeletePoster I pray she meet a good man without these your truckload of insecurities over food ,and you have concluded she has masculine traits at your big age , that means by the time she offer to pay bills as you guys are advocating 50:50 you go japa abeg comot for raod you don't know what you want
ReplyDeleteWhich woman does not seek a submissive husband?
ReplyDeleteYimmu.
Dear Kings, be wiser. change your marriage lingo.
Copy and adapt women checklist for marriage and marriage quest vocabulary.
Las las, after being shortchanged and stripped bare in marriages in their search for submission by wives, men always find it is the same submission that their wives sought too and had them in all since the marriage began
Baba here wants to carry the sole provider role in his marriage in exchange for submission and ogaship (lol) in the diaspora O?
Dear Kings, .... (abeg make I run go before ...)
Inferior low thinking man talk
DeletePoster please work on your insecurities so that you don't frustrate someone's daughter by misunderstanding her actions and misinterpreting her acts of kindness.
ReplyDeleteThe lady sef na waa!!! Who send her message? 6 pan of soups😂😂
ReplyDelete🤣 true oh that's much nau
DeleteBut some people are that nice
6pots of soup is too much please. What in the name of 'caring woman' is she trying to show in just few days of getting to know each other? Six good pots😲
ReplyDelete