Hmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
COMPLICATED SITUATION
COMPLICATED SITUATION
My only brother has vowed to kill my mother and I.
When we lost our dad 10 years ago. My brother who is a graduate refused to work. He insisted on travelling abroad as most of his friends are outside the country.
My mother forced me to collect loan from my company and we sent him abroad. This guy went abroad and started misbehaving. All the money he earned went into women, drinking and smoking.
When we lost our dad 10 years ago. My brother who is a graduate refused to work. He insisted on travelling abroad as most of his friends are outside the country.
My mother forced me to collect loan from my company and we sent him abroad. This guy went abroad and started misbehaving. All the money he earned went into women, drinking and smoking.
During my traditional wedding, I paid his expenses to come home in order to represent my dad. My dad's brothers showed us shege during his burial. Story for another day.
He came back empty. Looking worn out and old. My mum and I agreed that he would not go back again. We collected another loan and gave him to start something.
We tried Match making him several times but it did not work. One day he threatened to kill my mum for stopping him from selling the only property our dad left for us. I refused to give him the papers which were with me. I know he will not use the money for anything meaningful.
My mum used all sorts of blackmail on me till I gave in to this plan. We sold the property and gave him majority of the money. One day he woke up and said he is traveling.
This guy travelled and refused to communicate with anyone for 5 months. My mum was on and off hospital due to high blood pressure. She was literally sleeping in church praying for this only son.
One day he called with so many excuses. He knows we love him so much and he can get away with virtually every thing.
Let me take us back small. When my dad died. His brother and sister treated my mum badly. My mums people were not recognized during the burial so we decided to cut them off.
This my brother went back to drugs and women. Each time he calls home is to ask for momey which we don't have.
One day he called with so many excuses. He knows we love him so much and he can get away with virtually every thing.
Let me take us back small. When my dad died. His brother and sister treated my mum badly. My mums people were not recognized during the burial so we decided to cut them off.
This my brother went back to drugs and women. Each time he calls home is to ask for momey which we don't have.
My mum likes doing video call with him. He can go for months without picking our call. Each time he picks my mums video call,he is always in a mess. Who has had this issue or had someone in this kind of situation?. How did you solve it.?
He is the only sibling I have.
My father's people don't want to see us. I heard my husband tell someone he married into a family of mad people. I am yet to have a child.
God abeg, which kind Chronicle be this? First Off....whats all this my fathers people, my fathers people? Cant you make headway in life without this fathers people? you sound childish,Can you move on already?....secondly, you especially and your mum, enabled your brothers behaviour, so why are you complaining? what did you expect?Did you think a miracle would happen and a dog would lay an egg at childbirth.?
As for your husband, what did he see that made him conclude that he married into a family of mad people......Since you have no contact with your fathers people, he must be referring to your mum and your brother......wetin dem do am?
You are in an all round complicated situation and I dunno what to say...
Why do you people want to suffer someone daughter to marry your brother knowing his mental state?
ReplyDeleteI believe what is happening is not ordinary...that family is bad.
Go to Zion Ministry for your family liberation.
DOZZYBEST.
Stella,
DeletePoster's husband's comment may be based on the fact that Poster and her mother are doing the same thing and expecting different result from a person who has not changed.
The comment may also be based on facts not disclosed in the chronicle.
Dear Poster, pity your husband and your unborn child, and do what you know you need to do.
Best wishes
Mr. Mann
As per her "father's people, her father's people" that may be to justify why she and her mother want the brother to succeed at all costs for revenge show off. It may also be to present herself, mother as victims.
So annoying..is the wife supposed to be a rehabilitation centre. And I agreed with Stella, both the sister and mum enabled him.
DeleteO na alu olu,gwo gwo💪
Delete@DOZZY it is ordinary. Many people with an only son , especially the Igbos do enable this type of bad character. It is common with people that has an only son
DeletePoster, it's not ordinary. Prayer is the key. A genuine pastor can come and do liberation prayer in your father's house.
DeleteYou can connect to NSPPD or ZIOB Ministry. Even you too, you need serious prayer, not ordinary.
One more thing, poster, you need to rise above that your level, shame the enemy. Tell them you have a God that's bigger than everyone and everything.
DeleteEvery family with a family member who is mentally ill, on drugs or otherwise lacking in some major way is always trying to marry them off. Whether they are doing so to get the burden off their hands and make it someone else's or they feel that marriage may help turn their life around, they always do it. And they will sell their rotten apple like they are gold. The amount of lies they tell in propping up the individual to make them marketable is mind boggling. Seen it and heard of it.
DeleteDear poster it is not ordinary go to any length and ask questions!
DeleteThis life is not for the weak hearted, make a move before they wipe out your family
Poster you and ur mother are the enablers.. Continue
Delete@poster, please join NSPPD fire altar prayers by 7am every weekday. Drop your brother’s name at the fire altar, every evil yoke over your family will be broken!!! Search for NSPPD prayer links on YouTube, Instagram or Facebook.
DeleteYou're in a complicated situation, first all you and your mum should focus on yourselves and leave your brother alone , since he decided to be useless let him take whatever he sees.. as for your husband maybe he said such thing because of what is happening in your family
ReplyDeleteNo one with he/ her real sense pray to be useless my dear.
DeleteBennycoco so they should kill themselves because he refuses to be useful abi..they should leave him and focus on themselves..
DeleteI'm sorry to say this, but your mum is an enabler. And you say she forced you to collect loan from your company? 🙄. I believe your brother is an adult, you and your Mum should allow him live his life the way he wants to. He knows even if he stops communicating with you guys, and he decides to reach out again, you will welcome him. How long is this gonna keep happening?
ReplyDelete@Candy, until he prospers so they can use his prosperity to do "ohonyin" to her Father's people.
DeleteWonderful world.
Poster May Jesus fix.
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
Your brother is nothing but a spoilt brat, probably spoiled cuz he is the only son.
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard but you guys have to stop enabling him, so he can take responsibility for his life.
Only son. Hianest!
DeletePoster is only daughter too, Right?
But she does not recognise it yet.
She has chosen to succeed vicariously because over here, women do not prosper for their matrimonial family. Women prosper only for their paternal family.
Would she take a loan for her husband to prosper?
As she is taking the loans, who is sustaining her?
Husband? Balance of her salary?
Yet she must have been surprised by her husband's comment on her family.
15:37 they don't treat their only sons the way they do to an only son
DeleteYou can't compare how people with an only daughter treat their only son. They place their only sons in high esteem than they do to their only daughters and that's why they enable their bad behaviors.
DeleteYour brother is nothing but a spoilt brat, probably spoiled cuz he is the only son.
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard but you guys have to stop enabling him, so he can take responsibility for his life.
Sometimes we need to learn the hard way that applies to your mum and brother. tell your mum you don't want to have anything to do with your brother and if she still tries to force the matter on you, threaten to cut her off too. You also need to concentrate on building your nuclear family
ReplyDeleteExactly. Allow the boy to find feet. When he sees that nobody cares about him, he will come back to his senses. Just let him be but keep praying for God to arrest him.
DeleteStella, the poster's husband said what he said because of how irresponsible his brother in law is.
ReplyDeleteSee the way the poster described her brother! A drug addict that came from abroad with nothing and looking old and unkempt.
You people wanted to matchmake your very irresponsible brother? You wanted him to destroy another person's daughter?
Your mom is responsible for his lifestyle. He aided his behaviors.
Someone that's already threatening to kill his mom. Just pray he doesn't carry out his threat.
You people should be very careful around him.
The mother is still praying for her son that wants to kill her to come back home and kuku "kill" her.
DeleteCan you imagine?
DeleteChai.
ReplyDeleteI pray that Jesus will fix it.
AMEN 🙏
Dear Gentle Poster, what are you and your mother doing? Do you realize he is an adult and not a 10 years old boy? Your mother overindulged him a lot, reason why he is misbehaving...What is the nonsense about borrowing money and all...
ReplyDeleteAnd if you believe your brother travelled abroad then you can believe that an aeroplane can land on the sea...To top it up, you guys are doing RISK TRANSFER for another girl to inherit an irresponsible person?!....I am sorry to say your husband is right, because you guys are doing the same thing expecting a different result from your brother....
Even oyibo said that you should allow sleeping dogs lie!! Can you focus on your life for once and tell your mother never to blackmail you whenever you want to hands off from your brother? Take your stance in your own life, you can never solve some kin family wahala.....
Leave your brother alone! Leave your father's family alone!! It is the way you guys carried yourselves that made them to lose all respect for you...Stop calling him, block him if possible, change your location and chart your own life course....
All the best...
na prayers you need and nothing else
ReplyDeletethat your brother will never change from his bad attitude
you can help me from far but stop giving him huge money. Him and your mother should never know how much you have in your account, else you will still give in to their pressure.
First thing is that you don’t give him money anymore until he shows some seriousness. My cousin was in this same boat and that’s what we all did, nobody gave him money and he eventually came home. Now nobody is giving him any extra money apart from normal upkeep and paying his rent so he can’t buy drugs till he shows he’s serious and we can do something permanent for him.
ReplyDeleteAll these loans you take how do you pay up? Is hubby involved? Maybe that explains the family of mad folks amongst others.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder the Bible says " spare the rod and spoil the child" he was spared when he should be disciplined, now see the outcome.
ReplyDeleteYou and your mum should be careful around him, you don't know what he's planning to do next.
I pray Jesus fix things up for your family
Most mothers are enablers when it comes to their sons.
ReplyDeletePoster just delete your brother from your mind and live your life, he is a lost cause and no amount of prayers can change him until he decides to do so himself.
This is such a sad tale, I low-key just wish it's not real; As well, It's so much easier to point fingers when it's not your ish. Whatever has happened has happened, who is at fault won't change it, so right now, that girl ain't in need of "who did what" she just needs a way out of it all. Here's a subtle recommendation for beginners
ReplyDelete1. If you are in proximity to your brother, check him into rehab ASAP
2. Enable the prayer warriors you can to engage in warfare prayers, both for yourself and him. this thing is real spiritual, not ordinary at all
3. Go get help by talking with as many people as you can including people from your village. They will tell you what you never know before
Adaji
Good point Adaji
DeleteCall for an intervention and send your brother for rehabilitation, also visit MFM prayer city for family deliverance
ReplyDeletePoster, your mum spared the rod and spoilt the child. What is left of him is a product of how he got away with anything from childhood. Focus on repairing your image with your husband and having children. As for your brother, if you all still care about him, send him to a medical rehabilitation institute for people with personal disorders. Stop taking multiple loans for him. I hope you all find closure soon.
ReplyDeleteIts obvious he was badly raised. (Sorry poster but that's d truth) who gives in to their children's unreasonable demands. That's not love but weakness.
ReplyDeleteThe only help he needs now is to be checked into a rehab. And I wonder how that is possible over there since none of you are with him.
Even if you were, you both have lost your rights to make him do something good, since he's always being in indulged.
Now he's a full grown adult. Only God and therapy can save him.
Addiction is a strong thing and I hope he gets over it. Sad that he's also irresponsible alongside the addictions. Pray he doesn't get into crime, when there's no more funds.
In d meantime, try and face your marriage and build a good home. When grandkids come, It might help to distract your mom.
Lastly, do not give in to any request from him anymore. Neither send any money. If your mom can't stand and do the right thing, you should.
For father"s people, leave them out of this. They ain't responsible for how your brother turned out. Neither can you blame them for making you and your mom indulge your brother. There are many orphans with extreme poor background that have made it to become successful, well behaved and responsible. Face the real issue.
Poster, focus on yourself and your fertility journey, this one your husband is already talking somehow. Tell your mum to stop worrying about him but pray more. Remember, it could be spiritual, only sons acting up isn't unusual where there are jealous uncles.
ReplyDeleteStop pandering to anything he says, he needs tough love and prayers, not pampering, tell your mother to stop worrying and pursue the matter spiritually, even if he is spoilt, God can turn his life around. It is well.
Still wondering why you will be giving a grown man living abroad money from Nigeria. Can you see how you both contributed to this?
ReplyDeleteYou both need to let him face the consequences of his actions. If you continue aiding him, what you are afraid of, will happen.
And you need to talk sense into your mom and continue doing until she sits up too.
In all this, try pay attention to your home oooo. While you stay praying. Just lock up. It will help the situation
Your brother is an adult, let him take responsibility for his action, your mother is endorsing his behavior, go blunt with him and let him know you guys are not going to cater to him henceforth.
ReplyDeleteLet me tell the worst that can happen to him, he'll die and yes, he'll not be the first person to die in this life, if he chooses, he can also change and live.
As for you, you didn't tell us how long you've been TTC. You'll carry your baby soon by God's grace, it is well.
Went you born your enemy. As a child
ReplyDeleteWetin you write? You sure say you no be this poster brother so? You no sound normal rara😁
DeleteThank God all those matchmaking never worked. You try giving yourself peace of mind so you can conceive and give your mum new joy. .
ReplyDeleteHow has he even managed to stay out of jail with his drug addiction abroad?
ReplyDelete"We tried Match making him several times but it did not work"
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine what a lady wrote.
As if a wife is a rehabilitation facility.
You and your mum are still pampering him and you are seeking for advice.
You people are not ready yet.
"We tried Match making him several times but it did not work"
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine what a lady wrote.
As if a wife is a rehabilitation facility.
You and your mum are still pampering him and you are seeking for advice.
You people are not ready yet.
You see this situation the best thing is to remove your eye it's not easy but try but the problem is your mum cos a woman will never leave or foegther offspring, but in some cases get stone heart that's how one woman was going up and down he has three sons all of them wahala,they will steal she will borrow and bail them, they will sell her properties she was going up and down in churches praying, at the end she died they re still living their lives.
ReplyDeleteMy own grandma her first son then was wahala too she removed her eyes and told herself as far no be only him he born she ll not die because of him na my mum and other girls and we her grandchildren took care of her till she died.
Cases like these the best you ll do is to remove your heart and eyes as you re married focus on your pregnancy journey hold on to God and sort yourself, una don try is it when you sell your kidney or kill yourself that ll face your life, advice your mum too no be every seed person plant dey yield fruit.
Pls face your life I'm not even happy that your husband is giving side talks cos of his behaviour pray for him from afar buy no kill yourself, and for linking him with any lady he is man enough to find a woman by himself, women are not LAWMA people shalom
You and your mother enabled your brother from when he was very young.Now you are reaping the consequences.May God help you and your family to change your brother.
ReplyDeleteStop enabling him by giving him money, I don't think it's spiritual problem, it's just irresponsibility and laziness, anybody that graduates and refuses to work, not that he doesn't see work is a chronic irresponsible lazy person.
ReplyDeleteLet him figure out his life by himself, and if he doesn't, that's his life, maybe he has been spoiled from childhood as an only son, because that's what some of African mothers do, always enabling nonsense from only son so that he won't die.
Concentrate on your marriage and leave him alone.
You both have Only Son Syndrome. Your brother needs rehab and therapy there are numerous programs in the US absolutely free that can help him. You need to focus on your marriage and life. Yes, you have a responsibility to your mother but you also have one to yourself and your husband. Your brother's life has consumed you to the point that you are stressed out and can't even conceive. Take back your life!
ReplyDeleteDo for your mother what you are able to but stop discussing your brother when you see her, stop making him the object that you all rotate your lives around. He has saddled you in debts and you have not seen any return on that investment. Forget about him. Nurture your marriage and put your focus on your home. If you need to improve your finances work on that. Stop spending money on your brother, if your mother wants to peel out her money for him, that is her prerogative, but stop getting pulled into his world. You have impoverished yourself for him not once, but twice that is enough for any sibling to do for another. Move on. Stop discussing your mother and brother affairs with your husband, whatever he knows has tarnished his mindset of you all. Find other topics of discussion and start talking about your prosperity and future together, pursuing your own dreams as a family unit. The statement your husband made to whomever is not good and you should use it as an alarm bell to shape up and get back in focus.
Sorry You and your Mum enabled him. He's threatening to kill someone??? Hmmmm, You guys better start watching your back.
ReplyDeleteYou better face your nuclear family.
Poster you have got to pray.The devil is very wise.he is a spirit and uses the bodies and images of people to destroy others.your brother's ordeal is orchestrated by the devil inorder to ruin him.pls pray for him.
ReplyDeleteAlso stop discussing much of your family issues to your hubby who may gradually start getting scared of your extended family.
Sometimes,when you can't change somethings,it's best you leave them to God and be positive with your thoughts.That miracle which your heart desires will manifest like a dream.
God bless you.
DeleteStop taking loans on his behalf, You guys aren't helping him at all, And pls don't marry a wife for this guy, Do you guys have an intention of killing someone's daughter? Na wa oo.
ReplyDeletePls take it to God in prayers, Your brother needs both physical and spiritual rehabilitation.
A woman is now a rehabilitation center for badly raised man. You cannot help who don't know he needs help. All your efforts over him will amount to nothing until he himself realizes he has a problem and ready to help himself. I pray God come through for your family as this may not be ordinary.
ReplyDeleteRegarding your family circumstances, I apologise. It sounds really difficult, especially with the threats and emotional stress you've described.
ReplyDeleteIt appears that when you and your mother failed to establish limits with your brother, things went bad. Perhaps informing him that his actions are wrong and would have repercussions would have been beneficial. Don't fight over every issue; instead, concentrate on the important things. If a problem just makes things worse, it's not worth the worry.
It's important to be confident in identifying and expressing boundaries when having these conversations. This can help to defuse tension in your talks with your brother.
In addition to looking into counselling or other treatments for your brother's rehabilitation, think about attempting to reconcile with other family members. Reduce the amount of time you spend with him if it stresses you out. You have some control over how much interaction you have with him, but not over what he does. Show compassion because it can result in more understanding and effective problem-solving.
Keep your emotional health safe. It's acceptable to keep your distance from harmful behaviour. Make self-care and mental wellness a priority. The health issue your mother is facing emphasises how important this is. Though his actions are unchangeable, you can decide how to react. During this difficult period, look after both yourself and your mother. You have given your best, not until you spill your blood. Focus on your marriage. May God illuminate your shadows.
Please, no one should come and smoke under my comment. If you think you know it, go and copy your own there without writing out your thoughts on the issues raised by the concerned poster. Awon eyan mosquito!
Awww mothers and their sons
ReplyDeleteIt’s not easy to write off a son or show tough love
Sister it’s not easy to hear this but you must focus on yourself
Do you want to have a child? Have you tried ivf?
Have you spoken to your husband about what you heard he said? You’re clearly unhappy about it and should let him know
Many people have one sibling or child that’s not doing well. Many of us cover our own. He’s abroad. Let him stay there
You face your life
My brother is towing this path, he claimed he was in camp 2 weeks ago, oya send us pictures nah??? Wossaaiii
ReplyDeleteHe sent us one yeye edited nonsense, cropped out the face of the real person in the picture and inserted his face. I challenged him after seeing it and told him to do a video call with me, he refused and stopped picking my calls.
Okay camp is over now, where were you posted to?? He said camp officials told some of them to remain in camp because there is no PPA to post them to in akwa ibom. 🤣😂
Na sit down dey look I dey oooo.
My mum is forever supporting him, enabling him and forever in his corner. She is giving me attitude at the moment because I refused to reach out to him, she is saying I should be the big one and call him. NEVER
PP I still love you as a big sister should love her younger brother, whichever path you choose is on you, all I owe you is prayers and I pray for you everyday.
Una don raise una brother badly they find who to blame.take responsibility.
ReplyDeleteWhen we tell una una dey always feel woke.
Poster all you need is prayers,your brother isn't doing himself but the hand work of the devil.... I'm not good at writing but let me try.I have a friend,her brother was a PA to one politician,from my State but different local government,this my friend brother was in controled of everythings this man (politician)has due to his sincerity and loyalty,my friend and her brother where staying with this man(politician)so my friend brother decided to get married, brought a lady from his village home to introduce to his oga,unknown to him the lady was carrying another man's child (pregnant)when she came according to my friend the say lady tried all she could to have s*x with her brother but my friend brother kicked against sex before marriage because he was into church (born again) so one of the woman working at the man(politician) house jokingly told my friend "Bella fit your sister oooo"my friend declined immediately they weren't Sisters but her brother's wife to be,my friend informed her brother what the woman said,so the next morning the lady was summoned for questioning and she accepted carrying another man's child (pregnant) she started begging my friend brother to accept the pregnancy but he declined such abomination that he can't accept another man's blood, that's where my friend brother problems started,that lady mother told my friend brother she will deal with him for refusing to accept her daughter with the pregnancy,my friend's brother was brought to nothing, everything he has went down with drink,he was sent back to his village because of drink,back in the village he was half death, feeding and sleeping inside the gutters,my friend was called by her village people to come look for a solution or prepare to bury his brother,she travel home took the brother to a native doctor that cured him, he's happily married now with one kid, poster look for a solution for your brother,you got married and neglected your uncles,your brother stood as your dad when you have uncle tell me why they won't come after your family?this are happening,the world is wicked.
ReplyDeleteSMH!
DeleteThe poster was always talking about her family to show that she has no other family except this her brother.
ReplyDeletePoster focus more on your journey to conceive. Some people don't have brothers and relatives yet they are surviving. Focus more on yourself for now. You have tried for him.
Everything you have mentioned regarding your brother points to chronic drug addiction.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have to finish reading before I concluded on this.
Drug abuse/addiction does not answer to prayer and fasting, neither does it answer to your mum's tears, emotional pep talks or outbursts but to rehabilitation!
Look up and contact Dr Tony Rapu's foundation. David folaranmi foundation also deals with drug abuse rehab.
Also contact your pastor or whatever local support system you have to intervene in this matter (NOT your father's family as the relationship seems fracture)
In the meantime, make sure he does not have access to cash or properties to sell to feed his addiction and continue to pray earnestly for him.
Goodluck.
The honest truth sis. Your mum spoilt her son silly. That's the consequences of her actions unfortunately
ReplyDeleteI pray for Restoration Unpon The Life Of Your Brother 🙏🙏🙏
ReplyDeleteLet The Mercy Of God Fall on Him🙏
Let Their be Peace Upon him🙏🙏
And May The Hand Of God Touch him🙏🙏 and He will feel The Presence Of The Most High🙏🙏
Hello iya boys
Someone that is yet to even know his purpose in life you people want to force him to start a family. That's not possible.
ReplyDeleteHe needs help himself, not a woman. Looks like you guys enabled him now he has turned to a dried fish that cannot be bent.
If he can allow you guys to take him to a rehabilitation center
I stopped reading after you said you tried to match make him. You’re very evil for wanting anybody to marry your useless brother
ReplyDelete