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MARRIED TO A LAST BORN

This is about your post on the disadvantages and advantages of marrying a last born.
Stella, my husband, is the last born of his mother and father. Siblings of five.two men and three women.
This man is so so everything opposite i thought i married. He doesn't have a mind of his own, he let's his family meddled in our life decisions that even concern our children, down to even the names we name our kids. He is a very st**pd and foolish man.
I wish i could turn back the hands of time ,i will not even let someone like him be a family friend. Talk more of a spouse!!!!!!!!!

He is controlling
He is manipulative
He is toxic
He is disrespectful
He is stingy
He is a non chalant father
But he is not lazy. In fact, he likes being a suffer head for his family members, where everyone still sends him on errand while he still juggle his work. He disgusts me so much now. I can't leave him because i don't want to be separated from my children ,plus the fact that i am jobless and cannot fend for them even if i decides to run away with them!
Marrying a last born experience has been nothing short of disadvantages to my life.
He is so insensitive ,unassuming and very careless and childish. Eleven years of marriage and he still throws wet towel on the bed. He still remove his clothes and fling it or drops it on the ground instead of him to simply put it on the laundry basket in the same room.
He is very caring and loving towards any family member that will give him and damned towards people like me and his kids that have no shishi to give him.( i use to help him when i was working with some foreign NGO's) but ever since money no dey from my side ,it is one insult to another. I no blame him, i blame myself for even replying his greetings that led to a marriage many years ago.
He is an utter spoilt suffer head. I said suffer head because i have never seen a human being as confused and loves the hard life than the soft one.
I can go on and on and on....
Having to share a space with him is the most stressful thing for me now. Like ,i dread waking up to him,to his face ,his presence. I have been stylishly living in my kids room for months now, while slowly removing my things from the room we share. He doesn't even notice because he is so careless and very insensitive!
God forbid his type to even manifest in my entire lineage to come.
This marriage thing with him is choking me and i still have to be swallowing it. Where will i start from?
I am a first born married to a spoilt suffer head last born. Stella, e choke!

Stella, may i also that ?He will be 40 yrs old this year but still seats in front of the tv watching kids cartoons and laughing like a hyena.  F**lish man.

He doesn't know how to pamper his wife and kids infact he shouts and disregards us. But he can be very playful and sweet towards his nieces and nephews.  Even toward their domestic staff.

I look at him and thoughts of regret filled me. Oh,how i wish .i looked at him and saw embodiments of my life mistake.i looked at him and wished we didn't have kids together so that i will just wake up one morning and walk away. FREELY!

I am being saddled here with a boy trapped in a man's body. Whenever he opens all his 30 something teeth and be laughing like an idiot i feel like smashing his whole face with a very heavy metal! Many times i think i am losing my sanity. I cry and laugh the same time. God help me insha Allah

He is so so insecure.

Whenever i managed to start small business at home this man will initially be supportive(i don't know if he is faking) then boom ,any slight misunderstanding we have with me demanding to be regarded small,this man will change it for me and he will carry my goods and go and throw away or give it out . I have seen shege with this boy/man.

My own prayer now is to get a good paying job that will be taking me out of this house for hours everyday.  So that i will not always stay here and start nurturing thoughts of mu***ring someone!

I look ok physical but i am mentally messed up! Depression is like a water to me .its constant. I get into depression and come out again on my own with God's  help by vigorously praying.

To show you how manipulative this man is, he is voicing up and down that he is ready to set up another business for me but it seems i am not interested.  Yes, i am intentionally not interested in any business he wants to set up for me at home because i know it is a trap if the business must be at home! You know how controlling people wants to keep you in one place and at their mercy? So that any slight misunderstanding he will throw out my wares again and again and again!

If he is REALLY TRUTHFUL about setting up business for me let him get me a shop in the public! Where whenever his madness starts and he is throwing out my wares its the public people that will help me deal with him!

I have not even talked about his mother and the very negative role she is playing in my marriage! Wicked woman! That one, i make sure i made myself very scarce for her .that's how i am able to control her excesses!

Thank God we don't leave together with her again!!! I could have just committed a crime!!!!

May no first born went to marry a last born like my husband again in this life!

I don't even wish my enemies to end up with my situation in this family.

Thank God his three older sisters are very sensible people! God bless them. Their father raised them well! Because if they towed the part of their mother who is my mother in law. Ahhh there generation is finished be that

 

I have sat and think,thought, still thinking, and have come to the conclusions that; the reason he is so bossy towards i and my kids while being soft towards other of his members is because all his life he is being boss around by his parents and older siblings till he find someone and paid her bride price(myself) then he felt it is time for him to start bossing someone's daughter around(still me) and then he start to reproduce offspring (our kids),then his bossy clan starts expanding. More people to control and boss around! Left headed f**l.

He treats everyone better than myself and kids. Many times, our children have complained to me that why is their dad so gentle with their cousin's and harsh with them ,his kids? The oldest of our kids is 10

Amongst five siblings that he came from ,he is the only one who has such stupid attitude! Cos his older and only brother who is the second born treats his wife like a queen and his kids like prince and princesses!

 Ideal man who knows the value of the family he created is more important than the one he came from. 

This my husband will embarrass me anywhere o by shouting at me. Be it in their family house,for road,for market, for inside car, for filling station, for my mother place ,infact for anywhere. But sha since the beginning of this year, i made promise to myself that i will start shouting back at him thoroughly. And i have kept to my promise so far. So once he starts his madness unjustly, i too activates my kolo side of brain and we starts shouting at each other! Mad couple we are turning into. E better like that. Atleast any family gathering now, he is sure that if he shouts at me  i go retaliate sharply. So, i don't think he will likely shout at me in that their family house again because na that one dey pain me passe all his shouting junctions.  

It is well. I refused to be turn mad by him because he did not carry me a mad woman from my mama house! 

I was just a gentle,young and very naive lady that he preyed on and married! 

I did everything wrong to myself for marrying him! 

Very selfish,manipulative,controlling , STINGY child that i went to marry! Oh lord!!

Ahhh!!!!!!!

I dont even know what to say, this one choke!!!!!