''Dear Stella, I read all.the comments and I'm grateful. I've taken my child out of that place few days after I posted. Since we left and we stopped using the herbs, my boy has beeen sleeping very well.
I wouldn't say I'm financially dependent on him cause i still have little savings left which i spend. I had a job but resigned cause I had to move to his own state after marriage. I conceived immediately after marriage and couldn't work due to the first trimester ish. I am almost done spending my savings cause this man nags all the time about how much he spends and all. Note, that he doesn't spend on me directly.
He buys foodstuff and I buy too. I don't ask him for money to make my hair or do other personal stuff, i spend my own savings. 4 weeks after birth, he was already asking for s#x knowing fully well that I had a tear and got stitched. He had his way and I got n infection.
At times, he forces himself on me. I am beginning to hate him and once I get a job and he continues this way, that's the end. I will advice the ladies not to give up their career or job just to marry a man. Except he's a very good man, don't do it! Men are funny creatures and my only regret is leaving the good job to start with him and I am here facing all these...
Marital Rape is wrong but a lot of women give in to it and make it look like its normal, its not ooooooooooooooh. Once he rapes you in Marriage,just know that you are in trouble!
I guess your situation was not just about your inalws but rather complicated.... I cant deal at all with a stingy, nagging man, i no go stay!
Clearly u married a very wicked man and I can’t wait for u to be totally done with that situation.
ReplyDeleteWish u all the best
Sorry about your ordeal...You can apply to withdraw from your pension savings through your pension manager who will reach out to your former company on your behalf...
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best
Phoenix,I don't think it is that easy. I was told one needs to be of a particular age (I think frm 45 and above) and must have worked for a considerable number of years before one can withdraw from pension fund. Also,it is only a percentage that can be withdrawn...say 25% at most
DeleteShe can withdraw 25% of her pension savings if she's not working.
DeleteYes she can without being 45 years old. I know it's an annoyingly rigorous process. Please withdraw from your pension abeg you need it and start planning for your future, Iwouldnt advise you leave, he may change with God all things are possible. Just ginger your spirit and dust your certificate and strat looking for work, you will get. GOD WILL HELP YOU.
DeleteWhat ladies see in marriage our mouth can't say it all. You get married and still almost live as if you are single. It's well sis, just find a way to have your peace and sanity back.
ReplyDeleteYes! What ladies see in marriages!
DeleteIt’s hard but I will advise women to always have money coming in and always have money saved. Too many shocking yet similar stories abeg.
ReplyDeleteMarital rape in Nigeria, is there anything like that? 🤣nope, they believe once they married u, u are authentic their property, don't blame them please, did u see the video of the 39years old beautiful lady yesterday crying to be married?
ReplyDeleteEven in Nigerian Law, there is sadly nothing like marital rape last I checked, someone correct me if I’m wrong. We still follow olden days British law and instead of our lawmakers to revise them, they are concerned about national anthem. Ndi mmuo
DeleteThat mumu is one of the reasons men treat women anyhow. Such a shameless woman
DeleteAnon 18:27, you are correct. Under Nigerian criminal jurisprudence, a man cannot rape his wife no matter the circumstances which he had sex with her.
DeleteHowever, the woman can still sue him for sexual assault and battery, depending on the facts of the case.
Marriage should be enjoyed not endured. God abeg o
ReplyDeleteI wonder what makes you treat another human this way. Humans are cruel.
ReplyDeleteMay God give you a glorious and triumphant fresh start. All the best to you and the little one.
ReplyDeleteI Pray You have a Good Job soon.
ReplyDeleteMarital Rape is a Plague in some marriage, A Heavy Discussion that People would rather bury thier heads in the Sand than discuss it.
Most times People go the Traditional way" A man cannot rape his legally wedded Wife
ThankGod you have left the Place oooo
ReplyDeleteSee baby is sleeping well now
I pray you get a better Job🙏🙏
It is well with you 🙏🙏
Hello iya boys
Marriages comes with it own challenges, it's not a bed of roses either, but it takes two to tango before it can work out...
ReplyDeleteHmmm!
ReplyDeleteSo inconsiderate of him. May God give you a Job so you won't have to depend on him to live.
ReplyDeleteGo report him to his mother
ReplyDeleteWhich mother?
DeleteYou obviously did not read the first chronicle
Na wah o!
ReplyDeleteShe I I said it in the last post that her kind of husband wey go trick wife go him family house few days after naming ceremony no be better husband, and the marriage is most probably wonky.
ReplyDeleteIn all of this, I am just happy for that innocent baby that did not ask to be born.
You and your husband will sort each other out when you're ready.
May God heal all marriages.Truly, we need his grace to remain in a marriage and still be sane.
ReplyDeleteThis marriage is not going to be a smooth ride for you at all, since you are already having these type of issues with your husband. Please make sure you don't get pregnant again, and also begin to plan how you will leave the marriage.
ReplyDeleteI don’t have words to advise in your situation except to say May God lead you at this point but you see Gelas comment about not getting pregnant this is one of the wisest things you can do right now.
DeleteMay we not marry our enemies
ReplyDeleteI pray you totally break Free from this bondage
And the single ones are dying to get married,God please direct the right life partner to all the single men and women out there seeking for life partner 🙏
ReplyDeletePls go back to your former base and reapply to your former company.
ReplyDeleteYou need to go far from him and get a job for yourself. This type of man will not let you live in peace if you leave him and still remain in the same town with him
I agree with this if it's possible, see if your bosses/colleagues will be willing to accept you back. Good luck.
DeleteYour husband is not the worst man on earth. Stop looking for an escape when you can work to fix your home. Sit down and reflect on what you want, how to achieve it, and what you will need to make it happen. If a peaceful family home and life are part of your goals, then get busy working towards them. Everyone makes mistakes, but you can start making a positive difference now.
ReplyDeleteYou have the power to influence how your husband and in-laws treat you, as well as the affairs of your home. Take it from a woman who was in a similar situation a few years ago but overcame the challenges and now stands strong, with her husband and in-laws calling her blessed.
Start now from where you are.
Thanks for this, Change the nagative mind on your husband and things around you.
DeleteMay all this poster has experienced be your portion. All the pain, disrespect and helplessness will be your portion, so you can repent for the nonsense you’ve just written. Idiot.
Delete19:07, I was speechless when I saw the mention that the poster had the power to influence how the husband and in-laws treated her. No wonder women die in abusive marriages with such kind of advice. Whew lawd.
DeleteAnon 21:20, I've already overcome my challenges. This poster hasn't seen a quarter of what I endured in eight years of marriage. My husband's elder sisters treated me terribly. They told me not to bother getting a job in the city because my husband and I would be settling in the village to manage village affairs. Imagine others dictating how you and your husband should live.
DeleteMy husband was entirely loyal and respectful to them. I had to choose whether to stay in the marriage or leave. I saved up some money to move out and resented my husband for putting me through so much stress. But I asked myself the same questions I posed to the poster, and that changed everything.
Today, I'm not even in a city in Nigeria (which they thought was too good for me), but in a first-world country. Now, I occasionally ask them about what's happening in the village, and they joyfully respond. My husband, who realised what I went through, stands firmly by my side.
Poster, if you want, listen to those auntie gwegwegwe who would jump at any chance to be with someone like your husband.
Lol
DeleteYou still dey wait until you gets a job and I observe his way,
ReplyDeleteSigh!!! A lot of people are going through this in marriage. I wish you all the best
ReplyDelete