ABANDONED BY DIASPORA HUSBAND
I'm 6 months pregnant, and my husband abroad doesn't call or chat me, I always do the calling and all, I have begged, cried and I'm exhausted honestly, what happened to make him hate me, is what I don't understand.
I'm carrying my child alone, I had to leave to my parents house, before I will die from sadness, And no he's not married to another woman or a white woman, He just changed.
The pastor my aunt took me to said it's not ordinary, he's being manipulated spiritually, we are just 6 months married, as I took in immediately and he left for his base. But it's well, I'm striving and living for God every day. I plan to leave the marriage after birthing my child, cause the pain is too much and I don't know if I can forgive him.
Hmmmmmm please no one is manipulating yoru man anything, just give this a rest and concentrate on your babyBusy yourself with other things for now.
I dont believe he is being manipulated spirtually.he may be going thru a Job crisis and has no time for love talks...
Me I don't really believe all this prayer house.. sometimes they will tell you one thing and another will happen.. like stella said maybe he is busy looking for work or something else is bothering him..for now you and your baby should be your priority.
ReplyDeleteHmmnnn, I didn’t really attribute things to the spiritual until recently. Stella, the spiritual is real and controls EVERYTHING you see in the physical world. Therefore, nothing just happens…
DeleteGood a thing you are at your parents place.
ReplyDeletePls don't make hasty decisions.
I will suggest you divert your attention to something else. Concentrate on having a safe Delivery and device means to reduce thoughts of him or calling him.
Just take each day at a time. Its well with you
Does he send you money? If he does, use it to take care of yourself and stay calm for your health and baby's sake.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
One more thing. What about his family? Have you contacted them? What's their take on this?
She said he abandoned her and you're asking if he sends money. Read to understand and not to comment.
DeleteI have a friend who abandoned her with 4 kids. This was 16 years ago. Now the kids are grown and found his contact, now he talks to them, but doesn't really care. He promises them money but still fails. You better forget him dear.
DeleteWhat is it with people visiting Pastors to "see". 🤦♀️.You hear from him when you reach out. Your husband should be checking up on you, knowing you are pregnant, and that's not easy. Since he isn't, I'd suggest you put that on hold. Put your health first. Focus on caring for you and your unborn child. I wish you a safe delivery.
ReplyDeleteStella I don't agree with you....what sort of job crisis will make you not remember someone is carrying your seed & check on the person? What sort of cold attitude is that? My sister move on now because when you born inlaws will want to drag the baby away from you .
ReplyDeleteDepression
DeleteHIS Seed. If this happens after child birth, she would have been told not to live HER child behind. When she calls, what do they talk about. Has she asked him what the matter is. Did he refuse to tell. Is he meeting other obligations as the owner of HIS Seed. So many questions about this chronicle.
DeleteThe problem with us is that we like living in delulu. He’s not married to another woman but he changed immediately he went back to his wife sorry I mean his base.
ReplyDeleteYour pastor said he’s been manipulated oya na let your pastor deliver him from the manipulator. You better focus on making yourself happy before you develop high bp that’s dangerous to your condition.
Wait, after putting you through all these emotional stress you still consider forgive him if he comes around? It is well
Fan Emmanuel
Lol..
DeleteInstead of them to plan and work for their Japa, they'll be looking for shortcuts, and end up playing themselves
Me sef don't believe that man doesn't have a foreign wife....Poster please focus on you and your unborn child for now, safe delivery dear
DeleteFan you are likely on point! Madam just face your health and delivery for now.
DeleteI hope he’s not a Londoner. They’re useless o
ReplyDeleteLol... honestly the Nigerian guys are just looking for who to take advantage of, opportunist. Poster please don't be discouraged get busy and you too try and japa to meet him after having your baby. I know someone with almost the same matter, sister kuku ma used visa to join him now they are loving as man and wife with thier children.
DeleteLiving*
DeleteWhy is it always the men that are susceptible to manipulations? A man will use his clear eyes to do wicked acts but everyone will excuse his behaviour with the same old tired tale of manipulations or juju. Turn the tables and we will hear 'fear women'.
ReplyDelete@OP, your husband married you to bear his kids and since you took in immediately, he has shown you his true colors. It is up to you to bear with it 'for the sake of your kids' or actually move on without looking back. It is easier to move on with less years and baggage. The more you stay hoping for change, the deeper you are stuck in that mess.
This ohhh! This is it!
DeleteSome men marry women just so that it can be said that they are married and have children. If you are lucky and they give you some money, they do not invest anything else in the marriage… not time, not emotions, nothing else. They return to status quo living their life like bachelors.
It’s not easy, but you have to detach from him and keep yourself in good health for the baby. Good thing you went back to your parents. Pretend to yourself that you are unmarried. Stop calling him often. If you like call him once a month or something. Then let your parents go and tell his parents what is happening, just so they know.
If his head resets before you give birth, he MUST begin to process your papers before you return to him as a wife, he must also treat you as a wife before you ‘reconcile’.
If his head does not reset, after the immediate postpartum period, start the process of returning his bride price and filing for divorce. His head is not correct.
I know we cannot turn back the hands of time, but women, please do not rush to get pregnant . Wait until you see what the marriage is made of before you start adding new life. Ppl marry for any number of reasons, you will not always know someone’s true motivation no matter what they say with their lips.
ReplyDeletePoster, it is time to activate your survival plan. Are you able to finance the baby without the financial input of your husband? If you are unable to mange on your own then go seek assistance from the ministry of women’s affairs or find an NGO or charity that helps mothers in crisis and get help through them.
Are you sure that your husband is still alive or did not take down with an illness? Did he borrow money from others to japa and now everyone is on his case to return their funds? Getting into the new country is a small part of it, finding work and surviving is the major part of the japa business. Please seek a way for you and your baby’s survival on ground and continue to pray for your husband.
Auntie is this husband of yours Chinedu E. E. from ihiala based in US? If he is please move on with your life. If you are carrying a girl child just forget it, his not going to care. He comes into Nigeria very often spends minimum a month from Lagos to Abuja. Trying to pregnant gullible girls and promising them marriage, His tired of singlehood. His divorced but you won't know as no record online. Let me stop here
ReplyDeletePlease take care of yourself and your baby. Ladies please be wise. One wrong decision with applying wisdom can crush you if not careful.
My own Ihiala?
DeleteWahala
DeleteOh boy!
DeleteChai ooo! This one na serial impregnator ooo! Some people's conscience have gone on vacation and some others own are plain dead. Na real wa!
DeletePlease follow Stella advice and take care of yourself
ReplyDeletePoster sorry can you stop seeing Pastors as seers in your marriage? Is not everything that is spiritual? What if he is with his Britico wife over there reason he is not communicating.
ReplyDeleteAs hard as this may sound and you won't be happy to hear, you have to look out for yourself....You ought to be enjoying your marriage together at least for 2 years before you are separated by whatever life brings to you.
All the best and look out for yourself
You too have gone to meet babalawo disguised as pastor to call him back to 'order'..
ReplyDeleteI don't know the madness of women wanting to control men,. This is just what most of them aim to achieve, them whenever it's not working as they expect they start to resort to diabolical means that'll leter mess them up..
When they help you destroy what's left of this your marriage, that's when your eyes would clear..
You're actually the one being manipulated spiritually, not that innocent man
What is innocent about the hediot
DeleteYou know he is not married because????? See the way you vouched for him, someone you're not even living with. Stay strong for yourself and your baby to come. I know it is not easy but you have to start living for yourself and put him aside. Stay strong, the Lord is with you.
ReplyDeleteThere’s no excuse for not calling you. Someone that genuinely loves you will make time for you no matter what he or she is going through. Na u know wetin u marry.
ReplyDelete@ Eka Joy she needs advice nah. You don't have to necessarily tell her na she know wetin she marry. I'm happy you are blessed with a good husband, but this woman here is pregnant and depressed, please be kind with your words. Meanwhile, may God keep protecting your marriage.
DeleteLucyboo, God bless you!
DeleteThis why some ladies won't agree to allowing their husbands relocate while they are here with their kid/s. It's either they both go there together to start a family or stay here together. I don't blame them. It because of situations like this.
ReplyDeletePlease focus on your self and the wellbeing of you and your baby. All will be well.
not everting is manipulations or spiritual
ReplyDeletelike SDK said please channel all the energy, love, attention on your baby for now and allow him have his space. If he is serious he will surly come around.
You cannot be too sure that your man is not married to any oyibo or have another woman over there. A lot have been happening to trust anyone blindly especially when you are not in the same country.
They will plan a wedding without planning a life together. In all the courtship was the issue of him leaving you behind not discussed once?
ReplyDeleteDo not call him again. Mirror his behavior back to him. If he is still interested in the marriage he will let you know. Ofcourse you also must factor in that not all men are great with the communicating and checking up thing. I am one of such men but it doesn't mean I don't care about my spouse. But ofcourse I make sure I call her everyday that one na common sense.
Except your man may be in prison....
Stop beating yourself up. Your child needs your sanity.
Toh at least you have shown you have common sense.
DeletePoster I think you should try to find out the real situation of your husband.
Really it could be anything but definitely something is up, and it most likely won't be good. You need to know so you can make the right decision about your life. Try to see if you can find someone who really knows him, or someone who can check on him over there.
Take care and all the best.
Oh dear it is well with you o
ReplyDeleteAnons15:31
🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆
It is well
It is well
It is well
Hello iya Boys
I’ve never been married but I’m certain this isn’t it
ReplyDeleteMy uncle once married a lady
He left her 10 years plus
At a point it was rumored his brother was sleeping with her because people thought he was dead
11th year he appears and takes her abroad
Funny story but true
I feel pity and concern for you
Please be strong
Could he be gay and he married you to cover up and perhaps the baby too?🤔
ReplyDeleteEither ways, please stay strong, the Lord will touch his heart and every hidden secrets shall be revealed.
I would never understand why nothing is ever ordinary in Nigeria, when unravelling comes to unraveling the intricacies of a man's and a woman's relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhen a man treats his wife inappropriately and behaves badly, it is not ordinary and he is not in his right senses. When he treats her with utmost kindness, behaves lovingly, and he is supportive,
It is also not ordinary, and there must be some spiritual manipulation at play.
Not everything is spiritual. You went to meet a pastor, come on! What were you expecting to hear?
You should know God for yourself .
No matter how worried or bothered he may be, I do not think that's an excuse to not call or check on you and the baby. As a matter of fact, during these trying times of his (if he is truly going through one ), you are meant to be his backbone and emotional support.
So, why would he not embrace that but instead distance himself further when you try to maintain communication? It beats me. I hope you are not the Nigerian wife.
If you still insist that he isn't married to any other woman, then I hope nothing happened when he came home for the wedding that made him change to act this way towards you. You said he changed when he went back. I hope he isn't one to hold grudges or engage in the silent treatment.
Still, I would advise you to focus on your health and the baby and stop worrying about him for now.
When he calls, don't complain about his disinterest. Just communicate about other things outside of what you always talk about.
Try doing this more often and let's see if he would eventually open up about what's bothering him. Because from the look of things, he seems rather preoccupied and detached.
Poster do not vouch for him. You do not know what he is doing over there.
ReplyDeleteFocus on yourself and your unborn child. It won't be easy but your need all the strength you have to pull through with God by your side.
Stay away from those god of men. They are agent of confusion and enablers.
I wish you more grace and may God see you through.
Dear poster, I don’t know if your husband is being manipulated but I know that if you begin to join the NSPPD Prayers online at 7am on YouTube or if you can make your way to the church, your story will change. I’m speaking from experience.🤗
ReplyDeleteThis Poster doesn't need any body's insult or over Sabi judgment right now, this is an abandoned pregnant woman, if she goes to her pastor for prayers, what is wrong with it eh? She's desperately searching for solutions, I pray life doesn't humble some of you here.She said her husband isn't married to another woman, some of una say na lie, oh chim!
ReplyDeletePoster, pls take good care of your health ok, to avoid hbp, pray and pray, God is in control, stay with your parents for as long as possible, Nne make yourself happy o, May the child you are carrying bring you favor and joy, God Almighty will come through for you in Jesus Name. Amen
Thank you.
DeleteI hate poor communication.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about this. It's possible that he's preoccupied with his job search and adjusting to his new surroundings, which might be distracting him from putting in effort. Please don't let anyone suggest that he's being manipulated or influenced unduly don't be swayed by misinformation. Instead, remain calm and turn to God in prayer, seeking guidance for your thoughts and your spouse's situation. Remember, God is the ultimate source of wisdom and strength.
ReplyDeleteOche!
He may truly be going through some difficult situations but is that enough reason not to speak to his pregnant wife?Now, you should know the devil is behind this.(Ephesian 6:12)We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against spiritual wickedness in high places.
ReplyDeleteGet your mind off this and relax for the sake of your unborn child.Continue praying and keep declaring God's words over your home.
same thing am going through with the man am dating who's based in the US 9maryland. he suddenly ghosted me after our nice conversation a week and some days ago , been calling and texting but got no response , he claims to not be married but i doubt. dear poster i advise u take ur mind off him its difficult but doable , i understand the emotional stress.
ReplyDeleteI bet if he starts calling you again and apologizes, you agree.
DeleteRed flags everywhere, yet you won’t learn.
Me i believe is not ordinary issues, he is married to you and left without communicating unless you do so.
ReplyDeleteJust get his family involved, is from them you will hear his stand.
Can only imagine the pain youre going through..I hope you find the strength to go through this phase.
ReplyDeleteIts good that you're with your parents. I pray that your joy will be restored in Jesús name.
Its well.
ReplyDeleteSame thing happened to me last year.
ReplyDeleteEverything was fine. He was abroad while I was in naija, though we weren't married but our communication was 💯.
He promised to come back dec to finalize everything. Then suddenly guy stopped talking to me. I'll send msgs and he'd ignore. I'll call he won't pick. When he eventually pick up he came with excuse of workloads but you were doing same work when you wouldn't stay a sec without talking to me.
I cried I begged. I asked if there was another woman, he said no.
Omo when I couldn't take it anymore I just deleted everything about him and moved on. Thank God we never gbensh. Even when he pressurised me to send nudes, I refused.
Now I hardly remember he existed sef. Someone that all he was telling me was promise upon promise, to dash money sef na war. I drop him like hot akara.
There's more to this, i mean this marriage is still very young. Poster pray and focus on yourself and unborn baby which is very important
ReplyDeleteInform his family about the change, they should have access to him, the two families should meet over this.
ReplyDeletePay attention to how things play out to be sure he didn't marry for procreation sake only, he will only come around when there's a need to have more kids and goes on with his life, he might probably not want marriage but succumb to family and societal pressure.
They display this ghost character during courtship but women turn deaf ears hoping things will get better after marriage.
Felicity
Just ignore. It's painful, but focus on having a healthy baby. As long as he's providing for the baby, it's fine
ReplyDeleteJust ignore. It's painful, but focus on having a healthy baby. As long as he's providing for the baby, it's fine
ReplyDelete