CHOKED
I feel choked by this new found guy. We met about a month ago via online. He is abroad based and single...
How come he is always asking me to do the calling?. When I call we talk for hours. He likes texting but likes me calling. I like him though but this everyday calling is choking me. We are not teanagers.
How come he is always asking me to do the calling?. When I call we talk for hours. He likes texting but likes me calling. I like him though but this everyday calling is choking me. We are not teanagers.
I am a comfortable woman in my 40s seeking for love and he is in his late 50s. .
I don't have anything new to discuss with him each day of calling.
I wish he can give me breathing space. But I don't want to lose him as he has promised me good time when I come over there next month.
Most time I have to keep my phone with me as he messages all the time and gets annoyed if I don't respond.
How long do I keep with this kind of love?
I wish he can give me breathing space. But I don't want to lose him as he has promised me good time when I come over there next month.
Most time I have to keep my phone with me as he messages all the time and gets annoyed if I don't respond.
How long do I keep with this kind of love?
My dear if he doesnt keep in touch, you will still complain and now he does you are still complaining......Why dont you just relax and enjoy yourself?After your trip to visit him, then you can know if really want him or not...
So heis in his 50's and single`?Please listen to the story well and make sure you stay in a hotelwhen you visit...
Just let him know you appreciate his messages and all but let him know the times you would prefer to chat or call politely. Doesn't he expect that you are either at work or busy even if you run your business. Being in love doesn't mean you should be choked with calls. E dey shak am😜. But do your findings well, if he is in his late 50s and still single. No loose guard o. All the best
ReplyDeleteYour situation-ship is in the early stage which is; for each parties (inclusive of YOU) to be yourself and clearly voice your expectations and who you are and not, put boundaries on basic things, do not start Overstretching/overlooking things. Please express your concerns.
DeleteAre you condoling and ignoring things because he promised you a Good time and His based abroad? My Gender sef! once abroad is in picture we lose our guards and sense of reasoning.
leekwa another almost successful case of Chop!!! Chop!!! Chop!!! then unto the next ignorant lady.
Sisi, your last paragraph is the Koko except she wants to have fun ooo without any commitment
DeleteSisi Nene, your first paragraph is my method. No time
DeleteMadam why disturbing us about while you can just solve the problem by telling to stop calling or tell him to reduce his call and you are in your 40s and you are still posting this for advice .?na wah
ReplyDeleteCan you read well before commenting
DeleteITK
DeleteRead it again slowly and compare it with your comment
DeleteI guess he's the clingy type. You guys are still relatively new. Enjoy the attention and savour the moment.
ReplyDeleteAbroad don sweet you naw...in three months time..very gullible lot.
ReplyDeleteUna no dey learn.
What kind of job does he do?
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, I believe you know what you want in a man, how you want to be communicated to and treated in a relationship, dating or otherwise....
ReplyDeleteAre you putting yourself all through this because he promised you 'a good time' in the abroad that you are ready to neglect your needs and answer to every of his whimps and demands..
You don't want to create healthy boundaries by agreeing on the time to call or reach out and letting him understand that you have other things going on in your life that needs attention... Why is the communication one-sided? Don't you think he is married?
You have become too available for him.....This is not love at all where you can't freely communicate your mind and you have do everything because he promised you ''a good time''
I believe you know what to do but afraid to take that decision because you are considering your age and your chances in the dating pool.... Please tread with caution....
All the best...
Just follow Stella's advise, she took that from my mouth. The only thing I will add is for you to hold your own spending money; as if you are going for a planned vacation... to avoid story that touch...
ReplyDeleteDOG has something to say and he will say it.
ReplyDeleteOP, you do realize what you just wrote is basically two steps removed from prostitution right? Seriously? You say you are in your 40s and the thought of a "good time" is what makes you not want to lose a man? What, are you 12?
You don't like a thing you voice it out! You clearly state to the person that you are not comfortable with the particular behavior and demand it to stop.
This is how people allow themselves get manipulated into regrettable situations.
You say you are comfortable and yet the promise of a good time is getting you to compromise on what you wouldn't normally tolerate.
You never tire yet. When you tire for the choking, you know wetin to do.
Next!
She's not being manipulated anything..
DeleteNa just pure greed and long throat..
That user and over smart mentality wey make am no fit get good relationship for here go still mess up this one too
Poster you should listen to this… him getting angry whenever you can’t take his calls is a red flag. At 40yrs and being a comfortable woman, nobody should be able to use ‘good time’ to do you long throat, you are not a university youngin’ .
DeleteYou need to learn how to draw healthy boundaries before you entangle yourself with a time waster of manipulator
@Dogedity, maybe i didn't understand your post.
DeleteBut i don't agree that this translates to prostitution as you stated.
Everyone desires companionship, and when you think you have found it, for many reasons you don't want to loose it until the reasons are very glaring.
I believe she doesn't want to be told she is choosy, that's one of the reasons for this post. So even though she is uncomfortable with this chocking behavior she still wants to give it a chance.
Lady T. No I didn't call her or in anyway insinuate she is a prostitute. I'm way too decent and classy for that.
DeleteI used "two steps removed" as a term meaning that should a variable change in a situation, a certain result becomes inevitable.
Her man is teasing her with a good time so she comes over. When she does and she isn't particularly pleased when she sees him in person and doesn't want to go the intimate sexual route which has already built up between them and the man tables eye watering money, what do you think will happen?
She won't refuse. She will sleep with him. She is comfortable yes but not enough to sponsor her trip over there by herself else she would have long gone there on her terms. So tell me how she won't be at his mercy?
The DOG gas spoken.
Stella why hotel
ReplyDeleteSeems she sef is happy to see him
Just put him on video call
Let her stay in an hotel first then when she visits his house she can decide if she wants to stay at his..
DeleteI’m 15:21
DeleteI agree with you Mrs Sharon 😁
So you dey wait make we tell you to keep it moving before you do the needful?
ReplyDeleteMtcheewwwwww.😬
Why
DeleteSmall thing you don dey run don dey order Uber
If this is the only issue you have with him, then you can work around it.
ReplyDeleteAren't you working? I'm asking because I'm sure he won't expect you to message him or call when you're busy.
Or it just means you're both incompatible.
Question sef is 'isn't he working'? Where does he find time to engage her per second like this in the abroad. Madam I am over 40, use your tongue to count your teeth o.
DeleteYou are adjusting to a new relationship
ReplyDeleteHe wants the morning and night call. Just call him then
This is not calling and only texting is a bit frustrating
Just imagine… even this elderly one too. ‘He has promised me good time’. 😭😭
ReplyDeleteYou no know say "good time" dey sweet them too?
DeleteHehehe
DeleteMama na retired but not tired..
Old Strong Corn wey eyes still dey shook..
You call 40s old…🤣🤣🤣hahahaha…. I’m in my 40s and younger girls feel intimidated by me…. Oga naa how. You take carry yourself….. thank goodness I left Nigeria with this kind of mentality women will always be stuck in bad situations….. over here grandma de wear half-top sef…. Leave her alone she wants good time, what is wrong with that. She should just go with wisdom ( stay in a hotel first)
Delete40s old ke
DeleteSome of you didn’t grow up around good relationships and it shows
Consider having an open and honest conversation with him about your needs and boundaries. Explain that you value your connection but need some breathing room to maintain your own life and interests. Suggest alternative communication methods, like scheduling regular video calls or sharing updates through emails.
ReplyDeleteA relationship should enrich your life, not consume it. If he truly cares about you, he'll understand and respect your wishes. If not, it may be a sign that this relationship isn't sustainable for you.
Best wishes!
MAKE SHOW THIS IS NOT YAHOO YAHOO, NEVER SEND NUDE TO AVOID HAD I KNOWN / BLACKMAIL.
ReplyDeleteMtchewww
ReplyDeleteProbably a lonely grandpa his children took abroad to enjoy himself, playing love love dovey with you,be careful,my advice to you though......... Josaria
ReplyDeletePoster see how you can adjust and enjoy this attention while it last, this type of attention is better than not getting any at all o... good luck with him.
ReplyDeleteElderly people deserve love too!
Madam a man in his 50s??? what stories is he telling you that kept him still that time with no wife or children. Leave too much romance for now and find out his baggages. Don't just sleep on a bicycle like this
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't have money to call.
ReplyDeleteMost likely doesnt have a job.
It's as simple as that.
Because how does one have all the time to text at several times through out the day continuously?
An old man of 50 is promising you good time? What kind of good time is that, that you can't afford for yourself. Sounds ratchet and good though.
But if that's your thing, then that's your thing.
The older I get, the more critical and refined my tastes get.
There’s WhatsApp so money to call is not an issue
DeleteThank you. Why always texting and expecting you to call? Guy is broke
DeleteGbam. He is jobless
DeleteOr and only male child, depending on his family's source of income
DeleteFind out why he prefers you initiate the calls while he is only able to text so it’s not like those husbands that excuse themselves when a call comes in to go to the bathroom. Late 50s will have a reason he is single, find out. Background check is important here o. I run a background check on anyone my young adults are dating. It’s between $29.99 & $49.99 depending on how much info you want. It’s very important.
ReplyDeleteThose checks are not very good
DeleteHire PI instead
Why are you the only one calling, he can't spend his own credit card to call you? This is red flag to me.
ReplyDeletePlease if you're going to the abroad, don't rely on him at all for you upkeep, make sure you go with your own money because of story that touches.
Why are you the One doing The Calling
ReplyDeleteYou Get Credit Nah
Is Like You Do Not Know What To Do With Your Credit..
Keep Doing The Calling..ooo
Pele ooo
It is well
Hello iya boys
Do you call him on video? He might be a scammer
ReplyDeleteLate 50s. He cannot give you a "good time" sef... after one round, he may just snore, that is if he can give you the big O.
ReplyDeletewhy don't you discus your fear with him, tell him to reduce the convo with you on daily basis. I hope you will not come crying tomorrow if he stop calling you ? some people are like that while other are the opposite, you should try and enjoy the moment with him if truly you appreciate his friendship.
ReplyDeleteDon't take anybody that does only texting serious, and run if he is not texting through WhatsApp. Even if he doesn't like to call often, at least he should call once in a day or in two days
DeleteDear poster, I sense he's the clingy type but even at that you COMMUNICATE, you're old enough to know what you what...
ReplyDeleteDo not allow your quest in finding Love make you settle for just anyone
I hope you can see the red flags, don't allow the promise of good time that you can give yourself becloud your sense of reasoning. We have seen it happen so many times with these abroad pple...be careful biko!
ReplyDeleteBritico love no be setious one till una see korokoro he may not be serious
ReplyDeleteWhy is this giving red flag? Just be careful.
ReplyDeleteI never said I am going to put up with him. I have where to stay. I have my money. I don't know what will happen when we meet whether I will fancy him or not.. He is not a yahoo yahoo. He has a good job.
ReplyDeleteHe is not responsible for my trip. I only feel choked by him. He is very single as we talk into late nights. I call him at random
Anyway, I am trying to get it reduced. He is ok with my pace. We are cool .
Thanks all for the advise but those saying it's greed I forgive you all. I wish you knew my status
Dear poster, that he gets angry when you don't respond immediately is a big red flag. You have to keep the phone with you all the time so he doesn't get angry??? Pls think about it again. It seems to me he is an impatient person.
ReplyDeleteHow come you are the one calling and not him?
I had a relationship like that. So when he calls and i don't pick its a big deal to him. He will ask what i was doing or who i was talking to. If he calls and I'm on the phone with someone i have to explain who i was talking with even if he doesn't know the person. I got tired of the relationship, because i was put under intense pressure. The last straw that broke the camel's back, i think he called and i didn't pick, then he got so mad and put off his phone for 3 days. No, i called it off, asap.
Everything aunty Stella said
ReplyDeleteEverything aunty Stella said
ReplyDeleteYou have enabled nonsense treatment for your self all because of desperation to find love. Which one is "Most time I have to keep my phone with me as he messages all the time and gets annoyed if I don't respond. " And why should you agree to doing the calling all the time? So he will see you as wife material abi? See you heading into a very miserable relationship.
ReplyDeletePlease try and sieve the advice you receive. With no evidence at all, some people have called him a Yahoo boy, a jobless man, a lonely grandpa and other unsavoury comments. Some of them would rather prefer you remain lonely, but would jump at this opportunity if it prevents itself.
ReplyDeleteRelationship takes work. If he is a good man, put in the work and call him. Explain to him that you won't always be close to your phone due to exigencies of work.
However, if you're sure that you're uncomfortable with the situation , simply call it off for the sake of your mental health.
Good luck to you
*presents*
DeleteSince the visit is next month, kindly endure till then. It's barely 2 weeks already to next month.
ReplyDeleteWhen you both meet you can discuss this. So you both can schedule calling times.
But remember when a man I inlove, he'll always call. Love can make a grandpa starts acting like a child.
Though you may see yourself as too old for all that, open your heart and enjoy this period. Because 9t won't last forever. As you both grow in the relationship, it will reduce.
Meanwhile, make your thorough investigation about him please. ND DONT ACCEPT TO MARRY HIM UNTIL YOU ARE 100% SURE.