Hmmmm
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIED MAN VERSUS SINGLE LADY:
I am a matured single lady.
I belong to a group in church. A married man is the president while I am the assistant. This means that we will always call ourselves on issues relating to the group. Most days after church we will seat together to discuss issues concerning the group. The man's wife is not in our group.
Recently I noticed the lady is cold towards me. If I greet her she will pretend as if she did not hear me. If she sees me discussing with the husband, she will surely find reasons to stop the discussion.
I belong to a group in church. A married man is the president while I am the assistant. This means that we will always call ourselves on issues relating to the group. Most days after church we will seat together to discuss issues concerning the group. The man's wife is not in our group.
Recently I noticed the lady is cold towards me. If I greet her she will pretend as if she did not hear me. If she sees me discussing with the husband, she will surely find reasons to stop the discussion.
Please ladies in house how do I handle this issue?. I can't stop communicating with this man and I don't like the wife's reactions towards me.
My mind is pure towards her.
I have zero feelings towards the man. God forbid.
Ask to be removed from the position immediately and explain the reason for it...It is even wrong to put a married man and an unmarried woman in such close contact...The wife is trying to protect what is hers and may not have the right words to do it...Please dont blame her, the man fit don show her that she cannot trust him with anyone.....
Its also not about you having feelings for the man but the wife may have noticed that he has developed feelings for you, remember that some men think with the belt between their legs..
Is this how she'll be acting towards females around her hubby??
ReplyDeleteInsecured women everywhere. Does she follow the man everywhere he goes.
DeleteAsk to be changed or talk to the wife to join the group.
DeleteDid they tie your bom bom to that position?kindly resign with reasons and have your peace.
ReplyDeleteDOZZYBEST.
What are you sitting down to be discussing with someone's husband?
ReplyDeleteWhich nonsense regular call are you calling someone else husband ..
If na your own boyfriend one babe dey call and chat with everytime, you go like am ba? Not to talk about someone's husband..
You want to now make it seem like the woman has insecurities or is troublesome, when na you no know boundaries..
If you like don't step down from that nonsense pairing..
Women supporting women my black as5
I was once a vice president of a church building committee. I was very single then and the president is married. We held meeting regularly. The man's wife never gave me issues rather she will help us in doing the work. Women should wake up. Life does not end in marriage.
DeleteYou will always open your mouth to insult women. When has being a single lady a crime.
You're wrong here, bro.
DeleteNonsense and ingredients! So because I am single I can not relate with the opposite sex married or single? What of in the work place where more than half of the work force is male, should I know resign or change careers..must it always be about sex or relationships? This society is sick!
DeleteGod bless you for this,marriage is not a trophy,women should support women,pls poster,pray about it, continue to be friendly with the wife, do your work and move on,prayer works so well,God can touch the wife's heart and she will change towards you for good the wife should also mellow down and work with them both. Will the wife also be sniffing around the man in his work place? Insecurity is not nice,
DeleteBelt between their legs.... Hmmm.. first time i'm reading this. Pray tell, does anyone have an idea what Stella is talking about?
ReplyDeleteOP, I think you should ignore the wife. She's just being needlessly dramatic. Some bad girls will so use her to catch cruise by even becoming very playful with the husband. Let the wife swell up that's her business.
I generally have a dim view of anyone with exposed insecurities.
It is not about insecurities. Well maybe so, but with a good reason. And sdk is very correct. Why will you be paired with a married man in a church group? It gives room for temptation. Bible says flee from all appearances of evil. It is an appearance nothing close to anything. But you see the Bible also says we should be as wise as serpent and as harmless as a dove. Pls ask to be removed from that position. For peace to reign. If i were you, i will enter the wife no matter what. Become friends with her.
DeleteThe days we live in are evil. She is the one wearing the shoes. Don't take her attitude to heart. Don't blame her.
See am asslicker. Reason why she pays them
DeleteDiggity, dis ur comment nawa.pls put urself in d wife's position, infact,will ur own wife tolerate this?be supporting bad tins .and what are u both discussing always without d secretary and treasurer?poster dis ur story no complete.vp's no dey get too much work .
DeleteDiggity, dis ur comment nawa.pls put urself in d wife's position, infact,will ur own wife tolerate this?be supporting bad tins .and what are u both discussing always without d secretary and treasurer?poster dis ur story no complete.vp's no dey get too much work .
DeleteSee as two grown adults with insecurity issues have roped in a man diligently doing his role as a youth president.cant you see you women are the problem ? Bringing problems from no were through your insecurity and suspicions.
ReplyDeleteInnocently you always find a way to rope in the man.stella even going as far as as saying the lady should resign.if so no single lady should work in a role or position with married peeps.make una dey reason before una open mouth talk or use hands type.So if the wife let's assume feels the husband is developing feeling does it make it right to act on something you not even sure of .truth be told you women are just naturally problematic.Mumu poster if you like resign.
Where in the chronicle is it mentioned the man is Youth President? That is how you people fail exams.
Deleteyou get! resign for who? she should fix her insecurities and settle any issue she has with her husband. Will she be advised to resign for her male colleagues because of their wives, poster should learn how to deal with people like her, you look at them like they don't exist.
DeleteFelicity
Maybe you are the man's specs or like Stella said, he might have given the woman several reasons to doubt his loyalty to her or their marriage. The first alternative is you either approach the woman and speak to her one-on-one about her concerns or fears .
DeleteSecond: ask to be removed frhe position.
If na me, if you have big boobs, my sense go leave me go the 'belt" wey Stella dey talk about! Church spanking dey sweet sha! Ladies will be calling you "brother" and una dey wipe each other!
Felicity, remember that this is a church group.not an office setting.abeg ur advice no do.
DeletePoster, please take Stella's advice,
ReplyDeleteis the best.As long as you remain in that position her cold attitude will continue.
Some men can use those they work with either in church or office as example or in comparing them.
Me am not blaming the woman o
ReplyDelete🤦♂️.. SMH
DeleteBecause it's church activities now. Pray tell, if it was an office setting, would you ask her to resign because of the wife?. 🤷♀️
You are right Stella , let her quit to avoid stories if her narrative is true.
ReplyDeleteThe church should appoint an elderly woman that is knowledgeable to handle the group.
Please follow SDK's advice. Don't allow anyone put you in a precarious situation.
ReplyDeleteIf na so no single man or woman should work with a married person ..how does it sound ? Thats how stupid it sounds.
ReplyDeleteSome advice sha.
If this was an office setting will you advise she quits her job or move to a different dept because jos wife is insecure?
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteWhat you do not see usually cause lesser stress. The wife sees them together in this case.
DeleteWives who to their husbands' private business offices do the same as this man's wife.
Wives who get insider information about the closeness between their husbands and a particular female of whatever relationship do the same thing.
Before a gender tag is put on this comment, Men do it too.
Few, very few, men accept closeness between their wives and a particular male business, church, and office colleague.
Let them give you another position please, that woman don't trust her husband with you..I believe the man has shown her shege banza concerning women matter
ReplyDeleteSome love develop fro. Regular communication and interaction between two opposite sex. Most times it's not planned so quiet the Post if you're THIS bothered
ReplyDeleteRelationship sometimes are not planned. Constant communication can cause it
ReplyDeleteMost women wouldn't be comfortable with their husbands talking to a matured single lady even though it's church related.
ReplyDeleteI will suggest you reduce the calls,however,if there is an ongoing project in church that needs you two to communicate often,make your calls before night,drop voicenotes,messages or mail to make report too.
Have most of your discussions in church after service and no unnecessary familiarity because you are in the same group.
I was also in a group with married men,infact I only saved the chairman's number and even still blocked him from seeing my status and for others whenever I needed to send a message I write it in a formal manner and there was no uneasiness from anyone in the church.
Don't feel bad sis!
If you wan commot for that position,make it know to church and make sure the wife hears your reasons.after all, if his a wondering man,women plenty wey e dey do am with..so carrying attitude for you change nothing.you are not her problem,her husband is😏
ReplyDeleteNo need resigning if you are good with the role. You just have to conduct yourself in a way that you show everything is formal between the two of you. That's all.
ReplyDeleteI don’t blame his wife much especially with the level of desperation for marriage and having children in the recent chronicles of “mature single women “
ReplyDeleteIt’s either they are writing and seeking advice on how to go about settling for men cloaked in red bedsheets or they are asking for best ways to snatch their sperm in order to have children with or without their consent all in the race to beat the atrocious biological clock.
Even when I started reading your chronicle o felt “here we go again” another desperate single and a married man. And was rather surprised and certainly relieved to not have found anything thing untoward in your chronicle.
My advice. Seek another post and avoid the couple altogether if your intentions are indeed pure as you have claimed.
Don't quit the position. If the woman. Is so pained. Let her ask her husband to quit. This man has colleagues, customers or business associates will all of them quit because the wife is feeling insecure.
ReplyDeleteWhat stops the woman from joining the group. As a member she will know whatever happens there.
ReplyDeleteIgnore her, she's not serious. Will she give cold attitude to her husband female colleagues? Don't resign because of her, don't even give her any relevance
ReplyDeleteFelicity
I tire o. Please ignore her attitude towards you. Just continue to greet her. Also, don't call the man at odd hours. Communication should mostly be via messages, that way, there would be evidence if there's a call out.
DeleteMeetings should also be in open spaces.
You don't have to resign. Married ladies will do well to stop suspecting unmarried ladies when, most of the time, it could be their married counterparts who need to be checked. Besides, it is not your fault you are single so I don't see what you have done wrong.
ReplyDeleteI see you are not taking your assigned position seriously because it's the church. If it was an organization where you get paid handsomely, don't tell me you would resign because a married lady is feeling insecure.
That aside, it is not the duty of a woman to protect her husband. He is a grown adult who does not need saving or protection. Besides, what women call protection most of the time is another word for clinginess, distrust, stifling and being in charge of another person's autonomy. She would fare better at protecting her child.
If it is okay to assume the man has a roving eye, hence her (the wife's) reason for being unsettled seeing him with the poster, then is it also okay to assume the wife probably dated people's husband as a single lady hence the reason she fidgets that same is about to play out in her marriage? Afterall, isn't it a common statement that those who cheat tend to distrust others?
It is not the poster's fault that the wife does not trust her husband and has unwisely decided to expose the hidden fact that her marriage with her husband is riddled with mistrust and insecurity.
You on the other hand, if it is possible, communicate only on the group chat with him. When you are having your meetings, you can invite the group secretary or any other important member of the group to sit with you both instead of simply resigning.
You have to be careful in church before unnecessary rumour that could taint you starts to spread.
At the speed at which the wife is moving, the husband, I believe, would resign soon enough, and there is no point in hurrying the poster up.
Words on Marble.
He can still cheat with you even if you were a married woman. That's if he is an irresponsible man
ReplyDeleteFor me ooo I think you should call the man to order and tell him how the wife behaves towards you
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think?
Rather the man should Resign and Replace with Single guy..
Case closed😁😁
Hello iya boys
If I were you I would resign.
ReplyDeleteJust hear the way people are talking as if only holy people are in the church.
Kidnappers, murderers, witches etc full there o.
Do you know what the hubby tells her or the impression he creates?
Abeg, don’t die for the church o because Jesus did that already.
Wisdom is profitable to direct ….says the Holy Bible.
Stay in your place
ReplyDeleteShe can encourage her husband to quit
The man should resign instead..to satisfy his insecure wife..May it be far from me to constantly monitor my husband...who is an adult, if he chooses not to be responsible then it is on him! No time for nonsense!
ReplyDeleteThis means that we will always call ourselves on issues relating to the group. Most days after church we will seat together to discuss issues concerning the group."
ReplyDeleteOptions:
Do not resign. Continue as quoted above. Return same energy as given by the woman or even more - the back to sender mode as preached in some churches.
Do not resign. But stop all calls. If you must, and it is a must, use very official message language by SMS or other written media. Let all after church service meetings have some other male and female officers of the group. And continue to socially respect or relate with the wife as normal
Resign without giving the reason. The man will hear if you state the reason. It will affect his marriage most likely badly.
In all ask yourself. Why are you in church? Group service? Can you serve in another department.
Or God worship? And what does the Bible says about handling the eye or arm that wants to cause us to sin against God or stumble us in worship of God?
As long as you have no intention of dating the husband, and not crossing boundaries. Ignore her. At most bring her close and make her your friend.
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I will ignore the wife and continue with my role, the only time I will give audience is when she turns it to verbal one, and I will report her to church, not even her husband, if she's insecure, that's her own problem not mine, as long as I'm not dating her husband or have any feelings for her husband, her husband should be the one to resign not me, most of Nigerian women are so insecure.
ReplyDeleteGrateful soul
That's someone husband and the wife has every right to feel that way because she loves her man and wants to keep her home.
ReplyDeleteits better you ask to replaced by a male or preferably a married female whose husband is an active worker in church.
If your heart is pure, the man's heart is also pure you both should ignore her and do your job. I think you need to communicate how you feel about his wife's attuned with him so that he can speak to her. Insecurity is driving her crazy, she is just jealous that you are finer, better, brilliant, smart and could be her husband's spec.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't drop the post for any reason except her husband is making advance on you, what if he is your boss in the would you resign cos his wife is acting funny 😁. She will get tired and come around when she is sure you both are not dating.
I will also say make sure you both don't discuss at ni6when he will be with his family except is an emergency. Always have a meeting with the in an open place, if you have another person with a good position the person can always join you both during your meetings.
Madam Poster since you are not at peace, resign from the position the church can saddle you with other responsibilities. Affairs occur anywhere the church is even worse. The woman is just protecting her interest no one has to blame her.
ReplyDeleteWhich interest please? Na her type dey sleep around.
DeleteSluttychic.
Poster, I’m sure you were chosen for that position cos you earned it.
ReplyDeleteDo not resign because of that woman. Let her deal with her insecurities.
Stop greeting her!! If she decides to get physical with you, make sure you give her a swollen face.
Don’t resign o.
Sluttychic.
Hahaha in the church of God?? 🤣🤣🤣 a swollen face? Most of you guys are just church goers. Will Jesus do this?? BVs shaaa chai!
DeleteMaybe the man had done something to make his wife have such disposition, but then, maybe not.
ReplyDeleteJust resign 😔
Hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteThe Most Complex B
Have a chat with the woman.
ReplyDeleteSay something like, "madam I hope there is no problem". When she responds saying there is no problem at all. Then you tell her she has not been responding to your greetings and you felt that there was one. If she denies, give her instances and proof.
After that talk, she will not do that again.
Like Stella, rightly stated, tell the church, you want to resign and your reasons for doing so. Advice them to include another person may be a male assistant and you can come in to oversee things once in awhile, church suppose to understand things like this.
ReplyDeleteYou sef leave that position abeg no be by force.
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunate that the wife thinks that way.. continue doing your work diligently with the man and draw boundaries. She's afraid because you're single
ReplyDeleteI think the woman doesn't trust the husband, so let her talk to the husband to resign for peace to reign or you resign if you're not comfortable.
ReplyDeleteSince the wife is not comfortable with it,you can ask the Church to move you to another department, so far you are still doing the Lord's work. There should be boundaries and please understand that this is Nigeria where some wives are not comfortable when their husbands talks regularly with single ladies.
ReplyDeleteIt's even wrong to be calling the man on phone during week days.Anything you want to discuss talk it on Sundays since the wife does not like it.
As long you don't have feelings and he hasn't showed any interest of having feeling towards you. Please let him know his wife's cold attitude towards you.
ReplyDelete