ADVICE NEEDED
My dad married three wives. My mum and the elder wife are dead remaining the last wife. My dad died nine years ago.
My dad married three wives. My mum and the elder wife are dead remaining the last wife. My dad died nine years ago.
Before his death, he was talking full responsibility of his late elder brothers wife. The elder brother died childless.
All my siblings are married and living in the family compound excluding me.
I built my house far from the family compound.
I visited our compound one day after the death of my father and noticed everyone has abandoned my aunt.
She was looking very weak and sick. I decided to take her to my personal house to continue from where my dad stopped. I have been taking full responsibility of her needs since then. She felll very ill few months ago and died at the age of 97 years.
She is currently at the mortuary.
The reason for this chronicle is that I called my brothers to help out in her burial and non agreed. They claim not to have money.
One said she was wicked to him while she was alive. Like I said this woman is childless.
We are the only family she has. She has a younger sister who is dead and her children are not doing well too.
How do I go about this.
Burial in the east is expensive . I deal on local herbs. The current economy affected my business badly.
I am financially handicapped
*You dont need to do any big party.. Approach the Church she attended and discuss with the Pastor about fixing a date and making it really small.When you have the date you can manage whatever you have or appeal to the church to help you do a small one.......Some tribes dont do it loud when the person dies childless....Is your tribe one of such?
Here is wishing you all the best.
Those your siblings are really wicked, May God have mercy on them.
Just do what you can afford to bury her, the important thing is for her to be buried.. you did your best for her when she was alive and God will reward you for that..
ReplyDeleteGbam
DeleteYour siblings should do something no matter how small.
DeleteExactly.
DeletePoster you are a good person. there’s no amount of burial you will do now that will be greater than you taking care of her while she was alive. Just inform her immediate family, transport her to the village with her church people and bury her. God bless you.
Fan Emmanuel
After the burial of that woman you will see how doors will open for you
DeleteOP, in all you do going forward, never forget this. You have no one. Those people you call siblings will never have your back. Do whatever you have to do for the burial. Cut those people off as much as you can.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, family isn't all that it is hyped to be.
#word 🙌🏽
DeletePlease poster the words of SDK n Doggey should stay embedded in your heart. God bless you for your assistance.
I feel your pain bro, first of all may God bless you richly for what you did for your aunt.
ReplyDeleteI think stella nailed the advice.
Mehn burial in the east is smtin else now, how I hate the unnecessary traditions that comes with so much expenses.
The tradition doesnt fix a time when the ceremony can be held, bury her and do church ceremony for her and fix a future date for other ceremonies. Alternatively inform the village that you are unable to Carry the expenses alone, women groups and church groups even her father and mother side , extended family will show some support. God's mercies will never depart from you.
DeleteTry to confirm if she was part of the women's group or church group in the village, ask them for support and let them know you have been taking care of her for a while, they will be there for you.
DeleteThank you for taking care of your Aunty
DeleteGod will definately Reward you o🙏🙏
It is well with you Poster 🙏🙏
Hello iya boys
you have tried, God bless you. just go to the church and get them to pray at her graveside along with any known relatives....na we humans dey make life hard...you dont owe any village food and drinks
ReplyDeleteChai! Do as Stella says. Or if you can contact her family/village of origin. Or talk to the elders in your village.
ReplyDeleteI know God will bless you for taking care of a childless widow.
Chai! Do as Stella says. Or if you can contact her family/village of origin. Or talk to the elders in your village.
ReplyDeleteI know God will bless you for taking care of a childless widow.
Bury according to your power. Ask whoever demand big to join in. Because nobody suppose ask you for anything. Everybody in your near and wide family plus the community suppose join in burying her.
ReplyDeleteMay her soul rest in peace. Just watch it, your labour over her won't go unrewarded. I'll advise you do a very simple burial for her, the treatment you gave her in her lifetime is the most important thing and God himself will reward you
ReplyDeleteThank you and God bless you for taking care of her.
ReplyDeleteArrange with the elders and church leaders where she attend and bury her without ceremony. Burial is the most important. When things get better you can do memorial service for her.
Exactly 💯 Poster please follow his comment. God bless you
DeleteI support your suggestions Joan
DeleteMy dear do as your hand can carry pls.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for taking care of her.
ReplyDeleteJust do your best. The most important thing is that she is buried.
Approach the elders and let them know the situation on ground. I believe that you will get a solution.
Bury as your power reach,you have tried and done well.
ReplyDeletemay heaven bless you for what you did for the woman and may her soul rest in peace.
Every country in the west has some burial fund available for those who are of little means, even the so-called third world countries. It may not be a whole lot of money, but they have something available. Is there not a government ministry that you can approach for assistance?
ReplyDeleteYou have a very good heart and I can only hope that God in His infinite blessings remember you and change your story.
This poster, you are kind. At this point, do something small and honorable with the witness or knowledge of any of her closest kin. May God Almighty reward your kindness.
ReplyDeleteThe family elders are aware of the situation. She just needed to buried. And no fanfare.
ReplyDeleteYou want to do good and now you’re mad at those that won’t join you
ReplyDeleteThis is another type of entitlement mentality
Bury her quietly and move on
Don't go for any elaborate thing in this economy just do as you can. You can just make it as small as you can
ReplyDeleteJisike.
ReplyDeleteYour breakthrough is coming.
God bless you real good
God sees your heart and will provide for you. Do the bit on the low and honour her let her rest in peace. God bless your heart
ReplyDeletePoster no need of doing loud burial ,the little you have use it and give her a final rest and you see things turn around for you
ReplyDeleteLeave your siblings and do what you can do and leave the rest for God to take charge
Peace
Poster, whoever will inherit the dead woman's husband property should cater for the burial. That's the custom in Anambra state.
ReplyDeleteAnother option is, do the burial ceremony, leave the funeral rites. There will be no funeral rites done in your family until she's given a befitting burial. If they try it,the ancestors will come for them. By taking this option, your siblings will be forced to bring out money for her funeral rites when the time comes.
Wow. This is good advice
DeleteYou cannot force your siblings to assist in her burial. Just do it in a low key since we all know the current economy.
ReplyDeleteI kwago ya na ndu - You have accorded her burial rights while she was alive.
ReplyDeleteTherefore, just bury her, do something small and intimate and low cost.
You cannot come and go and kill yourself.
Most importantly, you took care of her till she reached 97.
When she needed the money most, it was not there.
Why should the money now be available at her burial, where people will just come and eat and make merry and you are further impoverished.
You have done your best, bury her ASAP and move on