CONFUSED SPOUSE
I have a husband who did not finish secondary school because his dad died early and his mum couldn't continue paying his fees.
I have a husband who did not finish secondary school because his dad died early and his mum couldn't continue paying his fees.
I am a graduate.
Before we got married, he was into business and doing fairly well for himself. My husband likes speaking English but his English can wake the dead.
This makes me so ashamed especially with friends.
I encouraged him to enroll in an extra moral class which he did. From nowhere he said he does not want to do business again. He wants to start Uber. He sold most of his things and bought a car. In less than few months the car packed up. He has refused to go back to his business.
He said he is called into ministry.
Someone that cannot spell his name. I am tired. All he does is stay at home. Read Bible and pray. I do not see anything wrong in praying but brother man has refused to work. We have two children and Bills to pay. How do I handle this please.
LMAO; you wont blame him nah, he has seen what Pastors are getting from their Chruch members and decided he wants to try but then again, what if it is God at work trying to use his bad English to win souls?Gods ways are not understood by man.
LMAO; you wont blame him nah, he has seen what Pastors are getting from their Chruch members and decided he wants to try but then again, what if it is God at work trying to use his bad English to win souls?Gods ways are not understood by man.
He can be a Pastor and still work part time, it is only in Nigeria pastors see their calling as a means to an end, abroad pastors go to work and still do their Pastors job oh...Not all are dependent on the Church....If he refuses to see reason then wait for food to run out and go and sit down and read Bible with him....
You have to be smart
ReplyDeleteYour husband is starting on the path to make you fully 100% responsible for the finances in the home
And this is the plight of a lot of women in naija at the moment.
DeleteTomorrow those jobless kings we have here will ask ladies "what do you bring to the table?"
Women, let the men do their jobs!
Leave him.
DeleteUse your resources to take care of yourself and your kids. It's better that way.
You are unequally yoked. You already said he makes you embarrassed, now add an ideal and lazy man to that. See you, See frustration and abuse in front. Make haste now.
My pastor works,he's a lecturer,also,my senior pastor is a medical doctor. Anyone lazing around in the name of gospel will be disgraced. You married your husband with your eyes wide opened. Honestly I don't know what to say. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteSupport him,no dulling,na the highest paying job for Nigeria your husband wan enter. Is like you don't want to be mummy G O. May he collected abitoshaker,that he wants to use for the church business.
ReplyDeleteStella's comment is so funny. Sister, I pray God touches your husband's heart to have a positive thought that will bring good things to your family
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong in being a Pastor as an illiterate but that shouldn't stop him from working.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is also a Pastor and he is working, he even supports the ministry from his own purse and he is not collecting money or salary from the church. God has been faithful
More grace
DeleteAmen 🙏
DeleteIt is well
ReplyDeleteNo, Stella you are wrong.
ReplyDeleteMany pastors in Nigeria work.
Before I relocated, I was a (single, female) pastor and I worked.
You and a handful could be an exception. How many of the big pastors do?! Even medium ones.
DeletePastor job aka modern day motivational speaking is a full-time job in Nigeria.
Lmao 🤣 Stella say read bible with him..
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you poster
Poster many pastor I have come across are not educated,but God has been using them mightily for His Glory.if truly God has called him please encourage him🥰🌹
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteThis poster is funny, some people have given testimonies of God personally treating then how to speak English, that can happen to your hubby if He ask God to help him. Just talk to him and pray God touches his heart yo find means to provide for the family. Its better to have a praying husband than a prying husband.
DeleteMadam no gree for anybody o
ReplyDeleteMy dear no gree o, na suffer o .
ReplyDeleteNa went member bring something before you go eat o. Except they are paying him, then no problem.
You are ashame of his English but not his money or why did you married him in the first place ? This gender are most wonderful
ReplyDeleteSimple as English but good guy
DeleteDon't give up on him. Subtly encourage him to go back to his former business. There's nothing wrong in combining business and ministry. Do this in a loving way
ReplyDeletePoster you just entered one chance. Men of these days are just terrible lazy bones. You would talk tire no change. You see that man he wants to be a house husband while you toiled and fend for the family. You see that church start for him now he would stopped and want to go into something else. Very soon you would hear he is waiting to get a big contract that will never come. Buckle up because your days of taking over everything finance is here. That's how men that wants to be lazy are operating now.
ReplyDeleteMy dear RUN oooo! Pastor ko pastor ni. My former neighbour is a pastor he was rusticated from a University, he didn't graduate. He now said God called him into the ministry. He married his wife without telling her the true story that he didn't finish University. The wife dey complain give me say Oga no wan work. I say look for job after getting a job for him they told him to bring credentials Oga begin talk story because he knows he doesn't have. Na church money dem dey take eat. If you see pastor wife she come dey sell eggroll and soft drinks to survive.
ReplyDeleteA pastor without good literacy has to have some other quality to amass a good following. The world is becoming less religious and that is across every religion. Encourage him to seek employment and do his studies on his free time. You do not have the luxury or relaxing to read all day and neither should he.
ReplyDeleteI do not think he is lazy, just confused. If he had a successful business before you entered his life then something about your involvement in his life caused him to shift focus and bring on confusion. This is why I do not believe in going into ppl’s lives to try to change them to fit our vision and comfort level. He would still have his successful business if not for your encouragement of moral class, or whatever the heck that was. You have to bear some of the responsibility for the confusion he is experiencing now. Let us learn to leave ppl alone when they are doing just fine where they are.
Lollllll
Delete17:27 All this English only to sound extremely daft and myopic.
Delete09:53, how? Because the truth hurts? Learn to leave ppl the hell alone when they are not what you want and go find your type. Not everyone needs to be fixed or upgraded, especially when they have found a way to survive as they are. Ppl learn to survive with their disadvantages in life, they know how to compensate for what they lack and this man was fine in his way before he was encouraged to become brand new.
DeleteIf it ain’t broke don’t try to fix it!
Lol. Sit and read Bible with him🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteAs in eehn, Stella is such a comedian 🤣😂🤣
DeleteI feel sorry for your husband; he is so confused, and he doesn't know which direction to take; hence, he is thinking of pastoral work as a last resort. You said he was doing fairly well in business when you met. Of course, as a single guy with no responsibilities, that's expected. But getting married is a whole new terrain; he had to navigate a lot of the financial demand it brought. You guys probably moved to a bigger house fitted for a married couple with kids in view; you spent on your wedding, kids school fees, feeding, etc. So I am not surprised. You wrote, "Suddenly, he said he was no longer doing business." The way that sentence was worded made him look lazy and unfocused, while he was just trying to break into a niche he felt would bring more financial support to his family.
ReplyDeleteThe main profit in pastoral work is soul-winning (which is honestly a good thing, but in your husband's case it may not appear so). And as the head of the home with responsibilities, it is a wrong move - for him and the flocks he plans to shepherd to use that as a crutch.
If he was a single guy, the advice would be different but you are married now with kids.
Your husband needs to take a deep breath. You both need to sit down and think deeply this time. Rack your brains and try to come up with different business ideas that you believe are profitable. Involve someone who can talk to him if possible, so this time around, he knows to be accountable.
Thankfully, you only complained about his grammar and nothing else. So, he is not a bad partner, except for the financial issues. So, can you support him? You said you are a graduate, but you didn't mention if you work currently. If you do, try to save up and look for a lasting business to run.
Then, if he still wants to be a pastor, he can go ahead and be one, respectfully.
Words on Marble.
Oga pls hustle o,so you will not be a woman at home instead of being the head as God himself has directed.He must be able to provide for his family no matter how small.he should also spend time praying and allow the holy spirit direct him on the right career path.
ReplyDeleteMy sister, wait until food runs out and begin to pray too. Omo no food for lazy man.
ReplyDelete😮
ReplyDeleteFuture ?mummy Go
ReplyDeletePray mediate and read the bible with him ..
Hello iya boys
This story reminds me of myself. My husband finished secondary school though, but drop out from uni. I'm a lawyer. He promised that he will go to school once we get married. My father on the other side not want the marriage but my mum was convinced the marriage will work. To speak English is a serious problem. Very terrible..but if you see him, you will never know. 2 kids after, he's not doing anything tangible. Our marriage has broken up. I wish you well because it's not easy
ReplyDeleteSo you had no say in your choice of spouse? You married a man solely on your mother’s convictions? I can only assume that you were quite young and held her and her opinions in high esteem. Hope things work out for you solo.
DeleteWho English epp?
ReplyDeleteHe was doing fine before Poster gave him the you must learn English language burden.