I am of the opinion that if you or your partner would not be there to monitor your child, don't send them abroad for studies before they clock 21.
I had a relative (God rest his soul), he was my father's brother He sent his only son for further studies in UK in the late 90s, he was 18 when he left, fresh out of secondary school.
He lived with his mother's cousin over there.
While in school, neither uncle nor his wife had the luxury to go visit him, he too couldn't visit home but they talked regularly on phone and exchanged emails.
His parents consoled themselves with the fact that after school he will get a good job and they will afford to see themselves as much as they want. They also looked forward to a better life for the family.
Guy finished school, got a good job and settled there. They kept telling him to come home since he can now afford it, he refused. Okay, do the necessary documentation for any of your parents or sisters to come see you, he refused. By now he had left his folks whom he lived with and moved to another city where his job was. Those ones only talked to him on phone too. He did not visit them and did not allow them to visit.
This got his poor Dad and mum very worried, they kept complaining to my dad and other family members. By now it was more than 10yrs that he left Nigeria, he was over 30yrs old.
My dad told uncle to plead with his wife's cousin over there to assist and trace him. At least let them see him and know his condition.
My people, the result of the FBI work was shocking.
Guy had become an atheist and a g#y living with a fellow man as husband and wife. When the mum's cousin showed up at his door, he didn't let him in. It was outside the door that he found out everything, his partner even came out and kissed him in front of the man. When the man mentioned God and Bible's stance on h#mo, he was sent away after a long speech on the non-existence of God.
My uncle died and was buried recently, died a sad man.
Guy still sends money to his mum and sisters here but has not visited home till now. His father banned him from attending his burial before he died.
Right now, I'm skeptical about sending any of my kids abroad, before they become graduates. We go together, except they are going for post graduate studies. My ears are full with stories that touch after sending kids over there.
He lived with his mother's cousin over there.
While in school, neither uncle nor his wife had the luxury to go visit him, he too couldn't visit home but they talked regularly on phone and exchanged emails.
His parents consoled themselves with the fact that after school he will get a good job and they will afford to see themselves as much as they want. They also looked forward to a better life for the family.
Guy finished school, got a good job and settled there. They kept telling him to come home since he can now afford it, he refused. Okay, do the necessary documentation for any of your parents or sisters to come see you, he refused. By now he had left his folks whom he lived with and moved to another city where his job was. Those ones only talked to him on phone too. He did not visit them and did not allow them to visit.
This got his poor Dad and mum very worried, they kept complaining to my dad and other family members. By now it was more than 10yrs that he left Nigeria, he was over 30yrs old.
My dad told uncle to plead with his wife's cousin over there to assist and trace him. At least let them see him and know his condition.
My people, the result of the FBI work was shocking.
Guy had become an atheist and a g#y living with a fellow man as husband and wife. When the mum's cousin showed up at his door, he didn't let him in. It was outside the door that he found out everything, his partner even came out and kissed him in front of the man. When the man mentioned God and Bible's stance on h#mo, he was sent away after a long speech on the non-existence of God.
My uncle died and was buried recently, died a sad man.
Guy still sends money to his mum and sisters here but has not visited home till now. His father banned him from attending his burial before he died.
Right now, I'm skeptical about sending any of my kids abroad, before they become graduates. We go together, except they are going for post graduate studies. My ears are full with stories that touch after sending kids over there.
Spot on ! Always held this view ! Children will only go to live or travel for further studies for post graduate! You will get your occasional school vacation travel but to go for education, only after you’ve done 1st degree in your home country.
ReplyDeleteDon’t care what anyone says oo
I agree biko
DeleteWe got the offer to either send our daughter abroad to study or to a private university here in Nigeria from a big Mummy which she will be paying. I told my husband I can't leave her to a country i can't visit.
DeleteShe was just 15+ then.My husband wanted the abroad just to brag my daughter is in the abroad.
I stood. Y ground o.Now my daughter is almost through with her 100 level and we video call twice a day.when she is do e with her 1st degree she can go then she knows better
Your husband did not just want to brag, he wanted the best for his daughter. Visiting or not visiting, picking wey go spoil, go spoil.
DeleteMy First Daughter is in Canada ( she turned 20) and she has been studying for almost 2
ReplyDeleteHas it been easy NO.
DeleteBut Godwilling,i have not had Any Cause to regret Sending her after Finishing Secondary School here in Nigeria.
My Only Concern is Financial burden.
We want her to Focus on her Studies,by Next year,She will Start Working,After all if she was schooling in Nigeria,We still wont have allowed her to Work.
Since She travelled, She Has become Independent ,She makes/ takes Sole decisioms,Personally God has been Good to Us ,Preparing to Send my 2nd Daughter also.
Child ( ren) wen go Spoil, go spoil irrespective of Location
Exactly! Everybody can't be have the same. Any child that want to go astray will, even if it is under your roof.
DeleteFor me, my children will be allowed to study abroad once they are 21 and above. And I understand that they will make mistakes here and there, however with the right background and God's guidance, they will be able to raise from them.
ReplyDeleteMost young kids who were sent abroad without the guidance of their parents turned out WILD, picked up vices and involved in juvenile delinquencies.
Keep holding your kids back because of other peoples stories
ReplyDeleteAbi you no mind them 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteHey God ooooh,Im sure if i had read this b4 my Baby travelled,i will have been so Scared.
DeleteGood/ bad happens whether Living / schooling in Nigeria or Abroad.
We still have Well grounded young International Students and God in his Faithfulness will not let my Labour to be in Vain
Oh sh*t here we go again 😴. So sad 😢😭
ReplyDeleteI am afraid I agree
ReplyDeleteI have a relative, he was a spirikoko, as in burning for Christ, he left, and became a Jew abi weda na guru marahaji sef. He just changed after the death of his dad and a near death experience
He keeps in touch o but his calls are long and exhausting, his head is full of the most ridiculous things, he has abandoned Christ and spends all his time doing research, he is vegetarian.
He sends me tons of messages and emails about a lot of weird stuff
He is over 50, he left in in his teens and have not returned to Nigeria since then
My kids are USA CITIZENS.We got the citizenship after we won DV Visa lotteryu in 2010.My kids were there with their mother while I was here hustling in Nigeria to provide their needs.I was frequently visiting them at least three to 4 times in a year till they became citizens.
ReplyDeleteI have to bring them back to Nigeria immediately after they got their us passports because of the issues coming up while they were in middle school.All manner of vices.
The one that is very sturbon till now only goes for vacation and comes back with either myself or the mother.He is studying in one of the universities in Nigeria.So far so good, character wise he is changing and I will only allow him to go after first degree.
In all , some kids still do better while some tends to miss it by joining bad groups and picking wrong character due to the environment.If you observe your kid has the capability to turn bad, dont allow them go oooooo.
Otherwise, most of them end up in jail,drugs etc
My uncle has four kids a boy and three girls,the boy who is not very intelligent and kept getting into trouble even while in secondary school went to a Nigerian university but the second born,very intelligent and focused was sent to study abroad after her secondary school,she has returned to the country and is even a CEO.What am trying to say is that parents should study their kids and know their strengths and weaknesses that way you would be able to know who needs very strict guidance and who doesn't.
DeleteEvery parent, to a great extent, knows the character of each of the children. If your child is an extreme extrovert that has little self discipline, don't allow him/her go abroad for undergraduate studies. But if the child is disciplined and academic, you don't have a problem - just support with prayers. Even in the current state of Nigeria, most parents don't know the vices some of the kids are already into in their various campuses - cultism and prostitution.
ReplyDeleteExactly the same issues my hisband raised last year..
ReplyDeleteMy 19 and 17 year old sons are about to leave the country. One will leave in August and the other in January. I cover my children with the blood of Jesus.
ASUU is about to go on strike again. May God help us in Nigeria.
I somehow agree with you.
ReplyDeleteI know of a family that their only son won visa lottery just after his secondary School. He left and it's over 15yrs he hasn't come back. In his case he didn't turn to gay but it's arabanko and dorime lifestyle. His dad died early this year and as opara, he still didn't come back.
I'm learning from this post. Eziokwum
ReplyDeleteNothing is a 100% but what is more frequent. Society has changed. Please do not send a teenage child to Uni abroad to avoid stories that touch the heart. A word is enough for the wise.
ReplyDeleteLord Jesus have your way in the life of our kids in Jesus mighty name 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
ReplyDeleteSome sturbborn kids should be sent abroad to save their lives
ReplyDeleteThis is such a sad story and a sad lesson. But let me state that there are also atheists and gay people living in Nigeria. Even though I know life abroad can influence nonsense, let's try to instill discipline and also pray so much for our kids
ReplyDeleteIt all depends. Sometimes over strictness in Nigeria makes some kids go wild when they taste freedom abroad. In many cases, the ones I've seen that come to study here in the Uk knuckle down and even do better than their UK raised counterparts as pe exchange rate for school feed things. Even the Uk raised ones, you have to watch carefully when they go to uni and spring surprise visits on them. The most important thing is to instil proper values in them and pray very hard. It's all in the hands of God.
ReplyDelete