He has four young kids with his new young wife. the first child is less than 10yrs old.
My mother in-law on the other hand remarried immediately after the divorce, so she has three kids who are all adults now, she lost her second husband recently.
Now, my father in-law is above 70yrs, he had five kids with his first wife , males and females, why marry a young woman after you became old?
No young woman would not want her own kids. Instead of you to marry a divorcee or widow that is past childbearing age, you married a small girl and now start disturbing us for school fees and the rest.
To make matters worst, the new wife is unemployed. All she does is to pop babies, the youngest is 7months old.
He called recently and said he wants to bring the eldest child who is 8yrs old to come live with us in order to lessen the burden on him as he is a pensioner. I told him no space for now, we are also managing. He called his daughter (my wife) and started insulting me, unknown to him that I was beside her.
My wife felt embarrassed, she told him to call his other older kids. He rained curses on her too.
See me see wahala o.
Well, I am watching as the drama unfolds. He has summoned all his older children for a meeting this weekend. Maybe he wants to share the children to them, I'm watching.
This is terrible...he wants to share the kids out and be popping more kids out. Why do some people behave like this for God's sake. Are you not supposed to have sense at old age.
ReplyDeleteKai! All these marriage wahala sef. So what will your kids call the small children that the man just birthed? Uncles and aunties? 🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteVery complicated something.
Two things.
DeleteOne, the generalisation that men quickly remarry after divorce debunked.
Two, did he stay off marriage to give his children the needed resources and peace free from the proverbial step mothers' wahala while they couldn't have handled it?
Okay, a third.
Now the children can handle the step mother issue, it is for them to reciprocate whatever good he did by delaying remarriage, tell him how far they can go in helping him, and tell them both to stop having more children.
Anon, so if all were the case according to your 1st and 2nd reasons, pray tell why he had to marry a young woman at his old age? And then went on to birth 4 kids.
DeleteWho does that in this current economy?
How can a pensioner pop out 4 whole kids after he already has 5 grown kids?
Himself and his wife should carry their cross.
How old is the new wife? And why is she not working?
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteWhich Kain wahala be this for this tinubu era?
Please keep us posted
Gifty
Omo no be small mess o. Why Papa no reason this him parole wella nau.
ReplyDeleteAnyways this gist here is an intricate family scenario with tensions arising from intergenerational dynamics with broken marriage and remarriages. Your father-in-law's choice to wed a younger woman and have additional children later in life is evidently placing financial strain, a huge burden he had no thorough thoughtful foresight on. It's imperative for the older children and himself to engage in open unbarred discussions as they have now agreed too. And seek equitable solutions, particularly for the children's sake.
While at it, exercising patience, offering support, and upholding boundaries are crucial elements in managing this situation effectively. To which end your wife must stand on your mutual decision, if she is called into this "family reunion".
U could pass ur message in simple English you know. Pls stop trying too hard to impress no one with big big words that aren’t even necessary most of the time.
DeleteHow did you arrive at the conclusion that she’s trying to impress with her written English?
DeleteWhat nonsense
ReplyDeleteThe situation is not funny at all, I am in one right now my mother in law died and father in-law married one smalley ,man that has retired ooo, the new wife gave birth to the first issue, at 8monnths father in-law died and yours faithful just gave birth to twins and just got new job went to work one day came back met the small boy in my house I was told by my lovely husband that he is here to stay, so I now have triplets to cater for without help marriage institution is a difficult one may God help us
ReplyDeleteThis is what some stupid men do. I know one that married his house girl. If you know how the children suffered eh. The older kids are all well to do but do not associate with the younger kids nor their father because they believe the shock of discovering the affair killed their mother.
ReplyDeleteIt's annoying when a man that should be enjoying his old age decides to go back to diaper and school fees stage and then expect his older kids to pickup the bills.
allow the old man face his music, he want to birth children and drop them for others to take care of them. That lady married him cos she knows he has children who are doing well.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your story
ReplyDeleteHonestly if you enjoyed the ride you should be ready to enjoy the results of the ride. Fil, brain reset when he realized that the Naija of today is not the same one 50 years ago, no income coming in and kids must eat daily, him head must dey spin. The young wife too no have no thoughts for the future, she see the situation and still popping them out. Why you going to have an old man huffing and puffing on you that’s broke, obviously she is not the brightest bulb. The blind leading the blind there.
ReplyDeleteThe same issue with my dad, he cohabits with another woman and has two kids with her, and expect we his older children to be taking care of them when he didn't even take care of any of us.
ReplyDeleteMy maternal uncle would have fallen for the same thing, if not for the intervention of his kids that chased the young girl away, he wanted to marry the young girl that is almost 45 years younger than him after his wife died, his children insisted that he would not marry her because, they can't take care of any child and they will never allow any other child to inherit their mother's property that she had with their dad before she died.
He wanted to marry who could be his granddaughter, madness.
DeleteThis same thing happens to my FIL. Infact my grandmother is still alive but old man went to married youngie who birthed twins 3 times. His older children were angry but the late grandpa said they're there to take care of the younger ones.
ReplyDeleteI just hope your wife and siblings will disassociate themselves from the kids and allow grandpa to suffer small.
This here shows the irony of life or the different strokes of life. It is some adult children of some men who encourage their old divorced or widowed fathers to marry a younger woman. The arrangement is basically transactional. The woman help the children care for their fathers and they care for her and her children.
ReplyDeleteChildren who do not want their old widowed or divorced fathers to remarry must provide material and physical care for them.
This man's story is different from the usual because he didn't quickly remarry ostensibly to be able to care for his children. His children should meet with him at a middle ground.
This story is one lesson why parents, especially men, should invest for their old age and not throw everything they have into their children.
Some children do not help or care for aged parents
Some children who have the desire and wherewithal to help their aged parents may be hindered from helping by their spouses.
Lesson
Men care for yourself while young and plan for your future / old age..
Anon17:18 I disagree with you.
DeleteNo 1: Why would grandpa get married to a far younger lady? He should have gotten married to a more mature woman who isn't interested in having kids. Nobody says papa shouldn't marry but no marry far younger woman.
No 2: Why would grandpa have 4 kids at 70, all being less than 10 years of age? I dont see the sense in that.
Anon 17:18, the only lesson you learn is to prepare for your old age, you think here is abroad that you will save for your old age and still enjoy it? Dey play, this is Nigeria, you can even save for your old age and they will still dupe you because you are no longer agile.
ReplyDeleteYou don't learn how to rest and stop looking for pampas and baby food at old age when God has already blessed you with original children, continue.
Why giving birth to kids you can't take care of when you supposed to be eating and resting, you want your older children to be taking care of children you have when they also have their own kids to fend for? E go shock you.
He should carry his burden ooo..things are hard for everyone..he didn't make a wise decision at all.
ReplyDeleteI love this man's column . Always has mature comments from reasonable bvs, not filled with childish comments, insults or gender wars.
ReplyDelete