BRAIN SETTING ADVICE NEEDED
Good day madam Stella
Top of the day to you
Thank you for using your platform to help millions of people solve their problems.
I met a guy 3months back and we got talking and were getting along real fast but on the first visitation to his house, he opened up to me that he was married and divorced with no kids. He told me what his ex wife did and how she moved out of his house and refused to return which led to their divorce.
He told me other relationships he tried getting into how the ladies also treated him which made him resolve to get a baby mama or adopt a baby but his family are against that decision. After hearing his story, I kinda felt pity for him and along the line, I fell madly in love with this guy to the extent I can’t get myself if I don’t hear from him in a day or see him in a week. I began to see myself always complaining when he delay in replying my messages which he always comes up with excuses of the nature of his job. When I call, he won’t respond, when I text, it will take him the whole day to reply.
On my birthday, he called to wish me happy birthday but I gave him cold response and he felt I was with another man and since that day, he stopped talking to me, stopped taking my calls, I have apologize through text and voice notes still no response. I gave him that cold response because I was not happy with the way he was stressing my heart cos prior to that day, he ignored my messages till he called on my birthday.
This same guy was all over me at the beginning of the relationship which made me open my heart to love again and he was still on this same job he started using as excuse. All I wanted from him was time which I made known to him from the first day and that is all I have ever wanted from a relationship. I really do love him and now I don’t know what to do to get him back. I am feeling so heartbroken because he is the second man I decided to give my heart and now he has shattered it.
I really welcome insults if it will help reset my brain because I have guys who love me so much whom I found difficult to love in return and here I am crazy about another who doesn't give a dime about me
Hmmmm this man is not a serious human being and may be this is the reason he has had roblems with the others.....I hope that you did not sleep with him on the day you visited... If you did then you have your answer, if not, please fall out of that love immediately with him.... He is a serial lover and will eventually dump you with another excuse even if you make up with him now.....Dump him fast, and watch what happens...When he see you are no longer interested, he will start calling you to find closure on whether you dumped him or he dumped you...Dont pick his calls please...
DUMP THIS MAN NOW!!!
The more your beg them to love you, the more they loose them. Don't force it.
ReplyDelete😂. I'm with Stella on this one. Poster it's not about what they say, but what they do.
DeleteOP I know your type so I won't waste time advising you. Because with every advise you'd get here, you will still do what is in the inner cooccles of your heart. You will jump like a headless chicken in Karu at the mere sound of his next call.
ReplyDeleteYou need to value your self first before you get shown value. You simply came off as desperate and the man sensed it. That man has no business dating anyone. Anyone who dates him will end up being collateral damage. Not every relationship has to happen. You need to keep your heart in check. But if you go ahead, I'll look forward to your woes.
What's OP?
DeleteOp=original poster.
DeleteDear poster,, he doesn’t feel the same way you do. He is a player and maybe even married.
ReplyDeleteDistance yourself from him, to protect yourself and your heart from further hurts.
It is well.
Dear poster,, he doesn’t feel the same way you do. He is a player and maybe even married.
ReplyDeleteDistance yourself from him, to protect yourself and your heart from further hurts.
It is well.
I agree with Stella, that guy is a serial lover. Please move on from him. Don't call him again and even if he tries to get back with you please don't entertain him because at the beginning of your chronicle, the way you described him, something was off about him. It was screaming Red flag.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Stella your advice came late.
ReplyDeleteThe guy has already stylishly dumped her.
Na the reality remain for her to face.😎
Move on. His nonchalant behavior was him telling u he’s no longer that into you. Your cold response was the ammunition he needed to pull the trigger.
ReplyDeleteMove on, this one is not ur husband.
At least, u can now start to wonder if he was really truthful about the reason they got divorced
Ju
ReplyDeleteJust forget him and move on with your life. He's not your man.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a very clingy and needy person, is it possibly the reason he withdrew?
ReplyDeleteWhatever the reason is anyway, he has shown you he is not interested in being in a relationship with you, maybe all he wants is to be friends with benefit with you.
You should have taken your cue from what he said the first day, about only wanting a baby mama as him not wanting to be in a serious relationship.
Delete his contact from your phone and move on!! Anytime you feel like calling or sending him a text, kindly pinch your face 3 times, that pain will reset your brain.
Why do people mistake love for desperation? It’s simple the other person doesn’t love you or care as much , so sees you as desperate. Once you’re in love you want to hear from them, check on them, make sure they’re happy and okay…. You want to share your highs and lows… Poster he put you on the spot, made you see his FAKE vulnerability with his fake stories so as to get you to fall in love… he found your weakness….( narcissist and manipulative people do this a lot)….. please run now and don’t look back. Block and delete because he will be back… do not go back if he comes back…….. Mine kept showing up at my door, till I threatened with police.
ReplyDeleteMaybe those people that mistake love for desperation have never really been in love because once u love someone, you don’t even need ‘healthy’ space from that person
DeleteI noticed something with men, they like to chase, once you are an easy catch, eventually, they lose interest. Secondly, men love mystery, u should be open, yet very mysterious, let him keep wanting to know you. Let him keep wanting to chase and have you. I am 11yrs in marriage, i still you this tactic and it is working for me, i deliberately make my husband do some chasing sometimes, till now. And it is working for me. So pls op, in case this relationship packs up, for ur next relationship, let men be men, let him chase u. I am not saying u should be hard to get, but pls let him chase you small. Not that he wud tell u one sub story and u will fall yakata like end of year sales, and u start love bombing him. Naaah. U need some lessons on self esteem. It is like you have abandonment trauma, you are afraid ur love interest would abandon u, so u end up choking them wt affection, hoping they would stay.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you.
You don’t like people playing hard to get and u also don’t like people giving in easy so which one exactly should we do.
DeleteEka, i want people to strike a balance. When you play hard to get, u keep deliberately making it difficult for the man to have access. You deliberately skipped where i said *late him chase you small* all in a bid to come and counter what i said. There is nothing in the chronicle that suggests the op let the man do some chasing. Take it or leave it, men love to chase. I have heard men say that they immediately lose interest when their love interest just falls for them immediately.
DeleteSry, *let him chase u small.
DeleteAre you even sure that he is really divorced?
ReplyDeleteEven the married and divorced part is pure lies, you can dig into his past, you will be shocked to find out who he is.
ReplyDeleterun from that guy, he will mess u up
What if he's still happily married and his wife and children are somewhere.
ReplyDeletePlease just ignore him and move on with your life, you'll find true love.
you have been dating yourself all along, please detect whatever feelings you have for this man. If a man loves you he will find a way to give you time, attention no matter how busy he may be. This one does not love you, he has gotten what he is looking for. Just move on with your life.
ReplyDeleteWhat do u mean by she shud detect the feeling she has for the man? Do u kno the meaning of detect?
DeleteMadam, the man has left you or it is best you forget him now.
ReplyDeleteWhen a person (especially a man) tells you upfront what he wants, believe him no matter how contradictory it is to other shown or perceived character.
If a man or woman profess christainity and tells you upfront that he or she is up for gbenshing before marriage. You can only go on with that person as a non-Christian.
He wanted a gbensh partner or at best, a baby mama. You want a husband. You both could not walk together. So he walked on alone.
As said on the streets, He don go.
Best wishes next time. And please don't judge all men by him.
Mr. Mann
I like your comment.
DeleteIf you've had sex with him, know that he has gotten what he wants. Sone men are like that. Please move on.
ReplyDeletePoster learn to love yourself and don't force love either. The guy is just playing with your emotions.If he has tasted of your cookies, you don enter one chance. Just face front jejely and lick your wounds. He is an unserious guy.
ReplyDeleteIf he is divorced like you said he is, I'm sure he's not looking for anything serious. At least for now. Because of his previous heart breaks. He doesn't feel the need to rush into another marriage. Please look for someone else
ReplyDeleteThere nothing like "Dump the man now".... the man has already dumped her.
ReplyDeleteMost men don't know what they've got until it's gone, you may be in a relationship and think you have the upper hand by behaving anyhow and treating the woman anyhow all in the name of she likes me too much and I can talk to her anyhow, but you are forgetting something do not underestimate a woman especially the one you keep treating like trash.
ReplyDeleteListen sister,don’t ever agree to marry a divorcee for you soul sake.i see you have the spirit of lust and low self esteem.get closer to Jesus Christ and stop giving yourself to these men for free.love Jesus and love your self.
ReplyDelete