HAPPY; SAD AND CONFUSED
I’m feeling happy, sad and confused at the moment.
I’m feeling happy, sad and confused at the moment.
When I think its time to put my life back on track, dust my CV and get ready for job hunting after 2 years of staying at home nursing my twins, I just discovered that I’m pregnant again and my babies are just 13 months and 2 weeks.
I gave birth to them through CV.
I’m so scared and wondering if its medically ok for me to carry this baby. Hubby is saying I shouldn’t keep it that the financial pressure will be too much on him.
God please I need your help and directions...
God please I need your help and directions...
First off, what is CV? You mean CS? If you had the twins via CS, you will also have this new baby via CS cos i dont think you have healed well enough...Well, your doctor should tell you that.....
As for your husband, please do not listen to his rant, do not abort the baby please please please!!!
After this baby, you should get protected to prevent unnecessary pregnancies....
Congratulations!
CV …resume
ReplyDeleteSister be careful I love twins but don’t go against doctors orders unless you’re very sure
Check with your doctor asap
Guess it was a typo. Congratulations poster. That child wants to come into the world....... First you have to go for medical checkup. If Doc says you can go ahead, then you have to try and convince your husband to keep the baby. Your kids are gonna look like triplets if things go well by God's grace. Then you and daddy have to be more proactive in closing the chapter on kids for now. Find a good contraceptive method that can accommodate you both. Good luck and pls update us.
DeleteIt's disappointing how some men ask their wives to abort due to financial reasons. One was complaining that the wife changed afterwards as if he did not know that some women deal with the trauma of aborting a baby for a very long time. He is a doctor hence my statement about him knowing that the psychological effects she exhibited afterwards can occur.
DeleteAbortion is more common among married couples than you think. Why did he have an erection and not play safe if he can't financially take care of the outcome?
Poster, put yourself first. Talk to your doctor and get a second opinion from another doctor if you are not convinced with the first doctor's recommendation. All the best.
Well written 18:30. Thank you
DeleteAnne K
For now ke? Abi for good. 3 kids in this economy is crazyyyy. Everything is damn expensive. Was going to have 3 kids but we’re stopping at 2. 3 is more than enough though. Raising kids is not easy either. Ladies should also know how to count their menstrual cycle! To avoid unwanted pregnancy if there’s no plan to have more kids anytime soon.
DeletePoster, pls keep the baby or have the baby and give me. And i mean it.
ReplyDeleteYou see life baa? No one can understand it!
DeleteI can imagine a TTC seeing this post......
The things people take for granted is what some are hunting for!
I rarely judge until I walk in that shoe, poster do whatever is going to give you peace
Congratulations madam. Do not abort the baby please. What if you try to and something terrible happen to you won't your husband continue with his life. Once you birth this please do family planning immediately you birth the baby.
ReplyDelete@are you guys kidding or what, in this day and age, no contraception plans and why do men think it is only the responsibility of the woman to use contraception, if you dont want more kids then you have a snip or use condoms or better still ensure your wife has one in place! It takes two!!
ReplyDeleteThat is what I am wondering. The husband could have done a vasectomy which is short, quick, easy without any down time if he knew his finances were tight. Two adults who knew their financial capacity and took no precautions, none of them.
DeleteIf the men don’t want to do birth control, the woman should have more sense, cos apart from the financial burden, how else does it affect the man pls? Who is now sending in chronicle? Whose life has been on hold for 2yrs straight? The health implication nko? Who is now at a health risk?
DeleteDear women, forget this gender war of why do men leave the burden of birth control to women, cover urself, protect urself. When you are ready u can start again, the women get the shorter end of the stick, so pls, if oga doesn’t want to do family planning, leave him, take it upon urslf to do because u wud bear the consequences more than him in the long run.
Vasectomy ke? Did they say they are done with childbearing?
DeletePoster both you and your husband should have put heads together to do whatever type of family planning suits you both, they usually offer it at the hospital at your first postnatal visit. Alternatively you people would have used both natural family and condoms together.
Anyway, what's done is done. Carry this one to term, after this one do a foolproof method of family planning as you obviously can't afford another mistake
Anon, No one said it's a war between men and women. What of the negative effects the female birth control have on some women?
DeleteThank you @17:46 on the gender war in marriage, which has been the death of several marriages. If the reason for such comments is said onblog Stella will not post. Again, thank you.
Delete@are you guys kidding or what, in this day and age, no contraception plans and why do men think it is only the responsibility of the woman to use contraception, if you dont want more kids then you have a snip or use condoms or better still ensure your wife has one in place! It takes two!!
ReplyDeleteStella CV means curriculum vitae…
ReplyDeleteShe wrote cv where she ought to write cs
Delete"I had them through cv" instead of cs
Poster you will be fine. Stay calm God will see you through. Give birth to the baby then take precautions going forward.
ReplyDeleteCV means her curriculum vitae or her credentials.
ReplyDeletePlease do not allow fear to rob you off your joy, it has happened already and no need to take it out. Just relax and birth this baby before you can search for a job, please keep this baby. You will carry to full term, God will always make a way for you all to feed.
Madam please and please get some contraception...It is free in primary health centres...Look at how it is all on you when it was you and husband that made the baby...Your husband placing it all on you is not even cool at all.....Please see your doctor for more advice on your pregnancy and let your husband go along with you...
ReplyDeleteGo and do family planning please or better still use Condom...All the best....
See wetin I dey find o
ReplyDeleteUhhm your choice your body
ReplyDeleteYou mean you shouldn't keep the baby?!! I will suggest that you should not abort it.
ReplyDeleteYou are yet to get a job, not like you have a job. Ask your doctor whether is medically okay for you to combine the two.
Keep hope alive, God will make a way for you... Stay positive.
The longer a woman stays out of the workforce the harder it is to get back in. You literally have to meet a saint who likes you enough to give you a chance. There is no guarantee you will get work quickly, or that you will get past the probationary period. How will you manage having three children under the age of 3 and working full-time? Maybe look into government jobs that do not do anything face to face with clients, something slow paced. You don’t want to burnout.
ReplyDeleteYou both need to sit down and do the math of what is coming in and what will go out if you keep the baby. Once you know the numbers you will know what will be required from you.
Is there something that you are good at that you could do? Baking, doing hair, art, decorating homes/offices? Is there something that you could get on to start bringing in money today? If you can start bringing in money now then you will not have to worry about much. You don’t even need to be bringing in a large sum, just the amount needed to balance up. Setting up a business is also an option, as you get to decide your own hours and will have more control of your life. But you have to give it care and pay attention to it.
Speak to your doctor to determine if there are any implications for you if you do choose to terminate. Termination is not an option for every woman and it should be discussed with a medical professional before going that route.
All these things u mentioned, with 2kids under 2 yrs and a third one in her belly, are they even possible? U ppl talk of business business as if she wud just shake her wand and everything would be in place. Do u know that business at the early stages when she needs to set it up is sometimes more tedious than the govt job u r mentioning? It is not easy oo. For now i don’t think she can do anything, she just has to wait it out till she gives birth and her kids are a bit more grown. Cos 13month old kids are still babies if you ask me.
Delete17:51, the comment is not for you, it is for the poster.
DeleteBut she’s been realistic here. It won’t be easy at allll.
DeleteWe waited 4 years to have our second child because we want to have enough money to cater to them well and place them in a good school. Even at that, we pay a bit over $3000 per month for both kids at a daycare setting (daycares in America is damn expensive).
One needs to plan properly o hmm. I make sure I read my monthly cycle well. During my ovulation week, I request for a condom that feels like skin to skin. ko easy but praying for the best for you.
Poster, do not listen to your husband's suggestion. Counter him with quiet words of advice and encouragements you will get here. Just remember that IVF costs millions in Nigeria which some families cannot afford and some families have done several cycles still waiting for success.
ReplyDeleteMr. Mann
Congrats. You will never regret taking in, mark my words. This good thing (won't call it a mistake) usually happens between first-born and second-born. The twins are your first-born. May God provide for your husband surprisingly....
ReplyDeleteJust birth the baby and close the chapter of giving birth after which you can continue with job search and be doing sisi up and down
Good advice! 👍
DeleteGbam. Because what else is she looking for after 3 kids.🤷🏽♀️
DeleteMadam you can birth them but prepare for C S it won't be easy but you ll scale through start looking for someone that will assist you either living with you or visiting.
ReplyDeleteIf you have handwork explore that route or working online.
You mean your husband wants you to abort a child like how does it even sound, so you want to agree with him never ever try that ,a married woman should never ever try that, after this one family planning straight up, do it from the hospital sef, after enjoying the lovemaking it's you that will go through the pain of abortion, pls prepare your mind and accept this new phase it's well with you.
When you have sex, what do you expect? I don't like these blame games. If you don't wanna get pregnant soon after a previous pregnancy, you know what to do. Are you 8years?
ReplyDeleteVery irritating chronicle!!!
DeletePoster you be small pikin? So since you gave birth to your twins you have not had any form of contraceptive? Mtchewwww raise to power 2!
Trust God for the process.
ReplyDeleteI am the Poster. CV is an error I mean to say CS
ReplyDeleteMy cousin's second child gave the 3rd one just 4 months gap
ReplyDeleteDearest poster. I understand perfectly how you feel. I don't know if you guys remember me. But I was once trying to conceive after so many miscarriages..and later conceived. Birthed through CS. Took in again when my baby was barely 4 months! I wailed bcos I didnt want another baby via CS. I was devastated but later had my baby via CS
ReplyDeletePoster it is possible. Yours is even 13months gap so it is very ok. When you add 9months of conception it will be almost 2yrs.
Don't abort the baby. You will blame yourself forever. Your hubby should calm down and hustle more...cos that baby is here to stay!
Don't mind your husband. Keep your pregnancy and follow doctor's advice. Be happy and enjoy your blessings. Eat well and take good care of yourself. Your family presently is your priority and not just that job. We had twice like you and got pregnant again after 13 months. Today, we have 4 lovely children and doing great. Wify was not working but constantly improved her self. She studied for masters and has now completed her PhD. She has just been appointed as a lecturer in a Federal University. We have been married for 10 years but she just started working for the first time. All these years, she only focused on family and self improvement. It was not a boring life. We never lacked even while she was not working. God kept blesing us through my job. Enjoy yourself and your home.
ReplyDeleteNiceee. 👏🏾 I love reading stories like yours anon 22:34. Congrats to your wife and thanks for supporting her all the way. Congrats to you as well. Blessings to your family.💕
DeletePoster please 🙏 don't abort that baby oh.dont you try it
ReplyDeletePlease don't abort that baby oh please.
ReplyDeleteGod 🙏 Will provide for you don't abort that baby please
ReplyDeleteThis economy is not smiling at all.. plus you're at risk giving birth to this child because of the timing. You're an adult. Weigh the pros and cons. I wish you well
ReplyDeleteDrs usually recommend waiting 18 months after previous CS. It’s just too close and too soon for another major surgery. Hopefully Dr’s will give you a go ahead to birth your child. After delivery and raising children na the main work. We’re talking about finances, raising them in Gods way and good morals…etc. wishing you good luck and please have a good support system around you so you don’t end up getting depressed.parents friends siblings, church, truth worthy people, nanny, etc…. Postpartum depression and anxiety is real. I went through it and it wasn’t funny at all. Thank God I’m slowly getting back to my normal self. Folks don’t talk about mental health after birth in
ReplyDeletePlease don't abort the precious gift many are crying day and night to have, we know the economy is not smiling but God will see you through.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and all the best.
Dear poster, don't abort this precious gift God has given to you. You will be fine, God will definitely make a way for you and Hubby
ReplyDelete