ADVICE NEEDED
I dont know where to start, I feel completely confused about my life. So, I just completed my NYSC and of course thinking of my next steps in life.
My parents have been asking that I come back home, not that there's something in particular there waiting for me, but of course I guess their first instincts is always to worry.
Now where I am, although nothing has come forth, I was thinking of starting something on my own with my savings (I sew ), but then my mind keeps asking me if that can sustain me here.
The truth is I sometimes have this fear to do or take drastic choices and it's always worst when I'm at home maybe coz it's my comfort zone.
I'm not going to lie, going home seems easy but I know not for my mental health. Here, I have an amazing support system through a church ( which BTW I dare not attend at home), my mum too is hell of a drama queen, I even had to tell her that tho she keeps asking me to come back, she also will definitely start nagging me if no jobs come forth anytime soon or knows that I'm sewing for a living, I know that for sure!! Dont even get me started with the marriage whatever, Which was why I ran away from home without a second thought for service even to the Faraway north.
Please am I way over my head?
North???? Please i dont like the North at all because anytime there is problem, they always look for outsiders and either end their lives or bring down their businesses...Please dont go back home but go to another city where its safer and with more business opportunities..
No matter what you do, dont go back home to your parents house but you can go back to the same city where they stay and rent accommodation since you are also renting in the North where you are....
I know lots of people who became depressed after they went home after service....I also went back home after service but i leave the house in the morning before they wake up and return when they are asleep until i got a Job...The pressure when at home is more.....
Let us know how far with your decision.
Don't go home home. Since you know how to see, why don't you start sewing your own clothes. Advertise yourself.
ReplyDeleteDo you know it's better for your parents that you get married than you get a work after school 🤣
DeleteU go see shege banza if u go back and after one year u have not brought a suitor home
Please remain where you are. If you go home, you know what awaits you there, especially since you say your mom is a drama queen.
ReplyDeleteDon’t let her ”pet” you into going back
Keep managing what you are doing right now, with time you can add another skill.
Don’t think of doing anything you know is against your morals and the ways of God, keep trusting in him everything will fall in place when it’s time.
Also, do not envy anyone or think your case is worse.
SDK has said it all, do not go back home to avoid see finish and more pressure. All the very best, if you are goos with your sewing you will make money.
ReplyDeletePlease remain where you are. If you go home, you know what awaits you there, especially since you say your mom is a drama queen.
ReplyDeleteDon’t let her “pet” you into going home, Na she go first insult you when a little argument arises.
Do you want anyone to tell you how you are eating too much or sleeping when your mates are out there hustling?
Keep managing what you are doing right now, with time you can add another skill.
Don’t think of doing anything you know is against your morals and the ways of God, keep trusting in him everything will fall in place when it’s time. Goodluck.
Sluttychic.
The Lord will direct your steps
ReplyDeleteThe bigger the risk;the greater the reward.
ReplyDeleteOne major difference between "The Rich" and "The Poor" is the ability to take certain risk in life.
@ Poster;Nothing new comes to you if you are soo comfortable staying in your COMFORT Zone;so try something new today.
If it pays off;you WIN!
If it doesn't pay off;you LEARN from the experience and go harder next time..
Always be optimistic and best believe that one day your hustle will pay okay🤝.
Do your tailoring where you are at now;the land didn't favour others doesn't mean you have same destiny with them.
Like I said above;you either win or you learn.
If you win;money goes into your account,and if you learn,the experience goes into your CV or life story😉.
Success story dey sweet Wella when there were days of humble beginning to be told to the audience😄.
Wish you all the best.
@MARTINS
How old are you that you can't strive or push it to become better.
ReplyDeleteGuess your parents have done their part, going back to your parents is it a solution for moving forward.
Own the adulthood , face it and get rid of fear .
In this current economy, it’s not easy as you guys think. She needs to save as much as she can. If she doesn’t have at least 3 to 5 million in her acct, there’s no point staying and relying solely on her savings. Even with 5 mill, that money will go by fasssst! If she doesn’t have a job or customers to start her side business, make she go back home temporarily and plan from there. Besides, northern side is not all that great! Make she leave biko.
DeleteI understand that you need to leave your parent's wings. However i would advice that you go back home. Everyday Nigerian life is tough already. Cost of goods and food items keep on escalating. You don't have a job at the moment, so you can have some financial solace in your father's house.
ReplyDeleteUnless home is a deep village, you can always do your business from there and contribute from time to time.
I wanted to stay back after NYSC because i was tired of leaving with my parents. They called me and pleaded but i insisted on staying, despite not having a job. I eventually got tired and came back home. Shortly after, i got a very good job and also met my husband.
Sometimes, the known is far better than the unknown.
Sometimes the known is better than the unknown! I totally agree with you 💯
DeleteSociety has made it look like one must take risks before making it in life. This isn't always the case. If the Poster were to be my sister, I would be genuinely bothered.
Why in the world would you want to remain far North without a job, because you don't want to hear marriage talks from your parents?
This risk isn't worth it at all. Please go back home
Living not leaving but Gbam, good point.
DeleteThank you Anon. I'm so tired of seeing educated people type leaving instead of living.
DeleteTalking from experience...
ReplyDeleteI went home after service, after the second month, my mother start her drama. No respect again from my younger ones cos I haven't gotten a job.
They all tag me lazy that doesn't want to help herself.
I regretted it.
I have to pack my bags and left home home to Abuja.
Though the work I am doing here is not much paying, but the peace I have worth it
How about go home for now but give yourself a target time. Please leave north like Stella mentioned. It’s a risky city. Listen to your parents. while you’re at home, continue your side business and start networking asap. Talk to people about job opportunities. Save up for 6 months and move out. Move out to areas that’s lively with job opportunities. Have a plan B, C, D, etc. plan A is to go to parents place temporarily. And don’t sit in the house all day either. If there’s a local library on days you’re not seeing, go there, fox your resume. Or even go to a local mall where you can sit down, put head phones on and just Write your plans/goals on a ✍️ and give yourself a target date! Please leave North. Goodluck dearie.💕
ReplyDeleteSorry meant Sowing*
DeleteNot sewing* oppzzz🤦🏾♀️
DeleteYour ignorance is showing pls tuck it in. North is a risky city? As in the whole north is a city?
DeleteSewing*
DeletePoster You cannot thrive within your comfort zone. I pray God directs your path.
ReplyDeleteMany people thrive within their comfort zones. I wonder who started this lie that everybody now believes in?
DeleteShe can also step out of her comfort zone in that comfort zone.
Delete16:25, i totally agree with you, cos i am one of those persons. I don’t leave my comfort zone but i put in my best and i pray. God has been merciful
DeleteWhich one is leave the north, is there any safe city in Nigeria?
ReplyDeletePoster first of all, don't go bk home!!!! And d north depending on where you are is not dat bad as people say it is.u sef,if it was dat bad will u still be there? People just paint a picture in dia head and stick with it.stay and hustle rent a place in a safe area.be Ur own boss till u get a job.na see finish dey wait u for house oh!!! Try and stand on Ur own two feet,mk it work for urself Afta all na baby steps first.good luck!
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, ppl just run with what they see or hear in the media, i am surprised. And most of them shouting leave north leave north have never been to the north, heck even their parents have never been there. See Ola wealth who served in Kano, he stayed their and started his business, after service he moved to Abuja, and today he is an ankara dealer. See Ali B, he studied in BUK, today he is working and growing his family in Kano, Cynthia Iyede that studied in Kano too for at least 4yrs, did she go bck home incomplete? The op didn’t sound like she is doing badly, but everybody is shouting leave north, if it was as bad and as dangerous as u say, you think she would still be there even writing chronicle?? Dem no dey tell man naah.
DeleteAs i am writing this comment now, some ppl are cashing out in Maiduguri sef and they are southerners, tell them to go bck to their home, they would tell you NO, their business is doing well there, if u dnt blv me, ask around.
Don't go back home pls
ReplyDeleteStay where you are for now and start looking for small jobs that comes with acomodation, especially hotel jobs, you can start from there
Stella that is a very wrong assertion you have made. And i challenge u or anybody, there are more southerners in the north than there are northerners in the south, if what you say is true, it won’t be the case.
ReplyDeleteChai.North that so many southerners are enjoying n cashing out Is what you people are talking about like this?.ignorance na disease I swear
ReplyDeleteHonestly
DeleteThese narratives about North is funny..
You know your parents best. There is a difference between having overprotective parents and rude ones. It is natural to want to go away on your own and see life for yourself, there is nothing wrong in that. But considering the economic climate and safety concerns it is important that you are living in as safe a zone as you can be, do not compromise your safety. I think going into business in your youthful years is the best time to embark on going into business. You have boundless energy and if the business should fail you are young enough to bounce back easily. But also try to get a job, there is much to see and learn in being an employee, plus you have some work experience under your belt for your cv. If you can do both even better.
ReplyDeleteAll the best to you💕
Stella you are wrong North,is even more saver than most southern cities by the grace of God I finished Nysc in kaduna ,I went back to oyo state ,I was called for work in kaduna where I served and am more than 20 yrs on the job ,please pray for direction if you are a Christian but even without that wisdom demands that a bird in hand is better than thousands in the busy ,please stay and plan to relocate in 2 or 3 yrs if you are uncomfortable where you are,but going home is not good only one week hornymoon after that disrespect will begin
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're at a crossroads, torn between returning home to familiar but potentially suffocating surroundings and staying where you are to pursue your own path, despite uncertainties. It's natural to feel overwhelmed in such a situation, especially when faced with conflicting emotions and expectations from family.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, acknowledge that it's okay to feel uncertain about your next steps. Many people experience similar doubts after completing significant milestones like NYSC. It's important to take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you and what aligns with your goals and values.
Consider exploring your options while also being realistic about the challenges you may face. Starting your own business with your sewing skills is a brave and potentially rewarding venture, but it's essential to have a solid plan in place, including financial considerations and potential market demand.
Your support system where you are currently could be invaluable in helping you navigate this transition period. Lean on them for advice, encouragement, and practical support as you explore your options.
Remember that ultimately, the decision is yours to make. While it's natural to consider your parents' concerns, prioritize your own well-being and aspirations. It's okay to step out of your comfort zone and take calculated risks in pursuit of your dreams.
Seeking guidance from a mentor or counsellor could also provide valuable insights and clarity as you navigate this challenging phase of your life. Trust yourself, trust the process, and know that it's okay to take things one step at a time. You're not alone in this journey.
Why's this thing looking like what AI typed 🤔😏
DeleteAbeg north no sage
ReplyDeleteEven jos has issues