ADVICE NEEDED.
It was my partners birthday a few days ago. Called him all day, no response. Texted him and he responded at 2hours intervals randomly.
I Called his office and was told he didn't show up to work.
I Asked him and he claimed he was in a training. I know he lied and I have not spoken a word to him since then.
Today he is organizing a party at our residence with friends and family invited. I do not want to attend cos I feel disrespected. I see he's feeling guilty and trying so hard to get my attention which I have failed to give.
My question is do I attend the party, stay in my bed or step out for the evening cos I really am not interested in this today. An apology will not cut it either cos it's been 5 years of lies and disrespect. I am really tired and done.
By partner do you mean live in love or spouse?5 years of dating or 5 years of Marriage?It is not clear but if its been five years of dating with so much disrespect, please have a plan B in store or just end it since you are tired and done...If its a marriage, dont just walk away, have a sit down and tell him for the last time how much he is disrespecting you, if he doesnt change, then i suggest you separate for a while....Sometimes the loose nuts tighten up when there is separation.............I hope that you attended the party cos this Chronicle is a few days old.
If you are tired,then walk.
ReplyDeleteAs simple as that. Poster, are you scared of new beginning? Please don't be. Waiting for someone to act correctly is disrespectful to yourself. Please don't compromise your worth because someone can't fully embrace it.
DeleteGbam
DeleteLike Stella rightly said , if he's just a bit take a walk otherwise, have a talk
DeleteGet dressed and make sure you look your best to that party.
ReplyDeleteHave fun, be xtra xtra sweet and do not give him so much attention.
After the party, ghost him for me 1 week....make sure you block him everywhere so he won’t be able to contact you.
Your chronicle is confusing though, you said he is organizing a party at our “residence” you mean you guys live together?
If yes, why when you guys are not married?
Sluttychic.
Slutty na dem dey cause the disrespect na, den when it is given to them they come n start ranting. What’s she doing at ‘their’ residence for 5yrs wen he hasn’t married her?
DeleteAnd yes i know they are not married, cos a nigerian woman would refer to man as my husband rather than my partner.
It's not very common but a few nigerian women call their husband 'my partner'. I do it in conversation too.
DeletePoster you didn't specify if you are married to this partner or you are just dating. If you are married please attend the party but behave yourself during the party, minimax your smile, greeting people but make sure you observe everything around you. Make sure after the party you have a heart to heart discussion with him, if you need to involve family members please do so.
ReplyDeleteIf you both are just dating for 5yearsbwith so much disrespect, lies please face front cos you are just a side chicken not the main chicken. Five years without a man who have a job to wife you but he can organise a party for friends and family. You are not his choice but his s** partner.
Dated for 5 years you say? Are you the zoo time keeper? When una go learn? When?
ReplyDeleteThere's time and money to organise birthday party but there's no time and money to get a proper wedding done? If you feel disrespected it is because you allowed it. Your relationship wasn't clearly defined so take whatever it is you see.
You have no winning hand here. You go, it will further reinforce your partners willingness to take you forgranted. You don't, you will appear disrespectful to his family.
Anyways, you are the side chick or do you need a dibia to come and spell it out openly to you?
You mean you were someone's cum basket for 5 good years?
DeleteYou claimed he is your partner, from what you narrated up there I don't think he is Into you.
ReplyDeletePlace value on yourself that no man will treat you like a trash ,even if he does like you said that he disrespects you and didn't find anything wrong with that.
My dear show him that you deserve better and take a break.
As you called to check on him and he lied ,and you later found out that he is organizing a party. Just wish him well, if I were you I won't attend to the party.
From the beginning,, show them how you want to be treated. It's not a crime to fall love. Love is not hard. Love comes with respect.
Hw can she not attend the party? Party wey na for their house he come organise am. Abi u skip the part where she said their ‘residence’, meaning they live together.
DeleteShe isn't chained to the house.
DeletePoster if I were you, I would dress up and leave the house before the party starts.
No way will I be putting on a happy face and playing homely hostess for a man who constantly disrespects me. He should host his party by himself
Partner kor associate ni
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteSo where was he on his birthday? Anyhow, you need to have that hard conversation. Games and tit for tat are cool but they are exhausting and nobody ever truly wins. Sitting down to face the reality of your life and having that really uncomfortable conversation and figuring if you will/want a future together, now that is where it’s at. If you’re unmarried how much more courtship do you need? If you’re married what do you want the next five years together to look like. If he lost all his money or god forbid become disabled would you still stick around? Never lie to yourself, do you love this person or there are financial benefits in the union that you benefit from that is keeping you there? What are you both doing together if on his birthday he doesn’t even want to speak with you? Are you wasting away your youth and fertile years because you are in a comfort zone or fear to be single again? Counseling is always an option.
ReplyDeleteIf you are dating and not married, it's better you don't place all your eggs in a basket, or you should just move on. It's a major red flag if you are sure your partner disregards your parents and lack respect for you and if you are married, then you need to sit down and have a deep discussion about this , let him know how much he hurts you with his attitude. I wish you well
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're in a difficult situation. It's important to prioritize your own feelings and well-being. If attending the party would only cause you more distress, it might be best to stay in and take some time for yourself. You deserve to feel respected and valued in your relationship. Consider having a conversation with your partner about how you're feeling and what you need moving forward.
ReplyDeleteYou already said that you do not want to attend. Then, why still ask our opinion when you made a decision already?
ReplyDeleteThat's the height of disrespect. This same party,that you're supposed to be part of the organisers,you're going to be a guest, if you attend??? You know exactly what to do.🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteWake and smell the coffee dear poster. He's had the big day with the Main Hen . Enough of the disrespect according to You. Like a BV gave up there 👆🏻 Attend the Party but pay no attention to him jus go there and enjoy yourself afterwards, Ghost him !!!
ReplyDeleteOwu inaghi akota sign? Can't you see that the guy is indirectly telling you that he is no longer interested in you? You will wait for eternity if you think he would call off the relationship when he is no longer interested .
ReplyDeleteI remember a guy telling his friends that , "I have done everything possible to make this girl break up with me but she still doesn't get it. I have treated her badly so that she would understand that I am no longer interested but she doesn't want to understand .
Poster, any man that is financially independent that dates you more than two years will not marry you except you used jazz. If he started dating you when he had nothing and along the line he became financially independent but yet didn't marry you after about 8months, just zero your mind from him. Forget all the begging. The beggings are for formality sake. It's not from his mind. He has celebrated the birthday with the main person he loves on the actual day of his birthday. Can't you see? What explanation to you want to get from him again. Leave that guy alone, if you stay without a boyfriend for 1 year you won't die. It's better you have no man than to be in a relationship where you are not valued. Don't these things traumatize you? My dear, you will find peace of mind if you leave that relationship. Leave there for another man to find you. That guy will never open his mouth to tell you that he is done with the relationship. He will only tell you by his actions. Don't be deceived by the little little good things he does for you once in a while.lol.
Na wa ooo. Some of you dont even the slightest clue about who you are, talkless of who you are dating but can write a thesis so authoritatively about another person you dont know and whom they are dating. The audacity of your conviction should afford you a dirty slap truly. Nonsense!
DeleteAttend the party and enjoy yourself but madam, its time to leave that man. Maybe hes planning a surprise engagement party sef. But dont marry him cos the lying and cheating will get worse in marriage.
ReplyDeleteThey are not loyal.99%
ReplyDeleteThe other day one said its because his gf can't ride bicycle and that she's too nosey that is why he is breaking up. 5yrs relationship, girl too good, he didn't see any fault.
See whichever way just move on.
I don't have any advice ,bird of the same feather flock together
ReplyDeleteHe spent the day with someone he deems special and you know it. U need to break away from that relationship and please move out while you at it.
ReplyDeleteYour man has gotten 2 comfortable with you and needs a shake up. Your respect depends on it, plus if he loves u he will miss u and you can renegotiate for marriage or lose the relationship.
Besides, you need to let him go finish up what he has going on with the person he was with. U need to give him space to figure out what he wants but you have to walk away for him to see that you have some self worth.
He is taking you for a ride and sadly he is in love with that other person for now.
Like I said give him all the space to figure out if he wants to be with u or her but never to both.
Side chick!!!
ReplyDeleteThis chronicle reads like Abroad chronicles na dem dey get "partner" "called his work and was told he didn't show up"
ReplyDeleteSeems like a mutually beneficial relationship, poster wants more from it--respect, love and care but it appears the partner's attention has shifted.
"I see he's feeling guilty and trying (so hard) to get my attention which I have failed to give" -that is him trying and when he gets tired he will stop trying.
Not satisfied, you intend to punish him further by staying away from the party knowing that friends and relatives will be there (what a way to get back at him for disrespecting you!)
Wondering why he prefers to spend time with others instead of his supposed partner? Look again in the mirror, it appears he has to beg and grovel for love at home. This is only one instance, there might be plenty other similar situations in the past
Babe please bounce! You know deep within that you don't want to be treated this way and from your narrative he doesn't seem to have insight, (which I doubt as he has tried to mend fences even if it is because of the party) or quietly continue enjoying the shared bills/living space in peace and manage the man like that knowing he will always act this way.
PCX
So guys I attended the party, it was a total disaster because we ended up in a heated argument.
ReplyDeleteYes we are married, also.
Anyway, he blocked me after I gave him a piece of my mind. He gave me his too. So we good. We probably will either have a conversation on the way forward or all man for himself.
This is so disrespectful..have a talk with him. That would determine if you would stay, or if you would leave
ReplyDeletePoster your husband is definitely cheating on you, so either you pay him back in his own coin and you move it forward with it and also he tells you the truth about who the other woman is.
ReplyDelete